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What Do Kids Really Think About Marriage?

What Do Kids Really Think About Marriage?

Whatever your views on marriage, you cannot get away from the fact that kids are in the front line and then some! Did you know that almost half of the firstborns today in the USA are born to unwed mothers? You may also be shocked to learn that by the time they are 16, about 50% of American kids will have to experience their parents’ divorce. That is about I million children a year.

Whether parents cohabit, marry, or divorce, the kids are always altered, for better or for worse. So, let us ask the kids what they think of marriage. Maybe they can teach us a few things about this institution because kids can be intuitive, perceptive, wise or naïve. It is fascinating to hear what their impressions are.

On Dedication

Marriage thrives on the couple having independent satisfying lives, according to all the marriage counselors out there. But you can have too much of a good thing because too much independence can lead to infidelity or being a workaholic. Perhaps kids realize what the warning signs are, such as:

“Don’t forget your wife’s name. That will mess up the love.” Erin, age 8

On Praise

“Tell your wife that she looks pretty, even if she looks like a truck.” – Ricky, age 10

Spouses love being appreciated and given compliments on their talents, accomplishments and appearance. Who doesn’t like to be praised for how they look?

On Love and Children

“Lovers will just be staring at each other and their food will get cold. Other people care more about the food.” – Brad, age 8

Married couples are easily recognized. Usually, the loving glances and the affectionate arm holding as they walk the mall, make them easy to spot.

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“We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.” – Henny Youngman

But what happens when discipline problems rear their ugly heads and kids get out of control?

“You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.” – Derrick, age 8

How do couples end up married?

“Before you marry a person, you should first make them use a computer with slow Internet to see who they really are.”- Will Ferrell

This question is an easy one for the adults to answer. Opposites attract or we end up with people who look like and behave just like us. Remember how you thought that your parents were just meant for each other? Some kids go a bit further and say it was all decided a long time ago!

“No person really decides before they grow up who they’re going to marry. God decides it all way before and you get to find out later who you’re stuck with.” – Kristen, age 10

Divorce has profound effects on the kids

It is heart wrenching to watch the video below as children describe what they went through when their parents divorced. It is startling to realize how sensitive and perceptive the kids are as to what is happening around them, even when their parents refuse to tell them anything. They also take on the stoical role so as to protect the parents from the extra burden of worrying about them. Shouldn’t it be the other way around?

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Kids’ views on marriage in general

As the discussions widen to include gay marriage, Jimmy Kimmel wanted to find out what kids think of that and also marriage in general. The responses here are surprisingly savvy. It seems that the worries about having to explain equal marriage to kids is unfounded. They seem to be well ahead of the game.

I love it when the kids who is asked “when is a good time to get married’” replies “in the afternoon.” It is also interesting to realize that many kids see that marriage is not always a picnic.

“It gives me a headache to think about that stuff. I’m just a kid. I don’t need that kind of trouble.” – Kenny, age 7

Featured photo credit: A family gathered in the kitchen at home looking at photographs/ Personal Creations via flickr.com

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Robert Locke

Author of Ziger the Tiger Stories, a health enthusiast specializing in relationships, life improvement and mental health.

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Last Updated on September 17, 2019

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

10 Simple Ways To Always Think Positive Thoughts

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

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Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

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Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

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9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

More About Staying Positive

Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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