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8 Ways To Change The World (That Really Work)

8 Ways To Change The World (That Really Work)

Many of us dream of changing the world from a very young age. We want to make a difference. Here’s 8 ways that will help you to achieve your dreams.

As you get older, that need to make that change usually becomes greater. Maybe you want to be a musician, tour the world and use your influence to give back. Or perhaps your goal is to start a company that will transform the business world or a non-profit that will end poverty. You might just want to help make some kind of positive change, whatever that looks like.

Big ideas are never easy to make reality. Changing the world doesn’t happen by accident. But achieving your dream will give you the greatest satisfaction you’ve ever felt. So here’s some advice to get you started.

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It Will Be Harder Than You Ever Imagined, But Still Worth It

This is not meant to bring you down, but to prepare you. It’s going to be harder than you think, it will cost more than you think and will take more time than you think. Be ready for that and you’ll be less likely to fail when the going gets tough. Don’t give up when things don’t happen quickly. Try not to overestimate what is reasonably achievable in the short term, but look more to what can be achieved through a life time of hard work and motivation.

Be Willing to Admit You Don’t Know It All

An up and coming ‘world changer’ should be humble and hungry. Humble enough to know that they don’t have it all figured out, still needing to ask plenty of questions and likely more wrong than right. But be hungry enough to break some rules, be bold and throw out tradition in service of chasing creative impulses wherever they might lead.

Listen to the stories of those around you, who share common goals. Identify the brokenness of our world so that you can be transformed through the stories of restoration and healing. Respond to the injustices of our world by working with others.

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Jon Foreman, lead singer of Christian rock band Switchfoot said, “In the effort to improve the art or craft of your work, don’t become so focused that you lose sight of the bigger picture: the humanity, the humour, the beauty, the pain of those around you”

Remember The Small Things, They Matter

Start from exactly where you are. You can’t change the world in a day, but there are small things that you can change. And small things add up. You might start off just doing something you’ve always wanted to – like a skydive, but for charity. This could lead to you organizing charity events with many people involved. And then before you know it, you’ve founded your own charity, supporting a cause that you feel passionately about. Don’t discount what you can do locally, regionally or for just one person. One random act of kindness can change the world for that one person. Every day you change the world. Even a lack of involvement is a decision with lasting ramifications. No matter who you are, your actions and thoughts every moment of every day have powerful implications for not only your life but the lives of others.

Allow Yourself To Grow

If you are going to help others then it is necessary for you to care for your own soul. Don’t overestimate your importance and take adequate time off. You are no use to the world if you are overtired, over-stressed and overrun. Discover yourself. Spend time alone. Turn off your phone and computer. Get involved with the messy humanity that lurks within and around you.

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Don’t Take On Too Much

Debbie Sterling, founder and CEO of GoldieBlox said, “Something I would have done differently is that I would have asked for more help from the start. I also thought, in the beginning, that [GoldieBlox] had to make a range of products. I had this idea that as a start-up, we had to work around the clock all the time until we were just about ready to drop. It spread my team really thin and wasn’t realistic.”

Instead of focusing on changing the world, focus on inner renewal, day by day. Set realistic goals and keep progressing all the time.

Never Be Afraid to Speak Up

One of the biggest challenges you might face is convincing other people to believe in your ideas. Constantly remind yourself to make your voice heard. It starts by speaking up in meetings and ends with going way outside of your comfort zone and establishing relationships with people you normally wouldn’t. Don’t sit on the sidelines. You have to get out there, make your own luck. See your dreams become a reality. You’re destined to succeed, if you believe your mission is greater than the company and you work hard toward that end. Put yourself out there in a big way and you’ll never be disappointed. You will find people who believe in your cause, and these are the people you want to be surrounded by in the long run.

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Don’t Worry Too Much About the Opinions and Expectations of Others

Don’t spend too much time obsessing over what others think about you. It is a waste of your energy and your assumptions about other people’s opinions will usually be wrong or irrelevant. It’s best not to guess at others’ thoughts, opinions and motivations and simply operate in love with all you encounter. Figuring this out will save you a lot of time and a lot of stress.

Let the Problems Lead to Change

Start by looking at what’s wrong and then figure out how to make things right. In particular, what most offends your sense of justice or breaks your heart? Where do you feel the pain of the world most passionately and personally? Once you discover that, find the other people who feel the same passion and pain for the same causes as you and work with them to make a difference.

This is how every movement for justice begins, and changing the world for the better really is as simple as that.

Featured photo credit: Boqlang Llao via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 15, 2019

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

How to Talk to Strangers Without Feeling Awkward

Many of us feel awkward talking to strangers. I’m a very outgoing person, even though I sometimes feel uncomfortable walking up to someone and asking a question or starting a conversation. I consider myself pretty high up on the extrovert meter. So what is it that makes us pause and become worried or anxious about talking to people we don’t know?

In this article, we will discuss why we feel this way as well as some tips on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Step right up, don’t be shy!

Why We Feel Awkward Talking to Strangers

The next time you feel uncomfortable talking to a stranger, tell yourself that’s completely normal. There are numerous reasons why it’s actually natural to feel awkward talking to strangers:

Our Stress Levels Rise Around Strangers

Numerous studies have show that our levels of cortisol go up when we are around strangers.[1] Cortisol is the hormone inside of us which produces stress responses.[2]
So there you go, right off the bat you can see part of your standard response to strangers is due to a chemical reaction!

A very interesting by product of increased cortisol is that it makes us less empathetic. More than likely this can be traced to our evolution. The increase in the cortisol and the corresponding decrease in empathy makes us want to stay away from strangers. We are biologically wired to feel concern around strangers.

Evolution Taught Us to Be Wary

Evolution has also taught us to be wary of strangers in general. Humans as a whole have spent a large chunk of their history banded together in small protective groups. We did this in order to help protect each other and maximize resources.

When you think about it in this context, outsiders to our small groups or strangers are considered potential threats. Fear of strangers is common across almost all human cultures.

Culturally Conditioned

We can also thank our society for helping us feel uncomfortable and sometimes afraid of strangers. The term “stranger danger” is something most of us can relate to either growing up or raising kids. Or both.

I remember hearing this from my parents, mostly about not getting in someone’s car I didn’t know. And as the father of 2 teenage girls, you can be sure I’ve talked to them about this very concept more times that they want to hear.

The thought that strangers can be dangerous is built into us as it is. Toss in the amplification of the media on strangers doing things such as kidnapping kids and it takes it to an even higher level.

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Now that we’ve reviewed some of the reasons why we are nervous, let’s look at why you should talk to strangers more.

Benefits of Getting over the Awkwardness

Let’s take a quick look at some of the advantages of how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward. These are some high level benefits of talking to strangers.

1. Broadens Your Network

After you talk to someone, you didn’t know previously they become someone you know at least a little bit. This alone helps broaden your network of people you know. This is helpful in many ways whether it is work related or socially related.

2. Improves Your Communication Skills

I am a huge proponent of the value of solid communication skills and have written about it often. The more you talk to people, especially people you don’t know, the better your communication skills become.

Interacting with a wider variety of people will bring the added benefit of improving your communication skills.

3. Continually Learning

So many of us don’t actively seek to learn new things. This is one of the primary keys to staying engaged in life and our own personal self fulfillment.

Almost every time I speak to someone I didn’t know previously, I’ve learned something new. When we speak to strangers, it pushes us out of our comfort zones and we tend to learn new things.

4. Increases Self Confidence

Every time we learn to do something we were previously anxious about, we feel better about ourselves.

Forcing ourselves to talk to strangers will lead to increased self confidence. As we get more and more comfortable doing something that previously made us feel awkward, our self confidence will go up and up.

So, how to talk to strangers to reap these benefits?

How to Talk to Strangers

Here are some tips to on how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

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1. Say Hello

Putting “say hello” first may seem a bit obvious but let’s take a deeper look. Much of the social awkwardness when speaking to strangers is simply breaking the ice. The first words that will engage someone.

Most people will respond when someone says hello or hi to them. And those that don’t, you probably don’t want to talk to anyway.

Practice being the person that opens the door to a conversation. Say hello.

2. Ask About Them

Something that I have noticed over the years is that people love to talk about themselves. Even fairly private people tend to open up when asked about events in their lives.

You can ask leading questions that get people to talk about themselves and recent events. Things like recent movies watched or the summer vacation are great to get someone talking.

As a father, I also know that people love to talk about their kids. Asking about kids is a fairly easy topic to bring up and in general, most people will expound upon all the great things their kids do or are involved with.

3. Just Do It

One of the biggest reasons we don’t do things we want to or know we should is because we overthink it. Quit thinking about it so much and just do it.

When you give yourself the time to analyze every little angle about a situation, you also give plenty of time to talk yourself out of it. You’ll wind up thinking what if this happens or what if that happens.

Try to force yourself to jump right in without thinking about it too much. Whenever I have done this, I always feel great about it afterwards, no matter how it turned out.

4. Don’t Take It Personal

One of the greatest lessons in life I ever learned was don’t take anything personally. We all go through life with our own sets of experiences and see things through our own lens. The way people react to different situations has almost nothing to do with us. It has to do with previous experiences and the way people feel about things other than us.

When someone’s reaction isn’t what you’d hoped or expected, chances are it has nothing to do with you. Remember that and keep it in context.

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5. Get a Chuckle If Possible

I used the word chuckle purposely because it makes me laugh. In my opinion, it’s one of those funny words. We all like to laugh because it makes us feel good. And when someone makes us laugh, we typically remember those people in a positive light.

One of the best ways to make a conversation easy and free flowing is to get some laughter going. It doesn’t mean you have to be the master joke teller or anything. See if you can work in a way to make the person you are talking to get a smile or some laughter in. In fact, laughing at yourself maybe a nice try.

6. Detach

A great feeling is when you don’t mind which way something turns out, that you will be fine no matter what happens. Kind of like when I watch my two favorite football teams play against each other. I don’t really care who wins, I just want a fun game.

Treat talking to strangers the same way. You don’t really care how the conversation goes because you are detaching from the outcome. Make it a fun time with yourself and if the conversation goes well, awesome! If not then no big deal, move on.

7. Share Your Stories

Well, all like to feel connected to other people. And many times we wind up hanging out with people that we have things in common with. No surprise here.

To help with how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward, tell stories that have commonalities with the person you are talking to. Kids are an easy one. I have a daughter who was a competitive cheerleader and now plays club volleyball. I have instant connection and stories with strangers I speak with who have kids that play sports. It’s easy to relate to.

So when you are speaking to a stranger and you have a story or mutual connection point, bring it up.

8. Give a Compliment

Almost everyone likes hearing a compliment, whether they admit to it or not. As a general rule, we don’t give out enough compliments. It’s amazing how one small remark someone tosses your way about how good you look can literally make your entire day.

When you are speaking with someone you don’t know, see if you can work a compliment in. Nothing creepy here. Not a good idea to tell someone you just met that they are the prettiest or handsomest person you ever met. However, if you can share how you like their tattoo or shoes or something like that, it will help put the conversation into an easy going, smiling place.

9. Relax Your Body Language

If you go into a situation all worried and nervous, it shows on your body. Your shoulders are tensed up, there’s a look of consternation on your face, things like that.

When you engage a stranger in conversation, make it a point to relax your body language. Take a deep breath before you engage the person, let your body relax, and put a smile on your face. This will help relax you and it has the added benefit of putting the other person more at ease.

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If they see that you are relaxed, it helps them relax. Plus having open, engaging body language is very conducive to inviting someone to open up into a conversation with you.

10. Practice, Practice, Practice

Like everything else in life, talking to strangers gets easier with practice. The more you do it, the easier it becomes.

Make it a point to talk to several strangers each week and it will definitely help you relax as you do it more and more.

After a while, it will become something you don’t even think about, you just do it. And that takes all of the awkwardness out of being in these type situations.

The Bottom Line

As we have seen, it is perfectly natural to feel awkward talking to strangers. We are biologically built that way and we have our own society constantly warning us how dangerous it is. It’s no wonder we feel awkward talking to strangers!

There are numerous benefits to learning to be more comfortable talking to strangers. See if you can employ some of the techniques mentioned to learn how to talk to strangers without feeling awkward.

Once you start practicing speaking with strangers more often and utilizing some of the tips, you will become more comfortable doing so. This in turn will lead to a learned new skill and increased self confidence.

Remember, everyone you know was a stranger at one time. Now get out there and make some new friends.

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Featured photo credit: Priscilla Du Preez via unsplash.com

Reference

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