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Psychology Discovers 10 Signs That Show You Actually Enjoy Your Unhappiness

Psychology Discovers 10 Signs That Show You Actually Enjoy Your Unhappiness

Happiness is what human beings seek, but why is it that some of us seem to enjoy unhappiness? According to David Sack, M.D., board certified in Addiction Medicine and Addiction Psychiatry:

“Happiness is complicated. Some people find happiness even in situations that would challenge the most optimistic person; some are unhappy despite having it all.”

A study by Eduardo Andrade and Joel B. Cohen analyzed why people enjoy horror movies. The study concluded that some people are “happy to be unhappy.” The researchers found that these people are able to feel both positive and negative emotions at the same time. While they enjoy the relief that comes after a threat is removed, they also enjoy being scared.

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Here are 10 signs that show you enjoy your unhappiness according to psychologists:

1. You are not able to enjoy success

You don’t feel a sense of achievement even after accomplishing your goals. Even if you do achieve some goals, the enjoyment does not seem to last very long.

2. You find reasons to be miserable

There is no big problem in life right now. You just got a new job, moved to a new house, and found an awesome partner in life. Here is how your discussion with him looks like on a Saturday night, “I can’t believe how bad my old job treated me. They never gave me the credit I deserved. It makes me sad.” In short, you find reasons to be unhappy even when everything in life is going fine.

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3. You compete to see who has it the hardest

When you are having discussions about your life with friends and colleagues, you find yourself always focusing on the negatives, as if to prove to your friends that you have it the worst. “You worked 10 hours yesterday, well I worked 11” or “That’s rough, but you should hear about my night”.

4. You have a hard time getting over things

Someone made an uncalled for remark about your past and you cannot get over it. It disturbs your mental peace to a point where it affects your sleep for days.

5. You feel powerless

You feel that you are trapped in your emotions and that no matter how hard you try, you cannot break free. You feel like your emotions are controlling you rather than the other way around.

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6. You play the victim

You always feel like you are a victim of circumstances. You think that other people or situations are the cause of your unhappiness rather than thinking, “Maybe some of the choices I made could have been responsible for how I feel right now.”

7.You have unfulfilling relationships

You find yourself stuck in unfulfilling or love-hate types of relationships. You feel like you cannot get out and you always end up involved in these poisonous kinds of relationships.

8. You indulge in addictive behaviors

You resort to alcohol or drugs to cope up with pain or find yourself resorting to compulsive behaviors such as binge eating to get away from a situation that is bothering you.

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9. You don’t feel like taking care of yourself

You stop caring for yourself. You don’t feel like eating healthy food, exercising, doing fun activities (such as going out with friends), or getting proper sleep.

10. You are constantly dissatisfied

You feel that dissatisfaction in life never goes away. Even if everything in life seems to be going smooth, there is a constant feeling of dissatisfaction that lingers.

Conclusion

So what can you do if you find that you have some of these signs? Well, recognizing them is the first step. Psychologists say we must accept who we are in order to change. As long as we fully recognise and accept our current status as it is, then we will find ourselves naturally moving towards a positive direction. The next step is saying, “I think I can”, to quote The Little Engine That Could. When we weed out the negative thoughts and inject positivity into our mind, changes can begin.

For others, there is help. Treatments like cognitive behavioral therapy can ensure a path to happiness in life. Make that choice today.

You can also refer to the original article here.

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Last Updated on January 21, 2020

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

How to Motivate People Around You and Inspire Them

If I was a super hero I’d want my super power to be the ability to motivate everyone around me. Think of how many problems you could solve just by being able to motivate people towards their goals. You wouldn’t be frustrated by lazy co-workers. You wouldn’t be mad at your partner for wasting the weekend in front of the TV. Also, the more people around you are motivated toward their dreams, the more you can capitalize off their successes.

Being able to motivate people is key to your success at work, at home, and in the future because no one can achieve anything alone. We all need the help of others.

So, how to motivate people? Here are 7 ways to motivate others even you can do.

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1. Listen

Most people start out trying to motivate someone by giving them a lengthy speech, but this rarely works because motivation has to start inside others. The best way to motivate others is to start by listening to what they want to do. Find out what the person’s goals and dreams are. If it’s something you want to encourage, then continue through these steps.

2. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Open-ended questions are the best way to figure out what someone’s dreams are. If you can’t think of anything to ask, start with, “What have you always wanted to do?”

“Why do you want to do that?”

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“What makes you so excited about it?”

“How long has that been your dream?”

You need this information the help you with the following steps.

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3. Encourage

This is the most important step, because starting a dream is scary. People are so scared they will fail or look stupid, many never try to reach their goals, so this is where you come in. You must encourage them. Say things like, “I think you will be great at that.” Better yet, say, “I think your skills in X will help you succeed.” For example if you have a friend who wants to own a pet store, say, “You are so great with animals, I think you will be excellent at running a pet store.”

4. Ask About What the First Step Will Be

After you’ve encouraged them, find how they will start. If they don’t know, you can make suggestions, but it’s better to let the person figure out the first step themselves so they can be committed to the process.

5. Dream

This is the most fun step, because you can dream about success. Say things like, “Wouldn’t it be cool if your business took off, and you didn’t have to work at that job you hate?” By allowing others to dream, you solidify the motivation in place and connect their dreams to a future reality.

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6. Ask How You Can Help

Most of the time, others won’t need anything from you, but it’s always good to offer. Just letting the person know you’re there will help motivate them to start. And, who knows, maybe your skills can help.

7. Follow Up

Periodically, over the course of the next year, ask them how their goal is going. This way you can find out what progress has been made. You may need to do the seven steps again, or they may need motivation in another area of their life.

Final Thoughts

By following these seven steps, you’ll be able to encourage the people around you to achieve their dreams and goals. In return, you’ll be more passionate about getting to your goals, you’ll be surrounded by successful people, and others will want to help you reach your dreams …

Oh, and you’ll become a motivational super hero. Time to get a cape!

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Featured photo credit: Thought Catalog via unsplash.com

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