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How To Wait For What You Want

How To Wait For What You Want

Classic rocker Tom Petty summed it up when he sang, “The waiting is the hardest part.”

This lyric no doubt resonates with anyone who’s ever had to sit through a period of delayed gratification. Perhaps waiting for a future event or circumstance makes you feel tense or stressed (even if you’re waiting for something exciting to happen). Maybe you fear that you won’t actually get what you want, or that things won’t be as great as you’re imagining they will be. This state is referred to as anticipatory anxiety, wherein you feel anxiety when you think about an event or situation that’s expected to happen in the future. Or maybe waiting feels unbearable simply because—like a kid who can’t sleep on the night before Christmas—you’re really excited for the thing you’re waiting for to happen.

Whatever the nature of your struggle, the fact remains that waiting can be really (really) hard. But the good news is that there are ways to cope with waiting. Help pass the time with any of these five effective strategies.

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Take up a hobby: Time passes more slowly when you’re doing nothing but waiting.

Call it the modified theory of relativity: Time passes more slowly when you’re doing nothing but waiting. Conversely, one of the best ways to kill time—in both the short and long term—is quite simple: Do something with that time.

Now’s your chance to finally learn how to play the guitar, or skateboard, or sew your own clothes. Whenever you catch yourself bemoaning the wait, throw yourself into this new hobby, and the time will seem like it’s passing more quickly. That’s partly because immersing yourself in a creative pursuit can result in what psychologists refer to as “flow,” a state that promotes deep satisfaction and seemingly speeds up the passage of time.

Bonus: Mastering new skills boosts confidence, so you’ll be empowered to tackle any new challenges that arise when you finally get what you’re waiting for.

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Give meditation a try: Cope with anticipatory anxiety

One of the best ways to cope with anticipatory anxiety is to learn how to be wholly present in, well, the present. Practicing meditation for even just a few minutes each day has been shown to reduce stress, improve concentration, boost immunity, improve self-awareness, and increase feelings of contentment. Learn to sit with the moment and appreciate everything you already have, and it will be much easier to wait for whatever’s coming ‘round the bend.

Catch up on sleep: Prepare for what you are waiting for

Millions of Americans are walking around sleep deprived, and odds are good you’re one of them at least some of the time. The consequences of sleep deprivation include memory and cognitive impairment, stress, compromised performance in all facets of your life (from work to relationships), and decreased overall quality of life. Thus, it’s important to catch up on sleep if you actually want to enjoy the thing you’re waiting for when it finally comes to fruition.

Make a point of practicing good sleep hygiene by keeping electronics out of the bedroom, decluttering your sleep area, keeping the room cool and dark, and learning how to combat snoring. While you’re at it, be sure to practice other self-care techniques, like exercising, staying hydrated, consuming adequate nutrients, and cultivating healthy relationships. Taking good care of yourself—and sleeping better as a result—will help you feel sharper in all aspects of your life, so you’re ready for whatever comes your way.

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Beef up your savings: Prepare yourself for change

If you’re anticipating a big life change in the near future, then the odds are good that finances are going to be involved in some way. Prepare for this change by making it a priority to contribute as much as possible to your savings account each month. Increasing your savings will give you peace of mind, reduce stress, and help you look forward to the future with excitement, because you’ll have the means to address challenges and take advantage of new opportunities. It may even be helpful to see if you can pick up some overtime at work—doing so will both help you pad your bank account and provide a distraction while you wait for time to pass.

Take baby steps toward your goals

The misery of waiting often stems from a feeling of powerlessness—if you need something to happen in order to move forward, then it can feel like you’re just running in place until that thing actually comes to fruition. Help beat this feeling by identifying small ways in which you can move toward your goals even without the big event having happened.

Let’s say you’re waiting to move across the country six months from now. Why not spend this time winnowing down your possessions and packing up items that you rarely use? Or perhaps you could research a list of restaurants and activities that you want to check out in your new locale. Taking small steps will help you feel like you’re contributing to the ultimate goal, which will make the time spent waiting seem more productive.

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No matter what you’re waiting for, practicing any or all of these strategies will help make the process of waiting much more bearable. Heck, you may even find that you’re enjoying yourself in the process.

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Kenny Kline

Entrepreneur

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Last Updated on October 22, 2019

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.

With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.

Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.

By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.

So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.

From now on there is nothing we can’t do.

“Attitude is Tattoo”

Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.

If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.

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Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?

Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.

It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.

When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.

Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.

Believe You Can Do It

Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?

It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.

Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.

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Embrace Failure

Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.

Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.

Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.

Start Making the Change

But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.

Why is that?

Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?

It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.

So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.

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Write down What You Want to Change

Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.

Tell a Friend and Talk About It

Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.

When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.

Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word

Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.

Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!

Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.

As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.

Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.

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Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty

When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.

Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.

Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.

Final Thoughts

You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.

The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.

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Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

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