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5 Benefits of Having Annoying People in Your Life

5 Benefits of Having Annoying People in Your Life

Having friends brings many benefits to our lives. We view having friends as being a positive influence, otherwise why would we hang out with them, right? Well, there are some very solid benefits to having friends that annoy you. Below I will show you five of these benefits. At the end, my hope is you will come to appreciate some of those annoying friends of yours or even appreciate some of the idiosyncrasies the friends you care for the most have.

1. Teaching Patience

This is probably the one area that many of us need help with. It is easy to listen to someone when they are telling you what you like or want to hear. However, sometimes, you may gain valuable nuggets of information from those that can be quite annoying. Learn to be patient with all those interact with and you may find you can gain some interesting insights and maybe even learn something new.

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2. Encouraging Open Mindedness

We tend to find favor and be more interested in what others have to say, as long as we agree with it. The truth of the matter, is whether or not we agree with something doesn’t make it any less true. The next time that annoying person tells you something you don’t agree with, don’t automatically dismiss it. Take a moment to see if there is merit in what they are saying. Being open to an opposing viewpoint can bring greater clarity to your way of thinking.

3. Improving Listening Skills

As mentioned in the benefit above, it is easy to listen to someone when we agree. However, when someone annoys us many of us simply want to shut them out – we stop listening. By doing this, we rob ourselves from developing one of the most important life skills one can learn and that is listening. When we are being annoyed, it takes that much more effort to listen to what someone has to say. The harder it is to listen, the strong we can build our “listening muscle”. The next time you want to tune someone out, resist the temptation and practice listening.

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4. Learning Appreciation

By understanding the previous three benefits, in time, you will come to appreciate the diversity of thought these “annoying people” can bring to your life. Some will challenge you while others will down right annoy you to the point of wanting to inflict bodily harm. If you take a step back, you will begin to learn to appreciate your differences. This appreciation can translate to appreciation in other areas of your life with even the simplest of things like music or food. While I’m not suggesting that all annoyances good for you; however that can open new areas of your life you can appreciate and enrich your overall being.

5. Challenging You To Be Better

This benefit is an interesting one, especially for those that don’t think they need to change or are good enough. When dealing with someone that annoys you, there will be times where you have to take the high road or be the better person. Putting this into practice is much easier said than done. However, if you can embrace this challenge, you will find yourself looking for ways to be and do better. In the end, thinking and acting this way can only serve to improve your life.

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Conclusion

We have taken a look at 5 benefits that annoying people can bring to your life. Can you think of anymore? When we look at the diversity around us it’s easier to gravitate to that which is more familiar, comfortable, and likeable. I challenge you to learn to see the beauty in these annoying people and accept them for who they are. By doing so, the one who stands to benefit the most is you.

Featured photo credit: The more you talk, the less you’re heard./Tez Goodyer via flickr.com

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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