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12 Ways How Distance Can Strengthen Your Friendship.

12 Ways How Distance Can Strengthen Your Friendship.

How do you define friendship? A true friend is never apart. He is there with you all the time, and physical distance doesn’t mean anything if there is more to gain in the friendship. In an age where technology can ease communication, there really are no boundaries or limitations to a true friendship.

I have friends who are far away from me, but I do not let these barriers mean anything. Actually I have discovered new meanings and depths in the relationship since we are miles apart. Here is why distance only makes you physically apart but mentally closer with your friend.

“A friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way you are.” ― Unknown

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1. You are committed to the friendship even when you don’t see them

Yes, you may have new friends, cover new territories but deep within you are committed to your friend who is more than a mile away. You think about them every now and then. When push comes to shove you still dial that one person’s number and tell them what is bothering you. They are your sidekick and you are their pillar because they always have your back just as you have theirs.

2. You are willing to make the effort even when they seem far away

You want to put the effort to let them aware that you are not so far away. You can talk, text, and update each other on what is happening in your lives.

3. You have so much to share even you have different experiences

Yes, you have different experiences but somewhere there is still that similarity that puts you in touch with sharing your experiences. When you get back in the same city as your friend, you talk effortlessly and never run out of things to say to each other — even if you are currently going through different experiences.

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4. You have great memories even when you do not see each other

Your true friends are like the stars, even when they are not physically close, they have a special place in your heart. You have great memories of the times you spent with them and this is eternal.

5. You will always make a way even when there seems to be noway

Yes, if you do care about someone you will always find a way to break boundaries and sail through borders, because this doesn’t mean anything.

6. You appreciate them better when you see them again

You find them more interesting and can relate with your true friends on a whole new level when you meet them again after a period of separation. Cherish the time you spend if your friends whenever you see them again.

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7. You always have something to talk about

You don’t need to talk everyday but whenever you can talk, there is something to talk about – the past, the present and the future.

8. You have a more purposeful friendship now

Your friendship is more purpose driven when you are physically apart. You know that you do not have much time together so you can discuss subjects that are important and purposeful.

9. You have someone who will always make you feel special when you are down

No one knows you like your true friend. They know what entertains you and what would placate you even in challenging times. It is nice to have someone to call whenever you need to hear just the right thing to get through the day.

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10. You have someone who believes in you even when others don’t

Your friend knows that your being far away is for the right reason. They do not apportion blames or make you feel guilty for being far away. Rather they will find ways to always reach out to you.

11. You know what to say when you see them again

You miss them, you value them, you appreciate them, and being physically apart gives you enough time to reflect on the essence of your friendship with that one true friend.

12. You know they will always be waiting for you

It is to be expected that new, other things will take over your thoughts and time. There will be things that will replace the activities that you once did together. But you are not worried, you are not anxious, you are courageous about what you have established together. And you know that when you see your friend again, every good thing that you have together will be waiting for you.

Featured photo credit: Friends/ Vicky Lazovich via flickr.com

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Casey Imafidon

Specialized in motivation and personal growth, providing advice to make readers fulfilled and spurred on to achieve all that they desire in life.

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Last Updated on February 25, 2020

5 Rules for Overcoming Adversity and Emotional Pain

5 Rules for Overcoming Adversity and Emotional Pain

“Some people choose to see the ugliness in this world, the disarray. I choose to see the beauty. To believe there is an order to our days. A purpose.” – from the popular show, “Westworld”

It’s different for us all. My personal quest for purpose began with five stages of grief and one startling realization that everything’s endlessly fragile. Adversity, as it happens by rule, found me terribly unprepared, so I decided to take my time. Today, I can honestly say that I’ve grown.

Ugliness and beauty, good and evil, pain and laughter – everything in the universe consists of two forces that are opposing but complementary. In the face of difficulty, that is the only mantra you need.

Here’s how I learned it and why you should too, with five simple rules.

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1. Embrace the Complexity

Quite insidiously, adversities come in all shapes and sizes. Paralyzing physical disabilities, mind-wracking mental problems, ruthless emotional havocs, all leading to the same painful acknowledgement: all the beauty in the world cannot possibly make up for the ugliness that surrounds us. Shattered to pieces, helpless and bare naked, we sit in our therapy chairs, apologizing for being so negative.

Eventually, what it all comes down to is the nature of negative emotion. Our positives overshadow our negatives, thus wrongly teaching us that the road to well-being is paved with nothing but positive feelings and thoughts. How utterly wrong!

“If you’re not failing every now and then, it’s a sign you’re not doing anything innovative”, Woody Allen said.

It’s a classic “learn from your mistakes” rule, but in this case, it implies growing from negative experiences. Make peace with your negativities and embrace beauty and ugliness alike! Accepting this marvellously complex world just as it is will allow you to find purpose in adversity and meaning in misery.

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2. Find Balance, Regain Control

Still, accepting adversity is only the first step toward eventual victory. One can endure only so much trauma in life; if we’re not prepared to deal with difficulties in a productive way, even the minor setbacks can get us off track. Our strengths come from learning, and the best way to learn is through a series of trials and errors. Just like phases of grief or stages of drug addiction, adversities suggest a disabling loss of control, so find your way to regain it.

Some call it the coping mechanism; for others, it’s a spiritual will. However you choose to name yours, know that not all supporting systems are equally beneficial, though each is effective in its own way. Escapism was mine, but it only helped me retain the illusion of beauty. It wasn’t until I opened up toward the ugliness and accepted the naked truth that I was finally free. Whether you choose to dwell in art, religion and spiritualism, thus feeding your resilience from within or to reach out to others for help, choose wisely.

Whatever the means, the second rule is a golden one: find your inner balance and stick to it. Eventually, it will lead you out of the vicious circle.

3. Fight with Patience

My bargaining turned in depression with a single touch. Fearless and free, my dance instructor timidly put her hands on my shoulders and I realized, for the first time, just how tense, stiff and cloistered I was. And just like that, I started letting go. Adversities have their sneaky ways, but in my experience, becoming aware is what hurts the worst. It took me a year to recover from this little moment of self-discovery, and I know remember it as the edge of the rabbit hole.

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Some sufferings are impossible to console; I know that now. The only way to get through is to, well, get through. Depression and despair are only the beginning of the excruciatingly unnerving process that ravages the mind and shrivels the soul, and once they strike, there is no easy way back. So, fight them with patience. When your head starts spinning and your feet lose ground, go to your happy place. Over there, you’ll be reminded that nothing is forever, not even our little existential psychosis.

Take a deep breath and say “om”. When things cannot be combated, they have to be endured, so practice patience and learn to let go. Finally, keep repeating to yourself that this too shall pass.

4. Keep Swimming

Nothing is impossible, in the end. Your negative thoughts will gently pour into your positive ones, just as two streams come together to become a river. In the event of the inevitable disaster, one can only be as calm as still water. Suffering teaches patience, and the latter gives rise to flexibility. Ultimately, what is life than a series of unfortunate events and a handful of bright moments in between? If adversities are impossible to avoid, than learn to glide through as smoothly and patiently as water does with rocks.

Even if spirituality isn’t exactly your cup of tea, you have to admit that this is one solid metaphor. Staying adaptable in the face of change will soothe your panic attacks and keep you sane and sober-blooded. Even if you fail, you’ll know exactly how to breathe and face what’s in front of you once it eventually strikes again. Stay calm and visualize a better tomorrow; if anything else, it will give you strength to dive deep and weather the storm. And, in case there’s somebody’s hand to reach out to, grab it firmly and don’t let go.

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Being flexible against adversities takes a lot of learning, just as staying brave demands a lot of courage. It’s a long, arduous step-by-step routine, and you can reach the end only by swimming on. Persist, even when you fall.

5. Never Stop Searching for Inspiration

And, if it’s a guidance you need, where else to seek it than in experiences of others? Find it in art, in people around you, in chance encounters. The pure beauty of perseverance can be discovered where you expect it the least, so never stop searching for inspiration. If self-help literature soothes your pains and clears your mind, don’t let cynics discourage you. Your path toward reconciliation is nobody’s but yours to choose.

Ever heard of Nick Vujicic? Or Nando Parado? Inspiring people sound their yawps over the roofs of the world, sometimes voiceless, sometimes limbless, sometimes both. Born without arms, Jessica Cox became the most unusual certified pilot in the world, and you can rarely see her without a smile on her face. If you’ve already ripped all of your bucket lists and said goodbye to your dreams and plans, meet Sean Swarner, who’s officially became the first cancer survivor to climb Mount Everest. The stories just go on.

Make your own guidebook! Pen down your positive thoughts, cover your walls with quotes and devise your personal mantras. Whenever things get hard, they’ll be there to remind you of what you need to do. It’s the simplest of all life hacks, and one of the most effective ones.

Find beauty in the world, but never stay blind for its ugliness. However daunting, adversities and emotional pain challenge our inner strength, thus making us resilient and allowing us to grow. As soon as you recognize them as the wind in your sails instead of the devastating storm, the purpose will become simple and clear.

Featured photo credit: Unsplash via unsplash.com

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