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7 Things You Should Know About Dating Guys Who Have Kids

7 Things You Should Know About Dating Guys Who Have Kids

You’re back on the dating scene and met this wonderful guy. You get the impression you met someone who’s serious and hoping to settling down someday. You like him…I mean really like him. He’s given you hope and opened a door you once closed. He has a nice job, his own place, a car in his driveway and surprise…he has a kid. Dating is already complicated and when you add a kid to the mix, it can be a recipe for drama.
Here are a few tips about dating a guy with a child…

1. His kid comes first.

As it should be! His child should ALWAYS be number one. He has a responsibility and an obligation to uphold. If you’re dating someone who’s child doesn’t come first…he isn’t the one for you! One thing you’ll learn about dating a guy with a child is things will not go as planned. His child may get sick during a date or he will cancel plans because he needs a babysitter. Anything can come up and it’s important for you to realize that you’re not the only person in his life. Be patient and understanding.

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2. Your relationship may start as a secret.

In the beginning, he may tell no one about you. Don’t worry! He has someone else to think about besides himself. He doesn’t want women walking in and out of his life. He’s smart to take things slow with introductions because a child shouldn’t be involved in the dating process. Stability is important! It’s a good move to make sure things are going well before bringing someone into a child’s life. You don’t want a child to become attached, and that person doesn’t stick around for the long haul.

3. His ex is here to stay.

Yes, you’ll be reminded of their past together. I know it’s a hard pill to swallow, but it’s something you have to accept. They have a history together and will interact with one another. When dating a guy with kids, there’s no room for jealousy. Those insecurities you held in earlier relationships need to be pushed out of your mind. This isn’t a traditional break-up where the ex is no longer present. Even if you don’t care for her actions, it’s important to respect she’s the mother of his child. Don’t get into any arguments with her. The last thing you want is to add unnecessary stress. The communication between them is for the sake of their kid. Trust your man and keep faith in your relationship!

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4. Emergencies will come up.

As soon as you guys are all dressed up and ready to go…he gets a call. It’s his child’s mother, and she needs him to give them a ride. You’ve waited all week for this night and it will not happen. I know you’re disappointed, but it comes with the package. If you had things your way most of your life, it’s time to change. It’s no longer about you! When you date someone with a child, you’re agreeing to accept all that comes with it. Think hard and ask yourself if you’re ready for this commitment.

5. Pace yourself.

Don’t rush into things! It’s okay to take your time and pace yourself. Eventually, you’ll meet his child. You hope to form a bond because you care for this man. His child extends him, so it’s a valuable relationship you’re entering.

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6. He’s ready for a serious commitment.

He already has his life figured out! He knows what he wants and where he wants to be. His life is no longer centered on selfish acts but now focused on his little one. He has someone who looks to him for guidance.

7. Be independent.

I can’t stress enough how important it is to have a life outside of your partner. There will be times when he isn’t available. When he’s spending alone time with his child, you should be out with friends or enjoying some me time. That way you’re not sitting around…feeling left out or neglected.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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