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Happy Couples Don’t Do Great Things For The Other, But They Have These 11 Small Habits

Happy Couples Don’t Do Great Things For The Other, But They Have These 11 Small Habits

Against popular opinion, what makes happy couples thrive are in the details. The little things does matter, and such small habits are strong and bonding enough to define how far a relationship can go.

1. Going out together

They take a night out every now and then. They find relevance in courting and spending the night together in somewhere special. Such activity keeps the spark of the relationship alive.

2. Putting their phones away

They are willing to listen to each other and connect with each other on a deeper level. Yes, we all want to check that new email or message, but technology can be a distraction to a healthy relationship. Happy couples are willing to put their gadgets away and listen to what is being said.

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3. They go to bed together

They don’t just sleep in the same bed together, they express their feelings for each other in the process. They would cuddle and sleep next to each other. They know that going to bed together matters as they can talk and show each other affection.

4. Saying “I love you”

They express their feelings for each other often. In the morning and before they go to bed they remind each other of how they feel. When said in the morning, “I love you” infuses some tolerance and patience as they both go out to face the world at work.

5. Expressing pride by showing off their partners

Happy couples want to show each other off. They let the world know how wonderful they are. They don’t mind doing this in a warm and affectionate manner by holding each other’s hand or putting their hand on the other person’s shoulder.

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6. Walking together

Happy couples walk together, hand in hand or side by side. They do not allow the other partner dragging or lagging behind, rather they appreciate walking together and being within each other’s sight. This signals comfort, strength and love.

7. Cultivating common interests

They enjoy certain interests together. It could be swimming, skiing, or hiking. What matters is that they try to tap into the few interests they have in common and amplify them. Even when common interests are not present, they do well to develop them. This will make couples more reliant and interesting to each other.

8. Communicating

This means that they do not nag at each other or become a pain for the other person. Through communication, they can express their feelings appropriately. If one person is upset, he/she can express themselves and let the other person aware of their discomfort. Regular communication breeds an understanding and harmonious relationship.

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9. Appreciating each other

Phrases like “thank you,” “you are a darling,” “what will I do without you?” are often said by happy couples. They do well to appreciate each other and make the other person feel relevant in the relationship. Showing such appreciation makes the other person feel wanted and show that you are polite and courteous.

10. Surprising each other

A relationship could become drab and boring if you continue repeating the same activities together. Happy couples learn to break such routines and become creative in the process. This is why they surprise each other and come with something out of the norm to please their partners. Spontaneity and unpredictability can indeed be fun.

11. Hugging and kissing each other before and after work

Our skin has a memory of that “good touch.” If you offer your partner that warmth through a hug or kiss, it tends to stick with them for the rest of the day or even the night. Doing well to brighten their partner’s spirit, happy couples do well to offer each other that “good touch.”

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Featured photo credit: http://www.pixabay.com via pixabay.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on August 6, 2020

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

6 Reasons Why You Should Think Before You Speak

We’ve all done it. That moment when a series of words slithers from your mouth and the instant regret manifests through blushing and profuse apologies. If you could just think before you speak! It doesn’t have to be like this, and with a bit of practice, it’s actually quite easy to prevent.

“Think twice before you speak, because your words and influence will plant the seed of either success or failure in the mind of another.” – Napolean Hill

Are we speaking the same language?

My mum recently left me a note thanking me for looking after her dog. She’d signed it with “LOL.” In my world, this means “laugh out loud,” and in her world it means “lots of love.” My kids tell me things are “sick” when they’re good, and ”manck” when they’re bad (when I say “bad,” I don’t mean good!). It’s amazing that we manage to communicate at all.

When speaking, we tend to color our language with words and phrases that have become personal to us, things we’ve picked up from our friends, families and even memes from the internet. These colloquialisms become normal, and we expect the listener (or reader) to understand “what we mean.” If you really want the listener to understand your meaning, try to use words and phrases that they might use.

Am I being lazy?

When you’ve been in a relationship for a while, a strange metamorphosis takes place. People tend to become lazier in the way that they communicate with each other, with less thought for the feelings of their partner. There’s no malice intended; we just reach a “comfort zone” and know that our partners “know what we mean.”

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Here’s an exchange from Psychology Today to demonstrate what I mean:

Early in the relationship:

“Honey, I don’t want you to take this wrong, but I’m noticing that your hair is getting a little thin on top. I know guys are sensitive about losing their hair, but I don’t want someone else to embarrass you without your expecting it.”

When the relationship is established:

“Did you know that you’re losing a lot of hair on the back of your head? You’re combing it funny and it doesn’t help. Wear a baseball cap or something if you feel weird about it. Lots of guys get thin on top. It’s no big deal.”

It’s pretty clear which of these statements is more empathetic and more likely to be received well. Recognizing when we do this can be tricky, but with a little practice it becomes easy.

Have I actually got anything to say?

When I was a kid, my gran used to say to me that if I didn’t have anything good to say, I shouldn’t say anything at all. My gran couldn’t stand gossip, so this makes total sense, but you can take this statement a little further and modify it: “If you don’t have anything to say, then don’t say anything at all.”

A lot of the time, people speak to fill “uncomfortable silences,” or because they believe that saying something, anything, is better than staying quiet. It can even be a cause of anxiety for some people.

When somebody else is speaking, listen. Don’t wait to speak. Listen. Actually hear what that person is saying, think about it, and respond if necessary.

Am I painting an accurate picture?

One of the most common forms of miscommunication is the lack of a “referential index,” a type of generalization that fails to refer to specific nouns. As an example, look at these two simple phrases: “Can you pass me that?” and “Pass me that thing over there!”. How often have you said something similar?

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How is the listener supposed to know what you mean? The person that you’re talking to will start to fill in the gaps with something that may very well be completely different to what you mean. You’re thinking “pass me the salt,” but you get passed the pepper. This can be infuriating for the listener, and more importantly, can create a lack of understanding and ultimately produce conflict.

Before you speak, try to label people, places and objects in a way that it is easy for any listeners to understand.

What words am I using?

It’s well known that our use of nouns and verbs (or lack of them) gives an insight into where we grew up, our education, our thoughts and our feelings.

Less well known is that the use of pronouns offers a critical insight into how we emotionally code our sentences. James Pennebaker’s research in the 1990’s concluded that function words are important keys to someone’s psychological state and reveal much more than content words do.

Starting a sentence with “I think…” demonstrates self-focus rather than empathy with the speaker, whereas asking the speaker to elaborate or quantify what they’re saying clearly shows that you’re listening and have respect even if you disagree.

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Is the map really the territory?

Before speaking, we sometimes construct a scenario that makes us act in a way that isn’t necessarily reflective of the actual situation.

A while ago, John promised to help me out in a big way with a project that I was working on. After an initial meeting and some big promises, we put together a plan and set off on its execution. A week or so went by, and I tried to get a hold of John to see how things were going. After voice mails and emails with no reply and general silence, I tried again a week later and still got no response.

I was frustrated and started to get more than a bit vexed. The project obviously meant more to me than it did to him, and I started to construct all manner of crazy scenarios. I finally got through to John and immediately started a mild rant about making promises you can’t keep. He stopped me in my tracks with the news that his brother had died. If I’d have just thought before I spoke…

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