Advertising
Advertising

Why You’ll Always Be Closest To Friends You Met When You Were Young

Why You’ll Always Be Closest To Friends You Met When You Were Young

My first best friend and I met during recess, as is often the case. I don’t recall the exact circumstances or how we introduced ourselves. It probably involved booger flicking or farting, the likes of which neither of us had yet observed in any other second graders on the playground before. Whatever seven-year-old chords were struck, we were destined to be best friends for quite some time.

I recall around fifth grade we had both decided on what we were going to do with our futures. The dye was cast and there was no turning back. He had decided he would become an astronaut so he could live on the moon and I was going to be a professional soccer player (Manchester United, I believe, was the team I would play for had they asked nicely). It is this unguarded innocence of being a child and dreaming with no checks or balances that proves why you’ll always be closest to friends you met when you were young.

Advertising

My first best friend and I drifted apart during high school. One day, I realized that I hadn’t spoken to him in over a year except for passing in halls. It seemed like a mutually unintentional separation at the time. I still don’t fully understand it. However, I can tell you this, we haven’t spoken since and I still think about him quite often at thirty-seven years old. In stark contrast, I think very little of the thousands of people I have met since.

He went on to become a doctor from what I hear. I went on to not play for Manchester United or even the Houston Dynamos.

Advertising

We seem to make a lot of plans as children, which are hinged upon our imaginations, like fantasy-filled interactions with doll houses, castles, tea party sets, race cars, Barbies, and baseball cards. However, once we finally become adults, we realize there were a lot of unforeseeable events along the way.

Where there was once raw imagination and limitlessness there are now realities and barriers. Here’s the thing, though. If these realities and barriers weren’t in place then we would all eventually be getting job promotions, layoffs, transfers, colonoscopies, clean bills of health, or cancer diagnoses with an adolescent mindset. I think this transformation, or process of hardening, we all go through is perfectly natural, but I also find it tragic that imagination and innocence must be sacrificed for the ability to be fully functioning adults.

Advertising

Establishing new friendships as an adult is a vastly different arena to play in. We are thick-skinned, we all have our own problems, we have very little time, and the friendships we already have from our pasts are challenging enough to maintain… but they are treasured and worth it.

“I never had any friends later on like the one’s I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?”

This quote is the final line of Rob Reiner’s 1986 film Stand By Me. It could not be more spot on. A funny thing about getting older is occasionally running into someone from your past and them seeing right through the rigid, stoic, and possibly cynical armor you now protect yourself with. This armor is for the adults you have met after high school and will continue to meet. Unfortunately, this armor gets thicker each year.

Advertising

Yet, you run into this friend from the past and the armor vanishes in a single moment. You pick up exactly where you left off twenty or thirty years ago and for a priceless moment you get to be innocent and dream like a child again.

Featured photo credit: capes via littleherocapes.com

More by this author

Pregnancy Checklist: What To Do When Pregnant How To Make Lavender Lemonade To Get Rid Of Headaches And Anxiety 42 Flowers You Can Eat And How You Can Eat Them How To Burp A Newborn 10 Bizarre Ways of Celebrating the New Year Around the World

Trending in Communication

1 How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life 2 How to Live Your Best Life Starting Today 3 How to Not Take Things Personally for a Happier Life 4 How to Say No When You Say Yes Too Often 5 How to Fight Your Irrational Fears And Stay Strong

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on July 10, 2020

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

How to Reinvent Yourself and Change Your Life

There will always be times in your life when you may need to learn how to reinvent yourself. This could come when you experience a big change, such as leaving your job, moving on from a relationship, transferring to a new home, or losing a loved one. If you are going through a major shift in your life, you may have to find new ways of thinking or doing things, or risk failing to reach your full potential.

“When something bad happens, you have three choices. You can let it define you, let it destroy you, or you can let it strengthen you.”

Many people who dared to leave their old unhappy lives enabled themselves to pursue their passions and find a renewed zest for living. You can also achieve the same if you take a leap of faith and make things happen for yourself.

To help you always be at your best wherever you may be in your life, here are some practical tips on how to reinvent yourself.

The Reinvention Checklist

Before embarking on a journey of self-reinvention, you need to make sure that you have everything that you need to make the trip bump-proof. These things include:

Resilience

Problems and obstacles are guaranteed to happen. Some of them will be difficult and may knock you off course; the important thing, however, is that you learn from these difficulties, never lose focus, and always get back up. This requires building resilience to get through the tough times.

Advertising

Support

Humans are social beings. Although it is important that you learn to rely on yourself when facing any challenge, it is also important to have a support team that you can lean on to give you a boost when things get too tough and to correct you when you’re making mistakes.

The key is to find the right balance between independence and dependence. Don’t be afraid to be vulnerable and share the difficulties you’re facing. When you open up, you’ll find the people who are really going to be there for you.

Self-Care

During the process of learning how to reinvent yourself, you will have to pull yourself away from your old comfort zones, habits, roles, and self-perceptions. This can be difficult and cause you to question your self-worth, so it’s important to engage in self-care to maintain a positive outlook and keep your mind and body healthy as you face the challenges that await you. Self-care can include:

  • Participating in a hobby you enjoy
  • Spending time with your support system
  • Taking some time to walk in nature
  • Practicing loving-kindness meditation

Find what works for you and what helps you feel like your true self as you seek a reinvented version of you.

How to Reinvent Yourself

Once you’re sure that you’re equipped with all the tools in the self-reinvention checklist, you can begin your journey of learning how to reinvent yourself.

1. Discover Your Strengths

This step provides valuable information on how you deal with certain situations. If you have this information, you will be able to manage difficulties more efficiently.

Advertising

To find out what your strengths are, you can ask your friends and colleagues for feedback, engage in self-reflection, or try these 10 Ways to Find Your Own Personal Strengths.

2. Plan

This step calls for a thorough assessment of your current emotional, psychological, and financial status so that you can develop plans that are realistic and practical.

It’s okay to have ambitious dreams, but your plans have to be realistic. Making use of SMART goals can help you plan your life better.

You can also consult your mentor or life coach for practical tips and advice.

Ultimately, you’ll want to create specific long-term and short-term goals that you can create milestones for. By doing this, you’ll lay out a specific roadmap to your reinvented self.

3. Try Things Out

Sometimes, we don’t know if solutions actually work until we try them out. This is why it is important to experiment whenever possible, especially if you’re dealing with a career change. You may need to simply experiment in order to find the things you like. This can be the same with hobbies. If you’re not sure what you would like doing, accept invitations from friends to join them in their favorite sport or take a class, like pottery or photography.

Advertising

By seeing what’s out there in any area of your life, you’ll have a better chance of finding the things you enjoy and the goals you want to create.

4. Manage Your Finances Well

Changes may require a bit of money. If you’re shifting to a new career, you may have to pay for training. If you’re going through a tough divorce or having a hard time dealing with the death of a loved one, you may have to pay for therapy. If you’re moving to a new home, you’ll definitely have to pay a whole lot of expenses.

All of these things are possible, but it will require a bit of money savviness as you learn how to reinvent yourself. If you have that cushion, you’ll feel more comfortable straying from your current path to try new things.

5. Muster Your Courage

Fears and self-doubt may arise when you encounter difficulties and setbacks. Sometimes, they may also come when you’re taking risks. You have to manage these negative emotions well and not allow them to discourage you. Tap into your courage and try doing at least one new thing each week to develop it.

Learn how to deal with your self-doubts to move forward in this article: How Self Doubt Keeps You Stuck (And How to Overcome It)

6. Use Your Support Group

As stated above, you need to build a strong support group before you even start the process of reinventing yourself. Your group will keep you from taking wrong turns and encourage you when you get too weighed down by problems. Don’t be afraid to call them, or even ask them out for coffee if you need to vent about the current difficulties you’re facing.

Advertising

7. Remind Yourself Every Day of Your Commitment

Write your goals on different-sized cards and scatter them at home and at work in places where you can easily see them. This way, you will constantly be reminded of where you want to be. Remember, writing down your goals helps them stick[1].

8. Accept Failure, Learn, and Resume Your Journey

Failing is normal, especially when we’re trying out something new. When you fail, simply recognize it, learn from it, and move on. Failure, in the end, is the best way to learn what does and doesn’t work, and you simply won’t be able to learn how to reinvent yourself if you don’t accept the inevitable failures that await you.

Final Thoughts

If you truly want to learn how to reinvent yourself and live the life you desire, take the advice above and start taking action. It will take time, patience, and plenty of effort to make the change you want happen, but it will be all worth it.

More Tips on How to Reinvent Yourself

Featured photo credit: Ashley Rich via unsplash.com

Reference

Read Next