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My Menopause Journey with my Adolescent Son

My Menopause Journey with my Adolescent Son

Menopause can be a difficult time for a woman. Add one adolescent son and you have a volatile mix of a short-tempered, often angry mother and a selfish, grunting, self-centered son. For me, I feel like I am on a constant emotional roller coaster that I wish would stop. My son’s adolescent journey is at a time when I am least able to cope, yet a time the most is required of me.

I want to love my son, and he wants to love me, but all we do is clash with each other nearly every day with the most mundane of things. The one glimmer of hope is that throughout this journey we are able to discuss how we are feeling, once the dust has settled! B. was able to sit down with me this evening to help me with ideas for this article.

This is my discussion with my son B. (name withheld at his request!) We came up with 5 aspects that we do not like about ourselves that we seem to have no control over due to our hormones. We both agreed that there are aspects about ourselves that we do not like, yet have trouble controlling.

1. Lashing out/anger outbursts that seem to be beyond our control

Son: This is bullsh*t. Why do I have to do the dishes, they are only going to get dirty again.

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Translation: I am trying to get you angry so you say I do not have to do it. It works half the time.

Mother: I have cooked the dinner, why should I have to clean the dishes. I admit it, this may not be spoken in soft, loving words, but as an anger outburst, which only adds fuel to the flames.

Translation: I am tired of being treated like a maid. You are now an adult and therefore, should be helping out more in the home.

2. Pimples vs wrinkles

When our children are moving through adolescence, Mount Vesuvius seems to erupt on the face, upper chest and back. At least, B. acne will one day clear one day.

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My lack of estrogen has wrinkles developing on my once flawless complexion. It only seems like yesterday that I was agonising over my acne woes. Now I look back on photos and wonder why did I not enjoy my wrinkle free skin more, acne and all!

3. Weight gain vs high metabolism

This is one aspect that is just not fair. I pay close attention to my diet as the slightest deviation has me putting on weight in the middle despite running every day, walking the dog, doing the household chores and finally falling into bed in a heap after a long day.

B. sits at his computer playing games, gives me backchat when I force him out of the house to come for a walk and enjoy the sunshine, eats junk food galore (no matter how many times I have banned it from the house he finds a way to get it in) and eats whatever he chooses. Despite all this, he has the body of a Lothario, lean and like a “tank”. His testosterone is so high that there is not one ounce of fat on him.

For me, in menopause, testosterone is an all-time low, and this means more fat and less muscle, which in turn means more work for me to keep my body in tip-top shape.

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4.Obsessed with sex vs my non-existant libido

I did refer to B. as a Lothario! He has numerous equally hormonally-controlled females all vying for his attention. He is the king of the castle and loving all the adoration.

I, on the other hand, refers to date night as a night when I do not have to cook or do the dishes and get to relax and read a book that I can immerse myself into for the evening. Sex is the furthest from my mind, much to the chagrin of poor hubby!

5. Need to be needed

This was the last comment that my son relayed to me and surprised me.

At the end of it all, I need to be needed. I still need your love, even if I come across as aloof.

This quote was from my son, no me. Not the hormonal menopausal women.

At the end of the day, we have the same basic needs and that is love and attention, with a little bit of forgiveness!

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Published on April 9, 2021

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

50 Single Mom Quotes On Staying Strong And Loving

Being a mom is not easy. Being a single mom is even more challenging. Having children means you are on the job 24/7. Even while you are sleeping, you are still ready to wake at the slightest peep because that is what moms do.

Moms, especially single moms, need more people cheering them on. Your love and care matter to your kids. You are their superhero. I think single moms are superheroes, too.

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The quotes below are words of encouragement for all of the single moms out there. Keep up the great work! Your hard work will pay off. Someday, they will be grown up and living on their own. Your job will never truly be done as a mom, but you can pat yourself on the back today and every day for doing mom duty day in and day out.

Here are 50 single mom quotes to encourage all the single moms out there.

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  1. “Being raised by a single mother, I learned to appreciate and value independent women.”—Kenny Conley
  2. “As a single mum you’ll discover inner strengths and capabilities you never knew you had.”—Emma-Louise Smith
  3. “One thing I know for sure – this motherhood thing is not for sissies.”—Jennifer Nettles
  4. “Mothers and their children are in a category all their own. There’s no bond so strong in the entire world. No love so instantaneous and forgiving.”—Gail Tsukiyama
  5. “And one day she discovered that she was fierce and strong, and full of fire and that not even she could hold herself back because her passion burned brighter than her fears.”—Mark Anthony
  6. “She never quite leaves her children at home, even when she doesn’t take them along.”—Margaret Culkin Banning
  7. “The most common way people give up their power is by thinking they don’t have any.”—Alice Walker
  8. “Everyone has inside of her a piece of good news. The good news is that you don’t know how great you can be, how much you can love, what you can accomplish, and what your potential is.”—Anne Frank
  9. “Doubt is a killer. You just have to know who you are and what you stand for.”—Jennifer Lopez
  10. “You are more powerful than you know; you are beautiful just as you are.”—Melissa Etheridge
  11. “Motherhood is the greatest thing and the hardest thing.”—Ricki Lake
  12. “You don’t take a class; you’re thrown into motherhood and learn from experience.”—Jennie Finch
  13. “If you look at what you have in life, you’ll always have more. If you look at what you don’t have in life, you’ll never have enough.”—Oprah Winfrey
  14. “I am no bird; and no net ensnares me: I am a free human being with an independent will.”—Charlotte Brontë
  15. “Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.”—Nora Ephron
  16. “When a woman becomes her own best friend life is easier.”—Diane Von Furstenberg
  17. “If you want something said, ask a man; if you want something done, ask a woman.”—Margaret Thatcher
  18. “Women have discovered that they cannot rely on men’s chivalry to give them justice.”—Helen Keller
  19. “Successful mothers are not the ones that have never struggled. They are the ones that never give up, despite the struggles.”—Sharon Jaynes
  20. “Success, they taught me, is built on the foundation of courage, hard work, and individual responsibility. Despite what some would have us believe, success is not built on resentment and fears.”—Susana Martinez
  21. “You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.”—Maya Angelou
  22. “The question isn’t who’s going to let me; it’s who is going to stop me.”—Ayn Rand
  23. “God could not be everywhere, and therefore he made mothers.”—Rudyard Kipling
  24. “The women whom I love and admire for their strength and grace did not get that way because stuff worked out. They got that way because stuff went wrong, and they handled it. They handled it in a thousand different ways on a thousand different days, but they handled it. Those women are my superheroes.”—Elizabeth Gilbert
  25. “There will be so many times you feel like you failed. But in the eyes, ears, and mind of your child, you are a SUPER MOM.”—Stephanie Precourt
  26. “Motherhood is the ultimate call to sacrifice.”—Wangechi Mutu
  27. “We may encounter many defeats but we must not be defeated.”—Maya Angelou
  28. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  29. “There’s no way to be a perfect mother and a million ways to be a good one.”—Jill Churchill
  30. “There’s no doubt that motherhood is the best thing in my life. It’s all that really matters.”—Courtney Cox
  31. “I realized when you look at your mother, you are looking at the purest love you will ever know.”—Mitch Albom
  32. “I have found being a mother has made me emotionally raw in many situations. Your heart is beating outside your body when you have a baby.”—Kate Beckinsale
  33. “Single moms, you are a doctor, a teacher, a nurse, a maid, a cook, a referee, a heroine, a provider, a defender, a protector, a true Superwoman. Wear your cape proudly.”—Mandy Hale
  34. “I’m not really single. I mean, I am, but I have a son. Being a single mother is different from being a single woman.”—Kate Hudson
  35. “Being a single parent is twice the work, twice the stress, and twice the tears but also twice the hugs, twice the love, and twice the pride.”—Unknown
  36. “For me, motherhood is learning about the strengths I didn’t know I had, and dealing with the fears I didn’t know existed.”—Halle Berry
  37. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things… a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Denice Williams
  38. “You do the best you can. Some days you feel really good about yourself and some days you don’t.”—Katie Holmes
  39. “I would say to any single parent currently feeling the weight of stereotype or stigmatization that I am prouder of my years as a single mother than of any other part of my life.”JK Rowling
  40. “Just because I am a single mother doesn’t mean I cannot be a success.”—Yvonne Kaloki
  41. “I didn’t plan on being a single mom, but you have to deal with the cards you are dealt the best way you can.”—Tichina Arnold
  42. “Nothing you do for children is ever wasted.”—Garrison Keillor
  43. “A single mom tries when things are hard. She never gives up. She believes in her family, even when things are tough. She knows that above all things, a mother’s love is more than enough.”—Deniece Williams
  44. “Motherhood has a very humanizing effect. Everything gets reduced to essentials.”—Meryl Streep
  45. “Having kids—the responsibility of rearing good, kind, ethical, responsible human beings—is the biggest job anyone can embark on.”—Maria Shriver
  46. “Mother is a verb. It’s something you do. Not just who you are.”—Cheryl Lacey Donovan
  47. “A mother’s love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dates all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path.”—Agatha Christie
  48. “A mother’s arms are more comforting than anyone else’s.”—Princess Diana
  49. “The hand that rocks the cradle is the hand that rules the world.”—W.R. Wallace
  50. “Being a mother is the greatest blessing and the hardest challenge in all of life.”—Dr. Magdalena Battles

Final Thoughts

Single moms are remarkable women. They are to be respected and honored for all that they do. If you know a single mom, then share this article with them. Tell them “you are doing a great job as a single mom.” They need our encouragement and support.

They may be parenting alone, but it is good to let them know that there are people in their life who care for them. We can all be there for the single moms out there. Even if it is just to say, “keep up the great work, you are an amazing woman!”

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If you are a single mom, keep up the good work! You are amazing, and your kids are lucky to have you!

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Featured photo credit: Alexander Dummer via unsplash.com

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