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People With Certain Pathological Personalities Are More Attractive, Study Finds

People With Certain Pathological Personalities Are More Attractive, Study Finds

Ever wonder why you see someone who is totally out of their mind wind up with an intense, passionate lover who would walk to the ends of the earth to make them happy? Meanwhile, someone who seems to have their life together and behave in a totally normal, rational and controlled way is utterly unable to find a lasting partnership or even a short-term fling?

This is actually a common trend in society. The wild, out of control or stereotypically “crazy” person winds up with a flock of people pursuing them while the straight-laced, “boring” person goes through the motions of life, only to wind up sad and alone, wondering where they went wrong.

Think about it: have you ever known someone who has everything you want in a person on paper, but you just don’t feel that instinctual, overpowering urge of attraction toward them?

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Why Does “Mr. Wrong” Feel Oh So Right?

There might be a reason for this backed by science. According to a study published online in the October 23rd issue of Evolution & Human Behavior,  people with more extreme personality traits – who are more prone to being super anxious, extreme and intense – were shown to be more attractive than a typical, less extreme person.

You read that right – neurotic, intense, anxious people… people that might be called “crazy” were actually found to be more attractive than other, more “normal” people. Surprising, right? You won’t believe what else researchers found.

In fact, “Results show that people with some pathological personality types, such as those considered neurotic and impulsive, had more mates and even more children than average,” according to the Scientific American.

That means that crazy, neurotic, pathological people are actually having more partners and more children than people with more normal personalities.

In addition, “The study results also revealed that neurotic females were more likely to be in lasting relationships. The most neurotic female participants had 34 percent more long-term mates and 73 percent more children than average despite exhibiting a trait typically associated with instability, anxiousness and insecurity.”

“Neurotic Women Are More Likely To Be In Lasting Relationships”

This also applies to people who take extreme risks. They are thought to attract more short-term flings. Think about “that guy” who skydives or goes rock climbing or “that guy” who parties all night and exhibits some self-destructive behavior and even dates multiple women at once… who women are unexplainably attracted to. Why does this happen?

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According to Fernando Gutiérrez, involved with the Hospital Clinic of Barcelona, who led the study, the reason people are instinctually more attracted to people who take extreme risks and are impulsive is because they are thought to be intriguing and fascinating.

“While they are selfish, rule-breaking, imprudent and rebellious, they are also brave, temerarious, independent and self-reliant – and they live frantic, galvanizing lives,” he says. This could send off “a signal that the subject has such good genetic quality and condition as to live dangerously without suffering harm,” he continues.

Living Dangerously Can Be Attractive Indeed

So if you’re a woman who has unexplainable panic attacks and is lost on how to make a man commit or if you’re a man who has a tendency to turn toward extreme behavior or live in a world of unbearable OCD marked with neurotic tendencies, it might actually be something that’ll make you more attractive. It’s crazy, but true.

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Or if you are someone who goes out of your way to control yourself, not say things you want to say in fear that people will perceive you in a negative way, perhaps it’s time to free yourself form this roadblock and be bold, let yourself have fun and say things that you might be afraid to say.

Featured photo credit: Angelica/Daniele Zedda via flickr.com

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Nick Bastion

Love Expert, Relationship Coach, Author

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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