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Strong Women Don’t Mean To Intimidate, They Just Let Their True Colors Shine

Strong Women Don’t Mean To Intimidate, They Just Let Their True Colors Shine

Are you intimidated by strong women around you? What makes you feel intimidated and why?

Most of the time, your intimidation isn’t caused by who they are as a person, it’s caused by your perception towards yourself. You are afraid that you appear weak in front of these strong women, so you feel intimidated by them. However, if you take a closer look at their personality, you will realize that this intimidating image of strong women you hold is just an illusion from a lack of understanding.

Here are six traits about strong women to help you understand them better.

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1. They are confident.

Their self confidence can be deemed as aggressive, arrogant, and ambitious, especially at work by their colleagues; however, you need to know that they have overcome several challenges in their life to build up their confidence. Nobody is born confident. Everyone has fears and doubts. Strong women just don’t let their fears and doubts hold them back. They’d rather challenge themselves and grow.

It’s not that strong women are arrogant or want to be in the center of attraction, it’s their confidence that naturally attracts attention to them. People come to these strong women for help because they trust their capability. Instead of being intimidated by their confidence, you should learn from them and have more confidence in yourself.

2. They are independent.

Strong women build their own career and are good at making money. They don’t need men to provide for them. Even though they are not looking for someone to take care of them, it doesn’t mean that they don’t need love.

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You might feel threatened by women who are capable of doing everything by themselves because it feels like they don’t need your relationship and that hurts your ego. Strong women need support too. Sometimes they just want to do things on their own first. If they need support from you (which they will), they will ask for it. Support them in areas which they are weaker and remember that their independence is positive.

3. They are secure.

In a relationship, making them jealous doesn’t work. They are secure with themselves and they know what they are worth. They don’t buy the mind-games you play. Once they are committed to you, they are committed to you. They don’t spend time on worrying about the relationship. If you are going to disrespect her or try to make her feel insecure, she won’t hesitate to leave you.

You feel intimidated by a strong woman’s sense of self-worth because you are insecure about yourself. Instead of wasting time playing mind-games with them, work on your own self-worth. Be open with your insecurities, and they will respect you for that.

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4. They are smart.

Strong women love interesting and intellectual conversation. You can forget about small-talk. Talk about things that matter. Rather than talking about what to have for lunch, the latest TV program, or sport, ask them about their opinions on world issues. They have their own way of thinking and they would love to share them with you.

At work, they don’t gossip, so they are easy targets for gossipers. People are intimidated by strong women because they find them too distant and opinionated. You can’t blame them. It’s not that they don’t want to connect with their colleagues, it’s because they aren’t good at making small-talk. Plus, they don’t really care about trends. They aren’t easily swayed by media and other people’s opinions either.

5. They have purpose.

Strong women are bold. They embrace change and are not afraid to take risks or fail. They know what they want in life, with clear goals and purpose. This quality makes them very interesting and attractive, but at the same time, their ambition might seem intimidating.

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Don’t expect them to be the housewives and follow your every command. They won’t give up their dreams just to fit yours, but that doesn’t mean that they aren’t supportive. They still want you to do well. They still care about their family. It’s just that they need to challenge themselves. They want to reach their potential. They take action towards their goals. Consider giving them some space to pursue their goals and encourage them instead.

6. They are authentic.

Strong women are straightforward people. They never suppress their feelings and they don’t take things personally. They also expect you to be honest and straightforward with them too.

However, because they are so straightforward, you might feel that they are being rude and unconcerned with other people’s feelings. They actually do care about people, but they care more about solving the problem that people have than their feelings. They look for solutions. You’re better off just telling them what you think. Don’t sugarcoat or soften your opinions so that they can help you. Let their true colors shine.

Featured photo credit: Untitled / lauren rushing via flickr.com

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Yong Kang Chan

Self-Help Author (Writes about Self-Compassion and Mindfulness)

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Last Updated on February 11, 2021

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

Easily Misunderstood by Others? 6 Barriers You Should Overcome to Make Communication Less Frustrating

How often have you said something simple, only to have the person who you said this to misunderstand it or twist the meaning completely around? Nodding your head in affirmative? Then this means that you are being unclear in your communication.

Communication should be simple, right? It’s all about two people or more talking and explaining something to the other. The problem lies in the talking itself, somehow we end up being unclear, and our words, attitude or even the way of talking becomes a barrier in communication, most of the times unknowingly. We give you six common barriers to communication, and how to get past them; for you to actually say what you mean, and or the other person to understand it as well…

The 6 Walls You Need to Break Down to Make Communication Effective

Think about it this way, a simple phrase like “what do you mean” can be said in many different ways and each different way would end up “communicating” something else entirely. Scream it at the other person, and the perception would be anger. Whisper this is someone’s ear and others may take it as if you were plotting something. Say it in another language, and no one gets what you mean at all, if they don’t speak it… This is what we mean when we say that talking or saying something that’s clear in your head, many not mean that you have successfully communicated it across to your intended audience – thus what you say and how, where and why you said it – at times become barriers to communication.[1]

Perceptual Barrier

The moment you say something in a confrontational, sarcastic, angry or emotional tone, you have set up perceptual barriers to communication. The other person or people to whom you are trying to communicate your point get the message that you are disinterested in what you are saying and sort of turn a deaf ear. In effect, you are yelling your point across to person who might as well be deaf![2]

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The problem: When you have a tone that’s not particularly positive, a body language that denotes your own disinterest in the situation and let your own stereotypes and misgivings enter the conversation via the way you talk and gesture, the other person perceives what you saying an entirely different manner than say if you said the same while smiling and catching their gaze.

The solution: Start the conversation on a positive note, and don’t let what you think color your tone, gestures of body language. Maintain eye contact with your audience, and smile openly and wholeheartedly…

Attitudinal Barrier

Some people, if you would excuse the language, are simply badass and in general are unable to form relationships or even a common point of communication with others, due to their habit of thinking to highly or too lowly of them. They basically have an attitude problem – since they hold themselves in high esteem, they are unable to form genuine lines of communication with anyone. The same is true if they think too little of themselves as well.[3]

The problem: If anyone at work, or even in your family, tends to roam around with a superior air – anything they say is likely to be taken by you and the others with a pinch, or even a bag of salt. Simply because whenever they talk, the first thing to come out of it is their condescending attitude. And in case there’s someone with an inferiority complex, their incessant self-pity forms barriers to communication.

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The solution: Use simple words and an encouraging smile to communicate effectively – and stick to constructive criticism, and not criticism because you are a perfectionist. If you see someone doing a good job, let them know, and disregard the thought that you could have done it better. It’s their job so measure them by industry standards and not your own.

Language Barrier

This is perhaps the commonest and the most inadvertent of barriers to communication. Using big words, too much of technical jargon or even using just the wrong language at the incorrect or inopportune time can lead to a loss or misinterpretation of communication. It may have sounded right in your head and to your ears as well, but if sounded gobbledygook to the others, the purpose is lost.

The problem: Say you are trying to explain a process to the newbies and end up using every technical word and industry jargon that you knew – your communication has failed if the newbie understood zilch. You have to, without sounding patronizing, explain things to someone in the simplest language they understand instead of the most complex that you do.

The solution: Simplify things for the other person to understand you, and understand it well. Think about it this way: if you are trying to explain something scientific to a child, you tone it down to their thinking capacity, without “dumbing” anything down in the process.[4]

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Emotional Barrier

Sometimes, we hesitate in opening our mouths, for fear of putting our foot in it! Other times, our emotional state is so fragile that we keep it and our lips zipped tightly together lest we explode. This is the time that our emotions become barriers to communication.[5]

The problem: Say you had a fight at home and are on a slow boil, muttering, in your head, about the injustice of it all. At this time, you have to give someone a dressing down over their work performance. You are likely to transfer at least part of your angst to the conversation then, and talk about unfairness in general, leaving the other person stymied about what you actually meant!

The solution: Remove your emotions and feelings to a personal space, and talk to the other person as you normally would. Treat any phobias or fears that you have and nip them in the bud so that they don’t become a problem. And remember, no one is perfect.

Cultural Barrier

Sometimes, being in an ever-shrinking world means that inadvertently, rules can make cultures clash and cultural clashes can turn into barriers to communication. The idea is to make your point across without hurting anyone’s cultural or religious sentiments.

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The problem: There are so many ways culture clashes can happen during communication and with cultural clashes; it’s not always about ethnicity. A non-smoker may have problems with smokers taking breaks; an older boss may have issues with younger staff using the Internet too much.

The solution: Communicate only what is necessary to get the point across – and eave your personal sentiments or feelings out of it. Try to be accommodative of the other’s viewpoint, and in case you still need to work it out, do it one to one, to avoid making a spectacle of the other person’s beliefs.[6]

Gender Barrier

Finally, it’s about Men from Mars and Women from Venus. Sometimes, men don’t understand women and women don’t get men – and this gender gap throws barriers in communication. Women tend to take conflict to their graves, literally, while men can move on instantly. Women rely on intuition, men on logic – so inherently, gender becomes a big block in successful communication.[7]

The problem: A male boss may inadvertently rub his female subordinates the wrong way with anti-feminism innuendoes, or even have problems with women taking too many family leaves. Similarly, women sometimes let their emotions get the better of them, something a male audience can’t relate to.

The solution: Talk to people like people – don’t think or classify them into genders and then talk accordingly. Don’t make comments or innuendos that are gender biased – you don’t have to come across as an MCP or as a bra-burning feminist either. Keep gender out of it.

And remember, the key to successful communication is simply being open, making eye contact and smiling intermittently. The battle is usually half won when you say what you mean in simple, straightforward words and keep your emotions out of it.

Reference

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