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Why It’s Wonderful To Make Friends With People Who Enjoy Being Alone

Why It’s Wonderful To Make Friends With People Who Enjoy Being Alone

You don’t need to feel bad because you enjoy being alone. Time to yourself isn’t antisocial, it’s good for you. Some people (namely introverts) need time away from others to recharge their batteries, feeling drained from being around people for so much of the day. That has the great potential to make them much better friends.

If you enjoy being alone or are friends with somebody who who likes some solitude, you need to know these ways so-called “hermits” can make for much better company.

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1. They are often more available.

While they don’t like to have too busy a schedule, people who enjoy being alone are willing to go out once in a while. Because they don’t have as many plans as most, they’re often going to be more available. If you call a solitary person with something fun to do, they’re less likely going to already be busy and will have little reason not to join you. That’s great if you find out about a cool concert coming up soon, or really want to see a movie that just came out in theaters. With most of the world so endlessly busy, it’s nice to know you have someone you can count on.

2. They will genuinely want to spend time with you.

People who enjoy being alone don’t hang out with people because they feel like they have to stay busy. Those are fake friends. If people who enjoy being alone are with you, it’s because they truly enjoy your company. Whereas other more social friends might be treating your time together as a way to kill a few hours, loners are taking full advantage of it.

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3. They won’t be needy.

Everyone has that friend that constantly wants your attention or affection. People who enjoy being alone are not at all those kinds of friends. Precisely because they enjoy their share of solitude, they won’t bother you to hang out constantly, totally happy with the extra time to unwind if you want some time apart or some alone time for yourself. It’s very nice to be close to someone who is that low-maintenance.

4. They value privacy.

People who enjoy being alone tend to be very private people. They don’t feel the need to share their stories with the whole world, rather enjoying having their share of secrets or things left unsaid. For that reason, chances are people who enjoy being alone will value your privacy, as well. They won’t push you to share everything you’re thinking or feeling with them. They are also able to totally relate to the need to keep some stuff to yourself. In a world that’s obsessed with status updates, where software and other individuals are constantly asking us what we’re thinking, it’s incredibly nice to have someone who knows when to keep quiet.

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5. They don’t waste time.

Those who enjoy being alone tend to be a little anxious to go back to being alone. That is why they won’t stall or linger, making the most out of their time with you so that they save as many hours for themselves as possible. If you can’t stand staying at a restaurant hours after you and your friends have finished your meals, you’ll really treasure someone willing to hurry things up.

6. They really value a true friend.

People who enjoy being alone are likely to have less friends, but have deeper relationships with each of them. Instead of being social butterflies with hundreds of acquaintances, they have a few people they truly trust and care for. If you’re lucky enough to be one of them, you’re likely to be rewarded with a solid, stable, and rewarding friendship. When it comes to people in your life, is there anything more important?

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Featured photo credit: Girl Reading Magazine In Hotel Bed/Glenn3095 via flickr.com

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Matt OKeefe

Matt is a marketer and writer who shares about lifestyle and productivity tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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