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Science Says Gossip Can Make You A Better Person

Science Says Gossip Can Make You A Better Person

Gossip: “The unsanctioned evaluative talk about people who aren’t present”, as defined by Timothy Hallett, associate professor in the Indiana University Sociology Department.

Gossip is pervasive in our society, and our penchant for gossip can be found in most of our everyday conversations. There are various notions prevalent in our society about gossiping, from childhood we are taught not to gossip, but all know its hard to resist.

Various opinions

Different people hold different opinions. Here’s how different people view gossiping differently.

“I wouldn’t advocate a no-gossip policy,” Professor Hallett said. “The point is, if you know how gossip works, you can manage and control it.”

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However, Pope Francis recently warned gossip ‘fills the heart with bitterness and also poisons us’.

But a new study suggests that gossiping may in fact be good because we use evaluative information about others (i.e., gossip) to improve, promote, and protect ourselves.

The Experiment

To understand the reason why people are so inclined to know about others’ failures, promotions, demotions, and achievements a study was conducted at the University of Groningen. The motive behind the study was to understand the effects of the gossip on the recipient.

A group of people including both men and women was asked to recall an earlier incident when they were told gossip about other individuals, then they posed certain questions regarding the way that gossip impacted them.

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The Results: Men vs Women

And voila! Our researchers studied the results and found that most of the gossip forced the individuals to compare themselves and thus helped in self improvement as well confidence building.

But, the results clearly stated that the impact is gender specific; both men and women do not interpret the gossip in the same manner.

“Women who receive negative gossip experiences higher self-protection concerns possibly because they believe they might experience a similar fate as the person being the target of the gossip. Men who receive positive gossip experience higher fear, perhaps because upward social comparisons with competitors are threatening,” says Elena Martinescu at the University of Groningen.

Basic Conclusion

She adds that gossip provides individuals with indirect social comparison information and provides an essential resource to reflect on their behavior.She suggested rather than trying to block out gossip, we should ‘accept gossip as a natural part of our lives and receive it with a critical attitude regarding the consequences it may have on ourselves and on others.’

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There is more to it!

In another scientific study it was found that women who get to chat for awhile on a daily basis stay happier and healthier.

Reason behind this idiosyncrasy is a hormone named progesterone which is famous worldwide as stress reducer and mood enhancer; it gets secreted in women when they gossip.

I guess this means gossiping makes me healthy as well.

So why are we asked not to gossip?

Not surprisingly,a lot of people do not accept the fact and some are still strictly against the concept.

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Beth Weissenberger, co-founder of the Handel Group, an executive coaching company, says the first thing she does when consulting is to ban gossip. “Gossip is a manipulation,” she said. “It’s a form of being a chicken.”

If gossip is meant for providing insight into a situation or getting to know the whereabouts of people, it’s good. But, if the choice is taken to invade someone’s privacy or to slander someone’s reputation, then it’s a vice and not a virtue. Understanding this little difference can take you miles.

So in layman terms, scientific evidence has shown that healthy gossiping makes you a better person. Isn’t that good news? Yes, it is to me too.

To read the detailed study on how gossip can be a virtue, click here.

Featured photo credit: Google via s3.amazonaws.com

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Last Updated on July 3, 2020

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

30 Small Habits To Lead A More Peaceful Life

In today’s world, true peace must come from within us and our own actions. Here are 30 small things you can do on a regular basis to increase your overall sense of harmony, peace, and well-being:

1. Don’t go to every fight you’re invited to

Particularly when you’re around those who thrive on chaos, be willing to decline the invitation to join in on the drama.

2. Focus on your breath

Throughout the day, stop to take a few deep breaths. Keep stress at bay with techniques such as “square breathing.” Breathe in for four counts, hold for four counts, then out for four counts, and hold again for four counts. Repeat this cycle four times.

3. Get organized and purge old items

A cluttered space often creates a cluttered spirit. Take the time to get rid of anything you haven’t used in a year and invest in organizational systems that help you sustain a level of neatness.

4. Stop yourself from being judgmental

Whenever you are tempted to have an opinion about someone else’s life, check your intentions. Judging others creates and promotes negative energy.

5. Say ‘thank you’ early and often

Start and end each day with an attitude of gratitude. Look for opportunities in your daily routine and interactions to express appreciation.

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6. Smile more

Even if you have to “fake it until you make it,” there are many scientific benefits of smiling and laughing. Also, pay attention to your facial expression when you are doing neutral activities such as driving and walking. Turn that frown upside down!

7. Don’t worry about the future

As difficult as this sounds, there is a direct connection between staying in the present and living a more peaceful life. You cannot control the future. As the old proverb goes, “Worry is like a rocking chair. It gives you something to do, but it won’t get you anywhere.” Practice gently bringing your thoughts back to the present.

8. Eat real food

The closer the food is to the state from which it came from the earth, the better you will feel in eating it. Choose foods that grew from a plant over food that was made in a plant.

9. Choose being happy over being right

Too often, we sacrifice inner peace in order to make a point. It’s rarely worth it.

10. Keep technology out of the bedroom

Many studies, such as one conducted by Brigham and Women’s Hospital, have connected blue light of electronic devices before bed to adverse sleep and overall health. To make matters worse, many people report that they cannot resist checking email and social media when their cell phone is in reach of their bed, regardless of the time.

11. Make use of filtering features on social media

You may not want to “unfriend” someone completely, however you can choose whether you want to follow their posts and/or the sources of information that they share.

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12. Get comfortable with silence

When you picture someone who is the ultimate state of peace, typically they aren’t talking.

13. Listen to understand, not to respond

So often in conversations, we use our ears to give us cues about when it is our turn to say what we want to say. Practice active listening, ask questions, process, then speak.

14. Put your troubles in a bubble

Whenever you start to feel anxious, visualize the situation being wrapped in a bubble and then picture that sphere floating away.

15. Speak more slowly

Often a lack of peace manifests itself in fast or clipped speech. Take a breath, slow down, and let your thoughtful consideration drive your words.

16. Don’t procrastinate

Nothing adds stress to our lives like waiting until the last minute.

17. Buy a coloring book

Mandala coloring books for adults are becoming more popular because of their connection to creating inner peace.

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18. Prioritize yourself

You are the only person who you are guaranteed to live with 24 hours a day for the rest of your life.

19. Forgive others

Holding a grudge is hurting you exponentially more than anyone else. Let it go.

20. Check your expectations

Presumption often leads to drama. Remember the old saying, “Expectations are premeditated resentments.”

21. Engage in active play

Let your inner child come out and have some fun. Jump, dance, play, and pretend!

22. Stop criticizing yourself

The world is a hard enough place with more than enough critics. Your life is not served well by being one of them.

23. Focus your energy and attention on what you want

Thoughts, words, and actions all create energy. Energy attracts like energy. Put out what you want to get back.

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24. Assign yourself “complaint free” days.

Make a conscious decision not to complain about anything for a whole day. It might be harder than you think and the awareness will stick with you.

25. Surround yourself with people you truly enjoy being in the company of

Personalities tend to be contagious, and not everyone’s is worth catching. Be judicious in your choices.

26. Manage your money

Financial concerns rank top on the list of what causes people stress. Take the time each month to do a budget, calculate what you actually spend and sanity check that against the money you have coming in.

27. Stop trying to control everything

Not only is your inner control freak sabotaging your sense of peace, it is also likely getting in the way of external relationships as well.

28. Practice affirmations

Repeat positive phrases that depict the life and qualities you want to attract. It may not come naturally to you, but it works.

29. Get up before sunrise

Personally witnessing the dawn brings a unique sense of awe and appreciation for life.

30. Be yourself

Nothing creates more inner discord than trying to be something other than who we really are. Authenticity breeds happiness.

Featured photo credit: man watching sunrise via stokpic.com

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