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Psychology Discovers 10 Signs That Show You Actually Enjoy Your Unhappiness

Psychology Discovers 10 Signs That Show You Actually Enjoy Your Unhappiness

Happiness is what human beings seek, but why is it that some of us seem to enjoy unhappiness? According to David Sack, M.D., board certified in Addiction Medicine and Addiction Psychiatry:

“Happiness is complicated. Some people find happiness even in situations that would challenge the most optimistic person; some are unhappy despite having it all.”

A study by Eduardo Andrade and Joel B. Cohen analyzed why people enjoy horror movies. The study concluded that some people are “happy to be unhappy.” The researchers found that these people are able to feel both positive and negative emotions at the same time. While they enjoy the relief that comes after a threat is removed, they also enjoy being scared.

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Here are 10 signs that show you enjoy your unhappiness according to psychologists:

1. You are not able to enjoy success

You don’t feel a sense of achievement even after accomplishing your goals. Even if you do achieve some goals, the enjoyment does not seem to last very long.

2. You find reasons to be miserable

There is no big problem in life right now. You just got a new job, moved to a new house, and found an awesome partner in life. Here is how your discussion with him looks like on a Saturday night, “I can’t believe how bad my old job treated me. They never gave me the credit I deserved. It makes me sad.” In short, you find reasons to be unhappy even when everything in life is going fine.

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3. You compete to see who has it the hardest

When you are having discussions about your life with friends and colleagues, you find yourself always focusing on the negatives, as if to prove to your friends that you have it the worst. “You worked 10 hours yesterday, well I worked 11” or “That’s rough, but you should hear about my night”.

4. You have a hard time getting over things

Someone made an uncalled for remark about your past and you cannot get over it. It disturbs your mental peace to a point where it affects your sleep for days.

5. You feel powerless

You feel that you are trapped in your emotions and that no matter how hard you try, you cannot break free. You feel like your emotions are controlling you rather than the other way around.

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6. You play the victim

You always feel like you are a victim of circumstances. You think that other people or situations are the cause of your unhappiness rather than thinking, “Maybe some of the choices I made could have been responsible for how I feel right now.”

7.You have unfulfilling relationships

You find yourself stuck in unfulfilling or love-hate types of relationships. You feel like you cannot get out and you always end up involved in these poisonous kinds of relationships.

8. You indulge in addictive behaviors

You resort to alcohol or drugs to cope up with pain or find yourself resorting to compulsive behaviors such as binge eating to get away from a situation that is bothering you.

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9. You don’t feel like taking care of yourself

You stop caring for yourself. You don’t feel like eating healthy food, exercising, doing fun activities (such as going out with friends), or getting proper sleep.

10. You are constantly dissatisfied

You feel that dissatisfaction in life never goes away. Even if everything in life seems to be going smooth, there is a constant feeling of dissatisfaction that lingers.

Conclusion

So what can you do if you find that you have some of these signs? Well, recognizing them is the first step. Psychologists say we must accept who we are in order to change. As long as we fully recognise and accept our current status as it is, then we will find ourselves naturally moving towards a positive direction. The next step is saying, “I think I can”, to quote The Little Engine That Could. When we weed out the negative thoughts and inject positivity into our mind, changes can begin.

For others, there is help. Treatments like cognitive behavioral therapy can ensure a path to happiness in life. Make that choice today.

You can also refer to the original article here.

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Last Updated on January 18, 2019

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

7 Ways To Deal With Negative People

Some people will have a rain cloud hanging over them, no matter what the weather is outside. Their negative attitude is toxic to your own moods, and you probably feel like there is little you can do about it.

But that couldn’t be farther from the truth.

If you want to effectively deal with negative people and be a champion of positivity, then your best route is to take definite action through some of the steps below.

1. Limit the time you spend with them.

First, let’s get this out of the way. You can be more positive than a cartoon sponge, but even your enthusiasm has a chance of being afflicted by the constant negativity of a friend.

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In fact, negativity has been proven to damage your health physically, making you vulnerable to high levels of stress and even cardiac disease. There’s no reason to get hurt because of someone else’s bad mood.

Though this may be a little tricky depending on your situation, working to spend slightly less time around negative people will keep your own spirits from slipping as well.

2. Speak up for yourself.

Don’t just absorb the comments that you are being bombarded with, especially if they are about you. It’s wise to be quick to listen and slow to speak, but being too quiet can give the person the impression that you are accepting what’s being said.

3. Don’t pretend that their behavior is “OK.”

This is an easy trap to fall into. Point out to the person that their constant negativity isn’t a good thing. We don’t want to do this because it’s far easier to let someone sit in their woes, and we’d rather just stay out of it.

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But if you want the best for this person, avoid giving the false impression that their negativity is normal.

4. Don’t make their problems your problems.

Though I consider empathy a gift, it can be a dangerous thing. When we hear the complaints of a friend or family member, we typically start to take on their burdens with them.

This is a bad habit to get into, especially if this is a person who is almost exclusively negative. These types of people are prone to embellishing and altering a story in order to gain sympathy.

Why else would they be sharing this with you?

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5. Change the subject.

When you suspect that a conversation is starting to take a turn for the negative, be a champion of positivity by changing the subject. Of course, you have to do this without ignoring what the other person said.

Acknowledge their comment, but move the conversation forward before the euphoric pleasure gained from complaining takes hold of either of you.

6. Talk about solutions, not problems.

Sometimes, changing the subject isn’t an option if you want to deal with negative people, but that doesn’t mean you can’t still be positive.

I know that when someone begins dumping complaints on me, I have a hard time knowing exactly what to say. The key is to measure your responses as solution-based.

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You can do this by asking questions like, “Well, how could this be resolved?” or, “How do you think they feel about it?”

Use discernment to find an appropriate response that will help your friend manage their perspectives.

7. Leave them behind.

Sadly, there are times when we have to move on without these friends, especially if you have exhausted your best efforts toward building a positive relationship.

If this person is a family member, you can still have a functioning relationship with them, of course, but you may still have to limit the influence they have over your wellbeing.

That being said, what are some steps you’ve taken to deal with negative people? Let us know in the comments.

You may also want to read: How to Stop the Negative Spin of Thoughts, Emotions and Actions.

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