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8 Old-fashioned Dating Ideas To Strengthen Your Relationship

8 Old-fashioned Dating Ideas To Strengthen Your Relationship

Do you ever feel like you are dating in the wrong era?

Technology now gives us new ways of dating and expressing love, from swiping right on Tinder to sharing a few emoji-filled texts with your crush.

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For some people though, modern dating cannot be compared to old-fashioned dating. Old-fashioned dating seems more romantic and sweet without mobile phones and laptops.

A small amount of effort goes a long way to improve a date – check out 8 old-fashioned dating ideas that should be revived.

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1. Not using your mobile on a date

Technology rules our lives – and our relationships. Many people feel like their partners spend too much time checking their texts, Facebook, Snapchat and Instagram when they are together, and nothing ruins a date faster than feeling ignored. Putting the phones away gives you a chance to actually have an awesome, meaningful face-to-face conversation.

2. Picking your partner up before going on a date

None of this meeting at the location – let’s face it, no-one enjoys a lonely bus or car ride alone to their date. You may feel nervous, with butterflies in your stomach, and you may even worry about being stood up. With old-fashioned dating it was customary for the man to pick up his date – and even walk up to her door! This means you get to travel to the date together, and by the time you get there the nerves will be gone and you will both be having fun.

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3. Taking your partner home after a date

Many people today either go home together, or they go home separately. But the date isn’t just a line-up to sex; you could have met someone wonderful who you would love to hang out with again. With old-fashioned dating, it was customary for the man to make sure the woman got home safely. Although women don’t need a man to make sure they are safe, the gesture was very sweet and it gave the couple a chance to talk some more – and maybe even have a romantic kiss in the doorway.

4. Not following the ‘rules’ of dating

Modern dating is filled with strange rules about when you should call someone after a date, and even when you should sleep with them. With old-fashioned dating, if you liked someone you would simply let them know how much you like them. Why waste time when you’ve met someone you really like? Upfront and honest is always the best method when it comes to love and dating.

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5. Buying each other flowers

There is nothing better than a romantic gesture to show your date that you’ve been thinking about them. Flowers are a classic gift from old-fashioned dating, and they are the perfect way to show someone you like them without spending a crazy amount of money. They also smell wonderful and look beautiful!

6. Dancing together

Most modern dating destinations mean you have the option to dance, but very few couples do, which is a huge shame. Dancing was an important part old-fashioned dating and it is so much fun. Don’t worry about not having the best moves – dancing with a date is all about making each other laugh while getting intimate!

7. Taking it slow

Most people know a couple who said “I love you” after two weeks of dating – what is that?! Many people seem to confuse love and lust with each other, resulting in difficult break-ups after expecting too much from each other. Love was slower with old-fashioned dating, so when you fell in love you knew the feeling was real.

8. Introducing your date to people

Many people nowadays don’t want to talk about who they are dating until it is ‘serious’. They can go on many different dates without their family or friends knowing who the date is. With old-fashioned dating, people were proud of their date, and they happily spoke about them to their loved ones. Let’s face it; it is a little rude if you don’t, and it can leave your date feeling awkward.

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Amy Johnson

Amy is a writer who blogs about relationships and lifestyle advice.

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Published on October 7, 2019

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

4 Types of Toxic People and How to Deal with Them

Can a person really be toxic? Well, a toxic person does not refer to those who are affected by the virus or toxic. To be precise, toxic people are those who are very unsupportive, abusive and unhealthy in nature. Their behavior is filled with venom and you will not feel any sort of gentle breeze in their words.

In this article, you will learn how to spot out a toxic person, and what you can do to deal with them.

Signs of Toxic People

To make it more obvious, I have added some signs of toxic people below.

Manipulative Behavior And Fabricated Mind

Toxic people are unable to deal with the bitter truth firmly. If you are going to blurt out their fabrications with proof, they will try to change the whole matter with their manipulative behavior. They will titillate you with sensitive words or they will try to frighten you to get rid of the problems.

Inhuman And Merciless in Nature

We know that sharing our thoughts with friends will keep us in good mental state. But, if you are not getting fruitful outcomes, you have to understand that you are spending time with toxic friends.

Toxic people do not know how to put themselves in other’s shoes. They just put on a mask of simplicity. But, in reality, they don’t have feelings for you. Therefore, you should stop sharing your valuable time with them as you will get nothing except annoyance and silence.

Hypocrisy at Its Best in Their Nature

Toxic people have a great hunger for respect, adoration, and fidelity. After dignifying them with these valuable elements, you will get nothing; you will be cheated, manipulated and criticized by them. And, if you are not willing to listen to them, you will be controlled by guilt-tripping.

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Emotional Outburst And Pathological Excuses

Toxic people always want to see themselves in the positive end. Therefore, to get their job done, they always have an emotional outburst and emotional excuse to make an impulsive impression upon you.

We do mistakes and it is our duty to accept those mistakes. But, toxic people have their own rules, they have a tendency to present themselves rationally even after committing a mistake. If someone tries to expose themselves with facts, they show no embarrassment and use emotional excuses as a shield.

Play with Your Emotion And Gradually Erode It

Toxic people always try to condescend you with critical jokes and when you try to elicit your thoughts, they just burst out laughing. Teasing becomes an important element in your relationship with toxic person. They even give you backhanded compliments to belittle you.

Thus, using their toxic mindset, they just gradually diminish your abilities as well as intelligence. And you will have nothing left in your hand other than putting up with these things to maintain the silence.

Well, you probably might have not seen all these signs in one person as there are different types of toxic people roaming around you.

4 Types of Toxic People

To understand it better, I’m mentioning the different types of toxic people here.

1. Conversational Narcissist

There are some toxic people who do not know how to give importance to others. They will talk about themselves but never ask you about your condition; they will only recall you when they need you or they are facing some sort of problems.

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2. Emotional Vampires

These vampires do not suck your blood but dissipate your emotion. They always talk negatively about everyone and compel you to think in the same pattern that they follow. They mask themselves in such a way in front of you that you gradually start giving importance to them. But, ultimately, you will not get any positive outcome from them.

3. Monsters with Green eyes

As discussed earlier, toxic people will give you backhanded compliments. Basically, these are called monsters with green eyes. These monsters feel happy when you feel sad. Therefore, they will always try to belittle your achievements, intelligence, and strengths. Along with it, they give compliments with some negativity in it.

4. Black-Eyed Cats

These cats always do mew-mew and try to control everything around them. They love to be pampered but, they do not like if someone goes against them.

If you are in a relationship with such persons, you will be nagged until you are giving them complete satisfaction. In a nutshell, it must be said that you have to align yourself with them if you want to live with them. But, ultimately, you will lose your mental, conversational and emotional freedom.

How to Deal with Toxic People

Living with problems is more convenient than living with toxic people. But, toxic people are parasites and therefore, you will see these monsters rambling around you wherever you go.

However, if you know how to deal with them, it would be very helpful for you and your life would be much easier to live. We have added some tips to assist you, just check these out.

Get Rid of Intermittent Reinforcement

We are very optimistic in nature and over the time, this optimism has reached to such a level that we can happily put up with the ‘close losses’ instead of trying to catch the ‘near wins’.

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B.F Skinner once did an experiment with three rats. He put them in different cages attached with levers. The lever delivered food when it was pressed. In the 1st cage, the lever always delivered food when the rat pressed it. In case of the 2nd cage, food was never delivered by the lever even after pressing it, therefore, the rat understood the lesson and never tried to get food. But, in the third cage, the lever delivered food randomly and as a result, the rat was completely hooked and fixated. He constantly pushed it but didn’t get the food always.

Well, this is called intermittent relationship and the same thing happens in human relationships where toxic people give you intermittent reinforcement and your heart gets pumped up with optimism. As a result, you will be hooked and your life will be fixated at some point with toxic people.

You should learn to move on without them and live your life happily because random happiness cannot bring permanent relief.

Never Make Too Many Allowances And Pardons

Well, sympathetic attitude is very good and it is also a fact that sometimes toxic people suffer from genuine depression, physical as well as mental illness. But, you have to set a boundary and you cannot allow people to get away with anything so easily.

If you make too many allowances as well as pardons, it would not be good for you in the long-term. Yes, there are some people who are facing extreme hardships and they are not even toxic in nature. But, all you can do is show some genuine compassion keeping yourself within the boundaries.

Always Try to Ignore Their Toxic Traps

Demotivational words are the primary weapon that they frequently use in their implications to detract you. Along with this, they throw words in such a way that you start feeling guilty. Well, you must understand that these are just toxic traps and you should not step on it.

Always remember that you will have full access to freedom if you stop taking things personally. They not only do this with you but also with everyone. You just have to keep in mind that these toxic words are not based on truth but on their own mental reproduction. So, you just have to ignore this and focus on your work.

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Show Them Your Beautiful Smile Not the Curves on Your Forehead

Toxic people have an aptitude to attack mentally, mock disgracefully and diminish shamefully. But, you will not be affected if you don’t surrender yourself. Show them that you are not getting belittled or insulted.

We all have our problems and we also know that we are capable of solving these problems. Therefore, the matter entirely depends upon us and if we don’t allow these vampires to enter into our life or play with our emotions, they cannot suck our happiness. So, I’d suggest you show your beautiful smile when they buzz around you.

Don’t Suppress Yourself

Toxic people will intimidate, bully, pass guilt, and forcefully take money from you to get their job done. They know very well that they are doing wrong and at the same time, they are acquainted with the concept that we are incapable of doing anything against them.

Most of the time, we keep ourselves quiet until someone speaks up. And because of this suppressive mindset, we are gradually being dragged into their mind games.

Well, we have to change this concept as it infuses courage into them. We need to obstruct them with firm minds and make them realize the negative consequences of their behavior.[1] If they are upsetting you, just tell them directly. Your direct statement might open a new gate of opportunity that will allow you to help them if they are suffering from genuine problems.

So, why are you still tolerating these toxic people? Follow the tips mentioned above and deal with them in the right way.

Featured photo credit: Devin Avery via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Tips for Grooming: Change Your Fixed Negative Belief

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