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I Am A Difficult Boss And I Know It

I Am A Difficult Boss And I Know It

Every leadership book I have ever read has outlined a long list of the different types of boss that a person can be. There’s the micromanager, the dictator, the abuser and the complete and utter idiot. There’s also the boss that can’t delegate, does not trust their team and has a hard time letting go.

These are all examples of bad bosses. A boss who cannot get over themselves enough to lead their team into battle is not a leader. That boss is a coward.

Out of all the leadership books on my shelf, I have yet to come across one that describes the kind of boss I am.

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I am a difficult boss. I know what I am. My team knows what I am. Even other managers know what I am.

From the outside, my management style is confusing. For those who are too used to dealing with the bosses already mentioned, I am an enigma. From the outside, I look like I might fall into the bad boss category. But if you spend five minutes on a team with someone like me, it becomes clear that I am not mean, controlling or an idiot. I am simply difficult.

A Difficult Boss Is Not a Bad Boss

Difficulty is a word with many negative connotations. Because of these preconceived ideas, too many people associate difficult bosses with being a bad boss. There is nothing further from the truth. A difficult boss will not shout obscenities at their team for the sake of it. They know how to delegate and how to trust the right people.

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A difficult boss is not a bad boss at all. In fact, a difficult boss is the kind of boss that anyone who wants to grow in their position wants to have. A difficult boss pushes you to become the best version of yourself at work. It’s a leadership style that sits comfortably between the overbearing boss who will only excuse you from a meeting if your dead and the kind of boss whose team walks all over them.

A Difficult Boss Is Not a Mean Boss

I do not heap praise on my team for mediocre work. For some people, this seems a harsh thing to say. In my eyes, it is not harsh. It is merely pragmatic.

A good boss values their employees. They will say please and thank you and recognize that they need their team to succeed. As a difficult boss, I do all of these things. I thank my barista at Starbucks for giving me the coffee I need to get through the day, why would I not thank my team?

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But while I understand social cues, I am not about to tell my team that they have done a fantastic job when they haven’t. Handing out praise left and right does not benefit anyone. My employees have to work to earn sincere and enthusiastic praise.

But if you ask them whether they think I am mean, they will tell you no. In fact, they appreciate that the praise they get is sincere and duly earned. It just feels better to know that when your boss tells you you’ve done a fantastic job, you actually did do a great job!

A Difficult Boss Wants More

As a difficult boss, I am not hard to please just because I feel like being that way. The reason that I demand more from my team is because I want more for them. I want to help them grow and develop both professionally and personally.

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I’m not an army drill sergeant. I do not need to berate my employees to force them to transcend their boundaries. But the principle is the same. You do not get what you do not ask for in life. I ask for more of my employees so that they give more. It is that simple.

A Difficult Boss Wants You To Grow

I do not want more for my team for my own gain. That kind of boss is a bad boss. Of course, I stand to benefit when my team excels. Wanting more for my team is about wanting them to grow.

I believe in my team and I know they are good, honorable people. But I also know that everyone sometimes need an extra incentive to reach their potential. In fact, I need that extra boost myself. When I see my team working to reach their potential, I am inspired to keep pushing myself along with them. That does not make be a bad boss or a selfish boss. It makes me a leader.

I am a difficult boss. Anyone will tell you that. But I am not a bad boss. If I was a bad boss, you would not be able to question it.

Featured photo credit: ylmworkshop via flickr.com

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Last Updated on November 5, 2018

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

8 Powerful Reasons to Love Your Enemies

We’ve all got our enemies; people who take pleasure in causing us pain and misery. Sometimes, the development of an enemy is due to certain differences in your characters and events have led to that. Other times, some people end up hating you for apparently no reason at all.

Regardless of how you got this enemy, as opposed to the paradigm of fighting fire with fire, consider the following reasons and see why you should actually appreciate your enemies. This article will show you not only how to not be bothered by your enemies, but how to actually foster love for them.

Read on to learn the secret.

1. It’s a practical lesson in anger management

To be honest, your enemies are the best people to help you understand your sense of anger management. When it might be true that your enemies have a way of bringing out the worst in you as regards anger, it is also true that they can help you in your quest to have that anger managed. You can’t get truly angry at someone you love and it is only in that time when you get truly annoyed that you learn how to manage it.

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Anger management is more effective when it is in practice and not in theory

Your enemies are like the therapists who you need, but actually don’t want. Inasmuch as you might want to hate them, they provide you an opportunity to control the anger impulse that you have.

2. It’s an opportunity for healthy competition

You might not know it, but your enemies make for great rivals as they help harness the competitor in you (sometimes, you might not even know or bee conversant with this competitive side until you come across an adversary). You get the right motivation to compete and this can go a long way to spur you to victory.

However, while doing so, it is also essential that you remember not to become a worse version of yourself while competing. Working against an adversary is tricky, and you need to ensure that you don’t cause harm to yourself or your morals in the process. Healthy competition is all you need to get out of this.

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3. Their negative comments can help you make a breakthrough

It is true that your enemies never really have much good to say about you. However, in as much as they might be talking out of a place of hate, there might be some truth to what they’re saying.

To wit, whenever you hear something mean or nasty from an enemy, you might want to take a step back and evaluate yourself. There is a chance that what this enemy is saying is true and coming to face that fact is a major step in helping you to become a better person overall. This is another testament to the fact that enemies can be therapists in their own way.

4. Enemies can also be powerful allies

Loving your enemies can also mean making an effort to interact and make peace with them. In the end, if you are able to establish some common ground and patch things up, you’ll have succeeded in making another friend. And who doesn’t need friends?

This can also help you in working with people in the long run. You get to hone your inter-personal skills, and that can be a big plus to your ledger.

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5. It gives you the ability to realize positivity

In a multitude of negativity, a speck of positivity always seems to find its way through.

Sometimes, a knowledge of the fact that you have enemies will also help you to focus on the many positives and good things that are in your life. A lot of times, we neglect what really matters in life. This can be due to being overly concerned with the enemies we have.

However, it is also possible for this acknowledgement to spur you to take a step back and appreciate the goo things (and people who surround you).

6. There might just be a misunderstanding

Sometimes, the reason why you have an enemy might be something very innocuous. You might not have known the cause of this fractured relationship and your enemy will help complete the picture.

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Simply approaching them will help you to understand the reason for the fracture. This, in turn, can help you to work towards healing your relationship moving forward. Misunderstandings happen, and you need to be able to work around them.

7. You learn to appreciate love as well

A constant reminder of the fact that there are enemies will also help you not to take those who love you for granted. Love and hate are two opposing emotions and it is possible for one to momentarily overshadow the other.

However, while you’ll always have enemies, there will also always be people who love you. These people need to be appreciated for what they do for you. Never let the hate projected to you from your enemies take the place of that.

8. Do you really need the hate?

The truth is that enemies bring only toxic emotions and generate bad reactions from you. If you’re truly to live a prosperous life, you can’t really be carrying all this baggage around.

Hate is bad and you should try all you can to get rid of it. It is a well-known fact that nobody can get really far in life while carrying a lot of emotional baggage. Well, hate is the biggest form of emotional baggage there is.

Featured photo credit: rawpixel via unsplash.com

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