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Are You A Control Freak? Use It To Your Advantage

Are You A Control Freak? Use It To Your Advantage

There are many people who are considered as the controlling type. Everybody has met someone like this at some point in their life – Type A, OCD people or control freaks. On the other hand, there is a completely opposite group of people who just couldn’t care less about things. These labels usually have a negative connotation, as nobody likes being controlled or manipulated by someone else. However, being a control freak doesn’t necessarily mean that you are a bad person.

Think about it, there are many pleasant people out there, but does that make them good by default? Maybe, and maybe not… it depends. Every kind of personality has good and bad sides. It is important to know yourself and work on your bad sides, or to try and use the things which are “negative” to your advantage. Being controlling is undesirable in certain situations, but there are times when it may be mandatory. If you are a control freak, then you’ve come to the right place because today, we will talk about how you can use your personality to your advantage, both personally and professionally.

Use your readiness and creativity

Most control freaks think about everything. We are not just controlling about other people, but about ourselves as well. This is why we are always ready for the things that await us; prepared for all obstacles. Not only that we think about things that await us, but we take even further steps.

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Things like designing situations that might develop, thinking about them, planning your moves and taking all the necessary things in account are not uncommon to people who want to be in control. This quality of yours can give you a key advantage in your career, enabling you to prepare well for job interviews, give creative suggestions at work and never disappoint your boss by breaking deadlines.

Take control of your environment

You don’t enjoy messiness! Period. This is a valuable trait you should definitively look to nourish even further. Nobody loves messy people. Its OK while you are teenager, but as you get older, people will think you are an immature kid. When I was in my early 20s, I used to boss people around, telling them how they are messy and stuff, but on the other hand, I didn’t take care of my own living environment.

Not because I was too lazy to do it, but just because I liked to spend most of my time controlling everyone else, rather than myself. That’s why people despised me. Take that inner voice that demands perfection and use it on yourself to make your living or working space sparkle. However, you need to make sure that you are being smart and efficient about organizing your environment, so that you don’t spend a lot of time on making your office just right, instead of actually doing your job.

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Get the job done

As a control freak you don’t shy away from working hard. This is something you should look to take advantage of, as people are getting lazier and lazier. I personally used this excessive energy to progress in my career and work hard towards brand new promotions and better job positions. Employers love hard workers, and my devotion gave me a key advantage in the workplace, as most of my employers respected me for my hard work; and they rewarded me as well.

Let your tidiness and punctuality shine

Nobody schedules time better than control freaks, and nobody has a tidier office and home. Punctuality and tidiness will earn you quite a few bonus points with your employers and business associates, so feel free to let your controlling inner self shine. The compulsion to have everything just perfect will allow you to spend some time on tidying up, e.g. performing regular rug cleaning and maintenance and ironing your clothes every morning, and ensure that both you and your immediate surroundings look presentable.

Also, very few people are going to be at their desk exactly on time every single day, turning in projects ahead of schedule or paying incredible attention to detail, and this gives you an edge over the people you are competing against in the business world.

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Use your toughness to get what you want

I am a tough person by nature, and people know this. Why? Simply because I don’t let anything slide, I like to cover every case scenario and consider all possible roads ahead. This is something that can be annoying to others, since many people don’t think that much when arguing with someone, or they are influenced by emotion. Being assertive and confident can do you lot of good, both in your career and personal life, as you will be able to negotiate what you want and prove your dominance to others. It may sound harsh, but this is how life works. It’s every man for himself.

Make decisions that nobody else will

Focus and decisiveness is something all of “us” have and this helps us get to the bottom line of every issue. This is something that presents a problem to other people and that’s why they can’t make hard decisions that concern their life or career. Constantly staying in your comfort zone and not having the courage to do what has to be done never got anybody anywhere. Luckily, you have the potential to overcome these issues easily.

Your desire for leadership will give you progress

Why do people call us control freaks? Simply because we want to tell everybody what to do. Luckily, this is not necessarily a bad thing, as there is a constant need for quality leaders. For example, if you are planning on starting a business of your own, your desire to organize things the way you see them can be very useful. A business owner needs to be a leader who can quickly organize people and tell them what their next steps are. Furthermore, employees usually have greater respect if their superior is a confident business leader.

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These are the things you should look to use to your advantage, but be careful how you use them. There is a right place and a right time for each of them, and you should learn what they are in order to use them positively.

Featured photo credit: ARTZ5143 SCM HANDS MASTER/Juan Carlos Pachón via flickr.com

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Ivan Dimitrijevic

Ivan is the CEO and founder of a digital marketing company. He has years of experiences in team management, entrepreneurship and productivity.

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Last Updated on August 19, 2019

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

How to Be True to Yourself and Live the Life You Want

We live in a world that constantly tells us what to do, how to act, what to be. Knowing how to be true to yourself and live the life you want can be a challenge.

When someone asks how we are, we assume that the person does not mean the question sincerely, for it would lead to an in depth conversation. So telling them that you are good or fine, even if you’re not, is the usual answer.

In an ideal world, we would stop and truly listen. We wouldn’t be afraid to be ourselves. Instead, when we answer about how we are doing, our mask, the persona we show the world, tightens. Sometimes even more so than it might have been before. Eventually, it becomes hard to take off, even when you’re alone.

Imagine a world where we asked how someone was doing and they really told us. Imagine a world where there were no masks, only transparency when we talked to one another.

If you want to live in a world that celebrates who you are, mistakes and all, take off the mask. It doesn’t mean you have to be positive or fine all the time.

According to a Danish psychologist, Svend Brinkman, we expect each other to be happy and fine every second, and we expect it of ourselves. And that “has a dark side.”[1] Positive psychology can have its perks but not at the expense at hiding how you truly feel in order to remain seemingly positive to others.

No one can feel positive all the time and yet, that is what our culture teaches us to embrace. We have to unlearn this. That said, telling others you are ‘“fine”’ all the time is actually detrimental to your wellbeing, because it stops you from being assertive, from being authentic or your truest self.

When you acknowledge a feeling, it leads you to the problem that’s causing that feeling; and once you identify the problem, you can find a solution to it. When you hide that feeling, you stuff it way down so no one can help you.You can’t even help yourself.

Feelings are there for one reason: to be felt. That doesn’t mean you have to act on that feeling. It just means that you start the process of problem solving so you can live the life you want.

1. Embrace Your Vulnerability

When you are your true self, you can better self-advocate or stand up for what you need. Your self-expression matters, and you should value your voice. It’s okay to need things, it’s okay to speak up, and it’s okay not to be okay.

Telling someone you are simply “fine” when you are not, does your story and your journey a great disservice. Being true to yourself entails embracing all aspects of your existence.

When you bring your whole self to the table, there is nothing that you can’t beat. Here’re 7 benefits of being vulnerable you should learn.

Can you take off the mask? This is the toughest thing anyone can do. We have learned to wait until we are safe before we start to be authentic.

In relationships especially, this can be hard. Some people avoid vulnerability at any cost. And in our relationship with ourselves, we can look in the mirror and immediately put on the mask.

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It all starts with your story. You have been on your own unique journey. That journey has led you here, to the person you are today. You have to be unafraid, and embrace all aspects of that journey.

You should seek to thrive, not just survive. That means you do not have to compete or compare yourself with anyone.

Authenticity means you are enough. It’s enough to be who you are to get what you want.

What if for the first time ever, you were real? What if you said what you wanted to say, did what you wanted to do, and didn’t apologize for it?

You were assertive, forthcoming in your opinions or actions to stand for what is right for you, (rather than being passive or aggressive) in doing so. You didn’t let things get to you. You knew you had something special to offer.

That’s where we all should be.

So, answer me this:

How are you, really?

And know that no matter the answer, you should still be accepted.

Bravery is in the understanding that you still may not be accepted for your truth.

Bravery is knowing you matter even when others say that you do not.

Bravery is believing in yourself when all evidence counters doing so (i.e. past failures or losses)

Bravery is in being vulnerable while knowing vulnerability is a sign of strength.

It’s taking control.

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2. Choose Your Attitude in Adversity

You can take control of your destiny and live the life you want by being true to yourself. You can start anytime. You can start today.

You can start with one day at a time, just facing what happens that day. Most of us get overwhelmed when faced with the prospect of a big change. Even if the only thing we change is our attitude.

In one instant, you can become a different person with a change of attitude. When you take control of your attitude, you become able to better understand what is around you. This allows you to move forward.

Originally, you may have had a life plan. It could have started when you were little; you were hoping to become a mermaid, doctor, astronaut or all three when you grew up. You were hoping to be someone. You were hoping to be remembered.

You can still dream those dreams, but eventually reality sets in. Obstacles and struggles arise. You set on a different path when the last one didn’t work out. You think of all the “shoulds” in your life in living the life you want. You should be doing this…should be doing that…

Clayton Barbeau, psychologist, coined the term “shoulding yourself.’[2] When we are set on one path and find ourselves doing something different. It becomes all the things you should be doing rather than seeing the opportunities right in front of you.

But in all this disarray, did you lose sight of the real you?

It may be in our perceived failures and blunders that we lose sight of who we are, because we try to maintain position and status.

In being who we really are and achieving what we really want, we need to be resilient: How to Build Resilience to Face What Life Throws at You

It means that we do not see all possibilities of what might happen, but must trust ourselves to begin again, and continue to build the life we want. In the face of adversity, you must choose your attitude.

Can attitude overcome adversity? It certainly helps. While seeking to be true to yourself and live the life you want, you will have to face a fact:

Change will happen.

Whether that change is good or bad is unique to each person and their perspective.

You might have to start over, once, twice, a few times. It doesn’t mean that everything will be okay, but that you will be okay. What remains or should remain is the true you. When you’ve lost sight of that, you’ve lost sight of everything.

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And then, you rebuild. Moment after moment, day after day. We all have a choice, and in this moment, that matters.

You can choose to have a positive attitude, seeing the silver lining in each situation and, where there is none, the potential for one. Maybe that silver lining is you and what you will do with the situation. How will you use it for something good?

That’s how you can tap into yourself and your power. Sometimes it happens by accident, sometimes on purpose. It can happen when we aren’t even looking for it, or it can be your only focus. Everyone gets there differently.

You can rise, or you can remain. Your choice.

When the worst happens, you can rely on your authenticity to pull you through. That’s because Self Advocacy, speaking up to let others know what you need, is part of finding the real you.

There is nothing wrong with asking for help. Or sometimes, helping others can help us deal with the pain of a hurtful situation. You decide how you’re going to help others, and suddenly, you become your best self.

3. Do What Makes You Happy When No One’s Looking

Being the best version of you has nothing to do with your success or your status. It has everything to do with your Character, what you do when no one’s looking.

In order to create the life you want, you have to be the person you want to be. Faking it till you make it is just a way to white knuckle it through your journey. You have the fire inside of you to make things right, to put the pieces together, to live authentically. And Character is how you get there.

If you fall down and you help another up while you’re down there, it’s like you rise twice.

Along with attitude, your character is about the choices you make rather than what happens to you.

Yes, it’s about doing the right thing even when obstacles seem insurmountable.  It’s about using that mountain you’ve been given to show others it can be moved.  It’s about being unapologetically you, taking control, choosing your attitude in adversity and being the best version of you to create the life you want.

How do you know what you really want? Is it truly status or success?

Unfortunately, these things do not always bring happiness. And aspects of our image or “performance driven existence” may not achieve satisfaction. Materialism is part of our refusal to accept ourselves as enough. All the things we use to repress our true selves are about being enough.

“Enoughness” is what we truly seek, but ego gets in the way.

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Ego is the perception of self as outer worth. It’s not REAL self worth.

Ego represses our true self with a new self— the self of chasing ‘“Am I ever enough?”’ questions. And instead of filling our true selves with self-love and acceptance, when we “should ourselves” and chase “enoughness,” we feed the ego or our image.

It’s important to realize YOU ARE ENOUGH, without all the material trappings.

Stanford psychologist Meagan O’Reilly describes the damage of not thinking we are enough. One of her tactics for combating this is to complete the sentence,[3]

“If I believed I were already enough, I’d ____”

What would you do if you felt you were enough?

By believing you are enough, you can live the life you want.

So many fake it to try to get there, and they end up losing themselves when they lose more and more touch with their Authenticity.

Final Thoughts

By being yourself, you are being brave. By acknowledging all you can be, you tell the universe that you can until you believe it too. The steps are easy, and you are worth it. All of it is about the purpose you are leading and the passion that is your fuel.

Being true to yourself is all about mastering how to live life authentically rather than faking or forcing it. Having the life you want (and deserve) is about being trusting in yourself and the purpose you are living for. Both need passion behind it, fueling it each second, or you will experience burn out.

When you are authentic, you can call the road you walk your own. When you live your life for you and not just the results of all your actions (faking it till you make it), you can let go of what you don’t need. This clarifies and pushes purpose to you, living for something that is greater than you.

You will find that making decisions based on what will actually achieve your goals, will help you attain the life you want, and your success with each step, will allow you to enjoy the process. Good luck!

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Featured photo credit: Ariana Prestes via unsplash.com

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