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7 Things Will Happen When You Start Looking Back At Your Old Facebook Profile Pictures

7 Things Will Happen When You Start Looking Back At Your Old Facebook Profile Pictures

Facebook has been around for over a decade now, and many of us have been members along for the ride for most of that time. Have you looked back recently to review your old posts? The etiquette has certainly changed over the years, not just for what we post but also for what we choose as our profile pictures. Take a walk down memory lane and click through your past profile pictures, and you will find yourself thinking these seven things:

1. What is that outfit I’m wearing?

The early 2000’s were not a universally flattering time when it came to fashion. So the first thing I usually notice flipping through old profile pictures is my clothes. Sometimes the clothes weren’t the right size, too big and baggy or too tight, and they definitely lacked the fashion sense that comes with time and age. Hopefully you saved a few of those bad fashion choices, though, because there sure will be ’00s throwback parties sooner or later.

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2. Why did I ever date him?

This thought doesn’t need much of an explanation. With time comes closure, but when you actually flip back through those pictures and see the person who was once the “love of your life”… well, you’ll probably cringe a little. We live and we love and we learn, and today it’s easier to look back at romantic missteps with confidence that all things work out as they’re supposed to.

3. Did my eyebrows really look like that?

The guy version of this thought may be, “What’s going on with my facial hair?” But for the ladies, eyebrows today are the frame of the face–a work of art that takes thought and time, waxing, and plucking. The art of the eyebrow has developed only in recent years, though, so older pictures are often a little painful to look at. For the gentlemen who currently have facial hair, old pictures without it remind them of their old baby face looks.

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4. Did I think that selfie actually looked good?

The “duck face,” the peace sign, the weird angle… Old selfies can be scary! Can you remember the days when we didn’t have front-facing cameras on our phones? No wonder some pictures turned out so bizarre, we had to balance a camera backwards in the air!

5. Where was that taken?

More often than not, the picture that makes you wonder, “Where was this even taken?” features you hold an alcoholic beverage… or two. During our heyday of craziness, we all liked to show off how frequently we went out to bars or parties. As we age, this pictures tend to fade away and be deleted or hidden. Let’s be real, our ability to party, though fun, is not the part of our character we want displayed first and foremost on our profile. Plus, with the expansion of social media, employers and future employers tend to look down on those sort of displays of craziness.

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6. Why did I crop half my face out?

This one is inevitable. In the early days of Facebook and other forms of social media, we all had the tendency to crop confusingly. You’ll see an old picture that’s far too zoomed in, cropped right around the corners of your face–or one with an excess of blank background floating about your head. Facebook itself encouraged better use of the crop tool by implementing the square profile picture, and thankfully many people learned how to use it.

7. Wow! I’ve grown up.

Some people choose to delete old profile pictures–but I think they’re a great way to look back on how we’ve grown and changed. The good, the bad, the ugly. The poor fashion choices, the old boyfriends, the awkward selfies. They all serve to remind us that we’re all growing and changing, and that’s not a bad thing. So stroll down memory lane and look through your old profile pictures… and then, for a little extra fun, check out your friends’ old pictures!

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Last Updated on May 21, 2019

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

How to Communicate Effectively in Any Relationship

For all our social media bravado, we live in a society where communication is seen less as an art, and more as a perfunctory exercise. We spend so much time with people, yet we struggle with how to meaningfully communicate.

If you believe you have mastered effective communication, scan the list below and see whether you can see yourself in any of the examples:

Example 1

You are uncomfortable with a person’s actions or comments, and rather than telling the individual immediately, you sidestep the issue and attempt to move on as though the offending behavior or comment never happened.

You move on with the relationship and develop a pattern of not addressing challenging situations. Before long, the person with whom you are in relationship will say or do something that pushes you over the top and predictably, you explode or withdraw completely from the relationship.

In this example, hard-to-speak truths become never- expressed truths that turn into resentment and anger.

Example 2

You communicate from the head and without emotion. While what you communicate makes perfect sense to you, it comes across as cold because it lacks emotion.

People do not understand what motivates you to say what you say, and without sharing your feelings and emotions, others experience you as rude, cold or aggressive.

You will know this is a problem if people shy away from you, ignore your contributions in meetings or tell you your words hurt. You can also know you struggle in this area if you find yourself constantly apologizing for things you have said.

Example 3

You have an issue with one person, but you communicate your problem to an entirely different person.

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The person in whom you confide lacks the authority to resolve the matter troubling you, and while you have vented and expressed frustration, the underlying challenge is unresolved.

Example 4

You grew up in a family with destructive communication habits and those habits play out in your current relationships.

Because you have never stopped to ask why you communicate the way you do and whether your communication style still works, you may lack understanding of how your words impact others and how to implement positive change.

If you find yourself in any of the situations described above, this article is for you.

Communication can build or decimate worlds and it is important we get it right. Regardless of your professional aspirations or personal goals, you can improve your communication skills if you:

  • Understand your own communication style
  • Tailor your style depending on the needs of the audience
  • Communicate with precision and care
  • Be mindful of your delivery, timing and messenger

1. Understand Your Communication Style

To communicate effectively, you must understand the communication legacy passed down from our parents, grandparents or caregivers. Each of us grew up with spoken and unspoken rules about communication.

In some families, direct communication is practiced and honored. In other families, family members are encouraged to shy away from difficult conversations. Some families appreciate open and frank dialogue and others do not. Other families practice silence about substantive matters, that is, they seldom or rarely broach difficult conversations at all.

Before you can appreciate the nuance required in communication, it helps to know the familial patterns you grew up with.

2. Learn Others Communication Styles

Communicating effectively requires you to take a step back, assess the intended recipient of your communication and think through how the individual prefers to be communicated with. Once you know this, you can tailor your message in a way that increases the likelihood of being heard. This also prevents you from assuming the way you communicate with one group is appropriate or right for all groups or people.

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If you are unsure how to determine the styles of the groups or persons with whom you are interacting, you can always ask them:

“How do you prefer to receive information?”

This approach requires listening, both to what the individuals say as well as what is unspoken. Virgin Group CEO Richard Branson noted that the best communicators are also great listeners.

To communicate effectively from relationship to relationship and situation to situation, you must understand the communication needs of others.

3. Exercise Precision and Care

A recent engagement underscored for me the importance of exercising care when communicating.

On a recent trip to Ohio, I decided to meet up with an old friend to go for a walk. As we strolled through the soccer park, my friend gently announced that he had something to talk about, he was upset with me. His introduction to the problem allowed me to mentally shift gears and prepare for the conversation.

Shortly after introducing the shift in conversation, my friend asked me why I didn’t invite him to the launch party for my business. He lives in Ohio and I live in the D.C. area.

I explained that the event snuck up on me, and I only started planning the invite list three weeks before the event. Due to the last-minute nature of the gathering, I opted to invite people in the DMV area versus my friends from outside the area – I didn’t want to be disrespectful by asking them to travel on such short notice.

I also noted that I didn’t want to be disappointed if he and others declined to come to the event. So I played it safe in terms of inviting people who were local.

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In the moment, I felt the conversation went very well. I also checked in with my friend a few days after our walk, affirmed my appreciation for his willingness to communicate his upset and our ability to work through it.

The way this conversation unfolded exemplified effective communication. My friend approached me with grace and vulnerability. He approached me with a level of curiosity that didn’t put me on my heels — I was able to really listen to what he was saying, apologize for how my decision impacted him and vow that going forward, I would always ask rather than making decisions for him and others.

Our relationship is intact, and I now have information that will help me become a better friend to him and others.

4. Be Mindful of Delivery, Timing and Messenger

Communicating effectively also requires thinking through the delivery of the message one intends to communicate as well as the appropriate time for the discussion.

In an Entrepreneur.com column, VIP Contributor Deep Patel, noted that persons interested in communicating well need to master the art of timing. Patel noted,[1]

“Great comedians, like all great communicators, are able to feel out their audience to determine when to move on to a new topic or when to reiterate an idea.”

Communicating effectively also requires thoughtfulness about the messenger. A person prone to dramatic, angry outbursts should never be called upon to deliver constructive feedback, especially to people whom they do not know. The immediate aftermath of a mass shooting is not the ideal time to talk about the importance of the Second Amendment rights.

Like everyone else, I must work to ensure my communication is layered with precision and care.

It requires precision because words must be carefully tailored to the person with whom you are speaking.

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It requires intentionality because before one communicates, one should think about the audience and what the audience needs in order to hear your message the way you intended it to be communicated.

It requires active listening which is about hearing verbal and nonverbal messages.

Even though we may be right in what we say, how we say it could derail the impact of the message and the other parties’ ability to hear the message.

Communicating with care is also about saying things that the people in our life need to hear and doing so with love.

The Bottom Line

When I left the meeting with my dear friend, I wondered if I was replicating or modeling this level of openness and transparency in the rest of my relationships.

I was intrigued and appreciative. He’d clearly thought about what he wanted to say to me, picked the appropriate time to share his feedback and then delivered it with care. He hit the ball out of the park and I’m hopeful we all do the same.

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Featured photo credit: Kenan Buhic via unsplash.com

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