Men and Women are often frustrated when they are rebuffed in their efforts to engage with a love interest. Mr. or Ms. Wonderful appears, and they go for a ride on an emotional rollercoaster – all to no avail. It has been said that some people tend to fall for the “game” rather than the person. Chasing after someone who doesn’t reciprocate can turn a person into an obsessive, unappealing, lovesick puppy. Who is going to fall for that?
Not surprisingly, many people who don’t regard dating as an archaic mating ritual seem to do better in the love stakes, and they don’t appear to have to try hard to attract partners. A report in Psychology Today claims that they do have some observable personality traits – they are independent, confident, contained, and un-needy. Here are some reasons why Cupid favors them:
They Allow Themselves to be Pursued
The misconception that for some people dating is all about “The Chase” is still a popular meme. But if you’re looking for a really meaningful relationship, one with give and take from both partners, constantly being the pursuer isn’t the best road to take. There’s a big difference between making the first move and making all of the moves. Otherwise, how will you know if the other person is interested in you if you don’t give them a chance to reciprocate? If you’re the one doing all of the chasing, you may scare the other person off, or annoy them just enough that even if he or she is interested they won’t pursue it.
They Make Themselves More Attractive by Developing Their Own Individuality
This may sound counterproductive to those who really want to find a partner, but many people often find love once they stop looking for it. Just like in the movie Runaway Bride, if you’re constantly trying to be who or what you think a partner wants, you lose yourself. Spending time to really know who you are and what you stand for, spending time to make yourself whole by healing past wounds, and learning that you don’t need love from someone else to love yourself is a great way to put yourself in a spot where you’re ready for a relationship when it does happen.
They Have Passion in Life
Their whole existence isn’t mortgaged to the dating game. Instead, they relax, pursue their daily activities, and get on with their lives. They believe that they are much more likely to meet an attractive person when they are not searching for them. Instead of chasing the opposite sex, they chase their dreams and ambitions or their bucket list. When a real love opportunity does arise, they don’t need an explanation, because it is the explanation.
They Have a Healthy Social Circle
Although you might be so excited when your love interest finally calls you, and it may be tempting to cancel the plans you already had with your friends, you need to keep those plans and suggest an alternate time or day. You want a significant other who understands that you have friends outside of a romantic relationship and is not threatened by that. You also don’t want to alienate the friends you already have, because you may need to turn to them if a relationship doesn’t work out. And with new people rating apps like Tellit, where you can comment and rate those in your contacts list, you can’t risk letting your friends down.
They Engage in Activities that Interest Them
They realize that they are much more likely to meet a person with similar interests by, for example, joining a hiking club, a choir, a political campaign, or a debating society. They know that romantic relationships can develop from friendships made during mutually enjoyable pursuits. They focus on their growth in life which gives them an attractive air of confidence and makes them a better prospect for a life partnership. You’ll have much better opportunities to meet your soul mate, because your soul mate will be on the same path you are.
They Live Genuinely
They don’t gush to the other person about how awesome he or she is. A person who seems overly enthusiastic, too eager, or calls three times a day can end up seeming like an intruder in the other person’s space.
Is he an avid baseball fan but she’s never even been to a game? Does she like romantic movies but he despises them? OK, some compromise is necessary here if the relationship is to flourish, but they don’t pretend that they are equally enthusiastic about whatever it is. Vive la difference!
They Live Their Life Fully Instead of Waiting for a Call
OK, these days, people have their phones with them, but the principle is the same. They don’t dream that things will be different, lose sleep, and make themselves insane waiting for a three a.m. phone call. That text bubble can be your best friend or your worst nightmare. They look up from their phone and live their lives where they stand a real chance of finding that special someone.
When you do meet that special person, you won’t need to pursue them,
because you’ll both want to walk side by side in the same direction.
Featured photo credit: Ann Haritonenko via shutterstock.com