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7 People You Should Talk to When You Feel Lost

7 People You Should Talk to When You Feel Lost

Life is like a roller coaster. There are ups, downs, plunges, and sharp turns. Expect them and prepare to deal with them. Your emotional status takes a major hit during these periods, and reality can become clouded. The mind occasionally seems blank; what course of action to take next is quite unclear. It takes being lost in life at times in order to find your correct path and purpose. And the reality of this discovery can be downright scary.

Having the right attitude is foremost; resolve to be optimistic and confident. Be as American’s premier First Lady, Martha Washington, and declare, I am determined to be cheerful and happy in whatever situation I may find myself. For I have learned that the greater part of our misery or unhappiness is determined not by our circumstance; but, by our disposition.

Conversing with reliable people when dealing with change and adversity is of amazing benefit. It’s fantastic for your mental, physical and relationship health. Sharing how you feel, sharing what’s going on in your life, and in your head brings relief. It is such a good feeling to know that you are not alone during your trials.

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When faced with challenges, another crucial step (in taking charge and pursuing triumph) is talking them out. No man is an island. We all need someone to chat with in the happy times, and definitely in the melancholy times. Here are 7 People You Should Talk to When You Feel Lost – they will navigate you into the right direction.

1. Pastors

After you assure that your diet and exercise routine are in order, the spiritual or religious plane is the next best area to approach. When the mind and spirit are in harmony, great things can happen. And for sure, If God brings you to it, He will bring you through it. (Author Unknown) Your pastor or other spiritual leader will be able to give you wisdom and understanding to achieve a suitable conquest. They will help you believe in yourself and your innate abilities. In many cases help will be available to enhance your skill set.

2. Teachers

Sometimes you listen to your teachers faster than you listen to your parents. For certain you spend many hours with them on a daily basis. They know a lot about you; they know how to get your attention. Real teachers genuinely care about you. They are forever instructing you to concentrate and keep your dialogue positive. Evidence is conclusive that your self-talk has a direct bearing on your performance. (Zig Ziglar) Do not hesitate to speak with your teachers about feeling lost. They want to help you.

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3. A Parent or Other Trustworthy Relative

Neither your friends nor family members are able to always be there for you. Nonetheless, it is essential that you take the time to talk with them. Not everyone has wonderful parents; but for each person who does, it is well worth it to talk with them about your troubles. After all, they are closest to you, they love you and they have been there, done that already. No one can tell you like a mom or dad to Just remember – when you think all is lost, the future remains. (Robert H. Goddard) It is so potent and holds such incredible meaning when it comes from their lips. No one gives you hope and stick-to-it-iveness like your parents.

Talking things over with your dad, mom or other responsible family member can significantly reduce your stress level. The fact that they understand what you are dealing with and are sincerely concerned eliminates a whole lot of worry and heartache.

In How to Talk to Your Parents by Camille Peri, Kathy McCoy, MD asserts that “Nobody is going to care about and love you with the intensity of your parents — even when you’re trying to push away from them. As intense and wonderful as friendships can be – and some of them are for life, but most of them aren’t – you can count on your parents when your friends might flake on you. Talking to your parents doesn’t mean you’re acting like a kid again. You can ask their opinion and you don’t have to accept everything they say.”

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4. A Genuine Friend

There really is a friend that sticks closer than a brother. And this is the comrade that you want to pour your heart out to. You can do this will a bonafide friend because they know when to talk and when to be quiet. They are super listeners and have no problem giving you the straight truth – even if it stings because they will be right there to apply soothing easement. They are experts at distinguishing your logic and intellect from your emotions.

Yes, real friends are aware that All of our reasoning ends in surrender to feeling. (Blaise Pascal) When you feel lost and out of it, you tend not to see things as they really are or can be. Your genuine friend picks up the slack for you. True friends support one another when the going is tough as well as when the merriment soars.

5. A Mentor or Life Coach

We must be willing to get rid of the life we’ve planned, so as to have the life that is waiting for us. The old skin has to be shed before the new one can come. (Joseph Campbell) If there was no disruption in your life, you would roll with the status quo and never grow. Consequently, in each life – including yours – some rain drops do fall. They get pretty heavy sometimes and cause you to reel and rock.

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A personal mentor or coach is idea for getting help and guidance at such a time as this. He or she is trained to help you realize why this change is necessary now. With a life coach or mentor’s assistance, you begin to understand the true meaning behind the challenges, and the requirements for excelling through them. The delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image, but giving them the opportunity to create themselves. Steven Spielberg

6. A Person Held in High Regard

If you cannot see where you are going, ask someone who has been there before. (J Loren Norris) Like most folks, there is someone in your business network, on your job, or in your organization that you greatly esteem. They are just where you want to be when you grow up! Is there any better person to discuss your present concerns with? Most probably they have already encountered what you are now faced with, and will give you the exact formula for getting through it. They can even provide you with tried and true shortcuts!

7. A Manager and Upper Level Manager

The workplace is filled with issues and ordeals. When talking with your co-workers, teammates, and supervisors fail to bring results, it’s time to take things to a higher level. Often, upper management is not informed or is not correctly informed of what’s going on in the workplace. This is why you must step up and address your concerns with them one-on-one. The best managers lead by example, give employees feedback, and make mentoring their employees a priority. (Dianne Shaddock)

Feeling lost or stuck in a rut is truly a good place to be on occasion. It can be an important chapter in your life for gaining knowledge about yourself and about your own desires. If you govern yourself wisely, you’ll be quite astonished and pleased with the results after finding your way out of the maze, the fog, the lostness. Listening to your heart is not simple. Finding out who you are is not simple. It takes a lot of hard work and courage to get to know who you are and what you want. (Sue Bender) This is why it is so important to recruit help.

Featured photo credit: From Josephine Ferraro via psychotherapist-nyc.blogspot.com

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The Gentle Art of Saying No

The Gentle Art of Saying No

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

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But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

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What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

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But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here are the Top 10 tips for learning the Gentle Art of Saying No:

  1. Value your time. Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”
  2. Know your priorities. Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time? For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.
  3. Practice saying no. Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.
  4. Don’t apologize. A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.
  5. Stop being nice. Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets. Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.
  6. Say no to your boss. Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning. But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.
  7. Pre-empting. It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting, “Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”
  8. Get back to you. Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them: “After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.” At least you gave it some consideration.
  9. Maybe later. If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say, “This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].” Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.
  10. It’s not you, it’s me. This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time. Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

Featured photo credit: Pexels via pexels.com

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