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10 Holiday Blues Only People With Depression Would Understand

10 Holiday Blues Only People With Depression Would Understand

The holidays are supposed to be a time for joy and celebration; however, not everyone feels the same. If you suffer from depression, you may find it difficult to cope during these festive seasons. The holiday atmosphere actually makes you feel more depressed and bad about yourself.

Here are 10 holiday blues only people with depression would understand.

1. You want to feel joyous like everyone else but you can’t.

You understand that the holidays are meant to be joyous and celebrated. You wish you could join in the fun, but you just can’t feel the holiday spirit. Your world is so bleak that you can’t see any hope for the future. The holidays are just like any other day of the year, only worse.

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2. You don’t wish to dampen the holiday spirit with your depression.

The holidays make you feel worse because you know that your friends are having fun but you don’t wish to be the one spoiling their fun. Even though you need support from your friends, you would rather be alone and not reach out to them. You don’t want to bring down their moods with your depression. You feel unworthy to celebrate with them.

3. You don’t want other people to know about your depression.

Depression is not something you want to talk about during the holidays. You are afraid that when you talk about it, you would suddenly cry in front of all your friends like what you usually do alone at night. Not only will it spoil the festive mood, but you will also feel ashamed crying in front of others, especially when it’s the holidays.

4.  You deny your own feelings for the holiday.

People expect you to be happy during the holidays. You don’t have the holiday feeling, but you pretend that you are enjoying yourself so that others don’t probe further. Feeling depressed is already bad enough. On top of that, you have to pretend that you are fine during the holidays. Not being able to be yourself and feel your emotions makes you feel even worse during this period.

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5. You would rather hide than catch up with your relatives.

You hate it when relatives ask you, “How are you doing?” You know this question is unavoidable. They haven’t seen you for a long time and want to catch up with your life. However, you feel like running away because you can’t answer this question honestly. Not only will you risk having a breakdown in front of them, but you also think they won’t understand and accept depression.

6. You want to avoid crowds, but people keep asking you out.

There are 365 days in a year. All of your friends seem to be free only during the holiday period. Everyone is asking you out for parties so that they can catch up with you and everybody else together. Honestly, you just want to be alone at home. Seeing crowds make you panic for no logical reason. You know you will feel worse after the parties. That said, in the end, you agree to turn up for a couple of them because you are so tired of rejecting your friends.

7. You dread gift exchange.

Getting the energy to cope with daily life is already a struggle to you. Having to buy gifts for others is asking too much of you. You don’t know what to buy for your friends. There are too many choices. What if they don’t like what you have bought? Everything seems so costly. There are so many things to worry about for gift exchange. You can’t see the joy in it.

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8. You have to spend more time alone to recover from the holiday parties.

Every party you go, it drains you and leaves you feeling more depressed. You need to make extra effort to socialize with others when all you want to do is sleep at home and not bother with anyone else. You know you don’t bring your best to the party and you leave others with a bad impression. After each party, you feel worse and blame yourself for accepting your friend’s invitation.

9. Your friends don’t understand why you could feel depressed amidst all this joy.

You tell your best friends how you feel, but they think that you are too negative and ask you to lighten up for the holidays instead. They think you’ll get better with all the celebrations around you. You used to believe that holidays like Christmas were magical. However, ever since you have depression, you feel like you are abnormal and everybody doesn’t understand you.

10. You are reminded how unhappy you are when see other people happy.

During the holiday seasons, you just want to turn everything off. Walking on the streets and seeing everyone else happy with their families makes you more depressed with the state you are in. You can’t read social media posts anymore because everyone except you seems to be in so much joy and happiness. You wish your depression would be over soon so that you can be like everyone else again.

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Featured photo credit: Rainy Christmas Grief Child Kid / PublicDomainPictures via pixabay.com

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Yong Kang Chan

Self-Help Author (Writes about Self-Compassion and Mindfulness)

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Last Updated on April 9, 2020

How to Think Positive Thoughts When Feeling Negative

How to Think Positive Thoughts When Feeling Negative

Positive thinking can lead to a lot of positive change in your life. Developing an optimistic outlook can be good for both your physical and mental health.

But sometimes, certain situations arise in life that makes it hard to keep a positive outlook. Take steps to make positive thinking become more like your second nature and you’ll reap the biggest benefits.

Here are 10 ways to make thinking positive thoughts easy:

1. Spend Time with Positive People

If you surround yourself with constant complainers, their negativity is likely to rub off on you.

Spend time with positive friends and family members to increase the likelihood that their positive thinking habits will become yours too. It’s hard to be negative when everyone around you is so positive.

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Learn How to Surround Yourself With Positive People.

2. Take Responsibility for Your Behavior

When you encounter problems and difficulties in life, don’t play the role of the victim. Acknowledge your role in the situation and take responsibility for your behavior.

Accepting responsibility can help you learn from mistakes and prevent you from blaming others unfairly.

3. Contribute to the Community

One of the best ways to feel good about what you have, is to focus on what you have to give.

Volunteer in some manner and give back to the community. Helping others can give you a new outlook on the world and can assist you with positive thinking.

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4. Read Positive and Inspirational Materials

Spend time each day reading something that encourages positive thinking. Read the Bible, spiritual material, or inspirational quotes to help you focus on what’s important to you in life. It can be a great way to start and end your day.

Some recommendations for you:

5. Recognize and Replace Negative Thoughts

You won’t be successful at positive thinking if you’re still plagued by frequent negative thoughts. Learn to recognize and replace thoughts that are overly negative. Often, thoughts that include words like “always” and “never” signal that they aren’t true.

If you find yourself thinking something such as, “I always mess everything up,” replace it with something more realistic such as, “Sometimes I make mistakes but I learn from them.”

There’s no need to make your thoughts unrealistically positive, but instead, make them more realistic.

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6. Establish and Work Toward Goals

It’s easier to be positive about problems and setbacks when you have goals that you’re working toward. Goals will give you motivation to overcome those obstacles when you encounter problems along the way. Without clear goals, it’s harder to make decisions and gauge your progress.

Learn to set SMART goals to help you achieve more.

7. Consider the Consequences of Negativity

Spend some time thinking about the consequences of negative thinking. Often, it can become a self-fulfilling prophecy.

For example, a person who thinks, “I probably won’t get this job interview,” may put less effort into the interview. As a result, he may decrease his chances of getting the job.

Create a list of all the ways negative thinking impacts your life. It likely influences your behavior, your relationships, and your feelings. Then, create a list of the ways in which positive thinking could be beneficial.

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8. Offer Compliments to Others

Look for reasons to compliment others. Be genuine in your praise and compliments, but offer it frequently. This will help you look for the good in other people.

9. Create a Daily Gratitude List

If you start keeping a daily gratitude list, you’ll start noticing exactly how much you have to be thankful for. This can help you focus on the positive in your life instead of thinking about all the bad things that have happened in the day.

Getting in the habit of showing an attitude of gratitude makes positive thinking more of a habit. Here’re 40 Simple Ways To Practice Gratitude.

10. Practice Self-Care

Take good care of yourself and you’ll be more equipped to think positively.

Get plenty of rest and exercise and practice managing your stress well. Taking care of your physical and mental health will provide you with more energy to focus on positive thinking.

Learn about these 30 Self-Care Habits for a Strong and Healthy Mind, Body and Spirit.

More Tips for Staying Positive

Featured photo credit: DESIGNECOLOGIST via unsplash.com

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