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What Kids Really Think About Social Media

What Kids Really Think About Social Media

Since the dawn of mankind, humans have mused over the idea of immortality. Through technology and social media we have to some extent achieved this quest through our ability to capture every moment of our existence and immortalize it in a digital world. The digital landscape and social media has become part of our everyday lives. One stats site shows that as of the third quarter of 2015, Facebook had 1.55 billion monthly active users, Twitter had 307 million, and Instagram 400 million. While there are many studies, articles and expert opinions about social media and it’s impact on our daily lives, sometimes it is the perspectives of the most uninhibited, straight-talking members of the human race that gives us the most refreshing insights. So what do kids really think about social media? We round up quotes from children from toddler to teens from various interviews across the web:

“Being social without being social”

This is probably the most profound answer one tween gave when he was asked what he thought social media was. While it does provide us a way to connect and share with people we don’t necessarily have time to engage with face-to-face on a daily basis, the reality is that these connections are very superficial. According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, the simple definition of social is:

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“relating to or involving activities in which people spend time talking to each other or doing enjoyable things with each other”

On social media we don’t talk to each other, we talk at each other, and instead of doing enjoyable things with each other, we post about the enjoyable things we are doing in the presence of others. Rather than enjoying the moment, we are constantly fretting about capturing the moment to share on social media. As one kid put it, “Adults usually post pictures and stuff and see what others are doing”.

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“It’s more of a distraction”

using a smartphone while walking

    We fool ourselves into thinking that we are multi-tasking, when in truth social media distracts us from what is happening in real time. According to one report, the average American spends an average of 3+ hours per day on social networks. That is a significant amount of time when you factor in hours spent at work or school, hours for sleep, and for self-care activities. From a kids perspective, social media may be distracting parents from having meaningful conversations with their kids, or giving their kids undivided attention when being shown the latest art creation.

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    “It’s some filtered/altered/handpicked highlight”

    This is how one 13-year-old described his understanding of social media. We use these networks to portray snippets of our daily lives and we think we are keeping up to date with what is happening in others’ lives. But these snapshots can never convey the true essence of someone’s life. In the end, what we choose to share is a post-production edited version of our lives. Many parents, myself included, post pictures of our kids on social media, but what do the kids think of this. When asked, “What do you think when your parents share pictures of you on Facebook?”, the young boy replied, “That’s creepy”.

    “It’s kinda the way to find stuff out”

    In the digital age, news agency are no longer the source of breaking news. Often, we hear about major events in our community or even the world via social media before the age old news broadcasters. But we also learn about the more mundane stuff, like the fact that your friend from kindergarten who you haven’t seen in 20 years had bran for breakfast this morning. As one little boy asked in an interview with comedian Mark Malkoff, “Why does, my mum take pictures of her breakfast and put them on Facebook?”, while another little boy notes, “People write about all their personal business”.

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    “Do you really have 3000 friends?”

    One study suggests that social media is affecting our concepts of friendship and intimacy, because of the sense of community we experience in the virtual world even though it is void of personal contact and interaction. When the comedian Mark shows his Facebook profile to one of the kids he asks, “Do you really have 3000 friends?”, and when Mark says yes the boy shouts out, “Liar!”. While humorous it really reflects reality. The average Facebook user has about 300 ‘friends’, but are these really friends? Do we really need to be sharing so much of our lives with so many people at once? As one teenager aptly put it, it’s more “like an awkward family dinner we can’t really leave”.  In support of the study, one 11-year-old boy said about social media, “When I grow up I want to be friends with everyone on Facebook”.

    Responsible use

    I am not trying to demonize social media, because, well frankly, people who live in glass houses shouldn’t throw stones. This is more of a refection on the realities of social media use and that perhaps we need to be more cognizant of our social media-life balance. I propose that we just try to be more mindful of the time we spend on social media and how we are experiencing our daily lives, and just have fun with it. And we don’t recommend you follow the advice of one toddler who, when Mark asked him what he thought Mark should post on Facebook exclaimed, “Your butt!”. Let the motto: EXPERIENCE NOW, SHARE LATER be your guide. If you are finding it particularly hard to be ‘unplugged’ you can read this great post by fellow Lifehack writer on managing social media addiction.

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    Published on January 30, 2019

    How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

    How to Support a Working Mother as a Working Father

    In roughly 60 percent of two-parent households with children under the age of 18, both parents work full time. But who takes time off work when the kids are sick in your house? And if you are a manager, how do you react when a man says he needs time to take his baby to the pediatrician?

    The sad truth is, the default in many companies and families is to value the man’s work over the woman’s—even when there is no significant difference in their professional obligations or compensation. This translates into stereotypes in the workplace that women are the primary caregivers, which can negatively impact women’s success on the job and their upward mobility.

    According to a Pew Research Center analysis of long-term time-use data (1965–2011), fathers in dual-income couples devote significantly less time than mothers do to child care.[1] Dads are doing more than twice as much housework as they used to (from an average of about four hours per week to about 10 hours), but there is still a significant imbalance.

    This is not just an issue between spouses; it’s a workplace culture issue. In many offices, it is still taboo for dads to openly express that they have family obligations that need their attention. In contrast, the assumption that moms will be on the front lines of any family crisis is one that runs deep.

    Consider an example from my company. A few years back, one of our team members joined us for an off-site meeting soon after returning from maternity leave. Not even two hours into her trip, her husband called to say that the baby had been crying nonstop. While there was little our colleague could practically do to help with the situation, this call was clearly unsettling, and the result was that her attention was divided for the rest of an important business dinner.

    This was her first night away since the baby’s birth, and I know that her spouse had already been on several business trips before this event. Yet, I doubt she called him during his conferences to ask child-care questions. Like so many moms everywhere, she was expected to figure things out on her own.

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    The numbers show that this story is far from the exception. In another Pew survey, 47 percent of dual-income parents agreed that the moms take on more of the work when a child gets sick.[2] In addition, 39 percent of working mothers said they had taken a significant amount of time off from work to care for their child compared to just 24 percent of working fathers. Mothers are also more likely than fathers (27 percent to 10 percent) to say they had quit their job at some point for family reasons.

    Before any amazing stay-at-home-dads post an angry rebuttal comment, I want to be very clear that I am not judging how families choose to divide and conquer their personal and professional responsibilities; that’s 100 percent their prerogative. Rather, I am taking aim at the culture of inequity that persists even when spouses have similar or identical professional responsibilities. This is an important issue for all of us because we are leaving untapped business and human potential on the table.

    What’s more, I think my fellow men can do a lot about this. For those out there who still privately think that being a good dad just means helping out mom, it’s time to man up. Stop expecting working partners—who have similar professional responsibilities—to bear the majority of the child-care responsibilities as well.

    Consider these ways to support your working spouse:

    1. Have higher expectations for yourself as a father; you are a parent, not a babysitter.

    Know who your pediatrician is and how to reach him or her. Have a back-up plan for transportation and emergency coverage.

    Don’t simply expect your partner to manage all these invisible tasks on her own. Parenting takes effort and preparation for the unexpected.

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    As in other areas of life, the way to build confidence is to learn by doing. Moms aren’t born knowing how to do this stuff any more than dads are.

    2. Treat your partner the way you’d want to be treated.

    I can’t tell you the number of times I’ve heard a man on a business trip say to his wife on a call something to the effect of, “I am in the middle of a meeting. What do you want me to do about it?”

    However, when the tables are turned, men often make that same call at the first sign of trouble.

    Distractions like this make it difficult to focus and engage with work, which perpetuates the stereotype that working moms aren’t sufficiently committed.

    When you’re in charge of the kids, do what she would do: Figure it out.

    3. When you need to take care of your kids, don’t make an excuse that revolves around your partner’s availability.

    This implies that the children are her first priority and your second.

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    I admit I have been guilty in the past of telling clients, “I have the kids today because my wife had something she could not move.” What I should have said was, “I’m taking care of my kids today.”

    Why is it so hard for men to admit they have personal responsibilities? Remember that you are setting an example for your sons and daughters, and do the right thing.

    4. As a manager, be supportive of both your male and female colleagues when unexpected situations arise at home.

    No one likes or wants disruptions, but life happens, and everyone will face a day when the troubling phone call comes from his sitter, her school nurse, or even elderly parents.

    Accommodating personal needs is not a sign of weakness as a leader. Employees will be more likely to do great work if they know that you care about their personal obligations and family—and show them that you care about your own.

    5. Don’t keep score or track time.

    At home, it’s juvenile to get into debates about who last changed a diaper or did the dishes; everyone needs to contribute, but the big picture is what matters. Is everyone healthy and getting enough sleep? Are you enjoying each other’s company?

    In business, too, avoid the trap of punching a clock. The focus should be on outcomes and performance rather than effort and inputs. That’s the way to maintain momentum toward overall goals.

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    The Bottom Line

    To be clear, I recognize that a great many working dads are doing a terrific job both on the home front and in their professional lives. My concern is that these standouts often aren’t visible to their colleagues; they intentionally or inadvertently let their work as parents fly under the radar. Dads need to be open and honest about family responsibilities to change perceptions in the workplace.

    The question “How do you balance it all?” should not be something that’s just asked of women. Frankly, no one can answer that question. Juggling a career and parental responsibilities is tough. At times, really tough.

    But it’s something that more parents should be doing together, as a team. This can be a real bonus for the couple relationship as well, because nothing gets in the way of good partnership faster than feelings of inequity.

    On the plus side, I can tell you that parenting skills really do get better with practice—and that’s great for people of both sexes. I think our cultural expectations that women are the “nurturers” and men are the “providers” needs to evolve. Expanding these definitions will open the doors to richer contributions from everyone, because women can and should be both—and so should men.

    Featured photo credit: NeONBRAND via unsplash.com

    Reference

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