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14 Relationship Mindsets That All Girls Should Have Before They Turn 30

14 Relationship Mindsets That All Girls Should Have Before They Turn 30

One of the things we as girls spend the most time doing is thinking about our relationships. And for the right reasons, too. What goes on in our relationships affects us deeply, and dictates our physical and mental well-being. Below are 14 relationship mindsets that all girls should have before they turn 30.

1. 30 is just a number

It is so obvious, yet it is so easy to get caught up in the number mindset. We as girls tend to take this number too seriously. For most of us, the 30 blues don’t hit until it happens, and then suddenly life starts looking different. While this is good if it helps develop a positive sense of urgency for what you want in life, don’t decide on the pace of your relationship based on pre-30 or post-30 benchmarks. Relationships grow organically and everyone’s journey is not the same. The quality of your relationship should be the yardstick for when you want to take it to the next level instead of how old you are or how long you have been in the relationship.

2. Don’t be whiny

Having a complaining attitude can be one of the biggest turn-offs for people around us. The same applies to relationships. If you constantly find yourself complaining about every small thing, it’s time to reflect upon this mindset.

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3. Be a problem solver

Once you have identified that you have been complaining a bit too much, and causing discomfort in your partner, as a result, think about what you can do to be more positive. What is the complaining about? What will it take to fix it? You will be surprised at how much better your quality of life will be by implementing simple changes such as speaking in a more positive tone, and calling yourself out whenever you find yourself complaining.

4. Don’t ignore the warning signs

Steve Jobs once said, “And, like any great relationship, it just gets better and better as the years roll on”.

Don’t drag on a bad relationship if you don’t see positive changes over time. If it is not making you happy today, most likely it will not make you happy tomorrow. The state of a bad relationship doesn’t improve after marriage or having kids. If you are in a happy relationship, you should feel happy. If you feel happiness is missing try to find out the root causes, and work it out with your partner. If he is unwilling to participate or doesn’t live up to his promises, move on.

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5. Be a good listener

While it is crucial for a woman to be heard, try switching gears and lend your partner an ear. You will be surprised by how much insight into your partner’s thinking you will gain by simply listening to him.

6. Remember that communication is key

Whenever you find that you are upset with yourself or with your partner, communicate. A lot of smaller conflicts can snowball into bigger problems if not resolved quickly. Communication is one of the biggest keys to enjoying a happy and fulfilling life.

7. Have a career of your own

Don’t make your relationship your career. Your own career should be your first priority. Like with everything in life, whether or not a relationship will work is not a guarantee. But sometimes the much-needed strength to break out of an ugly relationship comes from standing on your own feet. Financial independence not only boosts your own self-esteem but also creates a sense of respect for you in your partner’s mind.

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8. Have a life outside of your relationship

It is great to do activities with your partner. Probably the most fun trips that you take over your lifetime are with your significant other. But don’t forget to have fun with your friends, and sometimes just with yourself. Your relationship should not debilitate you such that you feel like you can’t do anything without your partner. Remember at times, some unavailability can add the much-needed spice in a relationship.

9. Compromise but don’t sacrifice

While it is okay to compromise on little things such as what movie to watch over the weekend or which restaurant to pick for a date night, do not compromise on things that are against your values. There is a very thin line between compromise and sacrifice. Take care not to sacrifice your happiness just to appease your partner.

10. Remember to give space

It is important to give space to your partner. Sometimes that is all it takes to resolve a conflict or deflate negative feelings. Spending time doing activities by yourself is equally important to doing them with each other. If your partner asks for space, do not hesitate to give him that.

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11. Don’t work on threats

At times, things won’t go your way. For example, you might be ready to take your relationship to the next level, but your partner is not ready for that yet. It is very easy to resort to threats in situations like that, but they only damage the bond you two share. Communicate how you feel to your partner, and work with him to reach a mutually satisfying decision. In the matters of heart, pressure only leads to unhappiness.

12. Watch out for the my-way-or-the-highway mindset

Do you find yourself going into a passive aggressive mode every time something does not go your way? If so, watch out for this mindset. This leads to unhappiness not only on your partner’s end but also makes you unhappy. A relationship involves two people working together to create mutual happiness. If one of them feels like bowing to other’s wishes all the time, the bond crumbles. Only love and understanding for each other’s feelings can bring two hearts together.

13. Don’t try to be a boss

At times, you will come across situations where you feel like your partner is not doing things he ought to do for his own career or for the betterment of your relationship. While it is important to identify these missing pieces, care should be taken to not come across as controlling. If you find your partner expressing discomfort with how you talk to him, try changing the tone.

14. Don’t forget who you are

You will still be the same woman when you turn 30, except wiser and stronger. In making things work with your significant other, sometimes you might tread the slippery slope of forgetting what you stand for. If you find yourself in that state, ask yourself what is important to you. What do you want from life? In this journey called life, two people are only travelers down the same road. Don’t be lost in the path so much that you forget what your destination is. If at some point you find that your paths have changed or don’t converge, it is never too late to change. Remember it is to be happy that two people come together.

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Last Updated on October 16, 2019

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

5 Powerful Ways for Building Fulfilling Relationships

We all have relationships. We have acquaintances, relatives, colleagues, neighbors and friends. However, for a large percentage of us, many of these relationships are not fulfilling.

They are unfulfilling because they lack real strength; and they lack real strength because they lack real depth.

Unfortunately, in today’s society, we tend to have shallow, superficial relationships with others, and it’s extremely hard for this kind of relationships to provide anything more than faint satisfaction.

I’d like to show you, based on my experience as a communication and confidence coach, how you can add a significant amount of depth, and thus strength, to your relationships and make your social life a whole lot more meaningful.

Here’re 5 simple yet powerful ways for meaningful relationships building:

1. Meet More People

This is an apparent paradox, but the quality of the people you meet has considerably to do with the quantity of people you meet.

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If you don’t know a lot of people and you barely meet one or two new people every season of the year, considering the variety of individuals out there, you won’t meet very often people who are a good match with you in terms of personality, interests and values.

And since this natural match plays a huge part in building strong relationships, you’ll just as seldom have the opportunity to develop strong relationships.

Conversely, if you go out a lot, you meet a lot of new people and you constantly expand your social circle, you’re much more likely to meet people you match up well with, and these people have a tremendous potential to become good friends, reliable partners, etc.

This is why it’s important to meet more people.

2. Talk about the Things That Matter To You

A relationship becomes the strongest when two people discover they believe in the same things and have similar interests. It’s these commonalities regarding values and interests that create the strongest emotional connection.

I’ve noticed that many people keep conversations shallow. They talk about trivial stuff such as the weather, what’s on TV, the lives of various movie stars, but they rarely talk about what really matters to them in life. This is a mistake from my perspective, because it’s the perfect method for a relationship to not develop.

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Talk about the things that truly matter to you and give others a chance to know what you care about and what you believe in. If they believe in the same things and they care about the same things, they’ll eagerly let you know. Thus you’ll find meaningful common ground and you’ll feel more connected.

3. Express Vulnerability

Many people try to come off as perfect. They don’t talk about their failures, they hide their shortcomings and they never say anything that could embarrass them.

This is all just a facade though. You may appear perfect to some, but you know you’re not perfect and they know that too. You’re only human and humans have flaws.

However, by hiding your flaws, what you do succeed in is appearing cold and impersonal. You seem like a marble statue rather than a real person. And this makes it very hard for anyone to connect with you emotionally.

Humans connect with other humans, not with ideals. Keep this in mind and don’t be afraid to let your vulnerability and your humanity show. This is what takes a relationship to the next level.

Take a look at this article and find out Why Showing Vulnerability Actually Proves Your Strength.

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4. Have Integrity

Integrity, as I see it, is the alignment between your thoughts, your words and your actions. When you say what you think and you do what you said you’ll do, you have integrity.

This is a crucial trait because if you have integrity, people can trust you. They can trust you to give them an honest feedback, even when it’s hard to shallow, and they can trust you to keep your promises.

This trust is one of the central pillars of a strong relationship, both in your personal and your professional life. So, as challenging as it can be sometimes, always try to have integrity.

Be honest with the people around you, even when this will initially hurt them. It’s more important for them to trust you than to not feel hurt. And always do what you promised. Even better, think twice before you promise anything, and only promise what you really can and you are willing to do.

5. Be There for Others

Another central pillar of strong relationships is support. Connections between people grow sturdy if they can rely on each other for support when it’s needed, whether that support means a few kind words or several massive actions.

Of course, you can’t be there for everybody, all the time. Your time, energy and other resources are limited. But what you can do is identify the genuinely important people in your life and then seek to be there as much as possible, at least for them.

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Your support will help them practically, and it will comfort them emotionally; which makes one hell of a difference in a relationship.

The Bottom Line

With the right mindset and the right behavior, you can strengthen a wide range of relationships in your life and advance them as far as they can be advanced.

And with strong relationships, not only that you feel more fulfilled, but you feel more connected to the entire world. You feel that your life has real value, you have more fun and you live in the moment. An entire world of opportunities opens up in front of you.

Then your task is to simply walk through the open doors.

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Featured photo credit: Proxyclick Visitor Management System via unsplash.com

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