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Touching Other People Can Make You Healthier And More Successful, Study Finds

Touching Other People Can Make You Healthier And More Successful, Study Finds

In today’s world of technology and social media, often our connections are made through a screen rather than in person. This may have enabled us to connect at great distances and opened communication beyond timezones, but is the unintended consequence a loss of human physical touch, a vital connection for the health of humans?

“Connection is why we’re here it’s what gives us meaning and purpose in this life.” —  Brene Brown

Many positive psychology studies have shown people who feel a strong sense of connection have a greater sense of happiness. Our tactile system is important to our feelings of comfort and connection. In a blind study, it was shown that humans can recognize the emotion behind a touch. We can tell if a touch is delivered with compassion, joy, or anger. Without the use of touch accompanying our dialogue, we stand to lose out on this resource.

Some people instinctively touch more than others and we all respond differently to touch. How and why would we prioritize using this powerful sense to make us more attractive and successful?

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The Social Functions Of Touch

Touch:

  1. provides feelings of reward
  2. reinforces reciprocity
  3. signals safety
  4. soothes

Some fantastic studies concerning touch therapies have shown that touching premature babies actually aids in weight gain by 47%. Alzheimer patients have reduced incidence of depression with the use of touch. Touch by a teacher doubles the likelihood a child will choose to speak in class. Patients receiving touch therapy reported higher survival rates in the face of complex diseases.

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Josh Ackerman, a MIT psychologist, believes we understand the world through physical experiences with the primary sense being physical touch. He connects changes in peoples’ thoughts with different physical experiences. He recently published an article in Science Magazine about “embodied cognition,” a field of research that supports the concept of a mind-body connection. Ackerman’s studies attempt to link our physical sensations to our judgments and our social cognition.

Some of the outcomes have shown that kids are better at math when they use their hands while they’re thinking, actors can more easily recall their lines if they are able to move, and people are more generous after they’ve held a warm cup of coffee in their hands.

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Neuroscientist Edmund Ross has found that physical touch activates the orbitfrontal cortex of the brain, which is linked to feelings of reward and compassion.

Why Touch Matters

Touch is a language we instinctively know how to use. It is the first sense we develop and use to interpret incoming data. Touch increases the speed of communication—a touch soothes faster than words can form. Even fleeting contact with a stranger can have a measurable effect on both fostering and enhancing cooperation. Touch fosters a connection that sometimes leads to greater rewards.

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The Rules Of Touch

There are plenty of good reasons why people are inclined to keep their hands to themselves, especially in a society as litigious as ours. Fear of our touch being seen as sexual or taken as a sign of weakness are just two examples. According to the Touch Research Institute, when you stimulate the pressure receptors in the skin, you lower levels of stress hormones being released. So, how can we activate our sense of touch without offending others?

  • High fives and handshakes are acceptable at most workplaces and schools.
  • Ask before you hug.
  • A shoulder squeeze is acceptable with people you know.
  • Don’t assume it’s okay to pat a child on the head or to squeeze their cheeks—if you wouldn’t touch an adult that way, don’t touch a child that way.
  • In many sports, a slap on the butt is acceptable, but remember, not everyone plays sports. Keep this touch on the playing field.
  • Touching the arm of a lunch date is acceptable.
  • Avoid holding when you touch, this sense of being held can trigger the fight or flight response and increase anxiety in many people.

When in doubt, ask before you touch. Different cultures and countries have very different boundaries regarding touch, with warmer climates seeming to be more open to touching than cooler ones. North Americans lag way behind other cultures in their daily touch count.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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