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7 Things You Should Know About Dating Guys Who Have Kids

7 Things You Should Know About Dating Guys Who Have Kids

You’re back on the dating scene and met this wonderful guy. You get the impression you met someone who’s serious and hoping to settling down someday. You like him…I mean really like him. He’s given you hope and opened a door you once closed. He has a nice job, his own place, a car in his driveway and surprise…he has a kid. Dating is already complicated and when you add a kid to the mix, it can be a recipe for drama.
Here are a few tips about dating a guy with a child…

1. His kid comes first.

As it should be! His child should ALWAYS be number one. He has a responsibility and an obligation to uphold. If you’re dating someone who’s child doesn’t come first…he isn’t the one for you! One thing you’ll learn about dating a guy with a child is things will not go as planned. His child may get sick during a date or he will cancel plans because he needs a babysitter. Anything can come up and it’s important for you to realize that you’re not the only person in his life. Be patient and understanding.

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2. Your relationship may start as a secret.

In the beginning, he may tell no one about you. Don’t worry! He has someone else to think about besides himself. He doesn’t want women walking in and out of his life. He’s smart to take things slow with introductions because a child shouldn’t be involved in the dating process. Stability is important! It’s a good move to make sure things are going well before bringing someone into a child’s life. You don’t want a child to become attached, and that person doesn’t stick around for the long haul.

3. His ex is here to stay.

Yes, you’ll be reminded of their past together. I know it’s a hard pill to swallow, but it’s something you have to accept. They have a history together and will interact with one another. When dating a guy with kids, there’s no room for jealousy. Those insecurities you held in earlier relationships need to be pushed out of your mind. This isn’t a traditional break-up where the ex is no longer present. Even if you don’t care for her actions, it’s important to respect she’s the mother of his child. Don’t get into any arguments with her. The last thing you want is to add unnecessary stress. The communication between them is for the sake of their kid. Trust your man and keep faith in your relationship!

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4. Emergencies will come up.

As soon as you guys are all dressed up and ready to go…he gets a call. It’s his child’s mother, and she needs him to give them a ride. You’ve waited all week for this night and it will not happen. I know you’re disappointed, but it comes with the package. If you had things your way most of your life, it’s time to change. It’s no longer about you! When you date someone with a child, you’re agreeing to accept all that comes with it. Think hard and ask yourself if you’re ready for this commitment.

5. Pace yourself.

Don’t rush into things! It’s okay to take your time and pace yourself. Eventually, you’ll meet his child. You hope to form a bond because you care for this man. His child extends him, so it’s a valuable relationship you’re entering.

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6. He’s ready for a serious commitment.

He already has his life figured out! He knows what he wants and where he wants to be. His life is no longer centered on selfish acts but now focused on his little one. He has someone who looks to him for guidance.

7. Be independent.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to have a life outside of your partner. There will be times when he isn’t available. When he’s spending alone time with his child, you should be out with friends or enjoying some me time. That way you’re not sitting around…feeling left out or neglected.

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Last Updated on February 13, 2019

10 Things Happy People Do Differently

10 Things Happy People Do Differently

Think being happy is something that happens as a result of luck, circumstance, having money, etc.? Think again.

Happiness is a mindset. And if you’re looking to improve your ability to find happiness, then check out these 10 things happy people do differently.

Happiness is not something ready made. It comes from your own actions. -Dalai Lama

1. Happy people find balance in their lives.

Folks who are happy have this in common: they’re content with what they have, and don’t waste a whole lot of time worrying and stressing over things they don’t. Unhappy people do the opposite: they spend too much time thinking about what they don’t have. Happy people lead balanced lives. This means they make time for all the things that are important to them, whether it’s family, friends, career, health, religion, etc.

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2. Happy people abide by the golden rule.

You know that saying you heard when you were a kid, “Do unto others as you would have them do to you.” Well, happy people truly embody this principle. They treat others with respect. They’re sensitive to the thoughts and feelings of other people. They’re compassionate. And they get treated this way (most of the time) in return.

3. Happy people don’t sweat the small stuff.

One of the biggest things happy people do differently compared to unhappy people is they let stuff go. Bad things happen to good people sometimes. Happy people realize this, are able to take things in stride, and move on. Unhappy people tend to dwell on minor inconveniences and issues, which can perpetuate feelings of sadness, guilt, resentment, greed, and anger.

4. Happy people take responsibility for their actions.

Happy people aren’t perfect, and they’re well aware of that. When they screw up, they admit it. They recognize their faults and work to improve on them. Unhappy people tend to blame others and always find an excuse why things aren’t going their way. Happy people, on the other hand, live by the mantra:

“There are two types of people in the world: those that do and those that make excuses why they don’t.”

5. Happy people surround themselves with other happy people.

happiness surrounding

    One defining characteristic of happy people is they tend to hang out with other happy people. Misery loves company, and unhappy people gravitate toward others who share their negative sentiments. If you’re struggling with a bout of sadness, depression, worry, or anger, spend more time with your happiest friends or family members. Chances are, you’ll find that their positive attitude rubs off on you.

    6. Happy people are honest with themselves and others.

    People who are happy often exhibit the virtues of honesty and trustworthiness. They would rather give you candid feedback, even when the truth hurts, and they expect the same in return. Happy people respect people who give them an honest opinion.

    7. Happy people show signs of happiness.

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    smile

      This one may sound obvious but it’s a key differentiator between happy and unhappy people. Think about your happiest friends. Chances are, the mental image you form is of them smiling, laughing, and appearing genuinely happy. On the flip side, those who aren’t happy tend to look the part. Their posture may be slouched and you may perceive a lack of confidence.

      8. Happy people are passionate.

      Another thing happy people have in common is their ability to find their passions in life and pursue those passions to the fullest. Happy people have found what they’re looking for, and they spend their time doing what they love.

      9. Happy people see challenges as opportunities.

      Folks who are happy accept challenges and use them as opportunities to learn and grow. They turn negatives into positives and make the best out of seemingly bad situations. They don’t dwell on things that are out of their control; rather, they seek solutions and creative ways of overcoming obstacles.

      10. Happy people live in the present.

      While unhappy people tend to dwell on the past and worry about the future, happy people live in the moment. They are grateful for “the now” and focus their efforts on living life to the fullest in the present. Their philosophy is:

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      There’s a reason it’s called “the present.” Because life is a gift.

      So if you’d like to bring a little more happiness into your life, think about the 10 principles above and how you can use them to make yourself better.

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