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6 Ways For Parents to Add More Family Fun Before Bedtime

6 Ways For Parents to Add More Family Fun Before Bedtime

Bedtime can be a sweet time, but it can also be a hair-raising nightmare. Sometimes, the same old routine just doesn’t cut it for your little tiger who’s still bouncing off the walls 30 minutes after “lights out.” It is in those moments that you must get creative or risk getting committed to a psych ward.

So, here are six ways to break up the monotony of putting kids to bed while adding a bunch of fun. Same old, same old gets…well…old. If you’re stuck in the same routine each night and want to change things up, try one of these methods:

1. Jump out the wiggles.

Kids have energy. Lots of energy. Some kids simply walk past a piece of candy and start wiggling. They have a lot of energy because they’re so full of life. With that comes the test of a parent’s daily endurance. Oftentimes, parents feel more ready for bed than they are. OK, every time. Adding a set time to be intentionally active (WITH mom/dad) right before bed will help kids wind down in a fun and different way.

ACTION STEP: When bedtime approaches and the little ones are still racing from one end of the house to the other, try throwing every soft item in your living room, i.e. cushions, pillows, and blankets, into the middle of the floor. Honestly, the kids take it from there. It’s like lining the flooring underneath with magnets; kids simply have to pounce. You can also play music and join in the fun.

2.  Build a “Story Time Tent.”

Many families curl up on the couch to read bedtime stories, but sometimes children get wiggly or bored – or both.

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ACTION STEP: Try constructing a tent with several chairs and a bed sheet. Line the floor of the tent with a blanket and some pillows. Turn out the lights, snuggle in, and read by flashlight. Kids love crawling into places that offer a new experience or some discovery. Imagination plays a big part in the fun. Kids just so happen to be experts in that department.

When we provide creative avenues in which our children can use their imagination, studies show that we’re actually helping them get a grip on reality. According to a study released on the Wall Street Journal, imagination is an integral tool for children as they learn about events that happened in other places in the world or in the past – events they couldn’t see. It also helps them wrestle with the proverbial question: “What do you want to be when you grow up?”

No flashlight in the house? Grab a flashlight app for your phone if the real thing isn’t handy.

3. Listen to audio books.

This option may not be as exhilarating as throwing a light switch rave or turning the house into a giant maze, but when you want the children to wind down, this can change things up. It also has a more important benefit. According to Tricia at The Domestic Fringe, routinely teaching your children to sit still and listen to audible books or songs helps them develop the patience to sit still in other settings like church, the doctor’s office, etc.

ACTION STEP: Designate a special reading area or reading chair for your child. Tricia recommends one hour each day if your goal is to train your child to sit still. Less time may be sufficient if you simply wish to add variety to storytime.

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4. Get in on their game.

Do you remember that ridiculous video of a yoga class being led by a toddler? It looked like a fun workout as each adult tried to mimic the wild and sporadic movements of their tiny instructor. You can bet the child was having the time of his life. Imagine your own child leading in one of his or her games tonight. The Childhood Development Institute reports that playing with our kids tells them that we love them, and “it’s also a great stress reducer for overworked parents.”

ACTION STEP: Try putting down what you’re doing tonight, even if you’re tired, and playing what your children are playing. Get floor-level. You’ll be amazed what you’ll discover when they take the lead.

So often parents feel the need to monitor play time like we’re security guards on patrol. Give yourself permission to build a tower out of blocks or paint nails or jump into a pile of pillows tonight.

5. Let them scribble.

“Don’t write on that!” is a common expression in most households. You probably have planners and notebooks and perhaps a journal resting in various parts of your house. It’s alright for kids to learn that those items are off limits, but what if you permitted them to write or draw something special for you – under your guidance? According to the American Psychological Association, one very important responsibility for parents is to nurture children as they develop their own interests. Another way to say it is this:

“Parents and caregivers offer their children love, acceptance, appreciation, encouragement, and guidance. They provide the most intimate context for the nurturing and protection of children as they develop their personalities and identities and also as they mature physically, cognitively, emotionally, and socially.” – APA

ACTION STEP: Your challenge is to sit down with your children before bed and let them write a special note in your notebook or journal. Give them the freedom to express themselves in a way they normally don’t get to.

For example:

Your children can dictate a story, draw a picture, sign their name, tell you about their day, or just scribble. If they’re too young to draw, trace their handprint and label it with your child’s name, age and the date.

Someday, you will flip through that journal, see their scrawlings, and it will be a cherished memory. Or you’ll burst out laughing. These are both excellent reasons to try this.

Don’t have a journal?  Grab a spiral bound notebook and start one.

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6. Skype with friends and family.

Many families have at least one parent who works evenings. It can be hard to miss so many good night hugs and kisses from one’s children. Research also says the irregular night shifts so many parents face has the potential to impact a child’s development. To help combat that, start a new routine at bedtime.

ACTION STEP: Depending on your significant other’s occupation, schedule Skype or FaceTime dates to let the children speak with their working dad or mom before bed. This also works great for out of town grandparents or cousins (who are also getting ready for bed. See the added benefit?).

Routine and structure are great things, but sometimes life calls for a change up. For the sake of your sanity and that of your amazing kids, try something new tonight.

What are some ways you’ve spiced up an old routine to make it fun for everyone?

Featured photo credit: 137 – Look Up! / David D. via flickr.com

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Published on December 14, 2018

14 Helpful Tips for Single Parents: How to Stay Sane While Doing it All

14 Helpful Tips for Single Parents: How to Stay Sane While Doing it All

According to the U.S. Census Bureau, over 27% of children under the age of 18 are living with a single parent.[1] That’s over 1/4th of the U.S. population.There is a common misconception that children who grow up in single parent homes are not as successful as children living in two-parent homes.

One crucial detail that was often left out of studies when comparing single and two-parent homes was the stability of the household. There is a correlation between family structure and family stability, but this study shows that children who grow up in stable single-parent homes do as well as those in married households in terms of academic abilities and behavior.

But providing stability is easier said than done. With only one adult to act as a parent, some tasks are inherently more challenging. However, there are a few helpful things you can do to make the parenting journey a little easier for yourself and stay sane while doing it.

1. Don’t Neglect Self-Care

Before anything else can be done, you must be caring for your own needs adequately. Only when you are feeling well-rested and healthy can you be at your best for your children.

Many parents tend to put their kids’ needs first and their owns last, but that will result in a never-ending cycle of exhaustion and feelings of inadequacy. Make time to eat regularly and healthfully, get plenty of rest, and squeeze in exercise whenever you can. Even a short walk around the neighborhood will help your body get much-needed movement and fresh air.

Your children depend on you, and it’s up to you to make sure that you are well-equipped and ready to take on that responsibility.

2. Join Forces with Other Single Parents

At times, it may seem like you’re the only person who knows what it’s like to be a single parent. However, the statistics say that there are many others who know exactly what you’re going through.

Find single parents locally, through your kid’s school, extracurricular activities, or even an app. There are also numerous online communities that can offer support and advice, through Facebook or sites like Single Mom Nation.

Although single moms make up the majority of single parents, there are more than 2.6 million single dads in the U.S. A great way to connect is through Meetup. Other single parents will more than happy to arrange babysitting swaps, playdates, and carpools.

Join forces in order to form mutually beneficial relationships.

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3. Build a Community

In addition to finding support with other single parents, also build a community comprised of families of all different types. Rather than focus solely on the single parent aspect of your identity, look for parents and kids who share other things in common.

Join a playgroup, get plugged in at a church, or get to know the parents of the kids involved in the same extracurricular activities. Having a community of a variety of people and families will bring diversity and excitement into your and your kids’ lives.

4. Accept Help

Don’t try to be a superhero and do it all yourself. There are probably people in your life who care about you and your kids and want to help you. Let them know what types of things would be most appreciated, whether it’s bringing meals once a week, helping with rides to school, or giving you time to yourself.

There is no shame in asking for help and accepting assistance from loved ones. You will not be perceived as weak or incompetent. You are being a good parent by being resourceful and allowing others to give you a much-needed break.

5. Get Creative with Childcare

Raising a child on a single income is a challenge, with the high cost of daycares, nannies, and other conventional childcare services. More affordable options are possible if you go a less traditional route.

If you have space and live in a college town, offer a college student housing in exchange for regular childcare. Or swap kids with other single parents so that your kids have friends to play with while the parents get time to themselves.

When I was younger, my parents had a group of five family friends, and all of the children would rotate to a different house each day of the week, during the summer months. The kids would have a great time playing with each other, and the parents’ job becomes a lot easier. That’s what you would call a win-win situation.

6. Plan Ahead for Emergencies

As a single parent, a backup plan or two is a must in emergency situations. Make a list of people you know you can call in a moment’s notice. There will be times in which you need help, and it’s important to know ahead of time who you can rely on.

Look into whether or not your area offers emergency babysitting services or a drop-in daycare. Knowing who will be able to care for your child in the event of an emergency can relieve one potential source of anxiety in stressful situations.

7. Create a Routine

Routines are crucial for young children because knowing what to expect gives them a semblance of control. This is even more important when in a single parent home.

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If the child travels between homes or has multiple caretakers, life can seem extremely chaotic and unpredictable. Establish a routine and schedule for your child as much as possible. This can include bedtime, before/after school, chores, meal times, and even a weekend routine.

Having a routine does not mean things cannot change. It is merely a default schedule to fall back on when no additional events or activities are going on. When your children know what to expect, they will be less resistant because they know what to expect, and days will run much more smoothly.

8. Be Consistent with Rules and Discipline

If your child has multiple caretakers, such as another parent, grandparent, or babysitter, communicate clearly on how discipline will be handled. Talk to your ex, if you are sharing custody, as well as any other caretakers about the rules and the agreed-upon approach to discipline.

When a child realizes that certain rules can be bent with certain people, he/she will use it to their advantage, causing additional issues with limits, behavior, and discipline down the road.

This article may help you to discipline your child better:

How to Discipline a Child (The Complete Guide for Different Ages)

9. Stay Positive

Everyone has heard the saying, “Mind over matter.” But there really is so much power behind your mentality. It can change your perspective and make a difficult situation so much better.

Your kids will be able to detect even the smallest shift in your attitude. When the responsibilities of motherhood are overwhelming, stay focused on the positive things in your life, such as your friends and family. This will produce a much more stable home environment.

Maintain your sense of humor and don’t be afraid to be silly. Look towards the future and the great things that are still to come for you and your family. Rediscover and redefine your family values.

10. Move Past the Guilt

In a single parent home, it is impossible to act as both parents, regardless of how hard you try. Let go of the things that you cannot do as a single parent, and instead, think of the great things you ARE able to provide for your children.

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Leave behind the notion that life would be easier or better with two parents. This is simply not true. There is a multitude of pros and cons to all family dynamics, and the one you are providing for your kids now is the one that they need.

Don’t get bogged down by guilt or regret. Take control of your life and be the best parent you can by being present and engaged with them on a daily basis.

11. Answer Questions Honestly

Your kids may have questions about why their home situation is different from many of their friends. When asked, don’t sugarcoat the situation or give them an answer that is not accurate.

Depending on their age, take this opportunity to explain the truth of what happened and how the current circumstances came about. Not all families have two parents, whether that is due to divorce, death, or whatever else life brings.

Don’t give more detail than necessary or talk badly about the other parent. But strive to be truthful and honest. Your children will benefit more from your candor than a made-up story.

12. Treat Kids Like Kids

In the absence of a partner, it can be tempting to rely on your children for comfort, companionship, or sympathy. But your kids are not equipped to play this role for you.

There are many details within an adult relationship that children are not able to understand or process, and it will only cause confusion and resentment.

Do not take out your anger on your kids. Separate your emotional needs from your role as a mother. If you find yourself depending on your kids too much, look for adult friends or family members that you can talk to about your issues.

13. Find Role Models

Find positive role models of the opposite sex for your child. It’s crucial that your child does not form negative associations with an entire gender of people.

Find close friends or family members that would be willing to spend one-on-one time with your kids. Encourage them to form meaningful relationships with people that you trust and that they can look up to.

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Role models can make a huge difference in the path that a child decides to take, so be intentional about the ones that you put in your kids’ lives.

14. Be Affectionate and Give Praise

Your children need your affection and praise on a daily basis. Engage with your kids as often as possible by playing with them, going on outings, and encouraging open dialogue.

Affirm them in the things that they are doing well, no matter how small. Praise their efforts, rather than their achievements. This will inspire them to continue to put forth hard work and not give up when success is not achieved.

Rather than spending money on gifts, spend time and effort in making lasting memories.

Final Thoughts

Being a single parent is a challenging responsibility to take on. Without the help of a partner to fall back on, single parents have a lot more to take on.

However, studies show that growing up in a single parent home does not have a negative effect on achievement in school. As long as the family is a stable and safe environment, kids are able to excel and do well in life.

Use these tips in order to be a reliable and capable parent for your kids, while maintaining your own well-being and sanity.

More Resources About Parenting

Featured photo credit: Bruno Nascimento via unsplash.com

Reference

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