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Career Advice From My Younger Self

Career Advice From My Younger Self

Although growing up sometimes means defining a career, earning more responsibility, and hopefully more money, does it have to also mean losing the enjoyment of pleasures once appreciated? Year after year, I find myself caring more for the paycheck at the end of the week, retirement fund, and health insurance more than I do other things. Of course, I can still say with confidence that I’m a quite happy person and thoroughly adore my life. However, the meaning of a job and work, a place that I spend a majority of my time, doesn’t really mean to me what it once did. Even though changing jobs frequently and working for almost nothing isn’t a viable option outside of high school and college, I feel that revisiting the struggle of this time could be incredibly enlightening. Let’s imagine this, if my younger self could give my current self some career and life advice, what would I say?

You Aren’t Your Work

My younger self would definitely say this because during a majority of my late teens and early twenties I was working as a barista, day care employee, and customer service rep. While I did learn quite the array of crucial life skills throughout my employ at these miscellaneous jobs, I always understood that the job was separate from my home life. This is something that is much harder for me to comprehend at this time. I tend to take work home with me, not only physically, but mainly emotionally. Since I can now envision my line of work leading to a career, I tend to take it much more seriously.

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So, what would my younger self have to say about that? I think she would say, “You deserve to enjoy time to yourself”. Making a good impression at work doesn’t have to mean stressing so much or working harder than you should. Do outstanding work while you’re at work. This way you don’t have to worry at home if you did every little thing that there was to do. I never doubted my work ethic for a second in my younger years. I know I do excellent work now, so why is today different?

She would also scoff at the fact that I tend to wear my emotions from the day on my sleeve. I can’t recall a time in my past when I came home from a long day at the office (meaning coffee shop) and took my bad day out on anyone else. My younger self would laugh at me for being so “adult”. “It’s just a job”, she would say, “family and friends and fun are what is important”. In other words, “Live life (not work) you dummy”.

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Meet New People

One of the best things about working a ton of starter jobs early on was meeting new people and making a lot of friends. Getting the chance to hang out with people that you might not have been able to otherwise is really a special thing. Once a career is built, so to speak, a chance for stagnancy comes alive. Doing the same thing after work each day or always hanging out with the same people can become the norm. Chances are that some people from your past just didn’t align with where you are anymore.There is no rule that says people aren’t allowed to keep making friends their entire life. There also isn’t a rule (or shouldn’t be) about where you can make new friends.

I’m to go out on a limb and say that I’m more anti-social now than I have ever been. I know that in my teens and twenties I was much more shy and unopinionated, but I made friends like crazy. Now, I’m not afraid to speak my mind and I know what I want (for dinner, in a partner, with this part of my life…mostly). However, I don’t know how to speak to people at all. Even if I am friendly with people at work or elsewhere it is so much harder for me to say the words, “Hey do you wanna hangout?” Back then, I know for a fact, it wasn’t this difficult. I didn’t judge others so harshly. I didn’t try to figure out if someone might fit my life perfectly before even trying to befriend them.

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Forget About the Paycheck

When I was the most broke that I have ever been, I was totally fine with it. I knew that I was going to have to live with the fact that I had no money and that’s just the way that it was. Nowadays, I get anxiety if I don’t have my usual safety blanket of benjamins keeping me warm. Even though this was rough from time to time, it always seemed to work out. I’m absolutely not saying, “throw abandon to the wind and burn all your cash” because that’s just idiotic. What I am saying instead is to just find pleasure by other means. That old cheesy saying, “money doesn’t buy happiness” is ruthlessly true.

Without a doubt, the best moments in my life come from enjoying what I am doing and spending time with the people I really want in my life. Even if your job isn’t exactly a picturesque dream, finding joy in a career that you are masterful at should be more of a focus than anything else. Working to get to the end of the day or the paycheck at the end of the week is just not a way to live. Unfortunately, I find myself just mentally waiting for the end of the day from time to time. Again, I know that I am a hard worker. So, for me I should really be bragging to myself about the great work I got accomplished this day or week. Even though that might sound pretty lame, just think of it this way, every awesome thing that you accomplish can be added to your resume of life.

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If at the end of each day your only accomplishment is the money that was made or the idea of how to get to the next dollar, so be it. Although, consider this; a majority of our time spent each day (and realistically our lives) is spent in the office.

In conclusion, my younger self wouldn’t want me to be sitting at home alone, saving up money for nothing. My younger self would want me to do something – anything rewarding, have enough money to eat, enjoy good company, meet new people, and never think that I’ve got it all figured out.

Featured photo credit: Valles Barnepass i Hemsedal Skisenter/SkiStar via flickr.com

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Last Updated on July 10, 2020

Feeling Stuck in Your Career? How to Break Free and Get Ahead

Feeling Stuck in Your Career? How to Break Free and Get Ahead

Have you ever caught yourself in a daydream where you’ve gone for that upcoming promotion, and you’re now the boss at work? Or how about the one where you’ve summoned up all your courage to quit a job where you’re feeling stuck in your career and live your dream instead? Or when you’ve changed career paths to do what really makes you happy?

Then, you snapped back to reality and realized that you’re not the boss, not living your dream, and not even happy in the career path that you’re on.

Over the years I’ve worked with hundreds of individuals who’ve told me they feel stuck in their careers, that something had to change for them to break free and be happy, but they lacked the confidence to take that step. My mission is to make sure that nobody feels stuck in their career because of a momentary lapse in bravery that’s dragged on for too long.

Read on to find out how you can stop feeling stuck in your career, break free, and get ahead at work. .

Here are my top ten tips for becoming unstuck in your career.

1. Make Time for You

If you’re feeling stuck, frustrated, or unhappy with how your career is panning out, the first step is to work out why.

Maybe you’ve arrived in your current career by accident and haven’t ever made time to deliberately think or plan what you’d love to do and how you’d get there.

Prioritizing time to think is the first step you need to take to stop feeling stuck and start getting ahead. Book some time into your day where you can have an uninterrupted meeting with yourself. This is your thinking time.

Work out what makes you happy at work, what doesn’t, and where you might want to go. Decide on the steps you want to take to progress your career in the direction that you want it to take.

For example, are there training days, evening courses, or online learning that you can do? Have you considered getting a mentor to help you get ahead?

By booking in a meeting with yourself, it signals it’s important (to you and your colleagues) and also stops others spotting a gap in your day and filling it with a meeting.

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2. Grow Your Network Before You Need It

Who you know is more important than what you know for career progression. Don’t wait until you’re feeling stuck in your career to start expanding your networks. Do it now.

Adam Grant, the author of Give and Take, says you’re 58% more likely to get a new job through your weak ties than through your strong ones. Your strong ties are those in your immediate circle whom you interact with often. Your weak ties are your friends of friends. They move in different circles to you, they know different people, make different connections, and are more likely to introduce you to new and different opportunities[1].

When I was thinking about setting up my current company, Lucidity, I turned up to every networking event. I drank a lot of coffees with a lot of different people to understand what they did, to ask for advice, to unpick what their problems were, and to look for opportunities for collaboration and connections.

It paid off because, when I launched my business, I let my network know how I could help them, and soon I had my first clients.

Pay attention to building and nurturing your networks and focus on how you can add value to other. That’s where your next career opportunity is most likely to come from.

3. Surround Yourself With People Who Inspire You

According to Tim Ferriss, “You are the average of the five people you most associate with,” and his associations with different people ebbs and flows depending on what he’s working on and trying to achieve[2].

For example, if you are trying to be fitter, it’s easier if you hang around with people who love doing exercise–they help you to up your game.

If you want that promotion, a career change, or to set up your own business, seek out people who are excelling at it already. They’ll have valuable things to teach you about breaking free and getting ahead.

4. Work on Your Personal Brand

Jeff Bezos defines a personal brand as “what people say about you when you’re not in the room.” People will talk about you when you are not in the room anyway, so you might as well be deliberate about what you’d like people to say!

Your personal brand isn’t about pretending to be something you’re not. That can actually keep you feeling stuck in your career. It’s really about being your best “real you.” It’s about owning your strengths and being purposeful about how you want to be perceived by others.

What do you want to be known for? By being more deliberate about how you want to come across and what you’re looking for in your career, you’ll increase your chance of attracting the right opportunities.

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Once you’ve given your personal brand some thought, make sure that you show up online. Is your LinkedIn profile up to date? And if you don’t have one, get one. Make sure it communicates what you want to be known for and that it’s consistent with your other social media profiles.

Try these 5 Steps to Master Networking Skills and Perfect Your Personal Branding.

5. Be Accountable

Achieve your career goals faster, and grow and learn by making yourself accountable. Tell other people your goals and a timeline. and have them to hold you accountable.

For example, you might want to get a promotion by the end of the year, have decided the sector you want to move to by the end of the month, or have got your new business idea before the next pay day. Whatever your ambitions are, you can tell a friend or a colleague, or share this with a mentor or a mastermind group.

When we tell other people our goals and intentions, they hold us accountable, and we are more likely to make progress faster.

6. Make Sure Your Values Are Aligned With Your Company’s

All the professional development, goal setting, and networks in the world won’t make you happy if you’re working for a company that ultimately has opposing values to yours.

Figure out what’s important to you in a job. For example, does your company’s product help people live a better life? Do you feel strongly about your company’s ethics and social responsibility? Does the company culture allows employees to be themselves and shine? Or maybe flexible working and more holidays for employees with families is where your heart is?

Some companies put their employees well-being at the core of their business; others put profits first. If you feel that your values don’t match the core values of your employer, it could be a reason why you’re feeling stuck in your career and unhappy.

It’s important to work through this and identify whether it’s the job that is not right for you, or if it’s a great job but the organization or sector is wrong for you.

7. Get out of Your Comfort Zone

Your comfort zone is your safe place. For any change to happen, you have to step out of your comfort zone.

It’s actually much easier not to change anything and to keep grumbling on about how you’re stuck and unhappy in your career than to step outside of your comfort zone to address the fearful unknowns associated with change. It’s part of human nature that we’d put up with the devil we know rather than risk the devil we don’t.

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This is true even if the devil we know is a boring, unfulfilling job because we’re wired to think that making a change to find a better option might actually leave us worse off.

If you feel stuck, it might be that your confidence has got the better of you.

To get ahead at work, start taking small steps outside of your comfort zone. Consider what you’re scared of that is stopping you from making a change. Then, tackle that in small steps.

For example, if you know that to move into the job you want, you’ll have to do more public speaking, but public speaking terrifies you so much it’s stopping you from going for the job, then start small to build your confidence. You can speak up more in team meetings, then slowly build from there.

You might also choose to set up or be part of a specific group. One of my clients, who found that confidence was holding her team back in achieving work goals, set up a “get out of your comfort zone club,” where they challenge and support each other to build their confidence by regularly leaving their comfort zones.

8. Learn to Embrace Failure

Failure is part of life. A New York University study found that children learning to walk averaged 2,368 steps and fell 17 times an hour[3]. Failure is simply the natural path to success.

The truth is that we don’t get everything right the first time. We fail, we learn, we pick ourselves up, and we try again.

In my experience, it’s common that whilst the theory of learning from failure is supported, the reality of being open about failures to enable personal learning is much harder to achieve.

We don’t like to admit that we’ve failed. We have a fight or flight response to failure. It’s a normal gut reaction to ask ourselves: “Will I get away with it if I don’t tell anyone?” We are fearful of criticism, of losing face in front of others, or even being fired for failure.

However, if you’re going to stop feeling stuck in your career, you must be open to learning from failure.

Reframe failure by viewing everything as an experiment because you can’t have a failed experiment—you just learn whether something works or not. Think of Edison inventing the lightbulb, when he said:

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“I’ve not failed. I’ve just found 10,000 ways that won’t work.”

9. Build Your Resilience

Resilience is the ability to tackle difficulties and setbacks, to bounce back, regroup, and to keep going.

Getting unstuck in your career, taking a different path, and achieving the results you want will take resilience. Having resilience is also the capacity to choose how you respond to the unexpected things that life throws your way and adapt and thrive in times of complex change.

Given that the world we live in is in constant flux, and the only thing that is certain is uncertainty, the ability to adapt and bounce back is an important life skill, as well as a career skill.

In her book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance, Angela Duckworth’s research shows that when measuring success, the ability to persevere beats talent every time.

Learn more about how to build resilience in this guide: What Is Resilience and How to Always Be Resilient (Step-By-Step Guide)

10. Ask for Help

It can be hard to ask for help, as it can make us feel vulnerable.

No one person can be expected to have all the answers. That’s why we need a group of people that we can go to for help, people who can pick us up when we have setbacks and also help us to celebrate success.

My advice is to be deliberate about creating your group. You can do that with a tool called a “Me Map”:

  1. Write down all the things that you might need support with, like help with career progression, interview practice, making new connections, talking through business plans, learning from failure, etc.
  2. Next to each thing, write the names of the people you go to when you need that particular thing.
  3. Make sure you get in touch and regularly connect with them.

Final Thoughts

You can stop feeling stuck in your career, break free, and get ahead at work by applying the tips in this article. Start small by incorporating three new things in your first week, and then adding more as your comfort zone and capacity expands.

Remember, no matter how stuck you feel, it’s never too late to make a change and land the career that you truly want.

More Tips to Stop Feeling Stuck in Your Career

Featured photo credit: NEW DATA SERVICES via unsplash.com

Reference

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