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People With Certain Pathological Personalities Are More Attractive, Study Finds

People With Certain Pathological Personalities Are More Attractive, Study Finds

Ever wonder why you see someone who is totally out of their mind wind up with an intense, passionate lover who would walk to the ends of the earth to make them happy? Meanwhile, someone who seems to have their life together and behave in a totally normal, rational and controlled way is utterly unable to find a lasting partnership or even a short-term fling?

This is actually a common trend in society. The wild, out of control or stereotypically “crazy” person winds up with a flock of people pursuing them while the straight-laced, “boring” person goes through the motions of life, only to wind up sad and alone, wondering where they went wrong.

Think about it: have you ever known someone who has everything you want in a person on paper, but you just don’t feel that instinctual, overpowering urge of attraction toward them?

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Why Does “Mr. Wrong” Feel Oh So Right?

There might be a reason for this backed by science. According to a study published online in the October 23rd issue of Evolution & Human Behavior,  people with more extreme personality traits – who are more prone to being super anxious, extreme and intense – were shown to be more attractive than a typical, less extreme person.

You read that right – neurotic, intense, anxious people… people that might be called “crazy” were actually found to be more attractive than other, more “normal” people. Surprising, right? You won’t believe what else researchers found.

In fact, “Results show that people with some pathological personality types, such as those considered neurotic and impulsive, had more mates and even more children than average,” according to the Scientific American.

That means that crazy, neurotic, pathological people are actually having more partners and more children than people with more normal personalities.

In addition, “The study results also revealed that neurotic females were more likely to be in lasting relationships. The most neurotic female participants had 34 percent more long-term mates and 73 percent more children than average despite exhibiting a trait typically associated with instability, anxiousness and insecurity.”

“Neurotic Women Are More Likely To Be In Lasting Relationships”

This also applies to people who take extreme risks. They are thought to attract more short-term flings. Think about “that guy” who skydives or goes rock climbing or “that guy” who parties all night and exhibits some self-destructive behavior and even dates multiple women at once… who women are unexplainably attracted to. Why does this happen?

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According to Fernando Gutiérrez, involved with the Hospital Clinic of Barcelona, who led the study, the reason people are instinctually more attracted to people who take extreme risks and are impulsive is because they are thought to be intriguing and fascinating.

“While they are selfish, rule-breaking, imprudent and rebellious, they are also brave, temerarious, independent and self-reliant – and they live frantic, galvanizing lives,” he says. This could send off “a signal that the subject has such good genetic quality and condition as to live dangerously without suffering harm,” he continues.

Living Dangerously Can Be Attractive Indeed

So if you’re a woman who has unexplainable panic attacks and is lost on how to make a man commit or if you’re a man who has a tendency to turn toward extreme behavior or live in a world of unbearable OCD marked with neurotic tendencies, it might actually be something that’ll make you more attractive. It’s crazy, but true.

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Or if you are someone who goes out of your way to control yourself, not say things you want to say in fear that people will perceive you in a negative way, perhaps it’s time to free yourself form this roadblock and be bold, let yourself have fun and say things that you might be afraid to say.

Featured photo credit: Angelica/Daniele Zedda via flickr.com

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Nick Bastion

Love Expert, Relationship Coach, Author

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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