Advertising
Advertising

8 Things You Should Do Before Making a Public Speech

8 Things You Should Do Before Making a Public Speech

Whether you are addressing a classroom, the nation, a board of directors, or an award show audience, making a public speech is an art based on translating your message to the audience in front of you. If you truly know your message, your audience will understand it. If you believe in your message, some of your audience will undoubtedly agree.

The topics and the audience may differ, but the concept doesn’t – at least not entirely. That core concept ensures identical preparation steps prior to making any type of speech to any audience.

Here are the before-and-after essentials of making a public speech. Everything you aim to project must be in you before starting your speech.

Advertising

1. Respect your audience!

This rule applies before and during your speech. Facing your audience with the best of intentions will ensure those intentions to be successfully translated to them. Whether or not you realize it, respecting your audience will allow for your speech to be interesting, engaging, and stimulating as you will truly want to connect with them. Respect your audience for simply being there to hear what you have to say. This will automatically prompt you to give them their money’s worth. You will stand in front of them, motivated to reach them, and will ultimately connect with them even more than you’d expected.

Always start from the least knowledgeable members of the audience, when faced with a mix of people. Bring the topic of your speech closer to them by keeping it simple and working your way up to the complicated points you want to make. That way, everyone will understand you even better.

2. Locate your feelings.

Your feelings about the topic of your speech can and will influence your vocal projection. Your voice is an instrument that can evoke emotion in the members of your audience by conveying your own. Knowing how you feel about the topic of your speech and what you want to achieve with it precedes your vocal projection. Is the topic of your speech a learning experience? An experience with illness? Are you accepting an award and giving credits to those who helped you along the way? In keeping with your topic, is it your goal to inform others, raise awareness, or express gratitude? Whatever it may be, your goal and tone should align. You don’t want to give an emotionless speech!

Advertising

3. Be proud of yourself!

Everyone knows that the art of public speaking simply demands confidence; however, being proud of yourself for giving this speech in the first place will boost your confidence to a new level. You have been given an opportunity to convey a message to an audience who could remember your words for a long time to come if you make it powerful. Besides, isn’t that what you really want?

4. Match your appearance to your attitude.

Whether you like it or not, your appearance can help or hinder the point you are trying to make with your speech. You’re trying to sell a conclusion. If you look great, you will feel amazing. If you manage to look appealing, tastefully striking, fresh, or styled to perfection, you will experience another confidence boost. Wowing others with your appearance, especially when standing up in front of them to speak, can only be a good thing.

5. Be comfortable with your material.

Although it sounds self-explanatory, the importance of this particular point could not be overemphasized. You must believe in the quality of your material. If you do, your audience will agree, even if they relate to your speech in the ways you never imagined.

Advertising

However, what does that mean regarding the nature of your speech? If you’re giving a presentation, organize your notes as well as you can and remember every relevant piece of information. If you’re talking about yourself, be as honest as you feel comfortable being. You will achieve the desired connection with your audience in this way.

6. Relax!

Your confidence can lead to relaxation and vice versa. Use one to find the other or just enjoy them both. Relaxation leads to spontaneity when you know your lines, so to speak. Spontaneity can also add great quality to your speech. A relaxed approach will engage your audience more than you might realize before starting your speech. If you are relaxed, they will be too. They will develop an interest in the topic you are presenting and immediately have questions to ask.

7. Pick a quote.

Choosing (and using) a quote that applies to your presentation in a way that speaks to you will convey the message to your audience. Using someone else’s quote that relates to your material (or yourself) will be a striking addition to your speech.

Advertising

8. Be yourself!

This pivotal idea is just as important to your public speaking as it is in your life. When it comes to public speaking, you have to know what makes you effective. Also, you must assume that you are qualified to make the speech you are about to make. Wondering if you’re good enough will only lead to more wondering instead of enjoying the speech as much as you want your audience to. Take the approach you believe in.

Do you have anything else to add?

Featured photo credit: Man Taking Photo In Crowd Of People/Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

More by this author

Surprising, Money-Saving Ways To Whiten Teeth We Can Be Healthier And Make Ourselves Better Lovers By Feeling Awe, Study Finds His Daughter Is Bullied — What He Does In Response Will Surprise You 8 Things You Should Do Before Making a Public Speech 8 Reasons Why People Who Keep Diaries Are Good Lovers

Trending in Communication

1 How to Improve Intimacy in Your Marriage and Rekindle the Passion 2 Why You Feel Lonely In Your Marriage And How To Deal With It 3 6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of 4 How To Spark A Positive Mood When Feeling Dull 5 5 Reasons You Will Never Be a Fighter

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Published on April 7, 2021

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

Advertising

2. They Make Everything Transactional

Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

Some statements to be wary of include:

Advertising

  • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
  • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
  • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
  • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

3. They Criticize Everything

One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

  • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
  • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
  • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
  • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

Advertising

This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

5. They Socially Isolate You

Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

Advertising

6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

  • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
  • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
  • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
  • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

Final Thoughts

It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

Read Next