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7 People You Should Talk to When You Feel Lost

7 People You Should Talk to When You Feel Lost

Life is like a roller coaster. There are ups, downs, plunges, and sharp turns. Expect them and prepare to deal with them. Your emotional status takes a major hit during these periods, and reality can become clouded. The mind occasionally seems blank; what course of action to take next is quite unclear. It takes being lost in life at times in order to find your correct path and purpose. And the reality of this discovery can be downright scary.

Having the right attitude is foremost; resolve to be optimistic and confident. Be as American’s premier First Lady, Martha Washington, and declare, I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance; but, by our disposition.

Conversing with reliable people when dealing with change and adversity is of amazing benefit. It’s fantastic for your mental, physical and relationship health. Sharing how you feel, sharing what’s going on in your life, and in your head brings relief. It is such a good feeling to know that you are not alone during your trials.

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When faced with challenges, another crucial step (in taking charge and pursuing triumph) is talking them out. No man is an island. We all need someone to chat with in the happy times, and definitely in the melancholy times. Here are 7 People You Should Talk to When You Feel Lost – they will navigate you into the right direction.

1. Pastors

After you assure that your diet and exercise routine are in order, the spiritual or religious plane is the next best area to approach. When the mind and spirit are in harmony, great things can happen. And for sure, If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. (Author Unknown) Your pastor or other spiritual leader will be able to give you wisdom and understanding to achieve a suitable conquest. They will help you believe in yourself and your innate abilities. In many cases help will be available to enhance your skill set.

2. Teachers

Sometimes you listen to your teachers faster than you listen to your parents. For certain you spend many hours with them on a daily basis. They know a lot about you; they know how to get your attention. Real teachers genuinely care about you. They are forever instructing you to concentrate and keep your dialogue positive. Evidence is conclusive that your self-talk has a direct bearing on your performance. (Zig Ziglar) Do not hesitate to speak with your teachers about feeling lost. They want to help you.

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3. A Parent or Other Trustworthy Relative

Neither your friends nor family members are able to always be there for you. Nonetheless, it is essential that you take the time to talk with them. Not everyone has wonderful parents; but for each person who does, it is well worth it to talk with them about your troubles. After all, they are closest to you, they love you and they have been there, done that already. No one can tell you like a mom or dad to Just remember – when you think all is lost, the future remains. (Robert H. Goddard) It is so potent and holds such incredible meaning when it comes from their lips. No one gives you hope and stick-to-it-iveness like your parents.

Talking things over with your dad, mom or other responsible family member can significantly reduce your stress level. The fact that they understand what you are dealing with and are sincerely concerned eliminates a whole lot of worry and heartache.

In How to Talk to Your Parents by Camille Peri, Kathy McCoy, MD asserts that “Nobody is going to care about and love you with the intensity of your parents — even when you’re trying to push away from them. As intense and wonderful as friendships can be – and some of them are for life, but most of them aren’t – you can count on your parents when your friends might flake on you. Talking to your parents doesn’t mean you’re acting like a kid again. You can ask their opinion and you don’t have to accept everything they say.”

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4. A Genuine Friend

There really is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. And this is the comrade that you want to pour your heart out to. You can do this will a bonafide friend because they know when to talk and when to be quiet. They are super listeners and have no problem giving you the straight truth – even if it stings because they will be right there to apply soothing easement. They are experts at distinguishing your logic and intellect from your emotions.

Yes, real friends are aware that All of our reasoning ends in surrender to feeling. (Blaise Pascal) When you feel lost and out of it, you tend not to see things as they really are or can be. Your genuine friend picks up the slack for you. True friends support one another when the going is tough as well as when the merriment soars.

5. A Mentor or Life Coach

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come. (Joseph Campbell) If there was no disruption in your life, you would roll with the status quo and never grow. Consequently, in each life – including yours – some rain drops do fall. They get pretty heavy sometimes and cause you to reel and rock.

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A personal mentor or coach is idea for getting help and guidance at such a time as this. He or she is trained to help you realize why this change is necessary now. With a life coach or mentor’s assistance, you begin to understand the true meaning behind the challenges, and the requirements for excelling through them. The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image, but giving them the opportunity to create themselves. Steven Spielberg

6. A Person Held in High Regard

If you cannot see where you are going, ask someone who has been there before. (J Loren Norris) Like most folks, there is someone in your business network, on your job, or in your organization that you greatly esteem. They are just where you want to be when you grow up! Is there any better person to discuss your present concerns with? Most probably they have already encountered what you are now faced with, and will give you the exact formula for getting through it. They can even provide you with tried and true shortcuts!

7. A Manager and Upper Level Manager

The workplace is filled with issues and ordeals. When talking with your co-workers, teammates, and supervisors fail to bring results, it’s time to take things to a higher level. Often, upper management is not informed or is not correctly informed of what’s going on in the workplace. This is why you must step up and address your concerns with them one-on-one. The best managers lead by example, give employees feedback, and make mentoring their employees a priority. (Dianne Shaddock)

Feeling lost or stuck in a rut is truly a good place to be on occasion. It can be an important chapter in your life for gaining knowledge about yourself and about your own desires. If you govern yourself wisely, you’ll be quite astonished and pleased with the results after finding your way out of the maze, the fog, the lostness. Listening to your heart is not simple. Finding out who you are is not simple. It takes a lot of hard work and courage to get to know who you are and what you want. (Sue Bender) This is why it is so important to recruit help.

Featured photo credit: From Josephine Ferraro via psychotherapist-nyc.blogspot.com

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Last Updated on January 16, 2020

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

12 Simple Ways to Boost Your Confidence Right Now

The way you feel about yourself greatly influences how you live and interact with others. If you are confident about yourself, you tend to see yourself positively and actually enjoy spending time with and around people. You don’t feel self-conscious or awkward around others, and that allows you to live your fullest and happiest life.

However, if you’re drowning in a sea of self-doubt, hesitancy and shyness, you often withdraw and isolate yourself from others and avoid interacting and connecting with people. That anxiety you feel in the pit of your stomach when you are around people is holding you back greatly and it is not good for your emotional health and overall well-being. You need to do something about it if you are low in self-confidence or have friends or family members who are not confident.

“Confidence isn’t walking into a room thinking you’re better than everyone, it’s walking in not having to compare yourself to anyone” – Anonymous

Here are simple, practical tips to boost your confidence right now and make you feel and act your best.

1. Stop labeling yourself as awkward, timid or shy.

When you label yourself as awkward, timid or shy, you sub-consciously tell your mind to act accordingly and psychologically feel inclined to live up to those expectations. Instead of labeling and entertaining negative self-talk, visualize and affirm yourself as confident and strong. Close your eyes for a minute and visualize yourself in different situation as you would like to be.

Be your own cheerleader. Experts believe that positive affirmation and good mental practices like picturing yourself winning or achieving a goal can lead to greater feelings of self-assurance and prepare your brain for success.[1] As the saying goes, “seeing is believing.” Picture yourself as confident and soon enough you will begin to manifest behavior that gives evidence to this new ‘fact.’

2. Recognize that the world is not focused on you (unless, of course, you are Kanye West).

That means you don’t have to be excessively sensitive about who you are or what you are doing (or not doing). You are not on the center stage; there is no need for preoccupation with self and perfectionism. As rap music star Rocko sings, “You just do you and I will do me, aight?”

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Forget about trying to please everyone or being perfect. Trying to be perfect and being a people-pleaser puts too much pressure on you and creates unnecessary anxiety. Besides, people are too preoccupied with their own issues to pay much attention to your every move unless, of course, you are a mega famous, super celebrity like Beyonce or Kanye West.

3. Focus on other people as opposed to yourself.

If you are low on confidence, self-conscious, nervous and shy in social situations, focus your attention on other people and what they are saying or doing instead of focusing on your own awkwardness.

For example, think about what it is that is interesting about the person who’s the centre of the party or the guy or girl you are talking with. Prompt them to talk more about themselves and be genuinely curious and interested in what they say. You will instantly come across as confident and warmhearted.

People generally want to talk about themselves, be heard and understood. They will love it when you’re eager and willing to listen to them and really hear what they have to say.

This habit of focusing more on what you love in others as opposed to what you dislike in yourself will not only help you become more assertive and comfortable in virtually all social situations, but also instantly make you feel great about yourself.

4. Know (and accept) yourself for who you are.

Chinese military general, strategist and philosopher Sun Tzu, author of the internationally acclaimed book The Art of War, said, “Know yourself and you will win all battles.” Even in the battle with lack of confidence, you will need to know yourself to win.

Knowing yourself starts with understanding that people are not all the same, neither are all social situation suitable for everyone. You might not be confident in large gatherings, but you could be bold and confident in one-on-one and small group interactions. We all have our own unique gifts and unique ways of expressing ourselves. Embrace yours!

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Introverts, for example, have a quiet confidence that is, unfortunately, often confused for shyness. They are naturally low key and prefer to spend time alone. However, this natural disposition affords them certain unique gifts, such as an ability to listen better than most people and notice things that others don’t.

Your uniqueness is where your strength and advantage lies. You won’t be comfortable and confident in all situations all the time. Albert Einstein said,

“Everybody is a genius. But if you judge a fish by its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid.”

5. Crack a smile.

If there is one sure way to instantly boost your confidence, it’s cracking a smile. Christine Clapp, a public speaking expert at The George Washington University, says that flashing those pretty, pearly white teeth will immediately make you appear both confident and composed. But, the effect of smiling is not just external. Studies show that smiling can also help nix feelings of stress and pave the way for a happier and more relaxed you.[2]

Not a bad return for something seemingly so trite, wouldn’t you agree?

6. Break a sweat—with exercise.

Working out is another great way to make yourself feel amazing and confident. Science has shown that exercising increases your endorphins, helps reduce stress, tones your muscles and makes you feel happy and confident.[3]

And hey, all you have to do is take a walk a few times a week and you’ll see the benefits. What seems to matter—as far as your confidence goes—is whether you break a sweat, not how strenuous your session is, which is pretty cool. Start working out now.

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7. Groom yourself.

This might seem mundane, but it’s amazing how much of a difference a shower and shave can have on your confidence and self-image. And when you spritz on a scent, the boost on confidence and self-esteem is incredible. As it turns out, your favorite fragrance does more than make you smell oh-so-nice.

A study found that a fragrance can inspire confidence in men. Interestingly, the study also found that the more a man likes the fragrance, the more confident he might feel. Another study found that 90% of women feel more confident while wearing a scent than those who go fragrance-free.

8. Dress nicely.

Another one that might seem trite, but it works. If you dress nicely, you’ll instantly feel good about yourself and give your confidence a real boost. That is largely because you’ll feel attractive, presentable and sometimes even successful in nice clothes.

While dressing nicely means something different for everyone, it does not necessarily mean wearing $500 designer outfits. It means wearing clothes that are clean, that you are comfortable in and that are nice-looking and presentable, including casual clothes.

9. Do activities you enjoy.

Whether it is reading a book, playing a musical instrument, riding your bicycle or going fishing, do what you really enjoy and what makes you truly happy often. It will boost your self-esteem, soothe your ego and allow you to identify with your gifts and talents. That will in turn bolster your self-belief and grow your confidence exponentially.

You might not become popular for doing what you love, but you might not even want to be popular at all. Being popular doesn’t make you happy; doing what you love does.

10. Prepare for the possibility of rejection / setback.

Late World No. 1 professional tennis player Arthur Ashe said, “One important key to success is self-confidence. A key to self-confidence is preparation.” You need to prepare for the possibility of rejection and setback.

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Why?

Everybody suffers rejection and setback at one point or another. You are not exempted. The question on your mind, therefore, should not be if you will be rejected, but how you will handle rejection when it comes.

Prepare yourself adequately in every situation to minimize the risk and effect of rejection and so that your confidence is not broken. For example, learn public speaking and rehearse what you are going to say beforehand if you have landed a public speaking engagement. That way, you are sure of yourself and confident you have what it takes to hack it. If you are rejected, don’t take it personally.

Rejection and setbacks happen to the best of us. Take it as a learning experience. Learn from your mistakes and move on.

11. Face uncomfortable situations square in the face.

Don’t run away from uncomfortable situations. Running away from people or situations because you feel scared, shy or timid only confirms and reinforces your shyness. Instead, face the situation that makes you uneasy square in the face. For example, go ahead and talk to that person you are afraid to approach, or go straight to the front of your yoga class! What’s the worst that can happen?

Prepare and be ready for any eventuality. The more you face your fears, the more you realize you are stronger than you thought and the more confident you get. This simple, yet admittedly courageous, act makes you unstoppable. You get comfortable being uncomfortable and begin to feel like you can take on the world. And that is the hallmark of someone destined for great things.

12. Sit up straight and walk tall—you are awesome!

Yes, sit up straight and believe you are awesome. Don’t slump in your chair or slouch your shoulders. Experts say the right stance can not only keep your self-esteem and mood lifted, but also lead to more confidence in your own thoughts.[4]

The way to sit is to open up your chest and keep your head level so that you look and feel poised and assured. And when you get up, stand tall and walk like you’re on a mission. People who sit up straight and walk tall are more attractive and instantly feel more confident. Try it now: you’ll feel fierce and confident just by sitting up straight and walking tall.

Featured photo credit: Freshh Connection via unsplash.com

Reference

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