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Are You Shy? Use It to Your Advantage

Are You Shy? Use It to Your Advantage

Shyness can affect how you feel, think and act in front of others. Research on shyness reports that almost half of adults are affected with normal shyness, and up to 15% with extreme shyness. Although you might think of yourself as being the only shy person amongst your friends, chances are that many more feel the same way inside.

Do you find yourself avoiding eye contact, laughing nervously or generally feeling out of place when around others? Thoughts like what or what not to say, whom to speak to, and what to do when things feel awkward can run at a thousand miles per hour inside your head. Remember, these are just some of the things that experiencing shyness typically results in. Knowing this will help you start to harness the true power that shyness can bring to your personal growth and relationships.

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Silence is powerful

Giving other people full attention as you listen to what they have to say can have a tremendous impact on the conversation. Shy people often don’t say things just for the sake of talking. This makes them incredible listeners. By making others feel heard, they will feel able to confide in you and share more on a personal level. This encourages meaningful conversation and the chance to genuinely connect with others.

Being in this position also adds to your wealth of knowledge and understanding of this world. Take advantage of the chance to listen to others. This will only increase the thoughtfulness of your replies when you have something to add, making your impact all the more influential.

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Harness your non-verbal language

Talking isn’t the only way to get a message across, or even to make friends. If the thought of conversation makes you feel nervous, use your non-verbal body language to show your concern instead. Think about being in a crowded room full of strangers talking. You would be much more likely to approach someone who smiles at you warmly, even if you didn’t feel like joining in.

Non-verbal language is the key to making others feel more welcome and relaxed. Sending a smile that conveys “hello” can make people warm to you as much as being the wittiest line of self-introduction. Remember that body language is contagious, and you can help others feel comfortable around you even without saying a word.

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Help other shy people

We have all felt shy at some point in our lives. Not everyone will remember to use their experience for good. Shy people can often acutely remember the nervousness they feel in new social situations. If that is the case for you, look at your life and see if you can spot anyone else who may have just joined your workplace, school or social group. Think back to a time when you may have felt anxious about entering the new and unknown, and how any help to integrate would have been appreciated. Shyness is a great gift for bonding with other shy people, and a blessing to help those who may experience what you went through.

Document your journey

Introspection is second nature to those who experience shyness. It can be a double-edged sword, especially if you choose to focus on the negative self-talk that comes with being shy. However, using it to learn more about yourself and where you can take it from there in the future is an extremely effective tool for personal growth.

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By using your shyness as a springboard to look ahead, rather than as a scapegoat for regrets in life, you maximize the opportunities to learn from what your inner voice is telling you. Feeling shy is simply the beginning, not the end. Telling yourself “I feel shy, now what?” can help to acknowledge the discomfort that arises from certain situations, and refocus your mind on what actually needs to be done. When you learn to grow from past experiences, shyness can be very empowering and help both yourself and others.

Featured photo credit: Woman’s Hand Reaching With Hope To Catch A Balloon Against Blue Sky by Ed Gregory via stokpic.com

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Last Updated on October 16, 2019

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

We all have relationships. We have acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, neighbors and friends. However, for a large percentage of us, many of these relationships are not fulfilling.

They are unfulfilling because they lack real strength; and they lack real strength because they lack real depth.

Unfortunately, in today’s society, we tend to have shallow, superficial relationships with others, and it’s extremely hard for this kind of relationships to provide anything more than faint satisfaction.

I’d like to show you, based on my experience as a communication and confidence coach, how you can add a significant amount of depth, and thus strength, to your relationships and make your social life a whole lot more meaningful.

Here’re 5 simple yet powerful ways for meaningful relationships building:

1. Meet More People

This is an apparent paradox, but the quality of the people you meet has considerably to do with the quantity of people you meet.

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If you don’t know a lot of people and you barely meet one or two new people every season of the year, considering the variety of individuals out there, you won’t meet very often people who are a good match with you in terms of personality, interests and values.

And since this natural match plays a huge part in building strong relationships, you’ll just as seldom have the opportunity to develop strong relationships.

Conversely, if you go out a lot, you meet a lot of new people and you constantly expand your social circle, you’re much more likely to meet people you match up well with, and these people have a tremendous potential to become good friends, reliable partners, etc.

This is why it’s important to meet more people.

2. Talk about the Things That Matter To You

A relationship becomes the strongest when two people discover they believe in the same things and have similar interests. It’s these commonalities regarding values and interests that create the strongest emotional connection.

I’ve noticed that many people keep conversations shallow. They talk about trivial stuff such as the weather, what’s on TV, the lives of various movie stars, but they rarely talk about what really matters to them in life. This is a mistake from my perspective, because it’s the perfect method for a relationship to not develop.

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Talk about the things that truly matter to you and give others a chance to know what you care about and what you believe in. If they believe in the same things and they care about the same things, they’ll eagerly let you know. Thus you’ll find meaningful common ground and you’ll feel more connected.

3. Express Vulnerability

Many people try to come off as perfect. They don’t talk about their failures, they hide their shortcomings and they never say anything that could embarrass them.

This is all just a facade though. You may appear perfect to some, but you know you’re not perfect and they know that too. You’re only human and humans have flaws.

However, by hiding your flaws, what you do succeed in is appearing cold and impersonal. You seem like a marble statue rather than a real person. And this makes it very hard for anyone to connect with you emotionally.

Humans connect with other humans, not with ideals. Keep this in mind and don’t be afraid to let your vulnerability and your humanity show. This is what takes a relationship to the next level.

Take a look at this article and find out Why Showing Vulnerability Actually Proves Your Strength.

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4. Have Integrity

Integrity, as I see it, is the alignment between your thoughts, your words and your actions. When you say what you think and you do what you said you’ll do, you have integrity.

This is a crucial trait because if you have integrity, people can trust you. They can trust you to give them an honest feedback, even when it’s hard to shallow, and they can trust you to keep your promises.

This trust is one of the central pillars of a strong relationship, both in your personal and your professional life. So, as challenging as it can be sometimes, always try to have integrity.

Be honest with the people around you, even when this will initially hurt them. It’s more important for them to trust you than to not feel hurt. And always do what you promised. Even better, think twice before you promise anything, and only promise what you really can and you are willing to do.

5. Be There for Others

Another central pillar of strong relationships is support. Connections between people grow sturdy if they can rely on each other for support when it’s needed, whether that support means a few kind words or several massive actions.

Of course, you can’t be there for everybody, all the time. Your time, energy and other resources are limited. But what you can do is identify the genuinely important people in your life and then seek to be there as much as possible, at least for them.

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Your support will help them practically, and it will comfort them emotionally; which makes one hell of a difference in a relationship.

The Bottom Line

With the right mindset and the right behavior, you can strengthen a wide range of relationships in your life and advance them as far as they can be advanced.

And with strong relationships, not only that you feel more fulfilled, but you feel more connected to the entire world. You feel that your life has real value, you have more fun and you live in the moment. An entire world of opportunities opens up in front of you.

Then your task is to simply walk through the open doors.

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Featured photo credit: Proxyclick Visitor Management System via unsplash.com

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