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9 Things Only People Who’re Not Good At Expressing Themselves Can Relate To

9 Things Only People Who’re Not Good At Expressing Themselves Can Relate To

For some people, expression of thoughts and emotions comes easy. For others, it’s not so natural. If you fall into the latter category, you’re not alone. Here are 9 things only people who aren’t good at expressing themselves can relate to.

1. You’re perceived as cold

With little facial expression and very few words, people usually think you’re so cold and dare not to approach you. The fact is that your emotions are always stirring inside while your outside doesn’t react accordingly.

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2. Your intelligence is often underestimated

People often take fluency in languages as the key of intelligence. It’s true that people who’re fluent in languages have their talents. But it doesn’t mean people who’re not good at expressing themselves are not equally intelligent. Many times in discussion or when meeting new people, as they find you sitting quietly, they’d conclude that you’re not smart enough. They don’t know many highly successful people in human history are not good at expressing themselves (e.g. Albert Einstein).

3. You often think for so long to answer a question

Sometimes it’s hard to find the right word. Words can’t always illustrate your exact thoughts. But more often it’s just too hard to find an absolute answer. To you, things are full of possibilities, you’d seldom conclude things sounding like an expert.

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4. You find large group gatherings tiring

In large group gatherings, people exchange views in a quick and surface manner. Before you give an idea, they’ve turned into a new topic already. You’re not good at responding so quickly, nor to interrupt effectively.

5.You’re a great listener

Though you’re not good at speaking, there’re some advantages too. You won’t interrupt like most people do, so when people tell you their sad stories, you really listen. Real listening doesn’t mean giving your own opinions, but just to really listen, show your interest and understanding. Therefore, people find it comforting to have you on their sides, especially when they’re in bad moods.

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6. You prefer actions than words

You always know actions speak louder than words. That’s why you spend little time on promoting yourself. Instead, you kickstart things right away to prove your ideas. In personal life, you spend little efforts (actually it’s a great challenge for you too) on polishing your words, you prefer putting them into actions instead of making vague and sugar-coated promises.

7. You sometimes find it hard to vent out your emotions

As said before, not being good at expressing yourself doesn’t mean you don’t have emotions. When you have lots of emotions, you sometimes feel like exploding as they’re stuck in your mind and body.

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8. You sometimes find yourself awkward when you spell out your feelings

When you finally try to express your feelings in better ways, you find yourself really awkward, so as people around you who’re not used to it. They’d think you must have gone crazy.

9. Your best friends know all these and won’t force you to change

Fortunately your best friends know all these. They know your struggles and deepest thoughts. They’ve never tried to change you but just to admire such a special friend.

Featured photo credit: Mitya Ku via flic.kr

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Anna Johansson

Anna is a freelance writer, researcher, and business consultant.

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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