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What It’s Like To Fall In Love With Mr. Maybe Instead Of Mr. Right

What It’s Like To Fall In Love With Mr. Maybe Instead Of Mr. Right

A few years back, I met a guy on a dating site that I thought was the perfect guy for me. He was good-looking, funny, creative, an entrepreneur, and smart. Even though we hadn’t met in person yet, I felt a really strong connection to him. And from my understanding, he felt it too. I honestly thought that he was my soulmate. Turns out, we really weren’t that compatible at all. Even though I knew that he was trouble, I was always making excuses for him when my family saw through him the entire time, but I eventually let him go. He’s the kind of guy that would be considered “Mr. Maybe” instead of “Mr. Right.” How do you know if the guy that you’re with is “Mr. Maybe?” Read this list to find out.

Traits of Mr. Maybe

  1. Maybe he’s not annoyed with you, he just needs some space to think things through.
  2. Maybe he is really excited to meet you one day, he’s just been super busy.
  3. Maybe he was listening to you; he just didn’t know what to say.
  4. Maybe he has no way of transportation, so that’s why he hasn’t met up with you yet.
  5. Maybe he really does want to talk to you at 1 in the morning just to catch up with you.
  6. Maybe he doesn’t just want you for sex, it’s just been so long since he’s been in a relationship.
  7. Maybe he really does love you; he just doesn’t want to get hurt again in the long run and doesn’t know how to show his love for you.
  8. Maybe he doesn’t want to continue with a long distance relationship and that’s why he doesn’t call or text as much.
  9. Maybe he really is trying his best to show you that he cares.
  10. Maybe he will be available to hang out with you sometime this week, depending on his schedule.
  11. Maybe he doesn’t mind your clothes, skin color, hair, or body type; he just wants you to change a few minor things.
  12. Maybe he is intimidated by your looks or talents and doesn’t feel worthy of your presence.
  13. Maybe he won’t say, “I love you” anymore because he wants to take things slower.
  14. Maybe his family really needs him right now, so he can’t talk to you as much.
  15. Maybe he got distracted by something or someone and forgot to call or text you.
  16. Maybe he doesn’t want to hold your hand until things are “official.”
  17. Maybe he does respect your beliefs and wishes, he just wants you to see and understand his point of view too.
  18. Maybe he thinks you’d be an amazing girlfriend, he just doesn’t believe he deserves you.
  19. Maybe he’s not ready for someone like you to love him.
  20. Maybe he does want to settle down with you, now is just not the right time.

It’s been almost two years since the last time I spoke with “Mr. Maybe,” and I feel like my life has been a lot happier without him. Whenever I tried to make contact with him again, things ended the same way each time – he would ghost me and I wouldn’t hear from him for months. I made the mistake of ignoring all the red flags I saw in the very beginning of the relationship; I was settling because I was so desperate for someone to love me. My advice to anyone reading this is to never ignore red flags or settle for less. You don’t have to be desperate for someone to love you; you are amazing just the way you are. You deserve better.

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Featured photo credit: Calvin Lee via flickr.com

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Jamisha Pettis

Freelancer

Science Says Screaming Is Good For You What It’s Like To Fall In Love With Mr. Maybe Instead Of Mr. Right

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Last Updated on October 22, 2019

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

How to Get “I Can’t Do It” Out of Your Vocabulary

When someone says, “I can’t do it” . . . I say to myself, “What do you mean you can’t do it?” Maybe you don’t want to do it, but saying you “can’t” do it is a completely different story.

With the right mindset, positive attitude, and a clear vision of what you want to accomplish, the only thing that is holding you back is yourself.

Can’t is a terrible word and it has to be taken out of your vocabulary.

By saying you can’t do something, you’re already doubting yourself, submitting to defeat, and you’re making that barrier around your life tighter.

So today, right now, we are going to remove this word for good.

From now on there is nothing we can’t do.

“Attitude is Tattoo”

Your attitude is everything; it’s your reason, your why and how, your facial expression, emotions, body language, and potentially the end result. How you approach an opportunity, and the result of it, is solely based on you — not your boss or your co-worker or friend.

If you enter a business meeting with a sour attitude, that negative energy can spread like wildfire. People can also feel it — maybe even taste it. This is not an impression you want to leave.

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Now imagine you enter a business meeting with a positive attitude, that whatever happens in here is going to be your result, in your control, not someone else’s. Of course, we can’t always win, but even if the outcome is negative, your attitude and perception can turn it into a positive. The question is: can you do it?

Of course you can, because there is nothing in this world you can’t do.

It’s much better to be known for your positive attitude — your poise, your energy, the reason why things go so well because you are able to maintain such character. A negative attitude is easy. It’s easy to complain, it’s easy to be mad, and it’s even easier to do nothing to change it.

When I say your “attitude is tattoo”, it sounds permanent. Tattoos can be removed, but that’s not the point. Your attitude is like a tattoo because you wear it. People can see it and sometimes, they will judge you on it. If you maintain a negative attitude, then it is permanent until you change it.

Change your attitude and I guarantee the results change as well.

Believe You Can Do It

Do you know why most people say “can’t” and doubt themselves before trying anything?

It’s our lack of self-confidence and fear on many different levels. The one thing we have to purge from ourselves is fear — fear of bad results, fear of change, fear of denial, fear of loss, the fear that makes us worry and lose sleep. Worrying is the same as going outside with an umbrella, waiting for rain to hit it. Stop worrying and move on.

Confidence is fragile: It builds up slowly, but can shatter like glass. Project your confidence and energy into believing in yourself. This is a very important and groundbreaking step — one that is usually the hardest to take. Start telling yourself you can do something, anything, and you will do it the best to your ability. Remove doubt, remove fear, and stick with positive energy.

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Embrace Failure

Do not fear failure. Do not run away from it. Face it, learn from it, grow, and take action. Just remember: You will never know success if you have never failed.

Your confidence will bolster after embracing these facts. You will be immune to demoralizing results, and instead you will find ways to fix it, improve upon it, and make it better than before. You will learn to never say “can’t,” and will realize how many more opportunities you can create by removing that one word.

Don’t let one simple and ugly word plague your confidence. You’re better and stronger than that.

Start Making the Change

But to actually start the process of change is very challenging.

Why is that?

Fear? Time? Don’t know how — or where — to start?

It’s hard because what we’re doing is unlearning what we know. We are used to doing things a certain way, and chances are we’ve been doing them for years.

So here are some ways that I avoid using the word “can’t”, and actually take the steps to put forth the change that I wish to see. I hope you can incorporate these methods into your life.

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Write down What You Want to Change

Write it on post-its, notecards, whatever makes you comfortable — something you will always see. I usually write mine on post-its and put them all over the wall behind my monitor so I always see them.

Tell a Friend and Talk About It

Discussing your goals, what you want to change, is very effective when you say it out loud and tell another person other than yourself. It’s almost like saying, hey, I bet I can do it — watch me.

When you fulfill that goal and tell your friend, it feels rewarding and will motivate you to do it again in a different aspect. Who knows? Maybe your friend adopts the same mindset as you.

Stop Yourself from Saying the Forbidden Word

Sometimes,I can’t control myself in public when I’m with friends, so I have to be careful with the words I use so I don’t embarrass or insult anyone.

Treat the word “can’t” as the worst word you can possibly use. Stop yourself from saying it, mid-sentence if you must, and turn your whole perspective around — you can do it, you will do it, and nothing is impossible!

Repetition, Repetition, Repetition

You think this change will be overnight? No way. This is a practice. Something you’re going to be doing for the rest of your life from now until forever.

As I said earlier, you are unlearning what you know. You know how easy it is to say you can’t do something, so by unlearning this easy practice, you’re self-disciplining yourself to live without boundaries.

Practice this everyday, a little at a time, and before you know it, the word can’t will not be part of your language.

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Do Anything That Can Relieve Your Uncertainty

When I catch myself saying I can’t do something or I don’t know something, looking up information on that action or subject, doing research, educating yourself, relieves that uncertainty.

Sometimes, we think we can’t do something because the whole idea of it seems too large. We skip the small steps in our head and only focus on the end.

Before you say you can’t do something, rewind and slow down a little bit. Focus on what the first step is, then the next. Take it a step at a time, and before you know it you will have done something you previously thought you couldn’t do.

Final Thoughts

You know what you must do. The first step is right now. Once you begin this habit, and really start noticing some change, you’ll realize the door to opportunity is everywhere.

The funny thing is: Those doors have always been there. The evil word that we no longer use put a veil over our eyes because that’s how powerful that word is.

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Featured photo credit: Cata via unsplash.com

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