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3 Things Parents Can Do to Prevent Bullying

3 Things Parents Can Do to Prevent Bullying

Bullying can ruin a child’s self-esteem. However, we parents are not helpless when our child comes home upset about being a target. The first step to prevent bullying starts with building your own emotional intelligence skills. Unlike IQ, which we are born with, emotional intelligence or “EQ” (emotional quotient) can be increased by some simple exercises. The simple definition of emotional intelligence is being smart with emotions.

Here are three ways to learn about your emotional reactions so you can be a good model for your kids.

1. Know Yourself

Knowing yourself is about increasing self-awareness, as well as recognizing patterns and feelings. It helps you understand what “makes people tick”.

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Encourage your kids to be curious about their emotions and those of others. This will help develop the ability to accurately recognize and appropriately express emotions. Emotional literacy can facilitate greater understanding, bridge differing viewpoints, and prevent kids from ostracizing and dehumanizing others.

One way to practice emotional literacy with your kids is with a mirror, piece of paper, and pencil. Take turns picking and expressing an emotion, observe the facial expression in your mirror, then (from memory) draw a picture of that emotion. Warning: the exercise may lead to lots of laughter.

2. Choose Yourself

This is about building self-management and self-direction. It’s the ability to consciously choose your thoughts, feelings, and actions.

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We can teach our children to apply consequential thinking. This is the ability to pause and assess the influence of feelings so that we are careful about our choices. Help your kids learn to ask themselves what will happen if they act in a certain way. For example, if I hit the bully back, what will happen next?

When we teach kids to engage their intrinsic motivation, they respond and act on their own feelings rather than those of other people. This inner compass will take years to develop, but it starts with something as simple as letting the mismatched socks go to school! For kids to believe that they can shape the world around them, they need to practice with making decisions from early in life. As Babara Colorosso, author of The Bully, Bullied and the Bystander suggests, one of the most critical life messages that we should send our kids is, “I have agency in my life.”

Practice optimism. Especially for victims of willful acts of meanness, optimism is probably the most powerful EQ skill. Help your children see that adversity is a temporary (T) and isolated (I) situation that can be changed with personal effort (E). Utilizing TIE is an effective way for many kids to deal with adversity in life.

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3. Give Yourself

This is about aligning your daily choices with your larger sense of purpose. It comes from using empathy and the value-based decision-making.

All of us are born with the capacity for empathy. Like any muscle in our body, empathy can be strengthened through intentional practice so that we can turn intentions into habits. Ask your child to imagine how a classmate who is being bullied feels, then explore ways they can respond (you can model this).

Finally, children also need to feel connected to something larger than themselves. Pursuing a noble goal can start with something as simple as connecting to nature. Children can be taught to align their daily choices with the principles and purpose of kindness and service to others. They can participate in pro-social acts, such as sharing, cooperating, or helping, without expecting personal benefit or reward.

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Here’s an applicable quote from the Dali Lama Foundation, “For children to learn kindness, we need to surround them with compassion and kindness. Nurturant environments are rich with acceptance, tolerance and empathy and we can build these environments in the every day places that children live.”

Conclusion

When we parent through consciousness (Know Yourself), choices (Choose Yourself), and connection (Give Yourself), we afford our children and ourselves space to develop the skills of emotional intelligence to prepare them for dealing with the array of adverse situations in their lives.

For free emotional intelligence parenting courses and other resources, please check out 6Seconds.

Featured photo credit: Little Girl in Amusement Park via picjumbo.com

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Published on April 9, 2021

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

Being a mom is not easy. Being a single mom is even more challenging. Having children means you are on the job 24/7. Even while you are sleeping, you are still ready to wake at the slightest peep because that is what moms do.

Moms, especially single moms, need more people cheering them on. Your love and care matter to your kids. You are their superhero. I think single moms are superheroes, too.

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The quotes below are words of encouragement for all of the single moms out there. Keep up the great work! Your hard work will pay off. Someday, they will be grown up and living on their own. Your job will never truly be done as a mom, but you can pat yourself on the back today and every day for doing mom duty day in and day out.

Here are 50 single mom quotes to encourage all the single moms out there.

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  1. “Being raised by a single mother, I learned to appreciate and value independent women.”—Kenny Conley
  2. “As a single mum you’ll discover inner strengths and capabilities you never knew you had.”—Emma-Louise Smith
  3. “One thing I know for sure – this motherhood thing is not for sissies.”—Jennifer Nettles
  4. “Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There’s no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving.”—Gail Tsukiyama
  5. “And one day she discovered that she was fierce and strong, and full of fire and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.”—Mark Anthony
  6. “She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along.”—Margaret Culkin Banning
  7. “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”—Alice Walker
  8. “Everyone has inside of her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be, how much you can love, what you can accomplish, and what your potential is.”—Anne Frank
  9. “Doubt is a killer. You just have to know who you are and what you stand for.”—Jennifer Lopez
  10. “You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are.”—Melissa Etheridge
  11. “Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing.”—Ricki Lake
  12. “You don’t take a class; you’re thrown into motherhood and learn from experience.”—Jennie Finch
  13. “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”—Oprah Winfrey
  14. “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”—Charlotte Brontë
  15. “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”—Nora Ephron
  16. “When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”—Diane Von Furstenberg
  17. “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”—Margaret Thatcher
  18. “Women have discovered that they cannot rely on men’s chivalry to give them justice.”—Helen Keller
  19. “Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles.”—Sharon Jaynes
  20. “Success, they taught me, is built on the foundation of courage, hard work, and individual responsibility. Despite what some would have us believe, success is not built on resentment and fears.”—Susana Martinez
  21. “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”—Maya Angelou
  22. “The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”—Ayn Rand
  23. “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”—Rudyard Kipling
  24. “The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because stuff worked out. They got that way because stuff went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.”—Elizabeth Gilbert
  25. “There will be so many times you feel like you failed. But in the eyes, ears, and mind of your child, you are a SUPER MOM.”—Stephanie Precourt
  26. “Motherhood is the ultimate call to sacrifice.”—Wangechi Mutu
  27. “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”—Maya Angelou
  28. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  29. “There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”—Jill Churchill
  30. “There’s no doubt that motherhood is the best thing in my life. It’s all that really matters.”—Courtney Cox
  31. “I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.”—Mitch Albom
  32. “I have found being a mother has made me emotionally raw in many situations. Your heart is beating outside your body when you have a baby.”—Kate Beckinsale
  33. “Single moms, you are a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a maid, a cook, a referee, a heroine, a provider, a defender, a protector, a true Superwoman. Wear your cape proudly.”—Mandy Hale
  34. “I’m not really single. I mean, I am, but I have a son. Being a single mother is different from being a single woman.”—Kate Hudson
  35. “Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love, and twice the pride.”—Unknown
  36. “For me, motherhood is learning about the strengths I didn’t know I had, and dealing with the fears I didn’t know existed.”—Halle Berry
  37. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things… a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Denice Williams
  38. “You do the best you can. Some days you feel really good about yourself and some days you don’t.”—Katie Holmes
  39. “I would say to any single parent currently feeling the weight of stereotype or stigmatization that I am prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other part of my life.”JK Rowling
  40. “Just because I am a single mother doesn’t mean I cannot be a success.”—Yvonne Kaloki
  41. “I didn’t plan on being a single mom, but you have to deal with the cards you are dealt the best way you can.”—Tichina Arnold
  42. “Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.”—Garrison Keillor
  43. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things, a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Deniece Williams
  44. “Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.”—Meryl Streep
  45. “Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”—Maria Shriver
  46. “Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.”—Cheryl Lacey Donovan
  47. “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”—Agatha Christie
  48. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  49. “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”—W.R. Wallace
  50. “Being a mother is the greatest blessing and the hardest challenge in all of life.”—Dr. Magdalena Battles

Final Thoughts

Single moms are remarkable women. They are to be respected and honored for all that they do. If you know a single mom, then share this article with them. Tell them “you are doing a great job as a single mom.” They need our encouragement and support.

They may be parenting alone, but it is good to let them know that there are people in their life who care for them. We can all be there for the single moms out there. Even if it is just to say, “keep up the great work, you are an amazing woman!”

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If you are a single mom, keep up the good work! You are amazing, and your kids are lucky to have you!

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Featured photo credit: Alexander Dummer via unsplash.com

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