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10 Lessons On Happiness That All Women Turning 30 Should Know

10 Lessons On Happiness That All Women Turning 30 Should Know

Sometime around next year, I am turning 30. A new milestone, in my personal opinion. Despite, getting elevated by that mere thought of turning 30, and planning to celebrate it in style, there are some things that, we, the soon-to-be-30 women, should need to remember. It doesn’t matter whether you are married and have kids, whether you are a successful entrepreneur, you are single, or are a housewife, whatever it is you are, you should always keep in mind that happiness should never, ever depart from your life.

I know some women who are yet to turn 30 simply get into some kind of “depression” in regards to their age. If you remind them of their upcoming birthday, they would say, “thanks for reminding me of my age! Grr!” To them, I would say, age is just a number. It is how you prefer to live your life, that matters. And to them, I would also say (as well as the rest of the near 30s women from round the globe) here are 10 lessons for you on happiness that you should know before (and maybe after) you turn 30.

1. Value your relationships.

By now, you are, more or less, settled in life. You have an amazing job, companionable colleagues, a sufficient amount of finances to live you off agreeably. Or, you have a house full of playful, tiny members, running around the house, and your time is spend cooking, cleaning, babysitting, and doing everything in between, leaving you totally exhausted at the end of the day. Despite your day starting at 6:00am and concluding at 10:00pm, don’t forget those valuable people who have moulded you the way you are. Call your parents, contact your siblings, and communicate with your friends. Try to make it regularly. Talking to them can relax your mind. Remember, they are the ones who stay with you through thick and thin.

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2. Don’t rush, take it slowly.

This is in regards to everything in your life. Don’t be impatient. If you are dating someone, take your time to decide whether your partner is the right one for you, whether you want to spend the rest of your life with them. If you love doing something, do it. For example, don’t change your career because it will make you earn more. Do that thing which you love the most. Even if it takes time to grow into your choice of path, let it take time. Being 30 doesn’t mean you have solved the puzzle of your life. You are still young.

3. Everything is not about your work, you have a life, too!

Moulding up your career and life brings me to this point. There are so many of the young you’s out there who would dedicate their entire life to their work. And here, I am not talking about only office related services. It can be household chores, it can be anything that is monotonic. There’s a saying that all work but no play makes Jack a dull boy. We all need to play every now and then. Utilize one of your weekends and plan a day out with your pals. Watch movies, visit outskirts of your city, travel. Different activities will unclog your mind.

4. Money can’t buy happiness.

Women, you can contend that shopping is your happiness, and for that you need money. Can’t argue with this. But does happiness entirely depend on money? Not really. There are those little things in life that matters most. For example, a long phone conversation with your bestie. Those lazy vacations you spend with your family at home. Or bathing in the sun, reading your favorite book in your favorite park. The silly laughs and the lamest jokes. And no, just because you’re an “adult” doesn’t mean that you can’t enjoy all these over and over again.

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5. No one’s picture perfect.

The models you adore on the glossy magazines are photoshopped. So don’t fret over making yourself copy the supermodels. They have flaws, too. And they are beautiful. So are you. Embrace yourself, embrace your flaws.

6. Build your life on experiences.

Experience is the best way to learn new things in life. It is believed that through experiences, one can learn first-hand lessons, more important and valuable than what one learns at school or through text books. Traveling is one form of a first-hand experience. The more you travel, the more knowledge of the world you acquire. The more you taste various cuisines, the more you get to know about diverse cultures. The more you socialise, the more you can understand human nature. The more you show interest in miscellaneous topics, the more you get to expand your knowledge. So, the next time you want to learn dancing, go for it. Don’t stop yourself.

7. Comparisons create unnecessary pressure.

This is one thing, us who turn 30 soon do naturally. We try to compare ourselves with others our age. That is quite wrong, to be honest. It simply puts lots of pressure on yourself, leading you to depression, and frustration, and all those negativities. Why would you care if your friend is rich enough to spend thousands per month? Or if she is settled down in life with husband and kids? Everyone has their priorities. Everyone shapes their own life. You are doing it, too. Don’t grumble about what others have or do.

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8. Failure is the pillar of success.

Nelson Mandela once said, “Do not judge me by my successes, judge me by how many times I fell down and got back up again.”

Aim for success, but don’t expect it to come to your door the very first time. You will always fall down. This will teach you what went wrong. That lesson will take you further in life. Picking up on your failures will eventually lead you to success.

9. Allow your heart to talk once in a while.

By now, you are pretty much accustomed to seniors advising you to “use your brain, rather than your heart”. But sometimes it is also advisable to use your heart rather than your brain. For example, the other day, my daughter had fever early in the morning. By the time she had to go to daycare, her fever was gone and she was playing. My brain was telling me that she is fine and you can go to work. But my heart didn’t want to leave her. I ended up listening to my brain (it’s wise, right?). By the fourth hour at my office, a call came that my daughter’s fever rose again and that I should come immediately. Little decisions like this in life need the heart, too.If your heart says do this, I think you can always give it a go. See where it takes you.

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10. Don’t forget to laugh out loud (lol)

Cracking jokes, laughing hard till you snort, this is an important part of life. You have enough time to enjoy life. Being 30 is never ever considered to be old enough to take life seriously. You can easily be silly in public with your people. Do whatever makes you laugh, makes you fall in love with life. We are still young to rejoice life to the fullest!

Featured photo credit: paultarasenko via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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