Advertising
Advertising

Why People Who Don’t Chase Love Are Blessed By Cupid

Why People Who Don’t Chase Love Are Blessed By Cupid

Men and Women are often frustrated when they are rebuffed in their efforts to engage with a love interest. Mr. or Ms. Wonderful appears, and they go for a ride on an emotional rollercoaster – all to no avail. It has been said that some people tend to fall for the “game” rather than the person. Chasing after someone who doesn’t reciprocate can turn a person into an obsessive, unappealing, lovesick puppy. Who is going to fall for that?

Not surprisingly, many people who don’t regard dating as an archaic mating ritual seem to do better in the love stakes, and they don’t appear to have to try hard to attract partners. A report in Psychology Today claims that they do have some observable personality traits – they are independent, confident, contained, and un-needy. Here are some reasons why Cupid favors them:

They Allow Themselves to be Pursued

The misconception that for some people dating is all about “The Chase” is still a popular meme. But if you’re looking for a really meaningful relationship, one with give and take from both partners, constantly being the pursuer isn’t the best road to take. There’s a big difference between making the first move and making all of the moves. Otherwise, how will you know if the other person is interested in you if you don’t give them a chance to reciprocate? If you’re the one doing all of the chasing, you may scare the other person off, or annoy them just enough that even if he or she is interested they won’t pursue it.

Advertising

They Make Themselves More Attractive by Developing Their Own Individuality

This may sound counterproductive to those who really want to find a partner, but many people often find love once they stop looking for it. Just like in the movie Runaway Bride, if you’re constantly trying to be who or what you think a partner wants, you lose yourself. Spending time to really know who you are and what you stand for, spending time to make yourself whole by healing past wounds, and learning that you don’t need love from someone else to love yourself is a great way to put yourself in a spot where you’re ready for a relationship when it does happen.

They Have Passion in Life

Their whole existence isn’t mortgaged to the dating game. Instead, they relax, pursue their daily activities, and get on with their lives. They believe that they are much more likely to meet an attractive person when they are not searching for them. Instead of chasing the opposite sex, they chase their dreams and ambitions or their bucket list. When a real love opportunity does arise, they don’t need an explanation, because it is the explanation.

They Have a Healthy Social Circle

Although you might be so excited when your love interest finally calls you, and it may be tempting to cancel the plans you already had with your friends, you need to keep those plans and suggest an alternate time or day. You want a significant other who understands that you have friends outside of a romantic relationship and is not threatened by that. You also don’t want to alienate the friends you already have, because you may need to turn to them if a relationship doesn’t work out. And with new people rating apps like Tellit, where you can comment and rate those in your contacts list, you can’t risk letting your friends down.

Advertising

They Engage in Activities that Interest Them

They realize that they are much more likely to meet a person with similar interests by, for example, joining a hiking club, a choir, a political campaign, or a debating society. They know that romantic relationships can develop from friendships made during mutually enjoyable pursuits. They focus on their growth in life which gives them an attractive air of confidence and makes them a better prospect for a life partnership. You’ll have much better opportunities to meet your soul mate, because your soul mate will be on the same path you are.

They Live Genuinely

They don’t gush to the other person about how awesome he or she is. A person who seems overly enthusiastic, too eager, or calls three times a day can end up seeming like an intruder in the other person’s space.

Is he an avid baseball fan but she’s never even been to a game? Does she like romantic movies but he despises them? OK, some compromise is necessary here if the relationship is to flourish, but they don’t pretend that they are equally enthusiastic about whatever it is. Vive la difference!

Advertising

They Live Their Life Fully Instead of Waiting for a Call

OK, these days, people have their phones with them, but the principle is the same. They don’t dream that things will be different, lose sleep, and make themselves insane waiting for a three a.m. phone call. That text bubble can be your best friend or your worst nightmare. They look up from their phone and live their lives where they stand a real chance of finding that special someone.

When you do meet that special person, you won’t need to pursue them,

because you’ll both want to walk side by side in the same direction.

Advertising

Featured photo credit: Ann Haritonenko via shutterstock.com

More by this author

Who’s at the Wheel? Technology Causing Distracted Driving and Other Stories of Multi-Tasking Is Your Website Costing You Sales? Staying Afloat: Why Kids Should Learn to Swim If You’re a Burned Out Entrepreneur There’s a Solution Common Signs and Symptoms of Depression in Parents

Trending in Communication

1 How to Live up to Your Full Potential and Succeed in Life 2 7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience 3 5 Steps to Master Networking Skills and Perfect Your Personal Branding 4 The Real Causes of Lack of Energy That Go Beyond Your Physical Health 5 If You Think You’re in an Unhappy Marriage, Remember These 5 Things

Read Next

Advertising
Advertising

Last Updated on December 2, 2018

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

7 Public Speaking Techniques To Help Connect With Your Audience

When giving a presentation or speech, you have to engage your audience effectively in order to truly get your point across. Unlike a written editorial or newsletter, your speech is fleeting; once you’ve said everything you set out to say, you don’t get a second chance to have your voice heard in that specific arena.

You need to make sure your audience hangs on to every word you say, from your introduction to your wrap-up. You can do so by:

1. Connecting them with each other

Picture your typical rock concert. What’s the first thing the singer says to the crowd after jumping out on stage? “Hello (insert city name here)!” Just acknowledging that he’s coherent enough to know where he is is enough for the audience to go wild and get into the show.

Advertising

It makes each individual feel as if they’re a part of something bigger. The same goes for any public speaking event. When an audience hears, “You’re all here because you care deeply about wildlife preservation,” it gives them a sense that they’re not just there to listen, but they’re there to connect with the like-minded people all around them.

2. Connect with their emotions

Speakers always try to get their audience emotionally involved in whatever topic they’re discussing. There are a variety of ways in which to do this, such as using statistics, stories, pictures or videos that really show the importance of the topic at hand.

For example, showing pictures of the aftermath of an accident related to drunk driving will certainly send a specific message to an audience of teenagers and young adults. While doing so might be emotionally nerve-racking to the crowd, it may be necessary to get your point across and engage them fully.

Advertising

3. Keep going back to the beginning

Revisit your theme throughout your presentation. Although you should give your audience the credit they deserve and know that they can follow along, linking back to your initial thesis can act as a subconscious reminder of why what you’re currently telling them is important.

On the other hand, if you simply mention your theme or the point of your speech at the beginning and never mention it again, it gives your audience the impression that it’s not really that important.

4. Link to your audience’s motivation

After you’ve acknowledged your audience’s common interests in being present, discuss their motivation for being there. Be specific. Using the previous example, if your audience clearly cares about wildlife preservation, discuss what can be done to help save endangered species’ from extinction.

Advertising

Don’t just give them cold, hard facts; use the facts to make a point that they can use to better themselves or the world in some way.

5. Entertain them

While not all speeches or presentations are meant to be entertaining in a comedic way, audiences will become thoroughly engaged in anecdotes that relate to the overall theme of the speech. We discussed appealing to emotions, and that’s exactly what a speaker sets out to do when he tells a story from his past or that of a well-known historical figure.

Speakers usually tell more than one story in order to show that the first one they told isn’t simply an anomaly, and that whatever outcome they’re attempting to prove will consistently reoccur, given certain circumstances.

Advertising

6. Appeal to loyalty

Just like the musician mentioning the town he’s playing in will get the audience ready to rock, speakers need to appeal to their audience’s loyalty to their country, company, product or cause. Show them how important it is that they’re present and listening to your speech by making your words hit home to each individual.

In doing so, the members of your audience will feel as if you’re speaking directly to them while you’re addressing the entire crowd.

7. Tell them the benefits of the presentation

Early on in your presentation, you should tell your audience exactly what they’ll learn, and exactly how they’ll learn it. Don’t expect them to listen if they don’t have clear-cut information to listen for. On the other hand, if they know what to listen for, they’ll be more apt to stay engaged throughout your entire presentation so they don’t miss anything.

Featured photo credit: Flickr via farm4.staticflickr.com

Read Next