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Science Says Gossip Can Make You A Better Person

Science Says Gossip Can Make You A Better Person

Gossip: “The unsanctioned evaluative talk about people who aren’t present”, as defined by Timothy Hallett, associate professor in the Indiana University Sociology Department.

Gossip is pervasive in our society, and our penchant for gossip can be found in most of our everyday conversations. There are various notions prevalent in our society about gossiping, from childhood we are taught not to gossip, but all know its hard to resist.

Various opinions

Different people hold different opinions. Here’s how different people view gossiping differently.

“I wouldn’t advocate a no-gossip policy,” Professor Hallett said. “The point is, if you know how gossip works, you can manage and control it.”

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However, Pope Francis recently warned gossip ‘fills the heart with bitterness and also poisons us’.

But a new study suggests that gossiping may in fact be good because we use evaluative information about others (i.e., gossip) to improve, promote, and protect ourselves.

The Experiment

To understand the reason why people are so inclined to know about others’ failures, promotions, demotions, and achievements a study was conducted at the University of Groningen. The motive behind the study was to understand the effects of the gossip on the recipient.

A group of people including both men and women was asked to recall an earlier incident when they were told gossip about other individuals, then they posed certain questions regarding the way that gossip impacted them.

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The Results: Men vs Women

And voila! Our researchers studied the results and found that most of the gossip forced the individuals to compare themselves and thus helped in self improvement as well confidence building.

But, the results clearly stated that the impact is gender specific; both men and women do not interpret the gossip in the same manner.

“Women who receive negative gossip experiences higher self-protection concerns possibly because they believe they might experience a similar fate as the person being the target of the gossip. Men who receive positive gossip experience higher fear, perhaps because upward social comparisons with competitors are threatening,” says Elena Martinescu at the University of Groningen.

Basic Conclusion

She adds that gossip provides individuals with indirect social comparison information and provides an essential resource to reflect on their behavior.She suggested rather than trying to block out gossip, we should ‘accept gossip as a natural part of our lives and receive it with a critical attitude regarding the consequences it may have on ourselves and on others.’

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There is more to it!

In another scientific study it was found that women who get to chat for awhile on a daily basis stay happier and healthier.

Reason behind this idiosyncrasy is a hormone named progesterone which is famous worldwide as stress reducer and mood enhancer; it gets secreted in women when they gossip.

I guess this means gossiping makes me healthy as well.

So why are we asked not to gossip?

Not surprisingly,a lot of people do not accept the fact and some are still strictly against the concept.

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Beth Weissenberger, co-founder of the Handel Group, an executive coaching company, says the first thing she does when consulting is to ban gossip. “Gossip is a manipulation,” she said. “It’s a form of being a chicken.”

If gossip is meant for providing insight into a situation or getting to know the whereabouts of people, it’s good. But, if the choice is taken to invade someone’s privacy or to slander someone’s reputation, then it’s a vice and not a virtue. Understanding this little difference can take you miles.

So in layman terms, scientific evidence has shown that healthy gossiping makes you a better person. Isn’t that good news? Yes, it is to me too.

To read the detailed study on how gossip can be a virtue, click here.

Featured photo credit: Google via s3.amazonaws.com

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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