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Why People Who Don’t Chase Love Are Blessed By Cupid

Why People Who Don’t Chase Love Are Blessed By Cupid

Men and Women are often frustrated when they are rebuffed in their efforts to engage with a love interest. Mr. or Ms. Wonderful appears, and they go for a ride on an emotional rollercoaster – all to no avail. It has been said that some people tend to fall for the “game” rather than the person. Chasing after someone who doesn’t reciprocate can turn a person into an obsessive, unappealing, lovesick puppy. Who is going to fall for that?

Not surprisingly, many people who don’t regard dating as an archaic mating ritual seem to do better in the love stakes, and they don’t appear to have to try hard to attract partners. A report in Psychology Today claims that they do have some observable personality traits – they are independent, confident, contained, and un-needy. Here are some reasons why Cupid favors them:

They Allow Themselves to be Pursued

The misconception that for some people dating is all about “The Chase” is still a popular meme. But if you’re looking for a really meaningful relationship, one with give and take from both partners, constantly being the pursuer isn’t the best road to take. There’s a big difference between making the first move and making all of the moves. Otherwise, how will you know if the other person is interested in you if you don’t give them a chance to reciprocate? If you’re the one doing all of the chasing, you may scare the other person off, or annoy them just enough that even if he or she is interested they won’t pursue it.

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They Make Themselves More Attractive by Developing Their Own Individuality

This may sound counterproductive to those who really want to find a partner, but many people often find love once they stop looking for it. Just like in the movie Runaway Bride, if you’re constantly trying to be who or what you think a partner wants, you lose yourself. Spending time to really know who you are and what you stand for, spending time to make yourself whole by healing past wounds, and learning that you don’t need love from someone else to love yourself is a great way to put yourself in a spot where you’re ready for a relationship when it does happen.

They Have Passion in Life

Their whole existence isn’t mortgaged to the dating game. Instead, they relax, pursue their daily activities, and get on with their lives. They believe that they are much more likely to meet an attractive person when they are not searching for them. Instead of chasing the opposite sex, they chase their dreams and ambitions or their bucket list. When a real love opportunity does arise, they don’t need an explanation, because it is the explanation.

They Have a Healthy Social Circle

Although you might be so excited when your love interest finally calls you, and it may be tempting to cancel the plans you already had with your friends, you need to keep those plans and suggest an alternate time or day. You want a significant other who understands that you have friends outside of a romantic relationship and is not threatened by that. You also don’t want to alienate the friends you already have, because you may need to turn to them if a relationship doesn’t work out. And with new people rating apps like Tellit, where you can comment and rate those in your contacts list, you can’t risk letting your friends down.

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They Engage in Activities that Interest Them

They realize that they are much more likely to meet a person with similar interests by, for example, joining a hiking club, a choir, a political campaign, or a debating society. They know that romantic relationships can develop from friendships made during mutually enjoyable pursuits. They focus on their growth in life which gives them an attractive air of confidence and makes them a better prospect for a life partnership. You’ll have much better opportunities to meet your soul mate, because your soul mate will be on the same path you are.

They Live Genuinely

They don’t gush to the other person about how awesome he or she is. A person who seems overly enthusiastic, too eager, or calls three times a day can end up seeming like an intruder in the other person’s space.

Is he an avid baseball fan but she’s never even been to a game? Does she like romantic movies but he despises them? OK, some compromise is necessary here if the relationship is to flourish, but they don’t pretend that they are equally enthusiastic about whatever it is. Vive la difference!

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They Live Their Life Fully Instead of Waiting for a Call

OK, these days, people have their phones with them, but the principle is the same. They don’t dream that things will be different, lose sleep, and make themselves insane waiting for a three a.m. phone call. That text bubble can be your best friend or your worst nightmare. They look up from their phone and live their lives where they stand a real chance of finding that special someone.

When you do meet that special person, you won’t need to pursue them,

because you’ll both want to walk side by side in the same direction.

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Featured photo credit: Ann Haritonenko via shutterstock.com

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Last Updated on June 13, 2019

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

How to Quit Your Boring Life and Start Living an Interesting One

Think you have a boring life?

The definition of boring is dull or not interesting. Maybe you’ve been doing the same thing and living the same life for too long, or maybe your daily routine is limiting your growth and happiness. Whatever your reason is, the following list of 20 things can definitely make any day more interesting. Some of them are silly, while some are more meaningful, so hopefully just reading the list makes your life less boring and sparks your creativity.

Let’s dive in the list to quit your boring life and start living an interesting (and meaning) one!

1. Channel Your 7-Year-Old Self

What would he or she want to do right now? Color? Paint? Run around outside? Play dress up? Eat with your hands? Play that instrument hiding in the back of your closet that you haven’t touched in years?

Just because you’re a grown up doesn’t mean any of this stuff will be less enjoyable than you remember it. Give yourself permission to play.

2. Go Play with Kids

Speaking of little kids, if you have your own or access to any (in a non-creepy way, like they’re your niece or your best friend’s kid, you get the idea) go play with them!

They didn’t create an entire show called Kids Say The Darndest Things because kids aren’t hilarious. They also keep things so simple, and we can really stand to be reminded of this and stop allowing ourselves to get bogged down in boring details.

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3. Order a Hot Dog

While you’re eating it, Google: “What’s in a hot dog?” You decide whether or not you want to finish it.

4. For the Ladies: Wear Your Sexiest Lingerie Under Your Work Clothes

Your “little secret” will leave you feeling anything but boring all day!

5. Play Cell Phone Roulette

You’ll need at least one buddy for this. Scroll through the contacts in your phone, stop on a random one and call the person.

You could spark an incredible catch up session or be incredibly awkward. Neither are boring.

6. Fill out a Pack of Thank-You Cards

Give them to random people who probably don’t get thanked too often for doing what they do ever day.

Ideas: police officers, librarians, servers, baristas, cab drivers, sanitation workers, teachers, people behind any check out counter, receptionists, your friends, the guy at the falafel stand, etc.

7. Sign up for a Class in Something You’ve “Always Wanted to Do”, or Something That Makes You Really Uncomfortable

Ideas: pole dancing, salsa lessons, improv, pottery, cooking, knitting (yup, there are classes for this, too!), karate, boxing, something techy like the workshops they run in Apple stores, get Rosetta Stone and learn that language you’ve always wanted to speak, etc.

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What’s good about joining an interest class is that you will also meet new people!

8. Interview Your Grandparents About Their Lives

You can bet they’ve had some crazy experiences you probably never knew about.

9. Get up on Stage at an Open Mic Night

Whether you’re funny or not, get up on stage and just talk funny. And if you’re not, memorize a few of your favorite jokes and tell those!

10. Do Something for Someone Else That You Wish Someone Would Do for You

We all have a few ideas on this list. I promise you will feel amazing after and anything but bored.

11. Start a DIY Project in Your Home

It doesn’t have to be super complicated. If you need ideas, there’re plenty on Pinterest. Or you can also check out these 30 Awesome DIY Projects that You’ve Never Heard of.

12. Plan a Weekend Trip or an All-Out Vacation

This will give you something to look forward to.

Even if you don’t have the time or money to go on a vacation, plan for a staycation, which is same fun and relaxing!

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13. People Watch

Find a bench in a crowded area (centers of transportation like airports, bus stops and train stations are great for this!) and just observe.

People are infinitely interesting.

14. Eat Something You’ve Never Eaten Before

Bonus points if it’s a random fruit or veggie.

15. Dance

You can get your friends together for a night on the town or just pull up a video on YouTube and bust a move from your own living room.

If you’re feeling extra brave, you can even dance in public and get other people involved.

16. Go to YOUTUBE and Search “Funny Pets” or “Funny Babies”

This is also a great quickie ab workout as you will be laughing hysterically.

17. Pick up a Book and Start Reading

Check out the NY Times Best Sellers lists and grab a new book you can get lost in.

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18. Step Away from the Computer and Go Get Some Time with People You Care About in Real Life

Facebook stalking doesn’t count as real social interaction. You can even share this post with your friends and vote on which one you’d like to do together!

19. Check out a Museum You’ve Never Been to Before

OK, depending on your interests, this one might actually be boring. If you love learning, art or different cultures though, this one is for you!

20. Write a List of Things You Desire and Truly Want

This is a great way to help you figure out the real reason why you’re feeling bored about your life. Maybe you haven’t really done things that you truly enjoy? Maybe what you’ve wanted to do all the time has been left behind?

Think about the list of things you really want to do, and ask yourself why you aren’t doing these things (yet). Then start taking your first step to make what you want happen.

Now go make your life interesting and live your dream life!

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Featured photo credit: Kev Costello via unsplash.com

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