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Kids Are Making A Difference In The World: The Real Story Of Gabriel

Kids Are Making A Difference In The World: The Real Story Of Gabriel

Our world is full of intrigue, deceit, and broken promises. It is merely the nature of things, nothing personal. Grand undertakings often hold dirty little secrets underneath the surface, and promises of happiness and betterment end up being yet another strategy for the powerful few to gain riches at the expense of others.

These words may have a somewhat somber tone and seem pessimistic, but I assure you that the story we are about to tell, the story of young Gabriel, shines a light of hope.

To understand who a single person, and a child at that, can truly make a difference in the war against greed and corporate apathy, we must travel back to 2014, the year when the FIFA World Cup was held in Brazil.

The World Cup and Brazil’s Impressive Football Heritage

Football, or soccer for all the American readers, is a huge deal for every man, woman and child in Brazil, the nation that boasts 5 World Cup wins, so you can imagine that everyone was ecstatic when news about their country hosting the tournament broke out.

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New stadiums where scheduled to be built and new railroads would help transport the population from outside the major urban areas to these glorious stadiums, so that everyone could witness their team going against the toughest opponents on the path to victory and honor. Yes, such is the fervor with which Brazilians, and most nations across the globe celebrate their football heroes – ranking high earns a country a lot of respect worldwide, and sparks up national pride.

However, as Gabriel and his friends and neighbors soon realized, all this exposure and prestige comes at a cost and, ironically, it is not those with an overabundance of wealth to give that are expected to pay the price.

Gabriel’s Poor Neighbourhood Was to Be Demolished

This 14 year old Brazilian boy didn’t have much in the way of riches, but he had a loving family, warm and hospitable neighbors, loyal friends and an intelligent and creative mind. Gabriel and his friends were shocked to hear that over 200 homes were scheduled to be demolished to make way for the railroad that would take zealous foreigners and well-off folks from the cities to the stadiums, and those who were going to be forced to move and have their neighborhoods destroyed could not even afford to buy tickets.

The worst thing is that whole communities and families would be torn apart, the children would have their local football court demolished and old friends would no longer be able run, laugh and play a few games of football together on those warm weekend afternoons. However, Gabriel wasn’t just going to stand by and let some rich old men deny him his right to a fulfilling childhood.

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The Blog that was Mightier than the Sword

Instead of idly standing by, Gabriel took a camera and went around the neighborhood, documenting the damage that these supposedly glamorous efforts to show off in front of the world had really done to the hard-working low-income Brazilian neighborhoods. He and his friends showed their disdain for the flawed system as they played football on the concrete blocks that had replaced their football field, and ran around the railway tracks that had cut through their neighborhood.

The people were lively and kind-hearted, they still enjoyed watching the games and rooting for their countrymen on the TV the big games unfolded miles away. The children were all of firm spirit – they laughed, they played football, they teased each other and had fun amidst the building material. All of this went on Gabriel’s blog, and he showcased the true nature of these people, and the effects that this clumsy demolition project had on the community.

There was no Hollywood magic, no marketing ploy, no privileged rich white celebrity doing a tear-jerking voice over – these were proud people, good, intelligent and mentally strong children who just wanted the world to understand what was happening under everyone’s noses, so that something could be done about it.

The efforts of local children helped open the world’s eyes

Gabriel interviewed, among others, a brave young boy named Wesley, who had started a project to help the local kids. It is a very memorable experience, to see this little boy talking about all the problems like crime and drugs, his brother’s death being a result of drug abuse, and how the government should have invested more money into building up these communities and providing the children with football fields, better education, fixing the sewage problems.

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The boy is young, but Wesley’s eyes glimmer with a wisdom of someone four times his age, and his eloquence is born out of experience and a grim determination to improve the lives of his friends and neighbors. He organized regular football practice on a humble local playground and tried to use sport as a means of keeping kids on the right path.

Taking a page out of Wesley’s book, Gabriel organized local events for the kids, where they could watch, movies, eat popcorn and have fun for free, so that they didn’t have to turn to the violent and self-destructive lifestyle that so many people in these neighborhoods end up turning to.

The Lesson that Gabriel has Taught Us

It is too often that we see children from poor neighborhoods in developing countries get denied some of the basic children’s rights that people in the West all take for granted. It’s not just about Brazil and a single event like the FIFA World Cup, in countries like India a lot of children simply do not receive the adequate quality of education that would allow them to choose a different path, make a career for themselves, break the cycle of poverty and give back to their community.

Among these children there are talented storytellers and bloggers like Gabriel, gifted athletes, young scientists and doctors, creative artists and savvy businessmen – they just need to be allowed to express themselves, find their calling in life and attain their true potential. We would be wise to spend more time talking to our children and actually listening to what they have to say. Children can take initiative and they don’t always need someone else to tell them what’s best for them.

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Because the youngsters of the world see things for what they truly are, unburdened by politics and hidden interests, they can often point us to what is really wrong with the system, and help us take steps to fix these problems.

Featured photo credit: Gabriel_mic_1000 via elsvandriel.nl

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Published on January 30, 2019

How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

In roughly 60 percent of two-parent households with children under the age of 18, both parents work full time. But who takes time off work when the kids are sick in your house? And if you are a manager, how do you react when a man says he needs time to take his baby to the pediatrician?

The sad truth is, the default in many companies and families is to value the man’s work over the woman’s—even when there is no significant difference in their professional obligations or compensation. This translates into stereotypes in the workplace that women are the primary caregivers, which can negatively impact women’s success on the job and their upward mobility.

According to a Pew Research Center analysis of long-term time-use data (1965–2011), fathers in dual-income couples devote significantly less time than mothers do to child care.[1] Dads are doing more than twice as much housework as they used to (from an average of about four hours per week to about 10 hours), but there is still a significant imbalance.

This is not just an issue between spouses; it’s a workplace culture issue. In many offices, it is still taboo for dads to openly express that they have family obligations that need their attention. In contrast, the assumption that moms will be on the front lines of any family crisis is one that runs deep.

Consider an example from my company. A few years back, one of our team members joined us for an off-site meeting soon after returning from maternity leave. Not even two hours into her trip, her husband called to say that the baby had been crying nonstop. While there was little our colleague could practically do to help with the situation, this call was clearly unsettling, and the result was that her attention was divided for the rest of an important business dinner.

This was her first night away since the baby’s birth, and I know that her spouse had already been on several business trips before this event. Yet, I doubt she called him during his conferences to ask child-care questions. Like so many moms everywhere, she was expected to figure things out on her own.

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The numbers show that this story is far from the exception. In another Pew survey, 47 percent of dual-income parents agreed that the moms take on more of the work when a child gets sick.[2] In addition, 39 percent of working mothers said they had taken a significant amount of time off from work to care for their child compared to just 24 percent of working fathers. Mothers are also more likely than fathers (27 percent to 10 percent) to say they had quit their job at some point for family reasons.

Before any amazing stay-at-home-dads post an angry rebuttal comment, I want to be very clear that I am not judging how families choose to divide and conquer their personal and professional responsibilities; that’s 100 percent their prerogative. Rather, I am taking aim at the culture of inequity that persists even when spouses have similar or identical professional responsibilities. This is an important issue for all of us because we are leaving untapped business and human potential on the table.

What’s more, I think my fellow men can do a lot about this. For those out there who still privately think that being a good dad just means helping out mom, it’s time to man up. Stop expecting working partners—who have similar professional responsibilities—to bear the majority of the child-care responsibilities as well.

Consider these ways to support your working spouse:

1. Have higher expectations for yourself as a father; you are a parent, not a babysitter.

Know who your pediatrician is and how to reach him or her. Have a back-up plan for transportation and emergency coverage.

Don’t simply expect your partner to manage all these invisible tasks on her own. Parenting takes effort and preparation for the unexpected.

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As in other areas of life, the way to build confidence is to learn by doing. Moms aren’t born knowing how to do this stuff any more than dads are.

2. Treat your partner the way you’d want to be treated.

I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard a man on a business trip say to his wife on a call something to the effect of, “I am in the middle of a meeting. What do you want me to do about it?”

However, when the tables are turned, men often make that same call at the first sign of trouble.

Distractions like this make it difficult to focus and engage with work, which perpetuates the stereotype that working moms aren’t sufficiently committed.

When you’re in charge of the kids, do what she would do: Figure it out.

3. When you need to take care of your kids, don’t make an excuse that revolves around your partner’s availability.

This implies that the children are her first priority and your second.

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I admit I have been guilty in the past of telling clients, “I have the kids today because my wife had something she could not move.” What I should have said was, “I’m taking care of my kids today.”

Why is it so hard for men to admit they have personal responsibilities? Remember that you are setting an example for your sons and daughters, and do the right thing.

4. As a manager, be supportive of both your male and female colleagues when unexpected situations arise at home.

No one likes or wants disruptions, but life happens, and everyone will face a day when the troubling phone call comes from his sitter, her school nurse, or even elderly parents.

Accommodating personal needs is not a sign of weakness as a leader. Employees will be more likely to do great work if they know that you care about their personal obligations and family—and show them that you care about your own.

5. Don’t keep score or track time.

At home, it’s juvenile to get into debates about who last changed a diaper or did the dishes; everyone needs to contribute, but the big picture is what matters. Is everyone healthy and getting enough sleep? Are you enjoying each other’s company?

In business, too, avoid the trap of punching a clock. The focus should be on outcomes and performance rather than effort and inputs. That’s the way to maintain momentum toward overall goals.

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The Bottom Line

To be clear, I recognize that a great many working dads are doing a terrific job both on the home front and in their professional lives. My concern is that these standouts often aren’t visible to their colleagues; they intentionally or inadvertently let their work as parents fly under the radar. Dads need to be open and honest about family responsibilities to change perceptions in the workplace.

The question “How do you balance it all?” should not be something that’s just asked of women. Frankly, no one can answer that question. Juggling a career and parental responsibilities is tough. At times, really tough.

But it’s something that more parents should be doing together, as a team. This can be a real bonus for the couple relationship as well, because nothing gets in the way of good partnership faster than feelings of inequity.

On the plus side, I can tell you that parenting skills really do get better with practice—and that’s great for people of both sexes. I think our cultural expectations that women are the “nurturers” and men are the “providers” needs to evolve. Expanding these definitions will open the doors to richer contributions from everyone, because women can and should be both—and so should men.

Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

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