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Things That Tell You This Is The Person You’re Going To Marry

Things That Tell You This Is The Person You’re Going To Marry

We have all been in relationships we were not sure about. We were uncertain of the outcomes and eventualities. Yet, we were driven on possibilities and optimism. When you have met the one who you are meant to marry, you let go and stop asking “what if.” Rather you are willing to enjoy every moment with this person. It is important to pay attention to certain little things that can serve as indications to knowing that this is the person you are going to marry.

1. They appreciate being with your friends and family

They are comfortable with your friends and your family members. They will inquire about them and are interested in them.

2. There is always something new to discover when you are with them

There is something adventurous and worth learning when you are with them. Things that you have done with them in the past bring newer meanings anytime you do them again with him/her. The more time you spend with them, the more discoveries about yourself you make.

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3. They are your favorite friend

Of course, you spend time with other people. But when you are with him/her there is this chemistry that makes you realize that they are your best teammate. You don’t feel out of place with him/her and you can share almost anything with them.

4. You can tell them anything

There are no secrets or boundaries between you two. You can tell them anything and be absolutely honest with them.

5. You feel obligated to this person and the person feels the same way to you

You want to love and be there for this person regardless of the circumstances or challenges attached to your relationship. Even when you feel they can completely handle themselves, you still feel you owe it to them to show your sincere support to their progress.

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6. You always want to be around this person

You don’t get sick and tired of this person. You find yourself missing this person and they feeling the same for you. Somehow, you want to be involved in what is going on in their life, and want them to be involved in yours.

7. You disagree but you know how to get through it

Arguments happen in every relationship. But the issue is how you deal with disputes. With this person, you have healthy disagreements and you are willing to find a way through your differences. Whatever name calling or unfair remarks you have made always dissipate at some point when you are both willing to put in the effort to settle and cool down.

8. You are okay with each other’s flaws

You understand each other and can deal with each other’s flaws. The thing is that you have both been able to accept each other for your flaws. You do not try to change others, rather you appreciate and can live with your unique quirks.

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9. They make you a better person

They are there for you when you feel low and experience self-doubt. They want you to become a better person. Through patience and kindness they are able to drive you towards reaching higher goals in your life and becoming a better person.

10. You are not afraid of anything

Commitment and dedication to this person doesn’t scare you or make you feel insecure. Rather you want to be for this person and give everything to this person and the person feels exactly the same for you. Thus you are trusting and the person trusts you also.

11. They respect you

They respect your opinion, views and beliefs. Whether it is political, religious, spiritual or ethical, knows where you stand on certain issues and the person is willing to respect your decisions. Even when you need your space and need some time to be with yourself, they will gladly oblige to offering you that space you need.

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Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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