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People With Certain Pathological Personalities Are More Attractive, Study Finds

People With Certain Pathological Personalities Are More Attractive, Study Finds

Ever wonder why you see someone who is totally out of their mind wind up with an intense, passionate lover who would walk to the ends of the earth to make them happy? Meanwhile, someone who seems to have their life together and behave in a totally normal, rational and controlled way is utterly unable to find a lasting partnership or even a short-term fling?

This is actually a common trend in society. The wild, out of control or stereotypically “crazy” person winds up with a flock of people pursuing them while the straight-laced, “boring” person goes through the motions of life, only to wind up sad and alone, wondering where they went wrong.

Think about it: have you ever known someone who has everything you want in a person on paper, but you just don’t feel that instinctual, overpowering urge of attraction toward them?

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Why Does “Mr. Wrong” Feel Oh So Right?

There might be a reason for this backed by science. According to a study published online in the October 23rd issue of Evolution & Human Behavior,  people with more extreme personality traits – who are more prone to being super anxious, extreme and intense – were shown to be more attractive than a typical, less extreme person.

You read that right – neurotic, intense, anxious people… people that might be called “crazy” were actually found to be more attractive than other, more “normal” people. Surprising, right? You won’t believe what else researchers found.

In fact, “Results show that people with some pathological personality types, such as those considered neurotic and impulsive, had more mates and even more children than average,” according to the Scientific American.

That means that crazy, neurotic, pathological people are actually having more partners and more children than people with more normal personalities.

In addition, “The study results also revealed that neurotic females were more likely to be in lasting relationships. The most neurotic female participants had 34 percent more long-term mates and 73 percent more children than average despite exhibiting a trait typically associated with instability, anxiousness and insecurity.”

“Neurotic Women Are More Likely To Be In Lasting Relationships”

This also applies to people who take extreme risks. They are thought to attract more short-term flings. Think about “that guy” who skydives or goes rock climbing or “that guy” who parties all night and exhibits some self-destructive behavior and even dates multiple women at once… who women are unexplainably attracted to. Why does this happen?

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According to Fernando Gutiérrez, involved with the Hospital Clinic of Barcelona, who led the study, the reason people are instinctually more attracted to people who take extreme risks and are impulsive is because they are thought to be intriguing and fascinating.

“While they are selfish, rule-breaking, imprudent and rebellious, they are also brave, temerarious, independent and self-reliant – and they live frantic, galvanizing lives,” he says. This could send off “a signal that the subject has such good genetic quality and condition as to live dangerously without suffering harm,” he continues.

Living Dangerously Can Be Attractive Indeed

So if you’re a woman who has unexplainable panic attacks and is lost on how to make a man commit or if you’re a man who has a tendency to turn toward extreme behavior or live in a world of unbearable OCD marked with neurotic tendencies, it might actually be something that’ll make you more attractive. It’s crazy, but true.

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Or if you are someone who goes out of your way to control yourself, not say things you want to say in fear that people will perceive you in a negative way, perhaps it’s time to free yourself form this roadblock and be bold, let yourself have fun and say things that you might be afraid to say.

Featured photo credit: Angelica/Daniele Zedda via flickr.com

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Nick Bastion

Love Expert, Relationship Coach, Author

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Last Updated on November 15, 2018

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

Success In Reaching Goals Is Determined By Mindset

What do you think it takes to achieve your goals? Hard work? Lots of actions? While these are paramount to becoming successful in reaching our goals, neither of these are possible without a positive mindset.

As humans, we naturally tend to lean towards a negative outlook when it comes to our hopes and dreams. We are prone to believing that we have limitations either from within ourselves or from external forces keeping us from truly getting to where we want to be in life. Our tendency to think that we’ll “believe it when we see it” suggests that our mindsets are focused on our goals not really being attainable until they’ve been achieved. The problem with this is that this common mindset fuels our limiting beliefs and shows a lack of faith in ourselves.

The Success Mindset

Success in achieving our goals comes down to a ‘success mindset’. Successful mindsets are those focused on victory, based on positive mental attitudes, empowering inclinations and good habits. Acquiring a success mindset is the sure-fire way to dramatically increase your chance to achieve your goals.

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The idea that achieving our goals comes down to our habits and actions is actually a typical type of mindset that misses a crucial point; that our mindset is, in fact, the determiner of our energy and what actions we take. A negative mindset will tend to create negative actions and similarly if we have a mindset that will only set into action once we see ‘proof’ that our goals are achievable, then the road will be much longer and arduous. This is why, instead of thinking “I’ll believe it when I see it”, a success mindset will think “I’ll see it when I believe it.”

The Placebo Effect and What It Shows Us About The Power of Mindset

The placebo effect is a perfect example of how mindset really can be powerful. In scientific trials, a group of participants were told they received medication that will heal an ailment but were actually given a sugar pill that does nothing (the placebo). Yet after the trial the participants believed it’s had a positive effect – sometimes even cured their ailment even though nothing has changed. This is the power of mindset.

How do we apply this to our goals? Well, when we set goals and dreams how often do we really believe they’ll come to fruition? Have absolute faith that they can be achieved? Have a complete unwavering expectation? Most of us don’t because we hold on to negative mindsets and limiting beliefs about ourselves that stop us from fully believing we are capable or that it’s at all possible. We tend to listen to the opinions of others despite them misaligning with our own or bow to societal pressures that make us believe we should think and act a certain way. There are many reasons why we possess these types of mindsets but a success mindset can be achieved.

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How To Create a Success Mindset

People with success mindsets have a particular way of perceiving things. They have positive outlooks and are able to put faith fully in their ability to succeed. With that in mind, here are a few ways that can turn a negative mindset into a successful one.

1. A Success Mindset Comes From a Growth Mindset

How does a mindset even manifest itself? It comes from the way you talk to yourself in the privacy of your own head. Realising this will go a long way towards noticing how you speak to yourself and others around you. If it’s mainly negative language you use when you talk about your goals and aspirations then this is an example of a fixed mindset.

A negative mindset brings with it a huge number of limiting beliefs. It creates a fixed mindset – one that can’t see beyond it’s own limitations. A growth mindset sees these limitations and looks beyond them – it finds ways to overcome obstacles and believes that this will result in success. When you think of your goal, a fixed mindset may think “what if I fail?” A growth mindset would look at the same goal and think “failures happen but that doesn’t mean I won’t be successful.”

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There’s a lot of power in changing your perspective.

2. Look For The Successes

It’s really important to get your mind focused on positive aspects of your goal. Finding inspiration through others can be really uplifting and keep you on track with developing your success mindset; reinforcing your belief that your dreams can be achieved. Find people that you can talk with about how they achieved their goals and seek out and surround yourself with positive people. This is crucial if you’re learning to develop a positive mindset.

3. Eliminate Negativity

You can come up against a lot of negativity sometimes either through other people or within yourself. Understanding that other people’s negative opinions are created through their own fears and limiting beliefs will go a long way in sustaining your success mindset. But for a lot of us, negative chatter can come from within and these usually manifest as negative words such as can’t, won’t, shouldn’t. Sometimes, when we think of how we’re going to achieve our goals, statements in our minds come out as negative absolutes: ‘It never works out for me’ or ‘I always fail.’

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When you notice these coming up you need to turn them around with ‘It always works out for me!’ and ‘I never fail!’ The trick is to believe it no matter what’s happened in the past. Remember that every new day is a clean slate and for you to adjust your mindset.

4. Create a Vision

Envisioning your end goal and seeing it in your mind is an important trait of a success mindset. Allowing ourselves to imagine our success creates a powerful excitement that shouldn’t be underestimated. When our brain becomes excited at the thought of achieving our goals, we become more committed, work harder towards achieving it and more likely to do whatever it takes to make it happen.

If this involves creating a vision board that you can look at to remind yourself every day then go for it. Small techniques like this go a long way in sustaining your success mindset and shouldn’t be dismissed.

An Inspirational Story…

For centuries experts said that running a mile in under 4 minutes was humanly impossible. On the 6th May 1954, Rodger Bannister did just that. As part of his training, Bannister relentlessly visualised the achievement, believing he could accomplish what everyone said wasn’t possible…and he did it.

What’s more amazing is that, as soon as Bannister achieved the 4-minute mile, more and more people also achieved it. How was this possible after so many years of no one achieving it? Because in people’s minds it was suddenly possible – once people knew that it was achievable it created a mindset of success and now, after over fifty years since Bannister did the ‘impossible’, his record has been lowered by 17 seconds – the power of the success mindset!

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