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A Letter To My Daughter As An Old Man

A Letter To My Daughter As An Old Man

To my darling daughter,

In my life I’ve accomplished a great many things, but by far, the greatest accomplishment I’ve achieved is you.

And my most cherished title is “Dad.”  I’m so proud of everything that you are and everything you have yet to become.  Your potential is limitless and as long as there is breath left in me, I will be right here as a gentle support and willing you to succeed.

I’ll never forget seeing you for the very first time.

I remember your fingers, your feet. I even saw you sucking on your tiny thumb that very first day. And when I saw you open your eyes for the very first time and gaze into the eyes of your beautiful mother, well, that was one of the most profound moments of my life. My girls.

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Your childhood was the most magical time of my life. You’ve given me so many special moments that I will treasure forever. The first time you called me Dad… how you would run into my arms whenever you hurt yourself… your endless laughter at the silliest of things.

You have always valued your independence.

I remember one summer when you were three years old. Your mother and I thought we lost you at a very crowded outdoor restaurant. We panicked and were about to call the police when we found you sitting with another family member, chatting and enjoying some of their chips. I think back on this often now that you live in London. Although you are far away, I know you are living a full and exciting life (and hopefully finding some good chips).

Since then you have grown into a strong-willed, motivated, but most importantly kind person. You are a strong and intellectually driven women, much like your mother was. You are incredibly thoughtful and loyal to the people in your life, and naturally they are drawn to you. You are comfortable with complicated ideas and in complicated social settings. You can do anything you want.

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You have always been funny and empathetic, with a great work ethic. Your intelligence, both deep and practical, is amazing.

Mum and I couldn’t reach you after the London Tube attacks, and because you’d been at work nearby, we were rightfully scared. Finally, after hours of waiting, your mum called to tell me that you’d been separated from your colleagues during the evacuation—because you stayed behind to help an elderly woman down nine flights of stairs. I took a deep breath and leaned back against the fridge.

You see, as a dad, sometimes I have to lean back, hoping and praying that you will be okay in this sometimes scary world. And time and again, you lean forward, showing me that you’re the independent, strong women that every dad hopes he will raise.

As we edge closer to the time when I will no longer be just a phone call away, I wanted to let you know just how very proud I am of you (just ask my friends in the care home, you’re all I talk about).

When I’m no longer around, I hope that as your father I have given you the tools that will enable you to continue to reach your goals and fulfill your dreams.  I have always believed it is harder for strong women to achieve than it is for men. But that just makes strong and successful women the most interesting people in the world. I have observed this with you as you’ve matured.

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I am so very lucky to have you in my life. Thank you for your limitless patience, support and love. You are the rock of my life.

Love,

Dad.

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Featured photo credit: Edward Muslak via flickr.com

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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