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Are You Shy? Use It to Your Advantage

Are You Shy? Use It to Your Advantage

Shyness can affect how you feel, think and act in front of others. Research on shyness reports that almost half of adults are affected with normal shyness, and up to 15% with extreme shyness. Although you might think of yourself as being the only shy person amongst your friends, chances are that many more feel the same way inside.

Do you find yourself avoiding eye contact, laughing nervously or generally feeling out of place when around others? Thoughts like what or what not to say, whom to speak to, and what to do when things feel awkward can run at a thousand miles per hour inside your head. Remember, these are just some of the things that experiencing shyness typically results in. Knowing this will help you start to harness the true power that shyness can bring to your personal growth and relationships.

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Silence is powerful

Giving other people full attention as you listen to what they have to say can have a tremendous impact on the conversation. Shy people often don’t say things just for the sake of talking. This makes them incredible listeners. By making others feel heard, they will feel able to confide in you and share more on a personal level. This encourages meaningful conversation and the chance to genuinely connect with others.

Being in this position also adds to your wealth of knowledge and understanding of this world. Take advantage of the chance to listen to others. This will only increase the thoughtfulness of your replies when you have something to add, making your impact all the more influential.

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Harness your non-verbal language

Talking isn’t the only way to get a message across, or even to make friends. If the thought of conversation makes you feel nervous, use your non-verbal body language to show your concern instead. Think about being in a crowded room full of strangers talking. You would be much more likely to approach someone who smiles at you warmly, even if you didn’t feel like joining in.

Non-verbal language is the key to making others feel more welcome and relaxed. Sending a smile that conveys “hello” can make people warm to you as much as being the wittiest line of self-introduction. Remember that body language is contagious, and you can help others feel comfortable around you even without saying a word.

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Help other shy people

We have all felt shy at some point in our lives. Not everyone will remember to use their experience for good. Shy people can often acutely remember the nervousness they feel in new social situations. If that is the case for you, look at your life and see if you can spot anyone else who may have just joined your workplace, school or social group. Think back to a time when you may have felt anxious about entering the new and unknown, and how any help to integrate would have been appreciated. Shyness is a great gift for bonding with other shy people, and a blessing to help those who may experience what you went through.

Document your journey

Introspection is second nature to those who experience shyness. It can be a double-edged sword, especially if you choose to focus on the negative self-talk that comes with being shy. However, using it to learn more about yourself and where you can take it from there in the future is an extremely effective tool for personal growth.

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By using your shyness as a springboard to look ahead, rather than as a scapegoat for regrets in life, you maximize the opportunities to learn from what your inner voice is telling you. Feeling shy is simply the beginning, not the end. Telling yourself “I feel shy, now what?” can help to acknowledge the discomfort that arises from certain situations, and refocus your mind on what actually needs to be done. When you learn to grow from past experiences, shyness can be very empowering and help both yourself and others.

Featured photo credit: Woman’s Hand Reaching With Hope To Catch A Balloon Against Blue Sky by Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on October 9, 2018

27 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down

27 Ways to Instantly Feel Better When You’re Down

Who has never gone through some ups and downs in the life? But some people can feel better in a quicker way than others because they’ve found their own remedies to heal the bad feelings.

If you haven’t found yours, these ways will help you instantly feel better and ditch that negative self talk when you’re feeling bad about yourself:

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  1. Listen to the songs you loved when you were in high school or university, this will recall you of the old good times.
  2. Write something. Write down how you feel as a way to express your thoughts if you don’t feel like talking to anyone.
  3. Draw something. Draw anything you want because no one’s going to judge your drawing skills.
  4. Read the postcards or letters your friends or family sent you before, remind yourself there are people who always remember you.
  5. Silently think of a day or moment which you truly enjoyed and try to recapture that very first feeling. Was it the day of your graduation? The moment you traveled with your loved one?
  6. Take out your photo albums and go over your childhood photos.
  7. Cry when you feel like doing so. There’s nothing wrong with crying; cry out all your fear and stress and just face the truth after crying.
  8. Sing loudly like no one can hear you. Do you know that in Japan, people always sing karaoke to relieve stress?
  9. Cook a nice meal for yourself or for your family.
  10. Read your previous diary entries and look at your great memories.
  11. Dress up nicely to feel happier.
  12. Don’t stay in your bed! Get your laptop or a book and sit in a coffee place.
  13. Take a walk outside and feel the fresh air.
  14. Sweat yourself! Go jogging or play some sports.
  15. Pick up the musical instrument you used to play a lot and start to play it.
  16. Tidy up your desk or wardrobe, you’ll feel good that you’re being productive and actually doing something.
  17. Watch some funny videos, sure you can find a lot of them on Youtube.
  18. Eat something you like, be it a chocolate cake, or an ice-cream. Just please yourself with the flavour you like.
  19. Re-read your favorite book and write down the sentences or passages that you love.
  20. Watch a new movie, there must be a movie which you’ve always interested in but had no time to watch it.
  21. Do something nice that no one will notice, say picking up a rubbish in the street and throw it to a trash bin.
  22. Call your best friend and just talk whatever you want! Human beings are social animals after all, connecting with people close to you will make you feel better.
  23. Do voluntary work and help people in need, you’ll feel happy and satisfied.
  24. Get drunk with your close friends at home – a safe place for you to get drunk and get crazy. Let loose and have fun with your very close friends.
  25. Write an email or a note to a friend who you care about.
  26. Get out of your routine life and meet new friends. Get out of your comfort zone! Meeting new people can give you new inspirations in life.
  27. Look into the mirror and smile. Act like today’s already a wonderful day. How we act affects how we feel. It’s difficult to go on feeling sad if you’re trying to smile!

Remember:

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It’s not what happens to you, but how you react to it that matters.  — Epictetus

If you want to feel better, change what you’re doing because obviously what you’re doing doesn’t make you happy!

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Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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