Advertising
Advertising

Science Says Gossip Can Make You A Better Person

Science Says Gossip Can Make You A Better Person

Gossip: “The unsanctioned evaluative talk about people who aren’t present”, as defined by Timothy Hallett, associate professor in the Indiana University Sociology Department.

Gossip is pervasive in our society, and our penchant for gossip can be found in most of our everyday conversations. There are various notions prevalent in our society about gossiping, from childhood we are taught not to gossip, but all know its hard to resist.

Various opinions

Different people hold different opinions. Here’s how different people view gossiping differently.

“I wouldn’t advocate a no-gossip policy,” Professor Hallett said. “The point is, if you know how gossip works, you can manage and control it.”

Advertising

However, Pope Francis recently warned gossip ‘fills the heart with bitterness and also poisons us’.

But a new study suggests that gossiping may in fact be good because we use evaluative information about others (i.e., gossip) to improve, promote, and protect ourselves.

The Experiment

To understand the reason why people are so inclined to know about others’ failures, promotions, demotions, and achievements a study was conducted at the University of Groningen. The motive behind the study was to understand the effects of the gossip on the recipient.

A group of people including both men and women was asked to recall an earlier incident when they were told gossip about other individuals, then they posed certain questions regarding the way that gossip impacted them.

Advertising

The Results: Men vs Women

And voila! Our researchers studied the results and found that most of the gossip forced the individuals to compare themselves and thus helped in self improvement as well confidence building.

But, the results clearly stated that the impact is gender specific; both men and women do not interpret the gossip in the same manner.

“Women who receive negative gossip experiences higher self-protection concerns possibly because they believe they might experience a similar fate as the person being the target of the gossip. Men who receive positive gossip experience higher fear, perhaps because upward social comparisons with competitors are threatening,” says Elena Martinescu at the University of Groningen.

Basic Conclusion

She adds that gossip provides individuals with indirect social comparison information and provides an essential resource to reflect on their behavior.She suggested rather than trying to block out gossip, we should ‘accept gossip as a natural part of our lives and receive it with a critical attitude regarding the consequences it may have on ourselves and on others.’

Advertising

There is more to it!

In another scientific study it was found that women who get to chat for awhile on a daily basis stay happier and healthier.

Reason behind this idiosyncrasy is a hormone named progesterone which is famous worldwide as stress reducer and mood enhancer; it gets secreted in women when they gossip.

I guess this means gossiping makes me healthy as well.

So why are we asked not to gossip?

Not surprisingly,a lot of people do not accept the fact and some are still strictly against the concept.

Advertising

Beth Weissenberger, co-founder of the Handel Group, an executive coaching company, says the first thing she does when consulting is to ban gossip. “Gossip is a manipulation,” she said. “It’s a form of being a chicken.”

If gossip is meant for providing insight into a situation or getting to know the whereabouts of people, it’s good. But, if the choice is taken to invade someone’s privacy or to slander someone’s reputation, then it’s a vice and not a virtue. Understanding this little difference can take you miles.

So in layman terms, scientific evidence has shown that healthy gossiping makes you a better person. Isn’t that good news? Yes, it is to me too.

To read the detailed study on how gossip can be a virtue, click here.

Featured photo credit: Google via s3.amazonaws.com

More by this author

How To Keep The Conversation Going With Someone You’ve Just Met Science Says Gossip Can Make You A Better Person 5 Healthy Lunch Ideas for Work

Trending in Communication

1 7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive 2 10 Things a Happy Person Does Differently 3 50+ Best Motivational Quotes To Overcome Life’s Challenges 4 41 Beautiful Pictures That Show What True Love Is All About 5 The Lifehack Show Episode 3: Why Validation is Key to Lasting Relationships

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 16, 2019

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

7 Ways to Get Rid of Negative Energy and Become Positive

Negativity affects ourselves and everyone around us. It limits our potential to become something great and live a fulfilling, purposeful life. Negativity has a tangible effect on our health, too. Research has shown that people who cultivate negative energy experience more stress, more sickness, and less opportunity over the course of their lives than those who choose to live positively.

When we make a decision to become positive, and follow that decision up with action, we will begin to encounter situations and people that are also positive. The negative energy gets edged out by all positive experiences. It’s a snowball effect.

Although negative and positive thoughts will always exist, the key to becoming positive is to limit the amount of negativity that we experience by filling ourselves up with more positivity.

Here are some ways to get rid of negativity and become more positive.

1. Become Grateful for Everything

When life is all about us, it’s easy to believe that we deserve what we have. An attitude of entitlement puts us at the center of the universe and sets up the unrealistic expectation that others should cater to us, our needs, and our wants. This vain state of existence is a surefire way to set yourself up for an unfulfilled life of negativity.

People living in this sort of entitlement are “energy suckers”–they are always searching for what they can get out of a situation. People that don’t appreciate the nuances of their lives live in a constant state of lacking. And it’s really difficult to live a positive life this way.

Advertising

When we begin to be grateful and appreciate everything in our lives–from the small struggles that make us better, to the car that gets us from A to B every day–we shift our attitude from one of selfishness, to one of appreciation. This appreciation gets noticed by others, and a positive harmony begins to form in our relationships.

We begin to receive more of that which we are grateful for, because we’ve opened ourselves up to the idea of receiving, instead of taking. This will make your life more fulfilling, and more positive.

2. Laugh More, Especially at Yourself

Life gets busy, our schedules fill up, we get into relationships, and work can feel task oriented and routine-driven at times. Being human can feel more like being a robot. But having this work-driven, serious attitude often results in negative and performance oriented thinking.

Becoming positive means taking life less seriously and letting yourself off the hook. This is the only life that you get to live, why not lighten up your mood?

Laughter helps us become positive by lightening our mood and reminding us not to take life so seriously. Are you sensitive to light sarcasm? Do you have trouble laughing at jokes? Usually, people who are stressed out and overly serious get most offended by sarcasm because their life is all work and no play.

If we can learn to laugh at ourselves and our mistakes, life will become more of an experiment in finding out what makes us happy. And finding happiness means finding positivity.

Advertising

3. Help Others

Negativity goes hand in hand with selfishness. People that live only for themselves have no higher purpose in their lives. If the whole point of this world is only to take care of yourself and no one else, the road to a long-term fulfillment and purpose is going to be a long one.

Positivity accompanies purpose. The most basic way to create purpose and positivity in your life is to begin doing things for others. Start small; open the door for the person in front of you at Starbucks or ask someone how their day was before telling them about yours.

Helping others will give you an intangible sense of value that will translate into positivity. And people might just appreciate you in the process.

4. Change Your Thinking

We can either be our best coach or our best enemy. Change starts from within. If you want to become more positive, change the wording of your thoughts. We are the hardest on ourselves, and a stream of negative self talk is corrosive to a positive life.

The next time you have a negative thought, write it down and rephrase it with a positive spin. For example, change a thought like, “I can’t believe I did so horribly on the test–I suck.” to “I didn’t do as well as I hoped to on this test. But I know I’m capable and I’ll do better next time.”

Changing our self-talk is powerful.

Advertising

5. Surround Yourself with Positive People

We become most like the people that we surround ourselves with. If our friend group is full of negative energy-suckers and drama queens, we will emulate that behavior and become like them. It is very difficult to become more positive when the people around us don’t support or demonstrate positive behavior.

As you become more positive, you’ll find that your existing friends will either appreciate the new you or they will become resistant to your positive changes. This is a natural response.

Change is scary; but cutting out the negative people in your life is a huge step to becoming more positive. Positive people reflect and bounce their perspectives onto one another. Positivity is a step-by-step process when you do it solo, but a positive group of friends can be an escalator.

6. Get into Action

Negative thoughts can be overwhelming and challenging to navigate. Negativity is usually accompanied by a “freak-out” response, especially when tied to relationships, people and to worrying about the future. This is debilitating to becoming positive and usually snowballs into more worry, more stress and more freak-outs.

Turn the negative stress into positive action. The next time you’re in one of these situations, walk away and take a break. With your eyes closed, take a few deep breaths. Once you’re calm, approach the situation or problem with a pen and pad of paper. Write out four or five actions or solutions to begin solving the problem.

Taking yourself out of the emotionally charged negative by moving into the action-oriented positive will help you solve more problems rationally and live in positivity

Advertising

7. Take Full Responsibility, Stop Being the Victim

You are responsible for your thoughts.

People that consistently believe that things happen to them handicap themselves to a victim mentality. This is a subtle and deceptive negative thought pattern. Phrases like “I have to work” or “I can’t believe he did that to me” are indicators of a victim mentality. Blaming circumstances and blaming others only handicaps our decision to change something negative into something positive.

Taking full responsibility for your life, your thoughts and your actions is one of the biggest steps in creating a more positive life. We have unlimited potential within to create our own reality, change our life, and change our thoughts. When we begin to really internalize this, we discover that no one can make us feel or do anything. We choose our emotional and behavioral response to people and circumstances.

Make positive choices in favor of yourself.

“Watch your thoughts; they become words. Watch your words; they become actions. Watch your actions; they become habit. Watch your habits; they become character. Watch your character; it becomes your destiny” ― Lao Tzu

More About Positivity

Featured photo credit: Brooke Cagle via unsplash.com

Read Next