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5 Reasons To Say Honestly, “I Am Unhappy.”

5 Reasons To Say Honestly, “I Am Unhappy.”

I’m fine…I’m good…everything is OK.

These are some of the typical responses we give when someone asks how we’re doing, regardless of how we are actually feeling. When we are truly frustrated, angry, sad, or even depressed, we tend to deny those feelings, both to ourselves and to others.

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When you lost that baseball game, your dad may have told you to “suck it up” and try harder next time. Maybe your well-meaning best friend warned you against having a heart-to-heart with your beau, lest you push him away.

Although you were socialized to believe that you are a burden, weak, or a downer for expressing your feelings, the truth is that talking it out is the first step towards boosting your mood. Here are five reasons why speaking up is the key to your emotional well-being.

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1. You need support from your friends.

When you are feeling low, the last thing you want to do is go out dancing at that new club with your friends. You avoid being social, fearing that you’ll have to lie again when someone asks you how you’re doing. Stop lying and tell them how you really feel! They are your friends, and they want to be there for you. An added benefit is that getting out and having fun may get you out of your emotional rut.

2. Help yourself, help someone else.

Everyone experiences setbacks and challenges that lead to feelings of defeat and discouragement. In fact, someone you know may be going though something tough and also need a shoulder to lean on. When you share your feelings, you invite others to share theirs. You may find yourself giving good advice to a friend or family member, giving you the confidence and motivation to work through your own issues.

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3. Improve your relationship.

Communication is one of the keys to a lasting, healthy relationship. Failing to share your feelings with the one you love is a surefire way to alienate your partner. When you enter a relationship, magical thinking often comes into play where you assume that the other person should know how you’re feeling because they should know you. Your partner may be many things, but a mind reader he is not. If you are not happy with an aspect of your relationship, you must speak up about it. Not only will it liberate you, it will also give the other person a chance to work on the problem with you to improve the relationship.

4. Your health depends on it.

Studies show that bottling up your emotions can have negative effects on your physical health. Wondering why you can’t sleep, eat, or have nagging headaches? It could be because you are stuffing your feelings. In addition to perpetuating your emotional turmoil, keeping mum about your misery can also make you sick. If you have ruled out serious health conditions, you may want to consider opening up to a close friend or loved one about your unhappiness. It could reverse some of those physical symptoms you’ve been having.

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5. You deserve to be happy.

Positive psychology tells us so. But, on a practical level, you really do deserve the same happiness and contentment that others have. Why? Because you are alive! You can make an impact on others’ lives, whether it is on a global scale, in your community, or in the small circle of your family and friends. Stifling your feelings not only robs you of your right to happiness, it also keeps others from having the opportunity to experience the benefit of having a relationship with the real you. Take control of your emotions and share your feelings with someone today!

Featured photo credit: ira-5 via flickr.com

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Malika Boyd

Social Worker

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Last Updated on August 12, 2019

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do

Mentally strong people have healthy habits. They manage their emotions, thoughts, and behaviors in ways that set them up for success in life.

Take a look at these 13 things that mentally strong people don’t do so that you too can become mentally stronger.

1. They Don’t Waste Time Feeling Sorry for Themselves

Mentally strong people don’t sit around feeling sorry about their circumstances or how others have treated them. Instead, they take responsibility for their role in life and understand that life isn’t always easy or fair.

2. They Don’t Give Away Their Power

They don’t allow others to control them, and they don’t give someone else power over them. They don’t say things like, “My boss makes me feel bad,” because they understand that they are in control over their own emotions and they have a choice in how they respond.

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3. They Don’t Shy Away from Change

Mentally strong people don’t try to avoid change. Instead, they welcome positive change and are willing to be flexible. They understand that change is inevitable and believe in their abilities to adapt.

4. They Don’t Waste Energy on Things They Can’t Control

You won’t hear a mentally strong person complaining over lost luggage or traffic jams. Instead, they focus on what they can control in their lives. They recognize that sometimes, the only thing they can control is their attitude.

5. They Don’t Worry About Pleasing Everyone

Mentally strong people recognize that they don’t need to please everyone all the time. They’re not afraid to say no or speak up when necessary. They strive to be kind and fair, but can handle other people being upset if they didn’t make them happy.

6. They Don’t Fear Taking Calculated Risks

They don’t take reckless or foolish risks, but don’t mind taking calculated risks. Mentally strong people spend time weighing the risks and benefits before making a big decision, and they’re fully informed of the potential downsides before they take action.

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7. They Don’t Dwell on the Past

Mentally strong people don’t waste time dwelling on the past and wishing things could be different. They acknowledge their past and can say what they’ve learned from it.

However, they don’t constantly relive bad experiences or fantasize about the glory days. Instead, they live for the present and plan for the future.

8. They Don’t Make the Same Mistakes Over and Over

Mentally strong people accept responsibility for their behavior and learn from their past mistakes. As a result, they don’t keep repeating those mistakes over and over. Instead, they move on and make better decisions in the future.

9. They Don’t Resent Other People’s Success

Mentally strong people can appreciate and celebrate other people’s success in life. They don’t grow jealous or feel cheated when others surpass them. Instead, they recognize that success comes with hard work, and they are willing to work hard for their own chance at success.

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10. They Don’t Give Up After the First Failure

Mentally strong people don’t view failure as a reason to give up. Instead, they use failure as an opportunity to grow and improve. They are willing to keep trying until they get it right.

11. They Don’t Fear Alone Time

Mentally strong people can tolerate being alone and they don’t fear silence. They aren’t afraid to be alone with their thoughts and they can use downtime to be productive.

They enjoy their own company and aren’t dependent on others for companionship and entertainment all the time but instead can be happy alone.

12. They Don’t Feel the World Owes Them Anything

Mentally strong people don’t feel entitled to things in life. They weren’t born with a mentality that others would take care of them or that the world must give them something. Instead, they look for opportunities based on their own merits.

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13. They Don’t Expect Immediate Results

Whether they are working on improving their health or getting a new business off the ground, mentally strong people don’t expect immediate results. Instead, they apply their skills and time to the best of their ability and understand that real change takes time.

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Featured photo credit: Candice Picard via unsplash.com

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