“After a cruel childhood, one must reinvent oneself. Then re-imagine the world.” ― Mary Oliver
Children are fragile with emotions and despite they show resilience and ability to stand up against any situation more than adults do. However, some traumatic events during the childhood can leave long-lasting effects and negativity that can haunt in the adulthood, if not overcame.Advertising
Anything can trigger a trauma during childhood. The disrupted sense of security, domestic violence, sexual and verbal abuse, mistreatment, bullying and separation from a parent are some of the most common ones. If you’re past as a child haunts you and you face several emotional and psychological problems, you can get over it. Here are 8 steps to overcome childhood trauma.
1. Acknowledge and recognize the trauma
Most people who face childhood trauma go through a lot of problems including the feeling of guilt, self-blame or so. However, people fail to try and acknowledge to minimize the trauma and even pretend that it did not happen, which hits them back. The best way to start healing is understanding that the event occurred and that you had no will to be a part of it.Advertising
2. Seek support
Childhood trauma often leads to isolation and makes people and introvert. Many trauma survivors say that the best way to recover quickly is to seek support and talk to people. Connecting with different people will give ideas on different ways to heal and overcome the effect. Talk to your family members, or a close friend or join a support group so that you can speak to someone about the event and put off all of your frustrations.
3. Take care of your health and exercise
People who face trauma as a child build up unnecessary stress which creates a direct impact on health. A daily routine to keep oneself at rest by exercising and eating properly will keep you away from anxiety and make you fresh. Join a gym club and start sweating because the more you become physically and mentally strong, the more you get close to overcoming the impacts of a childhood trauma. Make sure that you choose the right protein and best creatine to build muscles the right way.Advertising
4. Avoid alcohol and drugs
People who face trauma get depressed and the only gateway they think of is drugs or alcohol. However, the first thing to do is to refrain yourself from such harmful things and avoid them at any cost. If you’re already an addict, you need to start thinking of your future and join a rehab. Alcohol and drugs make people ill while it also adds up more stress in the future though they might provide temporary relief.
5. Reclaim control
When you become a victim of childhood trauma, your past will get control of your present and future. But, when you start reclaiming control over your thoughts and activities, you’re your own boss and you can shape your present and future the way you want it to be. As long as you’re willing to let go of the past, you’re in good shape. So, make sure you’re ready to battle your past and navigate through the sufferings that you went through.Advertising
6. Be patient
When you’re hurt as a child, you develop intense feelings, lose control over your emotions and become hopeless. Healing takes time and you need to be patient with yourself. Take things step by step, one at a time and the little success you enjoy with the bits and pieces will help you overcome childhood trauma sooner.
7. Replace bad habits with good ones
Negativity is going to lead you nowhere. Bad habits will develop such negativity and develop a feeling of mistrusting others, doubting yourself or so. It’ll also keep you secluded. You need to give up on your bad habits and start replacing with good ones right away. If you smoke, quit it slow and it’ll help you relive the pain of the past. If it’s hard for you to let go of your bad habits, go to a therapist or seek help from people around you.
8. Accept it and move on
Learning the fact that you were a part of a trauma is surely hurting. But, when you accept something, it’s not that you need to embrace it throughout your life and go through all the pain and sufferings. Acceptance means that you’ve something to do with it and that you won’t let it ruin your life. You need to accept it and move on, try to move away from your bad memories and believe that there’s always light at the end of the tunnel.
Featured photo credit: jill111 via pixabay.com
Last Updated on November 15, 2018
Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset
What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.
As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.
The Success Mindset
Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.
The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”
The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset
The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.
How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.
How To Create a Success Mindset
People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.
1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset
How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.
A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”
There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.
2. Look For The Successes
It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.
3. Eliminate Negativity
You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’
When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.
4. Create a Vision
Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.
If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.
An Inspirational Story…
For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.
What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!