“If you’re ever in a jam, here I am
If you’re ever in a mess, S-O-S
If you ever feel so happy, you land in jail… I’m your bail.
It’s friendship, friendship, just a perfect blendship.
When other friendships have been forgot,
Ours will still be hot.
Lah-dle-ah-dle-ah-dle dig, dig, dig.”
Whenever I think of friendship I think of that Kay Kyser song. It’s happy-making—even just like the thought of friendship itself. I like to imagine a good friend who laughs at your jokes, tells you when there’s spinach in your teeth and who wants the best for you.
“One loyal friend is worth ten-thousand relatives.”
We all know that friendship can make the carnival that is life way more enjoyable. I mean, who wants to go to a carnival alone anyway? Friends make the party worthwhile. Without friends, this party’s a bust. But did you also know that, in addition to the good times and memory making, having friends can also improve your health? Yep. There’s even research to back it up!
What the Experts Discovered
In a recent finding, The National Academy of Sciences states that if we isolate ourselves and remain antisocial we could be harming ourselves.Advertising
“Social isolation increased the risk of inflammation by the same magnitude as physical inactivity in adolescence, and the effect of social isolation on hypertension exceeded that of clinical risk factors such as diabetes in old age.”
The Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, did a study based on previous research, proving that seniors have a longer lifespan if they have more social connections.
According to the Department of Sociology, University of North Carolina, “The effect of social isolation on hypertension risk exceeded the effect of diabetes, a well known risk factor for hypertension at older ages. The associations of social integration with overall obesity are significant in both early and late life and higher social support was associated with lower odds of abdominal and overall obesity in young to mid adulthood.”Advertising
A bunch of folks got together to study the impact of friendship at different stages of our lives. The data came from The National Longitudinal Study of Adolescent to Adult Health (Add Health) to capture adolescence and young adulthood, the National Survey of Midlife Development in the United States (MIDUS) for middle adulthood, and both the Health and Retirement Study (HRS) and the National Social Life, Health, and Aging Project (NSHAP) for late adulthood. As it turns out, we need different things, at different stages.
Kathleen Mullan Harris, James Haar Distinguished Professor at UNC-Chapel Hill found that in early and late adulthood, size matters. Both in the early stages of life and the later, it’s important to have a large social network. But when it comes to that area in the middle, “middle adulthood,” it’s not so much about quantity, it’s more about quality. In regards to mid-life, Science Daily notes, “it’s not the number of social connections that matter, but what those connections provide in terms of social support or strain.”
Science also tells us that people who isolate, have an increased risk of cardiovascular diseases and a compromised immune response to viral infections.Advertising
Maybe now would be a good time to check out some Meetups, enroll in an art class, make new friends. Who knows? Maybe you’ll click with someone new and that new friend will be with you through thick and thin. It might also be a good time to call up that old pal and plan that lunch. You could be mutual lifesavers.
“There is nothing better than a friend, unless it is a friend with chocolate.”
Last Updated on September 12, 2019
12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life
Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.
While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:
What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?
Here are 12 things to remember:
1. Recognize That It’s Okay!
The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.
However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.
We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.
Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It
2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide
You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”
Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.
3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth
Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.
Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!
4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think
Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.
No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.
5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer
Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.
Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.
6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now
Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.
Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.
Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable
7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best
Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.
Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.
And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.
8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious
When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.
Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.
9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason
Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.
Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.
Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.
10. Journal During This Time
Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.
This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.
11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way
It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.
The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!
Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.
12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists
The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.
Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.
When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.
Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!
Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.
Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.
More About Finding Yourself
- How to Find Purpose in Life and Make Yourself a Better Person
- 14 Books That You Should Read When You Feel Lost In Life
- Feeling Stuck in Life? How to Never Get Stuck Again
- How to Be Happy Again: 13 Simple Ways to Shake off Sadness Now
Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com