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5 Goals You Should Commit to 10X Your Life in 2016

5 Goals You Should Commit to 10X Your Life in 2016

The new year is almost upon us.

This means a fresh start, new goals, and new opportunities ahead. Every year we revert back to setting the same old, boring goals that we give up on before February. The main reason is that these goals aren’t exciting enough.

We need to set goals that will have a 10x impact in our lives, which gets us energized just thinking about the effect it can have on us.

In 2016, let’s take it up a notch and commit to goals that will 10x your life.

Here are 5 to get you started.

1. Travel Somewhere That Makes You Uncomfortable

Traveling the world itself can expand your mind, but traveling somewhere that makes you uncomfortable can change your life.

Where in the world can you go that you’ve never been before?

When I traveled to South America this year, I knew zero Spanish, zero people, and zero idea on how I was going to get around. But that experience fundamentally shifted the way I looked at the world. From witnessing some of the poorest people on the planet to building a deep relationship with people I would never have had the opportunity to connect with, these are experiences that will transform the way I make decisions for the rest of my life.

Eiffel tower reflection in camera lenses
    Eiffel tower reflection in camera lenses

    It’s part of the reason why we created the 1% program at Rype, where we donate 1% of what we make and 1% of our time to organizations like Pencils of Promise, who are building hundreds of schools in developing nations for children in need.

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    The surprising realization of all this is that we often underestimate our capabilities and what we have the potential to overcome, so as scary as it may be to some of us to travel alone to a place like Colombia or Peru, it’s not nearly as bad as we think.

    2. Learn A New Instrument

    Learning a new instrument like guitar can not only help de-stress you, but it’s a great way to improve your mental capabilities as well.

    With a little bit of dedication and persistency, there are dozens amazing place to learn an instrument at the comfort of your home, such as browsing around Youtube Music. Or you could find a local teacher in your city, which could be a more intimate learning experience when it comes to music.

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      If you’re not sure which instrument you should learn, check out this article.

      3. Learn A New Language

      Of course, we have to advocate learning a new language. We’ve written extensively about the benefits of learning a new language, what are the most effective ways to learn, and where to learn a new language, so we won’t repeat them here.

      However, there’s no better time to start than the beginning of the new year.

      The first step is discovering which language you should learn (if you haven’t already). While we don’t want to set up any limitations, we want you to learn a new language for the right reason, because a weak one will make it easy to quit early on.

      Here are some weak reasons to learn a new language:

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      a. Most number of speakers

      When you pick a language for the sake of being able to speak to as many people in the world, this is not a good reason. The reason is, with nearly every language, you’re going to be able to find enough speakers wherever you go.

      Let’s say you want to learn Mandarin with over 1 billion speakers around the world, there’s no real benefit of learning Mandarin because of this reason since you will never engage in a personal conversation with 1 billion people in your lifetime.

      b. Best for your CV/Resume

      Most jobs won’t require you to know another language, so unless you’re planning to join a company specifically for the sake of using a target language, then it’s likely not going to make a big difference.

      Yes, it is better to learn Spanish, German, or Mandarin if you have the desire to eventually do business internationally, but is one better than the other? Not really.

      c. The one you learned in elementary or high school

      You may have some knowledge embedded in your memory from your younger days, but this shouldn’t limit you from making the decision to learn another language. Let’s say you learned French in school.

      It doesn’t mean that re-learning this language will be much easier than to learn Spanish or Italian.

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        Learn what you plan to use

        As Benny Lewis, from Fluentin3months says, “Spending all your time with books or courses may help a little, but unless you are willing to make mistakes in front of people you won’t get far on improving your spoken abilities.”

        This means that your plan to use the language shouldn’t be too far away. We personally recommend anything below 4-6 months.

        Do you have a family member that speaks Spanish? Or are you going to be travelling to France this summer in a few months?

        Unless you use it, you’re certain to lose it!

        We recommend checking out our free mini-course on how to learn a new language in 90 days.

        4. Get Your Health In Order

        Your health is your wealth. Taking care of your health will not only improve your physical body, but your mental agility as well.

        Like any new habit, we recommend starting small and finding something to keep you accountable.

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        A few examples for fitness could be enrolling into a gym membership, finding a trainer, or joining a kickboxing class. This way there’s something you’ve committed to and you’re much more likely to stick with it.

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          As for nutrition, you could make the commitment to only drink 1 cup of coffee per day or cutting caffeine completely. Or as simple as the decision to wake up earlier to eat a healthy breakfast each morning. You’ll be surprised how many people miss this step!

          5. Spend More Time With Your Loved Ones

          There’s nothing that can replace the time we have with our loved ones, whether that’s your children, spouse, girlfriend/boyfriend, or your close friends. Yes, we can decide to squeeze in more hours of work on the weekends, but is it worth it?

          From history the biggest regret that people have before they die is not that they could have been more productive in their careers, but that they didn’t get to spend enough time with the people they love. This applies whether you’re 17 years old or 50 years old reading this.

          We hope that 2016 is a year full of growth, learning, and love.

          Share Your Thoughts

          What is a goal you have for 2016?
          Do you agree or disagree with some of the goals we suggested?

          More by this author

          Sean Kim

          Sean is the founder and CEO of Rype, a language learning app. He's an entrepreneur and blogger.

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          Published on April 7, 2021

          6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

          6 Signs Of A Controlling Person To Be Aware Of

          Some of the most manipulative people are so good at what they do that their words and actions can convince you into thinking they truly care about what’s best for you when in reality, it’s quite the opposite. The most common signs of a controlling person are rarely obvious to outside observers. And for someone enmeshed in a controlling relationship or friendship, it can be incredibly challenging to stay away from this toxic person, even if you’re aware of their emotionally abusive tendencies.

          While it’s ultimately up to you to decide whether to preserve or leave a lopsided, unfulfilling relationship, it’s nevertheless critical to understand the following six signs of controlling people so you can better advocate for yourself and mitigate the influence of their manipulative tendencies in your own life.

          1. They Push Their Own Personal Agenda

          Do you know someone who always tries to micromanage the words, behaviors, and attitudes of people around them? Does this person act like they have the right to know anything they want about you, including your location, what you’re doing in a given moment, who you’re talking to online, or any other private information about you? And when planning events and special occasions, does this person dominate conversations, steer plans in their own preferred directions, disparage others’ suggestions, and refuse to collaborate with anyone who might disagree with them?

          If you answered “yes” to some of the above questions, then those are clear signs of a controlling person whom you absolutely need to be cautious around. Controlling people are reluctant to even consider alternative ideas, let alone enthusiastically work with people who have differing views. They prefer to be the captain of every ship—regardless of how much or how little an issue personally impacts them—and they have an arsenal of manipulative tactics to deploy if someone stands in the way of them achieving their own personal agendas.

          In long-term relationships with controlling people, you may feel constantly pressured to meet their demands, follow their schedule, and focus on whatever they feel is most important. It’s not an exaggeration to say that these people act like the universe revolves around them, which can be exhausting to deal with for their family members, friends, and colleagues.

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          2. They Make Everything Transactional

          Controlling people aren’t always self-centered, but they’re not too empathetic either. Empathy for them tends to appear in the form of strategic concessions they use as a means to get what they want. They typically view interpersonal relationships as transactional opportunities to extract more value from people surrounding them, which can have a draining effect on those they interact with.

          For example, one sign of a controlling person may be their insistence on “keeping score.” This can involve doing nice things for you with the ulterior motive of demanding something from you at a later date in exchange for what you thought was just an act of kindness or a friendly support.

          Perhaps they shower you in praise (also known as “love-bombing”) or gifts then blow up at you if you don’t intuitively know they’re expecting something back from you. None of us are mind-readers, but controlling people behave as though everyone else should think and act like they want others to and those who fall out of line are punished for failing to meet their impossible expectations.

          A controlling person may also threaten to withhold support if you don’t adhere to their demands, but they do so in such subtle ways that the guilt they impose blinds you from the unreasonable nature of their behaviors.

          Some statements to be wary of include:

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          • “I did ___________ for you. What do you mean you can’t do ___________ for me?”
          • “Remember how I helped you with ___________? That took a lot of time and energy from me, but I guess you didn’t appreciate my help.”
          • “I always give you ___________. Don’t you care about my needs too?”
          • “You’re so selfish!” or “You don’t care about me at all!” (gaslighting if you respond with hesitation or politely decline their request for help for perfectly valid reasons, such as not having enough time or resources to assist them)

          3. They Criticize Everything

          One of the most common telltale signs of a controlling person is their capacity to criticize anything and everything, even small things that seemingly don’t matter. As with many toxic traits in relationships, these problems typically start out so small that you may not even notice. At first, you may even agree with their criticism or at least be able to understand their perspective when they bring up an issue.

          However, the criticism tends to get more intense, more constant, and more perplexing for people who maintain relationships with controlling people. You’ll likely notice how they rarely seem to criticize something they do. It’s almost always other-oriented and these types of people are so manipulative that any rationale they offer can seem plausibly legitimate.

          Some warning signs of a controlling person who’s overly critical to the point of abusiveness include:

          • Criticizing things about you that you have little to no control over (e.g., appearance, disability, family)
          • Criticizing your personal choices and interests, such as educational pursuits, career, clothing, favorite music, time spent on your hobbies, etc.
          • Punishing you for expressing vulnerability by invalidating thoughts and feelings you share with them
          • Attacking you whenever you express an opinion counter to theirs

          4. They Balk When Someone Criticizes Them

          We all know the adage, “what goes around, comes around.” But this statement doesn’t apply as much to toxic, controlling people. They’d much prefer to dish out criticism without ever having to take it in return.

          For instance, if your friend constantly talks about your appearance with little regard for your emotions but flips out if you make just a single comment about their appearance, there’s a possibility that they could have some hidden controlling tendencies left unchecked. Remember, these people aren’t just controlling in their behaviors towards others. They’re also actively trying to stay in complete control over every aspect of their lives, which includes how others view them.

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          This seemingly insatiable desire for control can prompt them to lash out against even the smallest bits of criticism, leaving people around them too weary or scared to speak up again in the future. While it’s possible they may suffer from something called rejection sensitivity dysphoria, this does not excuse them from the consequences of their words and actions. They should seek professional help to better manage their reactions to criticism.

          5. They Socially Isolate You

          Not all controlling people do this, but for manipulative narcissists, socially isolating victims is a go-to strategy for maintaining control because it’s effective at preventing people from truly understanding how toxic their partner, family member, or friend is treating them. Think of it this way—if you don’t talk to many other people in your life, there’s less of a risk that you’ll damage their reputation by revealing their abusive tendencies.

          Socially isolating others also gives the person more control over you and your life as it becomes more difficult to break away from them if you don’t have other healthier channels of communication and interpersonal support to turn to.

          This process doesn’t happen overnight, nor is it something you can readily recognize as abusive. At first, it may seem reasonable, such as asking you to stop engaging so often with family members with whom both of you disagree on major social or political issues. As the social isolation progresses, they may suggest cutting people out of your life—especially if they don’t like that person, regardless of how you personally feel—or even conjure up high-stakes problems like “it’s me or them” under the guise of saving you from people in your life whom they don’t like for whatever reason.

          In a controlling person’s life narrative, they’re always the protagonist who’s incapable of any wrongdoing. The blame is always redirected at someone else, whether that’s you or other people in your life. The more they isolate you from other supportive people in your life, the more susceptible you’ll be to falsely believing that they’re right and you “don’t need” your other friends and family when you have someone as perfect as this person.

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          6. They’re Emotionally Abusive

          It’s hard enough to be in control of your own emotions but when someone else is constantly belittling you and your interests or leveraging guilt and shame to manipulate you into saying or doing what they want, this can make it even more challenging to stay in control of your own life and emotional well-being.

          Emotional abuse is another sign of a controlling person that is often overlooked in relationships. After all, human personalities vary widely in terms of passivity, and it’s not uncommon for one person in a relationship to be significantly more passive than the other. This becomes an issue when the controlling partner or friend exudes signs of emotional abuse, which can start subtly and become much more pronounced over time.

          Concerning signs of emotionally abusive language or behavior to watch out for include:

          • Dismissing your needs and/or belittling your interests in counterproductive ways
          • Privately or publicly shaming or humiliating you
          • Making you feel as though you can never live up to their expectations or do anything right (according to their own vague, subjective standards)
          • Gaslighting you into thinking they said or did something that never actually happened (making you question your own reality)

          Final Thoughts

          It’s sometimes hard to see the negative things about someone with whom we have a relationship. We may sometimes unconsciously overlook the signs of a controlling person, especially if that person is someone we have known for a long time or are close to us. However, cutting them off your life is the best thing you can do for yourself. Just watch out for these six signs of a controlling person and take immediate action when you spot them.

          More Tips on How To Deal With a Controlling Person

          Featured photo credit: Külli Kittus via unsplash.com

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