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Things That Tell You This Is The Person You’re Going To Marry

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Things That Tell You This Is The Person You’re Going To Marry

We have all been in relationships we were not sure about. We were uncertain of the outcomes and eventualities. Yet, we were driven on possibilities and optimism. When you have met the one who you are meant to marry, you let go and stop asking “what if.” Rather you are willing to enjoy every moment with this person. It is important to pay attention to certain little things that can serve as indications to knowing that this is the person you are going to marry.

1. They appreciate being with your friends and family

They are comfortable with your friends and your family members. They will inquire about them and are interested in them.

2. There is always something new to discover when you are with them

There is something adventurous and worth learning when you are with them. Things that you have done with them in the past bring newer meanings anytime you do them again with him/her. The more time you spend with them, the more discoveries about yourself you make.

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3. They are your favorite friend

Of course, you spend time with other people. But when you are with him/her there is this chemistry that makes you realize that they are your best teammate. You don’t feel out of place with him/her and you can share almost anything with them.

4. You can tell them anything

There are no secrets or boundaries between you two. You can tell them anything and be absolutely honest with them.

5. You feel obligated to this person and the person feels the same way to you

You want to love and be there for this person regardless of the circumstances or challenges attached to your relationship. Even when you feel they can completely handle themselves, you still feel you owe it to them to show your sincere support to their progress.

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6. You always want to be around this person

You don’t get sick and tired of this person. You find yourself missing this person and they feeling the same for you. Somehow, you want to be involved in what is going on in their life, and want them to be involved in yours.

7. You disagree but you know how to get through it

Arguments happen in every relationship. But the issue is how you deal with disputes. With this person, you have healthy disagreements and you are willing to find a way through your differences. Whatever name calling or unfair remarks you have made always dissipate at some point when you are both willing to put in the effort to settle and cool down.

8. You are okay with each other’s flaws

You understand each other and can deal with each other’s flaws. The thing is that you have both been able to accept each other for your flaws. You do not try to change others, rather you appreciate and can live with your unique quirks.

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9. They make you a better person

They are there for you when you feel low and experience self-doubt. They want you to become a better person. Through patience and kindness they are able to drive you towards reaching higher goals in your life and becoming a better person.

10. You are not afraid of anything

Commitment and dedication to this person doesn’t scare you or make you feel insecure. Rather you want to be for this person and give everything to this person and the person feels exactly the same for you. Thus you are trusting and the person trusts you also.

11. They respect you

They respect your opinion, views and beliefs. Whether it is political, religious, spiritual or ethical, knows where you stand on certain issues and the person is willing to respect your decisions. Even when you need your space and need some time to be with yourself, they will gladly oblige to offering you that space you need.

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Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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