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8 Things That Only People with Inner Confidence Know

8 Things That Only People with Inner Confidence Know

At 3 1/2 my daughter climbed the countertops for a box of cheerios and a bowl.  She was valiantly attempting to prepare her breakfast.  I was incredibly threatened, “How after only a few short years, could this totally dependent being could already need me less?”

In his 1843 essay titled “Self-Reliance”, Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote about this basic human need for individuals to follow their own instincts and ideas in life. Liberating,right??!! Intimidating,Yes!!!  My daughter’s innate drive for self-reliance and trusty individualism was a huge test for what Emerson coined as, “Trust Thyself”. If you are one of those people who have this type of inner confidence, naturally you most likely don’t depend on others. Here are 8 things those who don’t depend on others would understand.

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1.  You Have Strong Values

Whether it’s your disposition, experience, or some combination of the two, you’ve learned that truth is your religion.  You live by values which naturally flow from the inner confidence and core of who you are.  These values are the unshakable foundation from which you derive your sense of confidence.  Those who don’t depend others to make determinations in life, are aware that truth comes from within and you use this fundamental truth to relate to the world, solve problems and set goals.

2.  You Don’t Depend On Others To Make Decisions

Reserving the right to make your own decisions maintains your autonomy and independence in a world full of potential choices. Others may not agree or understand your strong “pursuit of happiness“, however there is no shame in following your instincts in discovering your path in life. Of course, it is important to be kind while asserting yourself, however it is not necessary to give into to an expectation that does not fit with what you desire.

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3.  You Know What You Want

Those who don’t depend on others are self-reliant and are fully aware of their direction in life due to inner confidence. You have have short and long term goals set that are realistic and attainable. You can often be labeled as stubborn, defiant, or bull-headed by family members and peers but you consider it to be inner confidence. However, because of a strong drive and sense of what is right for you; following your intuition rather than group consensus is all the direction you require. You staunchly express independent thinking in support of your own ideas and opinions.

4.  You Are Informed

In knowing what you want, your thirst for knowledge helps you effortlessly move forward in life. Information is your life’s light saber; illuminating the path in the presence of uncertainty or influence. Although these are not common experiences for those who don’t depend on others, they are human experiences. Being informed keeps you well-rounded so the pressures of conformity can easily roll off and advocacy for self and others is one of your highly respected character traits.

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5.  You Are Seemingly Quiet

Quiet is not an accurate description, but that’s how others may experience you, however you are most likely engaging in quiet observation. Observation is a necessary tool in figuring things out.  You stop, look and listen, while you observe your own as well as others’ thoughts and actions in an attempt to determine how to authentically relate to the situation. You don’t depend on the lead of others to fit in.

6.   You are Okay With Making Mistakes

Those who don’t depend on others, typically don’t seek validation so making a mistake is no big deal.   You fully accept  the learning curve in life.  As an independent person you have a “bring it on” attitude when it comes to figuring it out, knowing that mistakes lead to greater understanding. What’s the worst that can happen, right? Some of this world’s greatest entrepreneurs  have confronted their deepest fears only to ultimately end up right where they belong — all because of inner confidence that carried them along.

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7.  You Don’t Need a Plan

Because you are resolute in your values, have identified goals, are keen in observation, and at ease with learning as you go; you let these principles guide you in your journey. Your infinite wealth of positive and negative experience provides proof that it all works out, because sometimes climbing the counter for Cheerios results in a tumble. However, you understand that a tumble is a part of success. Not needing a plan allows you to benefit from the trial and error in life because independent people thrive on learning through action.

 8. You Assume Responsibility

How would any of this be possible if you weren’t a pro at taking responsibility? When self-reliant people don’t depend on others, they don’t point the finger, its just not an option. You assume ownership in all areas of your life, but you don’t beat yourself up for not being perfect. When independent people take responsibility it’s not just for all of the extrinsic stuff; they take responsibility for themselves as well, knowing that respect and trust in “thyself” is key.

Featured photo credit: Beautiful girl in forest turning her back by Viktor Hanicek via picjumbo.com

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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