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Why It’s Wonderful To Make Friends With People Who Enjoy Being Alone

Why It’s Wonderful To Make Friends With People Who Enjoy Being Alone

You don’t need to feel bad because you enjoy being alone. Time to yourself isn’t antisocial, it’s good for you. Some people (namely introverts) need time away from others to recharge their batteries, feeling drained from being around people for so much of the day. That has the great potential to make them much better friends.

If you enjoy being alone or are friends with somebody who who likes some solitude, you need to know these ways so-called “hermits” can make for much better company.

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1. They are often more available.

While they don’t like to have too busy a schedule, people who enjoy being alone are willing to go out once in a while. Because they don’t have as many plans as most, they’re often going to be more available. If you call a solitary person with something fun to do, they’re less likely going to already be busy and will have little reason not to join you. That’s great if you find out about a cool concert coming up soon, or really want to see a movie that just came out in theaters. With most of the world so endlessly busy, it’s nice to know you have someone you can count on.

2. They will genuinely want to spend time with you.

People who enjoy being alone don’t hang out with people because they feel like they have to stay busy. Those are fake friends. If people who enjoy being alone are with you, it’s because they truly enjoy your company. Whereas other more social friends might be treating your time together as a way to kill a few hours, loners are taking full advantage of it.

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3. They won’t be needy.

Everyone has that friend that constantly wants your attention or affection. People who enjoy being alone are not at all those kinds of friends. Precisely because they enjoy their share of solitude, they won’t bother you to hang out constantly, totally happy with the extra time to unwind if you want some time apart or some alone time for yourself. It’s very nice to be close to someone who is that low-maintenance.

4. They value privacy.

People who enjoy being alone tend to be very private people. They don’t feel the need to share their stories with the whole world, rather enjoying having their share of secrets or things left unsaid. For that reason, chances are people who enjoy being alone will value your privacy, as well. They won’t push you to share everything you’re thinking or feeling with them. They are also able to totally relate to the need to keep some stuff to yourself. In a world that’s obsessed with status updates, where software and other individuals are constantly asking us what we’re thinking, it’s incredibly nice to have someone who knows when to keep quiet.

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5. They don’t waste time.

Those who enjoy being alone tend to be a little anxious to go back to being alone. That is why they won’t stall or linger, making the most out of their time with you so that they save as many hours for themselves as possible. If you can’t stand staying at a restaurant hours after you and your friends have finished your meals, you’ll really treasure someone willing to hurry things up.

6. They really value a true friend.

People who enjoy being alone are likely to have less friends, but have deeper relationships with each of them. Instead of being social butterflies with hundreds of acquaintances, they have a few people they truly trust and care for. If you’re lucky enough to be one of them, you’re likely to be rewarded with a solid, stable, and rewarding friendship. When it comes to people in your life, is there anything more important?

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Featured photo credit: Girl Reading Magazine In Hotel Bed/Glenn3095 via flickr.com

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Matt OKeefe

Matt is a marketer and writer who shares about lifestyle and productivity tips on Lifehack.

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Last Updated on June 24, 2019

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

Why Social Media Might Be Causing Depression

A study [1] published in Depression and Anxiety found that social media users are more likely to be depressed. This was just one of the huge number of studies linking social media and depression[2] . But why exactly do platforms like Facebook and Instagram make people so unhappy? Well, we don’t know yet for sure, but there are some explanations.

Social Media Could Lead to Depression

Depression is a serious medical condition that affects how you think, feel, and behave. Social media may lead to depression in predisposed individuals or make existing symptoms of depression[3] worse explains[4] the study above’s senior author Dr. Brian Primack. So, the problem may not be in social media per se, but how we use it.

Signs You’re Suffering From “Social Media Depression”

If you feel like social media is having a negative impact on your mood, then you may be suffering from “social media depression.” Look for symptoms like:

• low self-esteem,

• negative self-talk,

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• a low mood,

• irritability,

• a lack of interest in activities once enjoyed,

• and social withdrawal.

If you’ve had these symptoms for more than two weeks and if this is how you feel most of the time, then you are likely depressed. Although “social media depression “is not a term recognized in the medical setting, social media depression seems to be a real phenomenon affecting around 50% of social media users. As explained in a review study[5] published in Cyberpsychology, Behavior, and Social Networking, if a person has a certain predisposition to depression and other mental disorders, social media use may only worsen their mental health.

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Social Media Could Crush Self-Esteem

We know that social media and depression are in some way linked, but why is this so? Well, according to Igor Pantic, MD, Ph.D.[6], social media use skews your perception about other people’s lives and traits. To explain this further, most people like to portray an idealized image of their lives, personal traits, and appearance on sites like Facebook and Instagram. If you confuse this idealized image with reality, you may be under the false impression that everyone is better than you which can crush your self-esteem and lead to depression. This is especially true for teens and young adults who are more likely to compare themselves to others. If you already suffer from low self-esteem, the illusion that everyone has it better off than you will just make you feel worse.

Causing Social Isolation and Other Negative Emotions

Another commonly cited reason for the negative impact of social media on mental health is its link with social isolation. Depressed people are more likely to isolate themselves socially and chose only to interact indirectly through social media platforms. But communication online tends to be superficial and is lacking when compared to real-life interaction explains Panic. What this means is not that social media leads to isolation but the other way around, possibly explaining why we find so many depressed persons on these sites.

Lastly, social media use may generate negative emotions in you like envy, jealousy, dislike, loneliness, and many others and this may worsen your depressive symptoms.

Why We Need to Take This Seriously

Both depression and social media use are on the rise according to epidemiological studies. Since each one has an impact on the other, we have to start thinking of healthier ways to use social media. Teens and young adults are especially vulnerable to the negative impact of social media on mental health.

Advice on Social Media Use

Although these findings did not provide any cause-effect explanation regarding Facebook and depression[7], they still do prove that social media use may not be a good way to handle depression. For this reason, the leading authors of these studies gave some suggestions as to how clinicians and people can make use of such findings.

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One suggestion is that clinicians should ask patients about their social media habits. Then they can advise them on how to change their outlook on social media use or even suggest limiting their time spent on social media.

Some social media users may also exhibit addictive behavior; they may spend too much time due to compulsive urges. Any compulsive behavior is bound to lead to feelings of guilt which can worsen depressive symptoms.

Having Unhealthy Relationship with Social Media

If you feel like your relationship with social media is unhealthy, then consider the advice on healthy social media use provided by psychology experts from Links Psychology[8]:

Avoid negative social comparison – always keep in mind that how people portray themselves and their lives on social media is not a realistic picture, but rather an idealized one. Also, avoid comparing yourself to others because this behavior can lead to negative self-talk.

Remember that social media is not a replacement for real life – Social media is great for staying in touch and having fun, but it should never replace real-world interactions.

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Avoid releasing personal information – For your safety and privacy, make sure to be careful with what you post online.

Report users who bully and harass you – It’s easy to be a bully in the anonymous and distant world of social media. Don’t take such offense personally and report those who abuse social media to harass others.

The bits of advice listed above can help you establish a healthy relationship with social media. Always keep these things in mind to avoid losing an objective perspective of what social media is and how it is different from real life. If you are currently suffering from depression, talk to your doctor about what is bothering you so that you can get the treatment you need to get better. Tell your doctor about your social media use and see if they could give you some advice on this topic.

Reference

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