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5 Benefits of Having Annoying People in Your Life

5 Benefits of Having Annoying People in Your Life

Having friends brings many benefits to our lives. We view having friends as being a positive influence, otherwise why would we hang out with them, right? Well, there are some very solid benefits to having friends that annoy you. Below I will show you five of these benefits. At the end, my hope is you will come to appreciate some of those annoying friends of yours or even appreciate some of the idiosyncrasies the friends you care for the most have.

1. Teaching Patience

This is probably the one area that many of us need help with. It is easy to listen to someone when they are telling you what you like or want to hear. However, sometimes, you may gain valuable nuggets of information from those that can be quite annoying. Learn to be patient with all those interact with and you may find you can gain some interesting insights and maybe even learn something new.

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2. Encouraging Open Mindedness

We tend to find favor and be more interested in what others have to say, as long as we agree with it. The truth of the matter, is whether or not we agree with something doesn’t make it any less true. The next time that annoying person tells you something you don’t agree with, don’t automatically dismiss it. Take a moment to see if there is merit in what they are saying. Being open to an opposing viewpoint can bring greater clarity to your way of thinking.

3. Improving Listening Skills

As mentioned in the benefit above, it is easy to listen to someone when we agree. However, when someone annoys us many of us simply want to shut them out – we stop listening. By doing this, we rob ourselves from developing one of the most important life skills one can learn and that is listening. When we are being annoyed, it takes that much more effort to listen to what someone has to say. The harder it is to listen, the strong we can build our “listening muscle”. The next time you want to tune someone out, resist the temptation and practice listening.

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4. Learning Appreciation

By understanding the previous three benefits, in time, you will come to appreciate the diversity of thought these “annoying people” can bring to your life. Some will challenge you while others will down right annoy you to the point of wanting to inflict bodily harm. If you take a step back, you will begin to learn to appreciate your differences. This appreciation can translate to appreciation in other areas of your life with even the simplest of things like music or food. While I’m not suggesting that all annoyances good for you; however that can open new areas of your life you can appreciate and enrich your overall being.

5. Challenging You To Be Better

This benefit is an interesting one, especially for those that don’t think they need to change or are good enough. When dealing with someone that annoys you, there will be times where you have to take the high road or be the better person. Putting this into practice is much easier said than done. However, if you can embrace this challenge, you will find yourself looking for ways to be and do better. In the end, thinking and acting this way can only serve to improve your life.

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Conclusion

We have taken a look at 5 benefits that annoying people can bring to your life. Can you think of anymore? When we look at the diversity around us it’s easier to gravitate to that which is more familiar, comfortable, and likeable. I challenge you to learn to see the beauty in these annoying people and accept them for who they are. By doing so, the one who stands to benefit the most is you.

Featured photo credit: The more you talk, the less you’re heard./Tez Goodyer via flickr.com

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Last Updated on October 13, 2020

12 Things High Self-Esteem People Don’t Do

12 Things High Self-Esteem People Don’t Do

Having high self-esteem is important if you are aiming for personal or professional success. Interestingly, most people will high levels of self-esteem act in similar ways. That’s why it’s often easy to pick them out in a crowd. There’s something about the way they hold themselves and speak, isn’t there?

We all have different hopes, dreams, experiences, and paths, but confidence has its own universal language. This list will present some of the things you won’t find yourself doing if you have high self-esteem.

1. Compare Yourself to Others

People with low self-esteem are constantly comparing their situation to others. On the other hand, people with higher self-esteem show empathy and compassion while also protecting their own sanity. They know how much they can handle and when they can offer a helping hand.

In the age of social media, however, social comparisons are nearly ubiquitous. One study found that “participants who used Facebook most often had poorer trait self-esteem, and this was mediated by greater exposure to upward social comparisons on social media”[1]. Basically, you will feel worse about yourself if you are constantly getting glimpses into lives that you consider to be better than yours.

Try to limit your time on social media. Also, when you do start scrolling, keep in mind that each profile is carefully crafted to create the appearance of a perfect life. Check yourself when you find yourself wishing for greener grass.

2. Be Mean-Spirited

People with low self-esteem bully others. They take pleasure in putting other people down. People with positive self-esteem see no need to down other people, choosing instead to encourage and celebrate successes.

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If you find that you feel the need to put others down, analyze where that’s coming from. If they’ve had success in life, help them feel good about that achievement. They may do the same for you one day.

3. Let Imperfection Ruin Your Day

Perfectionism isn’t necessarily a bad thing, but obsessing over making everything perfect is a sign that you have low self-esteem and can lead to never-ending negative thoughts. This can turn into an inability to solve problems creatively, which will only make self-esteem issues worse. 

Those with high self-esteem disconnect from the results and do their best without expecting perfection.

People with that kind of confidence understand that messing up is a part of life and that each time they aim and miss success, they’ll at least learn something along the way.

If you miss the mark, or if your plan doesn’t work out exactly as you would have liked, take a deep breath and see if you can pivot in order to do better next time.

4. Dwell on Failure

It’s common to hear people dwelling on all the ways things will go wrong. They are positive that their every failure signals an impossible task or an innate inability to do something. People with healthy self-esteem discover why they failed and try again.

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People with higher levels of confidence also tend to adopt a growth mindset[2]. This type of thinking supports the idea that most of your abilities can be improved and altered, as opposed to being fixed.

For example, instead of saying, “I’m just not good at math; that’s why I did bad on the test,” someone with a growth mindset would say, “Math is difficult for me, so I’ll have to put in some more practice to improve next time.”

Next time you experience a failure, check out this video to help you believe in yourself again:

5. Devalue Your Self-Esteem

People with high self-esteem value their own perception of themselves – they understand that they come first and don’t feel guilty about taking care of themselves. They believe charity starts within, and if they don’t believe that, they’ll never have a healthy self-image.

Self-care is often top of the priority list for people with self-esteem. For some ways to practice self-care, check out this article.

6. Try to Please Others

They can’t please all the people all the time, so confident people first focus on doing what will make them feel fulfilled and happy. While they will politely listen to others’ thoughts and advice, they know that their goals and dreams have to be completed on their own terms.

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7. Close Yourself off

Confident people have the ability to be vulnerable. It’s those with poor self-esteem that hide all the best parts of themselves behind an emotional wall. Instead of keeping the real you a secret, be open and honest in all your dealings.

As Brené Brown, author of Daring Greatly, points out, “Vulnerability is about showing up and being seen”[3]. When you embrace each facet of who you are and allow others to see them as well, it will create deeper, more meaningful connections in your life. When that happens, you’ll realize that perfection doesn’t lead to people liking you more.

You can learn more about the power of vulnerability in this TED talk with Brené Brown:

8. Follow and Avoiding Leading

People with low self-esteem don’t believe they can lead, so they end up following others, sometimes into unhealthy situations. Rather than seeking a sense of belonging, people with high self-esteem walk their own paths and create social circles that build them up.

9. Fish for Compliments

If you’re constantly seeking compliments, you’re not confident. People with high self-esteem always do their best (and go out of their way to do good deeds) because it’s what they want to do, not because they’re seeking recognition. If you need to hear compliments, say them to yourself in the mirror.

You can even try some positive affirmations if you need a confidence boost. Check out these affirmations to get started.

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10. Be Lazy

People work harder when they have high self-esteem because they’re not bogged down by doubts and complaints. Those with low self-esteem end up procrastinating and wasting their energy thinking about all the work they have to do rather than rolling up their sleeves and just getting it done.

This may also bounce off perfectionism. Perfectionists often feel intimidated by certain projects if they fear that they won’t be able to complete them perfectly. Tap into your confidence and simply do your best without worrying about a perfect outcome.

11. Shy Away from Risks

When you trust yourself, you’ll be willing to participate more in life. People with low self-esteem are always on the sidelines, waiting for the perfect moment to jump in. Instead of letting life pass you by, have confidence in your success and take the risks necessary to succeed.

12. Gossip

People with low self-esteem are always in other peoples’ business – they’re more interested in what everyone else is doing than themselves. People with high self-esteem are more interested in their own life and stay out of others’ affairs.

Instead of participating in idle gossip, talk about some positive news you heard recently, or that fascinating book you just finished. There’s plenty to talk about beyond what this or that person did wrong in their life.

The Bottom Line

Self-esteem is to success in life. People who maintain a healthy level of self-esteem believe in themselves and push themselves to succeed, while those with low confidence feel a sense of entitlement.

If you need a boost in your self-image and mental health, avoid negative self-talk and the other mistakes of people with low self-esteem. You’ll be amazed at the difference it makes.

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Featured photo credit: Christina @ wocintechchat.com via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Psychology of Popular Media Culture: Social comparison, social media, and self-esteem
[2] Brain Pickings: Fixed vs. Growth: The Two Basic Mindsets That Shape Our Lives
[3] Forbes: Brene Brown: How Vulnerability Can Make Our Lives Better

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