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What It’s Like To Fall In Love With Mr. Maybe Instead Of Mr. Right

What It’s Like To Fall In Love With Mr. Maybe Instead Of Mr. Right

A few years back, I met a guy on a dating site that I thought was the perfect guy for me. He was good-looking, funny, creative, an entrepreneur, and smart. Even though we hadn’t met in person yet, I felt a really strong connection to him. And from my understanding, he felt it too. I honestly thought that he was my soulmate. Turns out, we really weren’t that compatible at all. Even though I knew that he was trouble, I was always making excuses for him when my family saw through him the entire time, but I eventually let him go. He’s the kind of guy that would be considered “Mr. Maybe” instead of “Mr. Right.” How do you know if the guy that you’re with is “Mr. Maybe?” Read this list to find out.

Traits of Mr. Maybe

  1. Maybe he’s not annoyed with you, he just needs some space to think things through.
  2. Maybe he is really excited to meet you one day, he’s just been super busy.
  3. Maybe he was listening to you; he just didn’t know what to say.
  4. Maybe he has no way of transportation, so that’s why he hasn’t met up with you yet.
  5. Maybe he really does want to talk to you at 1 in the morning just to catch up with you.
  6. Maybe he doesn’t just want you for sex, it’s just been so long since he’s been in a relationship.
  7. Maybe he really does love you; he just doesn’t want to get hurt again in the long run and doesn’t know how to show his love for you.
  8. Maybe he doesn’t want to continue with a long distance relationship and that’s why he doesn’t call or text as much.
  9. Maybe he really is trying his best to show you that he cares.
  10. Maybe he will be available to hang out with you sometime this week, depending on his schedule.
  11. Maybe he doesn’t mind your clothes, skin color, hair, or body type; he just wants you to change a few minor things.
  12. Maybe he is intimidated by your looks or talents and doesn’t feel worthy of your presence.
  13. Maybe he won’t say, “I love you” anymore because he wants to take things slower.
  14. Maybe his family really needs him right now, so he can’t talk to you as much.
  15. Maybe he got distracted by something or someone and forgot to call or text you.
  16. Maybe he doesn’t want to hold your hand until things are “official.”
  17. Maybe he does respect your beliefs and wishes, he just wants you to see and understand his point of view too.
  18. Maybe he thinks you’d be an amazing girlfriend, he just doesn’t believe he deserves you.
  19. Maybe he’s not ready for someone like you to love him.
  20. Maybe he does want to settle down with you, now is just not the right time.

It’s been almost two years since the last time I spoke with “Mr. Maybe,” and I feel like my life has been a lot happier without him. Whenever I tried to make contact with him again, things ended the same way each time – he would ghost me and I wouldn’t hear from him for months. I made the mistake of ignoring all the red flags I saw in the very beginning of the relationship; I was settling because I was so desperate for someone to love me. My advice to anyone reading this is to never ignore red flags or settle for less. You don’t have to be desperate for someone to love you; you are amazing just the way you are. You deserve better.

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Featured photo credit: Calvin Lee via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 15, 2018

Why Helping Others Actually Helps Yourself

Why Helping Others Actually Helps Yourself

Helping others: it’s a fundamental part of humanity, bonding together and helping a fellow man or woman. In times of tragedy, the stories of those who help others are inspiring, such as helping the nation recover from national disasters and terrorist attacks. Some men and women even devote their lives to helping others, from the police force that protects our cities, to the fire departments who run into burning buildings, to the service men and women who risk their lives for the common good.

“No one has ever become poor by giving.” ― Anne Frank, diary of Anne Frank

But helping others isn’t limited to these grand gestures or times of tribulation. Helping others can be done each and every day. And contrary to what you may have heard, helping others doesn’t always have to be a selfless act. It’s important to understand that helping others can actually help yourself. No matter what the motivation, getting out and helping others is the key. So in that spirit of motivation, here are 5 reasons why helping others actually helps yourself.

1. Quid Pro Quo

When you help someone, they will be more likely to help you. This is the basic, unspoken agreement that fuels nearly every move. I’ll spend my entire day lugging boxes, but you owe me. It’s much easier to find help when someone knows you’d do the same for them. They may not always live up to their end of the bargin, and you may not either. But if you help enough people and do many good deeds, it will be given back when needed.

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2. Karma goes both ways.

All too often, the idea of Karma is described in a negative way. If you do bad, bad will come find you. But it works the other way too. When you are a good person and help people, good things seem to happen. And while you may not believe in an inter-connected universe that rewards good deeds, there is something to be said about how helping others changes your perspective. When you’re helping others, you will often feel better about yourself, increasing the likelihood that your next experience will be a positive one, rather than a negative one.

3. Doing good feels good.

It’s maybe the most cited benefit of doing good: you’ll feel great. Helping others is a great way to feel better about yourself. Seeing a smile or even tears of joy makes it all worth it. It’s as simple as that.

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4. Good publicity is the best publicity.

People notice when you’re doing good. It may not be the reason you help out, but someone is always watching. Even the simplest gesture can make an awesome impression.

When I was in college, I had a class that helped out at a school for a full day. I worked with a small group of high school students who were incredibly interested in writing, and I had a great time. I asked the teacher if I could come back on my own time and work with these students to finish this project we were working on, to which she agreed.

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I went two more times that week, thinking nothing more about it. Fast forward a few weeks: I received a letter in the mail stating I had been chosen as a Presidential Grant Recipient for the summer and received a $2,000 stipend to work with a group of students and professors on a research project over the summer. I was floored, as I hadn’t even applied. I was nominated by that teacher who appreciated the work I did with her students. It wasn’t expected, but helping others ended up opening a door I never would have known was even available.

5. Helping others looks good on a resume or application.

Is your resume looking a little thin? Does your college application need a bit of pizzaz? Volunteering your time and energy to help others makes your resume and applications look as good as it makes you feel. Hiring managers look favorably on volunteer work and many acceptance committees use it to separate similar candidates. So read to some first graders, volunteer at the homeless shelter, and volunteer at your local Boys and Girl Club. Your resume will thank you.

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Featured photo credit: xavi talleda via flickr.com

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