Happiness is what human beings seek, but why is it that some of us seem to enjoy unhappiness? According to David Sack, M.D., board certified in Addiction Medicine and Addiction Psychiatry:
“Happiness is complicated. Some people find happiness even in situations that would challenge the most optimistic person; some are unhappy despite having it all.”
A study by Eduardo Andrade and Joel B. Cohen analyzed why people enjoy horror movies. The study concluded that some people are “happy to be unhappy.” The researchers found that these people are able to feel both positive and negative emotions at the same time. While they enjoy the relief that comes after a threat is removed, they also enjoy being scared.
Here are 10 signs that show you enjoy your unhappiness according to psychologists:
1. You are not able to enjoy success
You don’t feel a sense of achievement even after accomplishing your goals. Even if you do achieve some goals, the enjoyment does not seem to last very long.
2. You find reasons to be miserable
There is no big problem in life right now. You just got a new job, moved to a new house, and found an awesome partner in life. Here is how your discussion with him looks like on a Saturday night, “I can’t believe how bad my old job treated me. They never gave me the credit I deserved. It makes me sad.” In short, you find reasons to be unhappy even when everything in life is going fine.
3. You compete to see who has it the hardest
When you are having discussions about your life with friends and colleagues, you find yourself always focusing on the negatives, as if to prove to your friends that you have it the worst. “You worked 10 hours yesterday, well I worked 11” or “That’s rough, but you should hear about my night”.
4. You have a hard time getting over things
Someone made an uncalled for remark about your past and you cannot get over it. It disturbs your mental peace to a point where it affects your sleep for days.
5. You feel powerless
You feel that you are trapped in your emotions and that no matter how hard you try, you cannot break free. You feel like your emotions are controlling you rather than the other way around.
6. You play the victim
You always feel like you are a victim of circumstances. You think that other people or situations are the cause of your unhappiness rather than thinking, “Maybe some of the choices I made could have been responsible for how I feel right now.”
7.You have unfulfilling relationships
You find yourself stuck in unfulfilling or love-hate types of relationships. You feel like you cannot get out and you always end up involved in these poisonous kinds of relationships.
8. You indulge in addictive behaviors
You resort to alcohol or drugs to cope up with pain or find yourself resorting to compulsive behaviors such as binge eating to get away from a situation that is bothering you.
9. You don’t feel like taking care of yourself
You stop caring for yourself. You don’t feel like eating healthy food, exercising, doing fun activities (such as going out with friends), or getting proper sleep.
10. You are constantly dissatisfied
You feel that dissatisfaction in life never goes away. Even if everything in life seems to be going smooth, there is a constant feeling of dissatisfaction that lingers.
So what can you do if you find that you have some of these signs? Well, recognizing them is the first step. Psychologists say we must accept who we are in order to change. As long as we fully recognise and accept our current status as it is, then we will find ourselves naturally moving towards a positive direction. The next step is saying, “I think I can”, to quote The Little Engine That Could. When we weed out the negative thoughts and inject positivity into our mind, changes can begin.
For others, there is help. Treatments like cognitive behavioral therapy can ensure a path to happiness in life. Make that choice today.