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Science Says Polite People Are Less Stressed In Life

Science Says Polite People Are Less Stressed In Life

That barista who greets everyone in the ‘round-the-block line with a smile more invigorating than the coffee, and what seems like every waiter/waitress who seems upset but okay after dropping every plate in their hand push through seemingly stress-free . There is a reason the most polite people seem stress free even in the most trying circumstances, being polite will help bounce some of the naturally occurring negative stimuli out of our mind and contribute to more positive emotional well-being. Being polite can even help you get the most out of life by acting as a stress relief during some of the most stressful (but totally enjoyable) times. From school, to work, to the most terrible travel experience into divine destinations, being polite will reduce discomfort and will make your experiences pest-free to your mind.

School

Going to college can be one of the most stressful times of your youth. It’s many young folks first time moving out, first time by themselves, and their premier onto the adult scene. This added stress can exacerbate underlying mental conditions, which is why most mental issues present themselves between the ages of 18-24. Being a polite person will free our minds from the stress day-to-day aggravations can cause, and that’s a big deal for young folks trying to make it through school. Smiling and holding the door open for the person behind you will help you forget about the one just slammed in your face.

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While school work and being away from your family can be major stressors for freshmen, cohabitation can squeeze even the coolest college kid. Courtly courtesy can keep even the crummiest dirty sock hoarder out of mind, in your room, and an ideal roommate. While it might seem strange to oblige their strange habits, your 15 alarms don’t do much better. Communication and cordial interactions are vital contributors to serene cohabitation (being polite is all it takes), not daily dusting or taping down the middle of the room in a vain attempt to split your 10X20 room into separate kingdoms. Being polite while at school can really save your bum from a whole slew of daily emotional pitfalls, and keep your emotional well-being stable, this is just one example of the tremendous benefits that come when acting with a diplomatic disposition on a regular basis.

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Work

Coping with workplace stress is a difficult transition for any person hacking their way through white collar wastelands, added stress from poor communication and conditions beyond your control (like when the print-shop closes, emails that need returned to you, or weather conditions) can cause your stress to spiral out of control. That stress can affect your performance, your interactions with clients, and your health; stay sweet and avoid that fetid funk that can sink into business interactions, and your mindset. You can get coffee for a co-worker, keep your conversations extremely cordial (avoid cursing, or politely curse), or try to focus on the positive, awesome things your co-workers are doing, and let them know that they are awesome for doing them! Let your clients, know too, your rude manners shouldn’t be the subtext to your customer service. Besides, if you’re staying late to wait for the print-shop to get back to you, or are waiting for some vital emails that need inspected before you leave, you can use your time to teach another co worker about your favorite excel tricks, or you could get a head start on the secretary’s HUGE stack of filing (they would love you forever for that).

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Leisure time

You are the sweetest, kindest little genteel that ever did exist while at work, at school, or with your family and friends, but unless you can maintain that sweet, socially performing facade while under the pressures that might come with leisure activities like travel, playing games, or paintball! Just going for a long drive in the country-side can be super relaxing, but unless you stay calm and polite in the road, it can turn into a road-rage quite quickly if you start aggressively driving, or are unsure about the rules of the road in the area. Those rules can also prevent your politeness from spreading in other parts of the world (especially if you don’t follow the regional rules of what it means to be polite). Taking your leisure time, and enjoying it stress-free is vital for your future well-being. Relax, enjoy your leisure time, and take off into the super polite bliss you are bound to achieve.

Featured photo credit: Calgary Canada Day 2014 via flickr.com

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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