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7 Things You Should Know About Dating Guys Who Have Kids

7 Things You Should Know About Dating Guys Who Have Kids

You’re back on the dating scene and met this wonderful guy. You get the impression you met someone who’s serious and hoping to settling down someday. You like him…I mean really like him. He’s given you hope and opened a door you once closed. He has a nice job, his own place, a car in his driveway and surprise…he has a kid. Dating is already complicated and when you add a kid to the mix, it can be a recipe for drama.
Here are a few tips about dating a guy with a child…

1. His kid comes first.

As it should be! His child should ALWAYS be number one. He has a responsibility and an obligation to uphold. If you’re dating someone who’s child doesn’t come first…he isn’t the one for you! One thing you’ll learn about dating a guy with a child is things will not go as planned. His child may get sick during a date or he will cancel plans because he needs a babysitter. Anything can come up and it’s important for you to realize that you’re not the only person in his life. Be patient and understanding.

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2. Your relationship may start as a secret.

In the beginning, he may tell no one about you. Don’t worry! He has someone else to think about besides himself. He doesn’t want women walking in and out of his life. He’s smart to take things slow with introductions because a child shouldn’t be involved in the dating process. Stability is important! It’s a good move to make sure things are going well before bringing someone into a child’s life. You don’t want a child to become attached, and that person doesn’t stick around for the long haul.

3. His ex is here to stay.

Yes, you’ll be reminded of their past together. I know it’s a hard pill to swallow, but it’s something you have to accept. They have a history together and will interact with one another. When dating a guy with kids, there’s no room for jealousy. Those insecurities you held in earlier relationships need to be pushed out of your mind. This isn’t a traditional break-up where the ex is no longer present. Even if you don’t care for her actions, it’s important to respect she’s the mother of his child. Don’t get into any arguments with her. The last thing you want is to add unnecessary stress. The communication between them is for the sake of their kid. Trust your man and keep faith in your relationship!

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4. Emergencies will come up.

As soon as you guys are all dressed up and ready to go…he gets a call. It’s his child’s mother, and she needs him to give them a ride. You’ve waited all week for this night and it will not happen. I know you’re disappointed, but it comes with the package. If you had things your way most of your life, it’s time to change. It’s no longer about you! When you date someone with a child, you’re agreeing to accept all that comes with it. Think hard and ask yourself if you’re ready for this commitment.

5. Pace yourself.

Don’t rush into things! It’s okay to take your time and pace yourself. Eventually, you’ll meet his child. You hope to form a bond because you care for this man. His child extends him, so it’s a valuable relationship you’re entering.

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6. He’s ready for a serious commitment.

He already has his life figured out! He knows what he wants and where he wants to be. His life is no longer centered on selfish acts but now focused on his little one. He has someone who looks to him for guidance.

7. Be independent.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to have a life outside of your partner. There will be times when he isn’t available. When he’s spending alone time with his child, you should be out with friends or enjoying some me time. That way you’re not sitting around…feeling left out or neglected.

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Last Updated on August 16, 2018

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

10 Ways To Step Out Of Your Comfort Zone And Enjoy Taking Risks

The ability to take risks by stepping outside your comfort zone is the primary way by which we grow. But we are often afraid to take that first step.

In truth, comfort zones are not really about comfort, they are about fear. Break the chains of fear to get outside. Once you do, you will learn to enjoy the process of taking risks and growing in the process.

Here are 10 ways to help you step out of your comfort zone and get closer to success:

1. Become aware of what’s outside of your comfort zone

What are the things that you believe are worth doing but are afraid of doing yourself because of the potential for disappointment or failure?

Draw a circle and write those things down outside the circle. This process will not only allow you to clearly identify your discomforts, but your comforts. Write identified comforts inside the circle.

2. Become clear about what you are aiming to overcome

Take the list of discomforts and go deeper. Remember, the primary emotion you are trying to overcome is fear.

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How does this fear apply uniquely to each situation? Be very specific.

Are you afraid of walking up to people and introducing yourself in social situations? Why? Is it because you are insecure about the sound of your voice? Are you insecure about your looks?

Or, are you afraid of being ignored?

3. Get comfortable with discomfort

One way to get outside of your comfort zone is to literally expand it. Make it a goal to avoid running away from discomfort.

Let’s stay with the theme of meeting people in social settings. If you start feeling a little panicked when talking to someone you’ve just met, try to stay with it a little longer than you normally would before retreating to comfort. If you stay long enough and practice often enough, it will start to become less uncomfortable.

4. See failure as a teacher

Many of us are so afraid of failure that we would rather do nothing than take a shot at our dreams.

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Begin to treat failure as a teacher. What did you learn from the experience? How can you take that lesson to your next adventure to increase your chance of success?

Many highly successful people failed plenty of times before they succeeded. Here’re some examples:

10 Famous Failures to Success Stories That Will Inspire You to Carry On

5. Take baby steps

Don’t try to jump outside your comfort zone, you will likely become overwhelmed and jump right back in.

Take small steps toward the fear you are trying to overcome. If you want to do public speaking, start by taking every opportunity to speak to small groups of people. You can even practice with family and friends.

Take a look at this article on how you can start taking baby steps:

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The Number One Secret to Life Success: Baby Steps

6. Hang out with risk takers

There is no substitute for this step. If you want to become better at something, you must start hanging out with the people who are doing what you want to do and start emulating them. (Here’re 8 Reasons Why Risk Takers Are More Likely To Be Successful).

Almost inevitably, their influence will start have an effect on your behavior.

7. Be honest with yourself when you are trying to make excuses

Don’t say “Oh, I just don’t have the time for this right now.” Instead, be honest and say “I am afraid to do this.”

Don’t make excuses, just be honest. You will be in a better place to confront what is truly bothering you and increase your chance of moving forward.

8. Identify how stepping out will benefit you

What will the ability to engage in public speaking do for your personal and professional growth? Keep these potential benefits in mind as motivations to push through fear.

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9. Don’t take yourself too seriously

Learn to laugh at yourself when you make mistakes. Risk taking will inevitably involve failure and setbacks that will sometimes make you look foolish to others. Be happy to roll with the punches when others poke fun.

If you aren’t convinced yet, check out these 6 Reasons Not to Take Life So Seriously.

10. Focus on the fun

Enjoy the process of stepping outside your safe boundaries. Enjoy the fun of discovering things about yourself that you may not have been aware of previously.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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