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5 Things You May Want to Know About Yourself

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5 Things You May Want to Know About Yourself

Life is all about going along for the ride. This has never been a cakewalk for anyone. While some people respond to life’s adversities with optimism and hope, there are others who are not as blessed to experience or advocate the same perspective. Self-control and patience play an inadvertently important role during the toughest phases of our lives. And yes, it is quite easy to formulate a plan and preach along the lines. A lot depends on how an individual takes in what is learned and adapting it for betterment.

You may be wondering as to how one can tune their minds on a manual mode in the difficult circumstances. Some of us talk to the therapists, while the rest read up online for inspiration. If you are in the league of the latter, here is an explanation coming your way, precisely explaining the truth that you may want to know about yourself. This is very important, as looking into your inner abilities paves the way to tackle those outer obstacles. The five most important things that you need to know about yourself as a part of human race are:

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1. You are a survivor

Yes. The human race is all about surviving. Human beings are the most superior of all the living beings, we have been made with an impeccable capacity to fight, adapt and exist. Surviving great mishaps and problems is really not a challenge for us. We just get slow and demotivated, driven by the external factors.

The truth is, you have every bearing to stand up during the test of time to fight it out and get to the end destination. Be it a personal tragedy, financial difficulty, or a mental conflict, you have been equipped with an invisible shield to use and protect yourself from the adversities. It is all up to you as to how to put this power into full use.

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2. You have been pre-programmed to succeed 

Remember the period of evolution when the man came out of monkeys? Think through the process. We have been inherently programmed to evolve and emerge. Evolving oneself is not just about changing habitat and the surroundings. It is also about rising above tough situations and proving to be bigger than that.

Remember that it is your most real self to adapt, reboot and relive. The process may take varied time length for different people. But the process is inevitable. You will ultimately stand up to take charge of the situation. You have been born with it.

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3. You will make your own rules

Take a look at the rules that have been set in place for the totality of civilization. They are nothing but man-made arrangements for ideal conditions. The same holds good for your individual struggle. The fact that you have landed in a particular situation will be largely due to the way you would have behaved or reacted to it.

4. You will get better, not bitter!

There is a saying – you can either become better or bitter with difficulties. Be assured that your mind will first look at the ‘better’ options and not bitter. You have to grab the moment and instill some pep talk that keeps you driving towards bettering yourself after a hurdle. Now, this ability is not easily acquired for most of us.

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But remember that it is not impossible to do so. Programming your mind for better tomorrow sows the seeds of progress in the sub conscious. Better thoughts that lead to better actions and even better results. You have it in you to get better by the day, and not otherwise.

5. Look into the mirror – that is your final competition

There is no better contender in life than your own self. It is important to battle out with your negative feelings and emerge positive. This is a bit of work that can be done with self-motivation and constant affirmations. You are your end game and the rest is all a big fiction that goes on around. Look into the mirror; that is your ultimate contest.

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Win over your own inner demons, and the outer devils will be easily taken care of. Most times, it is all happening in your mind, and that is where you can change the plot. Make sure you follow this simple Mantra to enrich your inner soul and mind-set.

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Lisa smith

Writer, Author & Designer

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Last Updated on November 18, 2021

10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

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10 Proven Ways to Judge a Person’s Character

We all fall into the trap of judging a person’s character by their appearance. How wrong we are! All too often, the real character of the person only appears when some negative event hits them or you. Then you may see a toxic person emerging from the ruins and it is often a shock.

A truly frightening example is revealed in the book by O’Toole in Bowman called Dangerous Instincts: How Gut Instincts Betray Us. A perfectly respectable, charming, well dressed neighbor was found to have installed a torture chamber in his garage where he was systematically abusing kidnapped women. This is an extreme example, but it does show how we can be totally deceived by a person’s physical appearance, manners and behavior.

So, what can you do? You want to be able to assess personal qualities when you come into contact with colleagues, fresh acquaintances and new friends who might even become lifelong partners. You want to know if they are:

  • honest
  • reliable
  • competent
  • kind and compassionate
  • capable of taking the blame
  • able to persevere
  • modest and humble
  • pacific and can control anger.

The secret is to reserve judgment and take your time. Observe them in certain situations; look at how they react. Listen to them talking, joking, laughing, explaining, complaining, blaming, praising, ranting, and preaching. Only then will you be able to judge their character. This is not foolproof, but if you follow the 10 ways below, you have a pretty good chance of not ending up in an abusive relationship.

1. Is anger a frequent occurrence?

All too often, angry reactions which may seem to be excessive are a sign that there are underlying issues. Do not think that every person who just snaps and throws his/her weight around mentally and physically is just reacting normally. Everyone has an occasional angry outburst when driving or when things go pear-shaped.

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But if this is almost a daily occurrence, then you need to discover why and maybe avoid that person. Too often, anger will escalate to violent and aggressive behavior. You do not want to be near someone who thinks violence can solve personal or global problems.

2. Can you witness acts of kindness?

How often do you see this person being kind and considerate? Do they give money to beggars, donate to charity, do voluntary work or in some simple way show that they are willing to share the planet with about 7 billion other people?

I was shocked when a guest of mine never showed any kindness to the weak and disadvantaged people in our town. She was ostensibly a religious person, but I began to doubt the sincerity of her beliefs.

“The best index to a person’s character is how he treats people who can’t do him any good, and how he treats people who can’t fight back.”

Abigail Van Buren

3. How does this person take the blame?

Maybe you know that s/he is responsible for a screw-up in the office or even in not turning up on time for a date. Look at their reaction. If they start blaming other colleagues or the traffic, well, this is an indication that they are not willing to take responsibility for their mistakes.

4. Don’t use Facebook as an indicator.

You will be relieved to know that graphology (the study of that forgotten skill of handwriting) is no longer considered a reliable test of a person’s character. Neither is Facebook stalking, fortunately. A study showed that Facebook use of foul language, sexual innuendo and gossip were not reliable indicators of a candidate’s character or future performance in the workplace.

5. Read their emails.

Now a much better idea is to read the person’s emails. Studies show that the use of the following can indicate certain personality traits:

  • Too many exclamation points may reveal a sunny disposition
  • Frequent errors may indicate apathy
  • Use of smileys is the only way a person can smile at you
  • Use of the third person may reveal a certain formality
  • Too many question marks can show anger
  • Overuse of capital letters is regarded as shouting. They are a definite no-no in netiquette, yet a surprising number of  people still use them.

6. Watch out for the show offs.

Listen to people as they talk. How often do they mention their achievements, promotions, awards and successes? If this happens a lot, it is a sure indication that this person has an over-inflated view of his/her achievements. They are unlikely to be modest or show humility. What a pity!  Another person to avoid.

7. Look for evidence of perseverance.

A powerful indicator of grit and tenacity is when a person persists and never gives up when they really want to achieve a life goal. Look for evidence of them keeping going in spite of enormous difficulties.

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Great achievements by scientists and inventors all bear the hallmark of perseverance. We only have to think of Einstein, Edison (who failed thousands of times) and Nelson Mandela to get inspiration. The US Department of Education is in no doubt about how grit, tenacity and perseverance will be key success factors for youth in the 21st century.

8. Their empathy score is high.

Listen to how they talk about the less fortunate members of our society such as the poor, immigrants and the disabled. Do you notice that they talk in a compassionate way about these people? The fact that they even mention them is a strong indicator of empathy.

People with zero empathy will never talk about the disadvantaged. They will rarely ask you a question about a difficult time or relationship. They will usually steer the conversation back to themselves. These people have zero empathy and in extreme cases, they are psychopaths who never show any feelings towards their victims.

9. Learn how to be socially interactive.

We are social animals and this is what makes us so uniquely human. If a person is isolated or a loner, this may be a negative indicator of their character. You want to meet a person who knows about trust, honesty and loyalty. The only way to practice these great qualities is to actually interact socially. The great advantage is that you can share problems and celebrate success and joy together.

“One can acquire everything in solitude, except character.”

Stendhal

 10. Avoid toxic people.

These people are trying to control others and often are failing to come to terms with their own failures. Typical behavior and conversations may concern:

  • Envy or jealousy
  • Criticism of partners, colleagues and friends
  • Complaining about their own lack of success
  • Blaming others for their own bad luck or failure
  • Obsession with themselves and their problems

Listen to these people talk and you will quickly discover that you need to avoid them at all costs because their negativity will drag you down. In addition, as much as you would like to help them, you are not qualified to do so.

Now, having looked at some of the best ways to judge a person, what about yourself? How do others see you? Why not take Dr. Phil’s quiz and find out. Can you bear it?

Featured photo credit: Jacek Dylag via unsplash.com

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