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Psychology Discovers 10 Signs That Show You Actually Enjoy Your Unhappiness

Psychology Discovers 10 Signs That Show You Actually Enjoy Your Unhappiness

Happiness is what human beings seek, but why is it that some of us seem to enjoy unhappiness? According to David Sack, M.D., board certified in Addiction Medicine and Addiction Psychiatry:

“Happiness is complicated. Some people find happiness even in situations that would challenge the most optimistic person; some are unhappy despite having it all.”

A study by Eduardo Andrade and Joel B. Cohen analyzed why people enjoy horror movies. The study concluded that some people are “happy to be unhappy.” The researchers found that these people are able to feel both positive and negative emotions at the same time. While they enjoy the relief that comes after a threat is removed, they also enjoy being scared.

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Here are 10 signs that show you enjoy your unhappiness according to psychologists:

1. You are not able to enjoy success

You don’t feel a sense of achievement even after accomplishing your goals. Even if you do achieve some goals, the enjoyment does not seem to last very long.

2. You find reasons to be miserable

There is no big problem in life right now. You just got a new job, moved to a new house, and found an awesome partner in life. Here is how your discussion with him looks like on a Saturday night, “I can’t believe how bad my old job treated me. They never gave me the credit I deserved. It makes me sad.” In short, you find reasons to be unhappy even when everything in life is going fine.

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3. You compete to see who has it the hardest

When you are having discussions about your life with friends and colleagues, you find yourself always focusing on the negatives, as if to prove to your friends that you have it the worst. “You worked 10 hours yesterday, well I worked 11” or “That’s rough, but you should hear about my night”.

4. You have a hard time getting over things

Someone made an uncalled for remark about your past and you cannot get over it. It disturbs your mental peace to a point where it affects your sleep for days.

5. You feel powerless

You feel that you are trapped in your emotions and that no matter how hard you try, you cannot break free. You feel like your emotions are controlling you rather than the other way around.

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6. You play the victim

You always feel like you are a victim of circumstances. You think that other people or situations are the cause of your unhappiness rather than thinking, “Maybe some of the choices I made could have been responsible for how I feel right now.”

7.You have unfulfilling relationships

You find yourself stuck in unfulfilling or love-hate types of relationships. You feel like you cannot get out and you always end up involved in these poisonous kinds of relationships.

8. You indulge in addictive behaviors

You resort to alcohol or drugs to cope up with pain or find yourself resorting to compulsive behaviors such as binge eating to get away from a situation that is bothering you.

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9. You don’t feel like taking care of yourself

You stop caring for yourself. You don’t feel like eating healthy food, exercising, doing fun activities (such as going out with friends), or getting proper sleep.

10. You are constantly dissatisfied

You feel that dissatisfaction in life never goes away. Even if everything in life seems to be going smooth, there is a constant feeling of dissatisfaction that lingers.

Conclusion

So what can you do if you find that you have some of these signs? Well, recognizing them is the first step. Psychologists say we must accept who we are in order to change. As long as we fully recognise and accept our current status as it is, then we will find ourselves naturally moving towards a positive direction. The next step is saying, “I think I can”, to quote The Little Engine That Could. When we weed out the negative thoughts and inject positivity into our mind, changes can begin.

For others, there is help. Treatments like cognitive behavioral therapy can ensure a path to happiness in life. Make that choice today.

You can also refer to the original article here.

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Last Updated on September 12, 2019

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

12 Things You Should Remember When Feeling Lost in Life

Even the most charismatic people you know, whether in person or celebrities of some sort, experience days where they feel lost in life and isolated from everyone else.

While it’s good to know we aren’t alone in this feeling, the question still remains:

What should we do when we feel lost and lonely?

Here are 12 things to remember:

1. Recognize That It’s Okay!

The truth is, there are times you need to be alone. If you’ve always been accustomed to being in contact with people, this may prove difficult.

However, learning how to be alone and comfortable in your own skin will give you confidence and a sense of self reliance.

We cheat ourselves out of the opportunity to become self reliant when we look for constant companionship.

Learn how to embrace your me time: What Your Fear of Being Alone Is Really About and How to Get over It

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2. Use Your Lost and Loneliness as a Self-Directing Guide

You’ve most likely heard the expression: “You have to know where you’ve been to know where you’re going.”

Loneliness also serves as a life signal to indicate you’re in search of something. It’s when we’re in the midst of solitude that answers come from true soul searching.

Remember, there is more to life than what you’re feeling.

3. Realize Loneliness Helps You Face the Truth

Being in the constant company of others, although comforting sometimes, can often serve as a distraction when we need to face the reality of a situation.

Solitude cuts straight to the chase and forces you to deal with the problem at hand. See it as a blessing that can serve as a catalyst to set things right!

4. Be Aware That You Have More Control Than You Think

Typically, when we see ourselves as being lost or lonely, it gives us an excuse to view everything we come in contact with in a negative light. It lends itself to putting ourselves in the victim mode, when the truth of the matter is that you choose your attitude in every situation.

No one can force a feeling upon you! It is YOU who has the ultimate say as to how you choose to react.

5. Embrace the Freedom That the Feeling of Being Alone Can Offer

Instead of wallowing in self pity, which many are prone to do because of loneliness, try looking at your circumstance as a new-found freedom.

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Most people are in constant need of approval of their viewpoints. Try enjoying the fact that  you don’t need everyone you care about to support your decisions.

6. Acknowledge the Person You Are Now

Perhaps you feel a sense of loneliness and confusion because your life circumstances have taken you away from the persona that others know to be you.

Perhaps the new you differs radically from the old. Realize that life is about change and how we react to that change. It’s okay that you’re not who you used to be.

Take a look at this article and learn to accept your imperfect self: Accept Yourself (Flaws and All): 7 Benefits of Being Vulnerable

7. Keep Striving to Do Your Best

Often those who are feeling isolated and unto themselves will develop a defeatist attitude. They’ll do substandard work because their self esteem is low and they don’t care.

Never let this feeling take away your sense of worth! Do your best always and when you come through this dark time, others will admire how you stayed determined in spite of the obstacles you had to overcome.

And to live your best life, you must do this ONE thing: step out of your comfort zone.

8. Don’t Forget That Time Is Precious

When we’re lost in a sea of loneliness and depression, it’s all too easy to reflect on regrets of past life events. This does nothing but feed negativity and perpetuate the situation.

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Instead of falling prey to this common pitfall, put one foot in front of the other and acknowledge every positive step you take. By doing this, you can celebrate the struggles you overcome at the end of the day.

9. Remember, Things Happen for a Reason

Every circumstance we encounter in our life is designed to teach us and that lesson is in turn passed on to others.

Sometimes we’re fortunate enough to figure out the lesson to be learned, while other times, we simply need to have faith that if the lesson wasn’t meant directly for us to learn from, how we handled it was observed by someone who needed to learn.

Your solitude and feeling of lost, in this instance, although painful possibly, may be teaching someone else.

10. Journal During This Time

Record your thoughts when you’re at the height of loneliness and feeling lost. You’ll be amazed when you reflect back at how you viewed things at the time and how far you’ve come later.

This time (if recorded) can give you a keen insight into who you are and what makes you feel the way you feel.

11. Remember You Aren’t the First to Feel This Way

It’s quite common to feel as if we’re alone and no one else has ever felt this way before. We think this because at the time of our distress, we’re silently observing others around us who are seemingly fine in every way.

The truth is, we can’t possibly know the struggles of those around us unless they elect to share them. We ALL have known this pain!

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Try confiding in someone you trust and ask them how they deal with these feelings when they experienced it. You may be surprised at what you learn.

12. Ask for Help If the Problem Persists

The feeling of being lost and lonely is common to everyone, but typically it will last for a relatively short period of time.

Most people will confess to, at one time or another, being in a “funk.” But if the problem persists longer than you feel it should, don’t ignore it.

When your ability to reason and consider things rationally becomes impaired, do not poo poo the problem away and think it isn’t worthy of attention. Seek medical help.

Afraid to ask for help? Here’s how to change your outlook to aim high!

Final Thoughts

Loneliness and a sense of feeling lost can in many ways be extremely painful and difficult to deal with at best. However, these feelings can also serve as a catalyst for change in our lives if we acknowledge them and act.

Above anything, cherish your mental well being and don’t underestimate its worth. Seek professional guidance if you’re unable to distinguish between a sense of freedom for yourself and a sense of despair.

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Featured photo credit: Andrew Neel via unsplash.com

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