Advertising
Advertising

8 Ways You Hurt Yourself and Inadvertently Your Happiness

8 Ways You Hurt Yourself and Inadvertently Your Happiness

How do you view life?

Are you an optimist or a pessimist?

Do you tend to see the bad in everyone and everything?

Do you struggle with seeing things any other way?

Well, let’s change things up a little. It takes nothing more for you to see the good things in life than it is to see the bad.

Do not get down on yourself because unfortunately too many of us feel that way sometimes. Far too many of us have gotten into that rut and find it hard to get out of it.

The good news is, we can all change for the better. It doesn’t take much for us to change our life; we only need to redirect our thoughts from being negative to being positive.

Advertising

There is always something you can change to become happier. Sometimes going down the wrong path is the only way you can then get back on track and grow.

Life is not easy all the time, and neither is the path always smooth. We stumble and fall and even hurt ourselves. The bumps and bruises are what propel us to growth and heights we couldn’t attain unless we had struggles in our lives.

The experiences we gain from our challenges would not be learned any other way so in some sense even when you struggle there is something good to learn.

We all have habits that have caused us unnecessary frustration and stand in the way of our happiness. Some of those habits are good, others not so good, but they hinder our very survival at times.

These habits that aren’t good we allow to control our lives, and they make us miserable but not miserable enough to want to change them.

Today is the day to change some of those bad habits and refuse to allow yourself to be limited and or discouraged from becoming the best version of who you can become.

Quit fighting life

Life is unpredictable with its ups and downs, but life already has a plan laid out for you. Do not complicate things by forcing and fighting. Let life unfold for you as it should.

Advertising

To move ahead in life, you must be prepared to accept things as they are. When you can accept things in their current state, it provides you with an opportunity to start your journey to recovery and happiness. You are also allotted an opportunity to move in any direction you want to go.

Do not go back to the past and resurrect things that will only complicate and distract from your current life. To return to the past or to wish things were different is only wasting your precious time and will get you nowhere.

Accept things the way they are, this will help you to move forward and create a new life and a better future. This doesn’t mean you are giving up on your dreams but accepting things the way they are will enable you to move forward. You have to see things as they truly are in reality and then once you can accept your current situation as it is, only then can you move on freely.

Forgiveness is huge if you want to stop hurting yourself and your happiness. Forgiveness will open the door for you to move forward into your future and the life that is destined to be yours. Forgiveness is the acceptance of the present without any attachment to any thing, place or circumstances.

The best place to start the healing process and to forget all the hurt and pain on all sides is through forgiveness. This is when the heart becomes open as it has emptied all the pent up resentment, hatred and other things that take up space. Your heart is now clean and ready to accept love and the fulfillment of happiness.

Simplify and de-clutter

You need to simplify and de-clutter your life to make any headway. This doesn’t mean you need to reduce yourself to a state of poverty, but it means you need to get rid of the things in your life that aren’t helping you to get where you want to go. This means ridding yourself of all the negative influences. Clean your mind of all the baggage of past relationships, lack of forgiveness and regrets.

Start removing the toxic things from your life so you can have space in your life for the things that truly matter. Surround yourself with things that are essential to your development and progress.

Advertising

You have no clear direction

Before you can start your journey, you have to know which direction to take. You cannot be just running around in circles without clear directions.

Establish goals and work towards them. Do not just get a job with no clear ending in sight. What is it you want to do in ten years and where do you see yourself then? Once you set your goals, then you can start putting things in place to achieve them. Set very smart goals for your life. They must be specific, measurable, achievable and timely. Do not go through life blindly. You will be sabotaging your life and your happiness.

Take a break from your everyday life

There comes a time when you will have to break away from everything and everyone. It doesn’t mean you stop loving them, but you need to be able to recharge. You need to take care of yourself so you can take care of others.

You need some down time to refocus. Getting the necessary rest is part of growing and becoming stronger. Create habits that will be beneficial to you in the long run and will encourage healthy, safe habits.

Do not resort to stimulants and drugs to fix your life

People, unfortunately, tend to use all kinds of things including drugs to numb their pain. Sadly, these things do not help but rather hinder your growth and healing. They mask the pain and cloud the brain, and so you are left feeling worse about yourself and your problems.

See yourself as a strong enough person who can face life’s ups and downs without the need for any stimulant. You don’t want to go through your life numb.

Do not hurt yourself with things that you already know does nothing but cause more pain and destruction to your life.

Advertising

Commit to healthy eating habits.

One of the easiest ways to stop hurting yourself is to treat your body right. Your body is your temple and should be treated with respect and dignity. One way of showing that you love yourself is how you treat your body. Choose foods that will help and heal the body and make you happy and healthy.

Refuse to over indulge and put things in the body that you know are not helping you because that will rob you of your health and happiness like nothing else.

Do not neglect your body

The body is the greatest tool ever created. There is nothing that will heal your mind and spirit more than exercising. Exercising is one of the best medicines you can take to rid yourself of mental and physical problems; besides taking care of your mind it also makes you look and feel stronger. You need your strength to face life and its challenges. Taking care of your body will have an enormous effect on your quality of life.

Be prepared to do the work

There’s no secret to success: it is all about hard work. When you are prepared to offer your best you cannot help but see good results and be happy when you do. You must be confidence in your belief and know that you are doing and giving of your best.

The world needs more people with great ideas who are prepared to work to see their dreams come to fruition.

Give everything you’ve got towards your dream and be prepared to persist in spite of all adversity and setbacks. Take the action needed to get the results you want and do not stop until you do.

Featured photo credit: Sjoerd Lammers via flickr.com

More by this author

8 Ways You Hurt Yourself and Inadvertently Your Happiness 12 Little Habits That Steal Your Happiness Away (When You Aren’t Aware) 12 Amazing Ways We Seem To Stumble Onto Happiness Want To Be Successful? Follow These 13 Things Truly Confident People Do What Price Are you Willing To Pay To Live Your Dream?

Trending in Communication

1 15 Inspiring Ideas to Boost Your Motivation for Success 2 How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success 3 How to Turn Your Fear of Missing Out into a Joy of Missing Out 4 What Is Resilience and Why Is It Important? 5 Positive Motivation vs Negative Motivation: Which One Is Better?

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on April 11, 2019

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

Possessing strong communication skills will help you in every phase of your life. This is especially true in the workplace.

I have personally worked with several leaders who were masters of communication. A few were wonderful speakers who could tell a great story and get everyone in the room engaged. Those of us in attendance would walk away feeling inspired and eager to help with what came next. Others were very skilled at sharing a clear direction and job expectations.

I knew exactly what was expected of me and how to achieve my goals. This was the foundation of an energized and vibrant role I was in. What I have found is strong communication skills are incredibly helpful and sometimes critical in how well we perform at work.

Here we will take a look at how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

How Communication Skills Help Your Success

Strong communication skills pave the way for success in many ways. Let’s look at a few of the big ones.

Create a Positive Experience

Here are two examples of how well developed communication skills helps create a positive experience:

When I first moved to the city I now live in, I began a job search. Prior to my first live interview, I was told an address to go to. Upon arriving at the address provided, I drove around and around attempting to find the location. After 15 minutes of circling and looking for the address, I finally grabbed a parking spot and set out on foot.

What I discovered was the address was actually down an alley and only had the number over the door. No sign for the actual company. The person that gave me those very unclear directions provided a bad experience for me.

Had they communicated the directions to get there in a clear manner, my experience would have been much better. Instead the entire experience started off poorly and colored the entire meeting.

As a recruiter, I frequently provide potential candidates with information about a job I’m speaking to them about. In order to do this, I also provide a picture of the overall company, the group they might be joining, and how their role fits in and impacts the entire company.

Time and time again I have been told by candidates that I have provided the clearest picture of a company and role they have ever heard. They have a positive experience when I clearly communicate to them. Even when the position does not work out for them, often times they will want to stay in touch with me due to the open communication and beneficial experience they had during the interviewing process.

Advertising

Strong communication skills will provide a positive experience in virtually any interaction you have with someone.

Help Leadership Skills

It’s certainly a skill all its own to be able to lead others.

Being a mentor and guiding others towards success is a major hallmark of great leaders. Another characteristic of effective leaders is the ability to communicate clearly.

As I referenced above, having a leader who can plainly articulate the company’s mission and direction goes a really long way towards being the Captain of the boat that others want to follow. It’s like saying “here’s our destination and this is how we are going to get there” in a way that everyone can get on board with.

Another critical component of everyone helping to sail the boat in the right direction is knowing what your portion is all about. How are you helping the boat move towards its destination in the manner than is consistent with the leaders’ vision?

If you have a boss or a manager that can show you what it takes for not only you to be successful, but also how your performance helps the company’s success then you’ve got a winner. A boss with superior communication skills.

Build Better Teams

Most of us work in teams of some sort or another. During the course of my career, I have led teams up to 80 and also been an individual contributor.

In my individual contributor roles, I have been part of a larger team. Even if you are in business for yourself, you have to interact with others in one manner or another.

If you have strong communication skills, it helps to build better teams. This is true whether you are in an IT department with 100 other fellow programmers or if you own your own business and have customers or vendors you communicate with.

When you showcase your robust ability to communicate well with others while interacting with them, you are building a better team.

Now let’s jump in to how to improve communication skills to help you pave the way for your workplace success.

Advertising

How to Improve Communication Skills for Workplace Success

There are many tips, tricks, and techniques to improve communication skills. I don’t want to overwhelm you with too much information, so let’s focus on the things that will provide the biggest return on your time investment.

Most of these tips will be fairly easy to become aware of but will take time and effort to implement. So let’s go!

1. Listen

Ever heard the saying you have two ears and one mouth for a reason? If you haven’t, then here’s the reason:

Being a good listener is half the equation to being a good communicator.

People who have the ability to really listen to someone can then actually answer questions in a meaningful way. If you don’t make the effort to actively listen, then you are really doing yourself and the other person a disservice in the communication department.

Know that person who is chomping at the bit to open his or her mouth the second you stop talking? Don’t be that person. They haven’t listened to at least 1/2 of what you’ve said. Therefore the words that spill out of their mouth are going to be about 1/2 relevant to what you just said.

Listen to someone completely and be comfortable with short periods of silence. Work on your listening skills first and foremost.

2. Know Your Audience

Knowing your audience is another critical component to having strong communication skills. The way you interact with your manager should be different than how you interact with your kids. This isn’t to say you need to be a different person with everyone you interact with. Far from it.

Here is a good way to think about it:

Imagine using your the same choice of words and body language you use with your spouse while interacting with your boss. That puts things in a graphic light!

You want to ensure you are using the type of communication most relevant to your audience.

Advertising

3. Minimize

I have lunch with a business associate about 3 times a year. We’ve been talking for several years now about putting a business deal together.

He is one of those people that simply overwhelms others with a lot of words. Sometimes when I ask him a question, I get buried beneath such an avalanche of words that I’m more confused than when I asked the question. Needless to say this is most likely a large portion of why we never put the deal together.

Don’t be like my lunch business associate. The goal of talking to or communicating with someone is to share actual information. The goal is not to confuse someone, it’s to provide clarity in many cases.

State what needs to be stated as succinctly as possible. That doesn’t mean you can’t have some pleasant conversation about the weather too.

The point is to not create such an onslaught of words and information that the other person walks away more confused than when they started.

4. Over Communicate

So this probably sounds completely counter intuitive to what I just wrote about minimizing your communication. It seems like it might be but it’s not.

What I mean by over communicating is ensuring that the other person understands the important parts of what you are sharing with them. This can be done simply yet effectively. Here’s a good example:

Most companies have open enrollment for benefits for the employees in the fall. The company I work for has open enrollment from November 1 to 15. The benefits department will send out a communication to all employees around October 1st, letting them know open enrollment is right around the corner and any major changes that year. There’s also a phone number and email for people to contact them with any questions.

Two weeks later, we all get a follow up email with basically the same information. We get a 3rd communication the week before open enrollment and another one 1 day before it starts.

Finally we get 2 emails during enrollment reminding us when open enrollment ends.

There’s minimal information, it’s more of a reminder. This is effective over communication.

Advertising

5. Body Language

The final critical component to how to improve communication skills for workplace success is body language. This is something most of us have heard about before but, a reminder is probably a good idea.

When I am in a meeting with someone I am comfortable with, I tend to kind of slouch down in my chair and cross my arms. When I catch myself doing this, I sit up straight and uncross my arms. I remember that crossing arms can many times be interpreted as a sign of disagreement or conflict.

In general, the best rule of thumb is to work towards having open body language whenever possible at work. This means relaxing your posture, not crossing your arms, and looking people in the eye when speaking with them.

When you are speaking in front of others, stand up straight and speak in a clear voice. This will convey confidence in your words.

Conclusion

Possessing strong communication skills will help you in many facets of your life and most certainly in the workplace.

Good communication helps create better teams, positive experiences with those we interact with, and are critical for leadership.

There are numerous tactics and techniques to be used to improve communication skills. Here we’ve reviewed how to improve communication skills for workplace success.

Now go communicate your way to success.

More Resources About Effective Communication

Featured photo credit: HIVAN ARVIZU via unsplash.com

Read Next