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For Busy People: How To Make Your Relationship New Every Day

For Busy People: How To Make Your Relationship New Every Day

We all have a lot of things on our daily to-do lists. Even if it’s stuff closely related to our goals in life, we still need to get back to reality and dedicate time to the small things that matter. At the end of the day, they are the things that actually make a difference.

I’m talking about finding the time to improve our relationships, to say something nice to our loved ones, to ask them about their day, and listen to them with a smile on our face. Take the time to remember how you first felt when you fell in love. Remind your partner of these emotions whenever possible.

We all know we should be doing that, but with everything going on throughout the busy day, we come home exhausted and just want some time for ourselves. Unfortunately, if we let things be like that, it soon becomes a habit. We may not notice that right away, but the ones closest to us do. They may even be hurt by the lack of attention.

That’s why you should start doing something small daily to remind them that you’re here and you still care, even though you’re busy.

Here are some little things to do daily to renew your relationships:

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1. Practice random acts of kindness to remind people that they are loved.

It may be a small gift every now and then, an unexpected call at work, preparing a meal when they don’t feel well, or doing most of the work at home so that they can relax. For example, I sometimes call my mom on Skype just to have a quick chat with her since we live in different countries. She’s always happy to hear my voice and see my smile. I also send messages to friends whom I have not spoken to in a while, just to see how they are doing.

All these seemingly small things can make someone’s day. The most important thing is that they are random. The other person doesn’t expect them. Furthermore, once it happens, they see you’ve been thinking about them and are doing something special, even though you don’t need to.

In the long-term that can keep a relationship alive, or even renew an existing one.

2. Be a good listener.

We speak too much and listen too little these days. Most of all, we crave to be heard.

To overcome this, sit down every day for 10-20 minutes and pay your whole attention to what the other person has to say. Don’t interrupt. Don’t try to express opinion or talk about yourself, simply listen and try to read between the lines.

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You may ask questions to make him feel comfortable, so they can share what’s on their mind. Once they start talking, let go of anything else that distracts you and focus on their words.

For me, this is always during meal times. My wife and I have a rule where we put away our phones when we eat so we can concentrate on each other. It takes no time at all, but can become a powerful ritual of connection and compassion. Accordingly, your relationship will thrive.

3. Don’t judge and criticize loved ones during the short time you spend together daily.

It’s easy to constantly criticize people, expect more from them, and judge everything they do; however, it’s also completely wrong. To make matters worse, someone usually gets hurt in the process.

Instead, accept them for who they are. We’re talking about people you love here, so there are many reasons to appreciate them. You’ve chosen to be a big part of each other’s lives, so remind yourself of the main reasons more often.

Soon you’ll stop judging these people, and will be grateful for having them around instead. They will feel loved and more comfortable being themselves around you. This makes your relationships grow stronger over time.

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I have a number of friends who consistently do things which I find incredibly silly or self-destructive. I have long decided to accept them for their faults and just be there to support them when they need it. This has made it a lot easier for me to let go of my frustrations and just enjoy their company instead.

4. Establish traditions and make them a priority.

If you want to make your relationship with someone you love new every day, but are really busy, create a tradition. It means making time for a conversation, or a meal, or to gather with friends in the evening. It could be anything.

Start with once a week, if you can’t make time daily, but stick to it. Make it your top priority. Once you see how beneficial it is to the relationship, you’ll see it’s worth finding time for it each day.

I make sure to bathe my daughter every day. It is our special time in the shower together and she enjoys talking to me. She also enjoys “helping me” wash my hair. Even when I get home late, she will wait for me so she can have that time with me. I really love this precious time together.

5. Be completely honest with the other person.

It’s important to say everything as it is. If you see that things between you are going in the wrong direction, talk about it. Say it directly. Also, share the fact that you don’t make enough time for that person and feel bad about it. This way they will see you still care and are ready to make changes.

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If you never talk about it, they may think you haven’t even noticed that things are bad and don’t care. That may mean losing the person without realizing, only because you haven’t been honest and they have moved on without you. Don’t let that happen.

My wife and I have agreed that we will always be truthful with each other, even if it means letting each other know that the other party looks fat in that new pair of jeans. It helps so we don’t go out looking like crap!

Conclusion

No matter how busy you are, make some time daily to renew your relationships. Hopefully, with these tips you can improve your relationships and live an even happier life.

Featured photo credit: Couple d’amoureaux dans une brasserie parisienne / Jean-Marc PAYET on Flickr via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 17, 2019

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

How to Spend More Quality Time with Your Partner

You see your partner every single day. They are the first person you talk to in the morning and the last person you kiss goodnight.

But does seeing each other day in and day out equal a healthy relationship? Not necessarily.

Spending quality time with your partner is the best way to ensure your relationship stays healthy and strong. This means going above and beyond sitting together while you watch Netflix or going out for the occasional dinner. You deserve more from your relationship – and so does your spouse!

What does quality time mean? It means spending time with your spouse without interruption. It’s a chance for you to come together and talk. Communication will build emotional intimacy and trust.

Quality time is also about expressing love in a physical way. Not sex, necessarily (but that’s great, too!) but through hand-holding, cuddling, caressing, and tickling. Studies show that these displays of affection will boost partner satisfaction.[1]

So how do you spend quality time with your partner? Here are 13 relationship tips on making the most out of your time with your partner.

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1. Recognize the Signs

If you want a healthy relationship, you have to learn how to recognize the signs that you need to spend more quality time together.

Some telltale signs include:

  • You’re always on your phones.
  • You value friendships or hobbies over quality time with your spouse.
  • You aren’t together during important events.
  • You are arguing more often or lack connection.
  • You don’t make plans or date nights.
  • You’re not happy.

If you are experiencing any of these relationship symptoms, know that quality time together can reverse the negative effects of the signs above.

2. Try New Things Together

Have you ever wanted to learn how to play an instrument or speak another language? How about skydive or ballroom dance?

Instead of viewing these as solo hobbies and interests, why not involve your partner?

Trying new activities together builds healthy relationships because it encourages spouses to rely on one another for emotional and physical support.

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Shared hobbies also promote marital friendship, and the Journal of Happiness Studies found that marital satisfaction was twice as high for couples who viewed each other as best friends.[2]

3. Schedule in Tech-Free Time

Your phone is a great way to listen to music, watch videos, and keep up-to-date with friends and family. But is your phone good for your relationship?

Many couples phone snub, or ‘phub’, one another. Studies show that phubbing can lower relationship satisfaction and increase one’s chances of depression.[3]

Reduce those chances by removing distractions when spending quality time together and showing your partner they have your full attention.

4. Hit the Gym as a Couple

One way you can spend more time together as a couple is by becoming workout partners. Studies show that couples are more likely to stay with their exercise routine if they work out together.[4] Couples also work out harder than they would solo. One study found that 95 percent of couples who work out together maintained weight loss compares to the 66 percent of singles who did.[5]

Join a gym, do at-home couples’ workouts, try couples yoga, hit the hiking trails, or get your bikes out. No matter which way you choose to exercise, these healthy activities can promote a healthy relationship.

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5. Cook Meals Together

Pop open a bottle of wine or put some romantic music on while you get busy – in the kitchen, of course!

One of the best relationship tips for spending quality time together when you both have busy schedules is to cook meals together.[6]

Spice things up and try and prepare a four-course meal or a fancy French dish together. Not only is this a fun way to spend your time together, but it also promotes teamwork.

If all goes well, you’ll have a romantic date night meal at home that you prepared with your four hands. And if the food didn’t turn out the way you’d hoped, you are guaranteed to have a laugh and create new memories together.

6. Have a Regular Date Night

Couples experience a greater sense of happiness and less stress when they are spending quality time together.[7] One of the biggest relationship tips for a healthy partnership is to include a date night in your weekly routine.

The National Marriage Project found that having a weekly date night can make your relationship seem more exciting and helps prevent relationship boredom.[8] It also lowers the probability of divorce, improves your sex life, and increases healthy communication.

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Some great ideas for what to do on your date night include:

  • Have a movie marathon – Gather up your favorite flicks and cuddle up on the couch.
  • Play games together – Cards, board games, video games, and other creative outlets are a fun way to spend quality time together.
  • Recreate your first date – Go back to that restaurant and order the same meal you did when you first got together. You can spice up your evening by pretending you’re strangers meeting for the first time and see how sexy the night gets.
  • Plan a weekend getaway – There’s nothing better than traveling with the one you love.
  • Dinner and a movie – A classic!
  • Try a new restaurant – Make it your mission to rate and try all of the Mexican restaurants/Irish pubs/Italian trattorias in your area.
  • Have a long sex session – Intimacy promotes the release of the oxytocin hormone which is responsible for a myriad of great feelings.[9]

Here’re even more date night ideas for your reference: 50 Unique and Really Fun Date Ideas for Couples

Final Thoughts

The benefits of spending quality time together are endless. Here are just some of the ways it can contribute to a healthy relationship:

  • Improves emotional and physical intimacy
  • Lowers divorce rates
  • Improves communication
  • Reduces marital boredom
  • Bonds couples closer
  • Improves friendship
  • Boosts health
  • Reduces stress

These are all excellent reasons to start making date night a regular part of your week.

It’s easy to have a healthy relationship when you set aside dedicated time to share with your spouse. Try new things together, make your spouse your workout buddy, and look for innovative ways to be close and connected.

These relationship tips will bring great benefits to your marriage.

Featured photo credit: Allen Taylor via unsplash.com

Reference

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