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The Routine is the Goal, Not the Result

The Routine is the Goal, Not the Result

Goal setting is fun. Really fun. We get to think about all the cool stuff that we want to do with our lives, all the places we wanna go, the weights we wanna lift, all the radness we want to achieve. When you achieve something you want to, you can proudly cross an item off your list — one that you have earned.

But if goals are so rad, why do so many people struggle with them?

Why do we spend so much time trying to create new and better ones when the old ones don’t pan out as expected?

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Case in Point: New Years Resolutions. They’ve become such a watered-down exercise in personal change that they have become a running joke. At cocktail parties across the world on the eve of a New Year people joke about the resolutions they are never going to keep.

But if we have the intention to do better, to be fitter and faster, than why do we have such a hard time seeing them through?

Reasons Goal Setting is So Tough

Deadlines rarely work. Some people work with deadlines, others don’t. When those deadlines come in too quickly, we get discouraged and throw the whole goal out the window.

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We stink at forecasting at how long it will take to accomplish something. There is nothing worse than coming up against a random setback or something you didn’t come up with in the first place. Illness, injury, a full weekend bender of Netflix can all seem like setbacks but can also count as simply living your life. Those who are diving into a fresh workout plan, and aren’t as realistic as they need to be about how much time it takes to make that progress are especially prone to this.

Goals are all or nothing. Goal setting tends to make us a little crazy. And panicked. As a result, we launch ourselves into whatever it is we want to achieve with everything we have. Before long—for some it is a couple days, others make it for a couple weeks—we get burnt out. A routine—especially one that is so small that it is impossible to say no to, builds something exceptionally more powerful than anything you can achieve with a spurt of high amounts of effort—and that is making exercise habitual.

Deadlines are almost always inflexible. Achieving a goal is a best case scenario. It requires you to be 100% on, every time you are at the gym, with every day required to be a top-notch workout in order to achieve your goal.“I am going to need to go to the gym every day for the rest of the month to hit my target!” And while holding a gun to your head might work for some people, it doesn’t work for most.

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Goals leave you feeling “less than.” The thing I like least about goals is that the moment you make one, it immediately puts you in a position of feeling as “less than” Your goal is to lose ten pounds? Until that happens you will always feel like something is lacking. Wanna add 100 pounds to your bench press? You’ll view yourself unfavorably or as “weak” until you hit that goal.

The Power of Implementing Routines

So if there are limitations to goals and goal setting, how do we go about getting the things we want? Simply: Adopt routine. Be willing to embrace the boring consistency that comes from showing up every day at the gym. After all… Something funny happens when we adopt the routine and systems.

They remove the pressure that comes with them, and takes you out of a mindset where you are stressed about whether you are progressing fast enough, to a mindset where you are focusing on taking things one day at a time. At that point the end goal, the reason you initially got back into the gym or ramped up your commitment to the gym, is almost moot. The goal, the scale, the measuring tape, are all things that fall to the back of your mind.

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And to be frank, it is a pretty liberating feeling.

When you can unshackle yourself from the chains and pressures of that goal in the horizon, of stressing about whether or not you are making the kind of progress you want at the pace you desire, than you can unburden yourself and focus solely on the workout today

Destroying your squat PR is going to be a hell of a thing. Running 2 miles further then the week before is awesome. Benching a weight you always thought impossible is rad. Something to pause and celebrate.

But being the guy or gal that shows up every day and absolutely kills it at the gym? Now that is something to be stoked about.

This post was originally published over at YourWorkoutBook.com.

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Last Updated on August 13, 2018

5 Exercises To Improve Intimacy and Create a Better Relationship

5 Exercises To Improve Intimacy and Create a Better Relationship

Making love can be simultaneously the most pleasurable and the most stressful experience that we share with another human being. It is a natural conclusion of the ritual of intimacy we engage in with a person we find attractive on both a physical and psychological level. Yet, we are far removed from our animalistic roots, and that which was once a matter of instinct has become somewhat complex. This is a good thing; we have grown as a society, and there are many factors involved when it comes to the relationship between sexual partners. However, we have also lost a great deal of the physical prowess our primitive ancestors had.

They engaged in a huge amount of physical activities daily — activities that ensured their cardiovascular system and muscles were in great shape, which allowed them to have healthy libidos, strong erections, and the muscular strength, limberness and endurance to maintain different positions for a long time without getting exhausted. Luckily, we can regain some of these animalistic traits with the right kind of training. Here are some essential exercises that will help improve your relationship, but making you more confident in intimate settings, which means that you’ll have more satisfying intercourse.

Don Juan

    1. Cardio for Stamina

    If you’re out of shape, the first thing you’ll notice during intercourse is that you start to breathe heavily, sweat profusely and tire easily. This means you’ll have to shift your posture frequently and limit yourself to a few positions you feel comfortable with or significantly slow down the pace. A high BMI has also been linked to potential problems with erectile dysfunction. Cardiovascular exercises like running, jumping rope, swimming and cycling will build up your aerobic stamina and enable you to perform longer before becoming fatigued, thus having better intercourse. They’ll also help manage your weight, possibly helping performance.

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    Triathlon symbol
      • Running – 10-20 minutes a day (1-3 miles a day is more than enough)
      • Jumping rope – 5-20 minutes a day
      • Swimming – 30 minutes a day
      • Cycling – 30 minutes a day

      The time in minutes denotes time spent actively performing the exercise, and you need to factor in a bit more time for warming up before and cooling down after the exercises.

      These exercises can be performed every day or every other day, and the goal is to work on both endurance and speed. Don’t just go at a snail’s pace; constantly try to improve your time or add some mileage.

      2. Strength-Training for Your Lower Body and Core

      The next thing you’ll need to focus on is improving both the strength and muscular endurance of the hip flexors, abdominals and spinal erectors. These are the muscles engaged in thrusting and circular motions, and they also stabilize your body in a number of different positions. The legs also play an important role, particularly in standing and kneeling positions. Here are a few exercises that will help you strengthen up this area:

      Barbell squats
        • Heavy barbell squats – set up at a power rack at the gym and make sure you use proper form and weights that you can lift 3-8 times. Do this exercise before anything else in the gym for 4-5 sets to get big and powerful legs, as well as tighten up the muscles of the core. This is useful for both men and women, particularly if you enjoy the woman-on-top positions and standing positions. You can do hack squats on the machine if your gym lacks a power rack, but you won’t get the core-strengthening benefits

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        Zercher squat
          • Zercher squatsthis type of squat is a perfect way for guys to strengthen their body for standing positions where the woman is lifted off the ground. Build up a foundation of strength first, and then use lighter weights and go for 10-12 repetitions to focus on muscle endurance.

          Glute bridge
            • Glute bridgethis exercise is great for working the glutes and hip thrusters, and should be done for ultra-high reps —up to 100 — to increase muscle endurance. Once you become stronger in this movement, you can upgrade to the barbell glute bridge and keep the reps high — around 10 to 15.

            Hyperextensions
              • Hyperextensions – excellent for strengthening the spinal erectors, this exercise (or a variation of it) may be done in most gyms and even at home. Do 2 to 3 sets of 10 to 12 repetitions at the end of your workout.

              Ab wheel rollout
                • Ab wheel rollout – this is a great exercise for strengthening the abs, and requires only a piece of inexpensive equipment. It will help you stay stable and hold positions longer without getting tired during intercourse. Do three sets of this workout for as many repetitions as you can.

                Cross body crunch
                  • Cross body crunchthis exercise improves your ability to perform explosive twisting motions, particularly good for improving your stamina in the spoon position where you’e lying on your side. Do 2 to 3 sets of this exercise at the end of your workout.

                  Incorporate these exercises into your routine 2 to 3 times a week.

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                  3. Upper-Body Strength Training

                  Upper-body strength plays an important role in many popular sex positions where the arms are used to provide a stable base or hold onto the partner. These including missionary, doggy style, the stand and carry (with the woman holding onto the man’s neck) and others. Use these simple exercises to improve upper body strength and endurance:

                  Plank exercise
                    • Plank – while bench pressing is great for building a big chest, you will find yourself in need of static strength, muscle endurance and a strong core. This exercise is a great way to increase the amount of time you are able to hold positions that require you to support yourself with your arms. For added difficulty, straighten out your arms like at the top of a pushup and hold as long as you can.

                    Close grip pushups
                      • Close pushups – a pushup variation that focuses on triceps, which are the first to give out during a prolonged missionary or similar position. Go for very high reps, 20 t0 50, to work on muscle endurance.

                      Chin ups
                        • Chin-ups – A great upper back and biceps builder, this exercise will also target the core if you try to be as straight as possible when lifting yourself up. You can jump to help make things easier, or just hold as long as you can if you aren’t strong enough to perform a single chin up. Do 3 to 4 sets for as many reps as you can.

                        These exercises, done about three times a week, will help you develop a strong upper body that can keep going and hold you up for extended periods of time.

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                        4. Pelvic-Floor Exercises

                        You don’t have to perform these at the gym, although you could do them after your workout without anyone even noticing. The idea behind Kegel exercises is to improve blood flow to the sex organs and strengthen the muscles of the pelvic floor in both men and women. By locating these muscles and tightening and relaxing them for intervals of 5 seconds for 10 to 15 repetitions at a time, several times a day, you can improve pleasure and performance during sex. Women can tighten their vaginal walls for increased pleasure to both them and their partner, while men can delay ejaculation by tightening these muscles.

                        5. Flexibility Moves for Legs and Hips

                        Lion stretching

                          If you want to avoid getting cramps — or even worse, pulling a muscle during intercourse — you should do a few simple stretches every day. The more limber you are, the more comfortable you’ll be with more exotic poses. Here are a few simple stretches to improve hip and leg flexibility:

                          Take a few minutes to warm up with some light running or jumping jacks before stretching, and spend some 10 minutes on these stretches. You can do them in the morning and at night, or shortly before intercourse.

                          With just a few hours a week devoted to exercise, you can improve your relationship significantly. If you focus on these exercises, over time, you just might become dynamite in bed.

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