Advertising
Advertising

7 People You Should Talk to When You Feel Lost

7 People You Should Talk to When You Feel Lost

Life is like a roller coaster. There are ups, downs, plunges, and sharp turns. Expect them and prepare to deal with them. Your emotional status takes a major hit during these periods, and reality can become clouded. The mind occasionally seems blank; what course of action to take next is quite unclear. It takes being lost in life at times in order to find your correct path and purpose. And the reality of this discovery can be downright scary.

Having the right attitude is foremost; resolve to be optimistic and confident. Be as American’s premier First Lady, Martha Washington, and declare, I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance; but, by our disposition.

Conversing with reliable people when dealing with change and adversity is of amazing benefit. It’s fantastic for your mental, physical and relationship health. Sharing how you feel, sharing what’s going on in your life, and in your head brings relief. It is such a good feeling to know that you are not alone during your trials.

Advertising

When faced with challenges, another crucial step (in taking charge and pursuing triumph) is talking them out. No man is an island. We all need someone to chat with in the happy times, and definitely in the melancholy times. Here are 7 People You Should Talk to When You Feel Lost – they will navigate you into the right direction.

1. Pastors

After you assure that your diet and exercise routine are in order, the spiritual or religious plane is the next best area to approach. When the mind and spirit are in harmony, great things can happen. And for sure, If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. (Author Unknown) Your pastor or other spiritual leader will be able to give you wisdom and understanding to achieve a suitable conquest. They will help you believe in yourself and your innate abilities. In many cases help will be available to enhance your skill set.

2. Teachers

Sometimes you listen to your teachers faster than you listen to your parents. For certain you spend many hours with them on a daily basis. They know a lot about you; they know how to get your attention. Real teachers genuinely care about you. They are forever instructing you to concentrate and keep your dialogue positive. Evidence is conclusive that your self-talk has a direct bearing on your performance. (Zig Ziglar) Do not hesitate to speak with your teachers about feeling lost. They want to help you.

Advertising

3. A Parent or Other Trustworthy Relative

Neither your friends nor family members are able to always be there for you. Nonetheless, it is essential that you take the time to talk with them. Not everyone has wonderful parents; but for each person who does, it is well worth it to talk with them about your troubles. After all, they are closest to you, they love you and they have been there, done that already. No one can tell you like a mom or dad to Just remember – when you think all is lost, the future remains. (Robert H. Goddard) It is so potent and holds such incredible meaning when it comes from their lips. No one gives you hope and stick-to-it-iveness like your parents.

Talking things over with your dad, mom or other responsible family member can significantly reduce your stress level. The fact that they understand what you are dealing with and are sincerely concerned eliminates a whole lot of worry and heartache.

In How to Talk to Your Parents by Camille Peri, Kathy McCoy, MD asserts that “Nobody is going to care about and love you with the intensity of your parents — even when you’re trying to push away from them. As intense and wonderful as friendships can be – and some of them are for life, but most of them aren’t – you can count on your parents when your friends might flake on you. Talking to your parents doesn’t mean you’re acting like a kid again. You can ask their opinion and you don’t have to accept everything they say.”

Advertising

4. A Genuine Friend

There really is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. And this is the comrade that you want to pour your heart out to. You can do this will a bonafide friend because they know when to talk and when to be quiet. They are super listeners and have no problem giving you the straight truth – even if it stings because they will be right there to apply soothing easement. They are experts at distinguishing your logic and intellect from your emotions.

Yes, real friends are aware that All of our reasoning ends in surrender to feeling. (Blaise Pascal) When you feel lost and out of it, you tend not to see things as they really are or can be. Your genuine friend picks up the slack for you. True friends support one another when the going is tough as well as when the merriment soars.

5. A Mentor or Life Coach

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come. (Joseph Campbell) If there was no disruption in your life, you would roll with the status quo and never grow. Consequently, in each life – including yours – some rain drops do fall. They get pretty heavy sometimes and cause you to reel and rock.

Advertising

A personal mentor or coach is idea for getting help and guidance at such a time as this. He or she is trained to help you realize why this change is necessary now. With a life coach or mentor’s assistance, you begin to understand the true meaning behind the challenges, and the requirements for excelling through them. The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image, but giving them the opportunity to create themselves. Steven Spielberg

6. A Person Held in High Regard

If you cannot see where you are going, ask someone who has been there before. (J Loren Norris) Like most folks, there is someone in your business network, on your job, or in your organization that you greatly esteem. They are just where you want to be when you grow up! Is there any better person to discuss your present concerns with? Most probably they have already encountered what you are now faced with, and will give you the exact formula for getting through it. They can even provide you with tried and true shortcuts!

7. A Manager and Upper Level Manager

The workplace is filled with issues and ordeals. When talking with your co-workers, teammates, and supervisors fail to bring results, it’s time to take things to a higher level. Often, upper management is not informed or is not correctly informed of what’s going on in the workplace. This is why you must step up and address your concerns with them one-on-one. The best managers lead by example, give employees feedback, and make mentoring their employees a priority. (Dianne Shaddock)

Feeling lost or stuck in a rut is truly a good place to be on occasion. It can be an important chapter in your life for gaining knowledge about yourself and about your own desires. If you govern yourself wisely, you’ll be quite astonished and pleased with the results after finding your way out of the maze, the fog, the lostness. Listening to your heart is not simple. Finding out who you are is not simple. It takes a lot of hard work and courage to get to know who you are and what you want. (Sue Bender) This is why it is so important to recruit help.

Featured photo credit: From Josephine Ferraro via psychotherapist-nyc.blogspot.com

More by this author

This Is What Happens When You Drink Only Water For 30 Days 7 People You Should Talk to When You Feel Lost What Will Happen To Your Body When You Stop Exercising Science Explains Why People Love Heavy Blanket With Air-Con In Summer For Sleep Why You Should Walk, Not Run, For Weight Loss And Better Health

Trending in Communication

1 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way 2 How to Break Free From Negative Thinking for Good 3 15 Simple Things You Can Do to Boost Your Daily Motivation 4 How to Say No When You Know You Say Yes Too Often 5 Feeling Super Stressed? Do This Daily Routine Every Day

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on September 18, 2020

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

For the original article by Celestine: 13 Helping Points When Things Don’t Go Your Way

“We all have problems. The way we solve them is what makes us different.” ~Unknown

“It’s not stress that kills us, it is our reaction to it.” – Hans Selye

Have you ever experienced moments when things just don’t go your way? For example, losing your keys, accidentally spilling your drink, waking up late, missing your buses/trains, forgetting to bring your things, and so on?

You’re not alone. All of us, myself included, experience times when things don’t go as we expect.

Here is my guide on how to deal with daily setbacks.

1. Take a step back and evaluate

When something bad happens, take a step back and evaluate the situation. Some questions to ask yourself:

  1. What is the problem?
  2. Are you the only person facing this problem in the world today?
  3. How does this problem look like at an individual level? A national level? On a global scale?
  4. What’s the worst possible thing that can happen to you as a result of this?
  5. How is it going to impact your life in the next 1 year? 5 years? 10 years?

Doing this exercise is not to undermine the problem or disclaiming responsibility, but to consider different perspectives, so you can adopt the best approach for it. Most problems we encounter daily may seem like huge issues when they crop up, but most, if not all, don’t have much impact in our life beyond that day.

Advertising

2. Vent if you have to, but don’t linger on the problem

If you feel very frustrated and need to let off some steam, go ahead and do that. Talk to a friend, complain, crib about it, or scream at the top of your lungs if it makes you happy.

At the same time, don’t get caught up with venting. While venting may temporarily relieve yourself, it’s not going to solve the problem ultimately. You don’t want to be an energy vampire.

Vent if there’s a need to, but do it for 15 to 20 minutes. Then move on.

3. Realize there are others out there facing this too

Even though the situation may be frustrating, you’re not alone. Remember there are almost 7 billion people in the world today, and chances are that other people have faced the same thing before too. Knowing it’s not just you helps you to get out of a self-victimizing mindset.

4. Process your thoughts/emotions

Process your thoughts/emotions with any of the four methods:

  1. Journal. Write your unhappiness in a private diary or in your blog. It doesn’t have to be formal at all – it can be a brain dump on rough paper or new word document. Delete after you are done.
  2. Audio taping. Record yourself as you talk out what’s on your mind. Tools include tape recorder, your PC (Audacity is a freeware for recording/editing audio) and your mobile (most mobiles today have audio recording functions). You can even use your voice mail for this. Just talking helps you to gain awareness of your emotions. After recording, play back and listen to what you said. You might find it quite revealing.
  3. Meditation. At its simplest form, meditation is just sitting/lying still and observing your reality as it is – including your thoughts and emotions. Some think that it involves some complex mambo-jumbo, but it doesn’t.
  4. Talking to someone. Talking about it with someone helps you work through the issue. It also gets you an alternate viewpoint and consider it from a different angle.

5. Acknowledge your thoughts

Don’t resist your thoughts, but acknowledge them. This includes both positive and negative thoughts.

By acknowledging, I mean recognizing these thoughts exist. So if say, you have a thought that says, “Wow, I’m so stupid!”, acknowledge that. If you have a thought that says, “I can’t believe this is happening to me again”, acknowledge that as well.

Advertising

Know that acknowledging the thoughts doesn’t mean you agree with them. It’s simply recognizing the existence of said thoughts so that you can stop resisting yourself and focus on the situation on hand.

6. Give yourself a break

If you’re very stressed out by the situation, and the problem is not time sensitive, then give yourself a break. Take a walk, listen to some music, watch a movie, or get some sleep. When you’re done, you should feel a lot more revitalized to deal with the situation.

7. Uncover what you’re really upset about

A lot of times, the anger we feel isn’t about the world. You may start off feeling angry at someone or something, but at the depth of it, it’s anger toward yourself.

Uncover the root of your anger. I have written a five part anger management series on how to permanently overcome anger.

After that, ask yourself: How can you improve the situation? Go to Step #9, where you define your actionable steps. Our anger comes from not having control on the situation. Sitting there and feeling infuriated is not going to change the situation. The more action we take, the more we will regain control over the situation, the better we will feel.

8. See this as an obstacle to be overcome

As Helen Keller once said,

“Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experiences of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, vision cleared, ambition inspired and success achieved.”

Whatever you’re facing right now, see it as an obstacle to be overcome. In every worthy endeavor, there’ll always be countless obstacles that emerge along the way. These obstacles are what separate the people who make it, and those who don’t. If you’re able to push through and overcome them, you’ll emerge a stronger person than before. It’ll be harder for anything to get you down in the future.

9. Analyze the situation – Focus on actionable steps

In every setback, there are going to be things that can’t be reversed since they have already occurred. You want to focus on things that can still be changed (salvageable) vs. things that have already happened and can’t be changed. The only time the situation changes is when you take steps to improve it. Rather than cry over spilt milk, work through your situation:

  1. What’s the situation?
  2. What’s stressing you about this situation?
  3. What are the next steps that’ll help you resolve them?
  4. Take action on your next steps!

After you have identified your next steps, act on them. The key here is to focus on the actionable steps, not the inactionable steps. It’s about regaining control over the situation through direct action.

10. Identify how it occurred (so it won’t occur again next time)

A lot of times we react to our problems. The problem occurs, and we try to make the best out of what has happened within the context. While developing a healthy coping mechanism is important (which is what the other helping points are on), it’s also equally important, if not more, to understand how the problem arose. This way, you can work on preventing it from taking place next time, vs. dealing reactively with it.

Most of us probably think the problem is outside of our control, but reality is most of the times it’s fully preventable. It’s just a matter of how much responsibility you take over the problem.

For example, for someone who can’t get a cab for work in the morning, he/she may see the problem as a lack of cabs in the country, or bad luck. However, if you trace to the root of the problem, it’s probably more to do with (a) Having unrealistic expectations of the length of time to get a cab. He/she should budget more time for waiting for a cab next time. (b) Oversleeping, because he/she was too tired from working late the previous day. He/she should allocate enough time for rest next time. He/she should also pick up better time management skills, so as to finish work in lesser time.

11. Realize the situation can be a lot worse

No matter how bad the situation is, it can always be much worse. A plus point vs. negative point analysis will help you realize that.

Advertising

12. Do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it

No matter how bad your situation may seem, do your best, but don’t kill yourself over it. Life is too beautiful to worry so much over daily issues. Take a step back (#1), give yourself a break if you need to (#6), and do what you can within your means (#9). Everything else will unfold accordingly. Worrying too much about the outcome isn’t going to change things or make your life any better.

13. Pick out the learning points from the encounter

There’s something to learn from every encounter. What have you learned from this situation? What lessons have you taken away?

After you identify your learning points, think about how you’re going to apply them moving forward. With this, you’ve clearly gained something from this encounter. You’ve walked away a stronger, wiser, better person, with more life lessons to draw from in the future.

Get the manifesto version of this article: [Manifesto] What To Do When Things Don’t Go Your Way

Featured photo credit: Alice Donovan Rouse via unsplash.com

Read Next