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10 important things to tell children this holiday season

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10 important things to tell children this holiday season

It’s so easy to get swept up in the indulgent excesses of the holiday season. We work hard and experience highs and lows all year. We have the chance to reconcile and put things into perspective at its completion.

We find ourselves immersed in our own traditions, while at the same time making new ones with our families and friends and although continuing the customs we are used to is valuable, minor adjustments can be made to not only make them more meaningful, but also to guide children in understanding how we can use the holiday season to become better people.

Here are 10 important things to tell children this holiday season.

1. Let’s understand the different ways people celebrate

The festive season is an exciting time for children. Their understanding of it is simple. They know they will be on holidays from school, they will get presents and they will spend time celebrating with family and friends. Anything beyond that is unimportant to them. They are only aware of their limited experiences. The festive season is an opportunity for us to introduce them to knowledge outside of our own cultural saturation. We can bring to their attention the many ways that people all over the world celebrate the festive season, including multicultural holidays and those from different faiths.

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2. Let’s acknowledge that some don’t or can’t celebrate

As children grow up their scope of awareness is only as wide as what we expose them to. Young children only consider what happens in their own family and friendship circles. Older children will start to understand that there is diversity of experience and opportunity within their own communities, their nation and worldwide. We should use this time to help them think about people that don’t celebrate at the end of the year for whatever reason. They may not want to, it may not be their tradition. Some people can’t afford to or are living in a part of the world that makes it impossible to.

With sensitivity and age appropriate language and ideas, we can start to show children that they are not the center of the universe and although their happiness is our primary concern, for some people, it is not a festive season at all and our children should develop this awareness. There are excellent ways to start a conversation with children about both war and poverty and we shouldn’t shy away from these topics when the opportunity presents itself.

3. Let’s make things

With the necessary sensitive stuff addressed, we can indulge in encouraging children to be creative and productive. The festive season provides endless inspiration to make things. From decorations, presents, cards, table settings, food and desserts, costumes and performances; children can be shown ways to avoid participating in the merchandise overload that floods our world at this time. Not only are there millions of ideas and step by step guides on the internet to try during the holidays, materials are abundant and available.

Children can make things from craft supplies, household items or re-purposed and recycled things they already own. They love being shown how to deconstruct something and make a new thing from it. Children love to dress up and perform and it does wonders for their confidence and self esteem. When children are encouraged to create they not only learn to be thrifty and artistic, they also make memories and that is priceless.

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4. Let’s give stuff away

One of the central aspects of the holiday season is the giving of gifts. Aside from the obligatory presents that we show children to buy for family and friends, this time is a chance to explain to children the true meaning of giving. It is a good time to declutter. This is not only a necessary and useful habit to get children into, it exposes them to the notion of recycling and being generous. We can get them to give away toys and clothes they have outgrown to those less fortunate.

Throughout the year it is a good way to show children how to care for things so that they can be passed on and to educate them about valuing things instead of treating things as disposable. We can also introduce them to charity and making donations. Perhaps they can put aside a little bit of their pocket money or cash gifts to contribute something to a cause they care about like animal welfare or underprivileged or sick children. Something they can relate to.

5. Let’s ask for the right things

Traditionally children are compelled to make lists and think about what they want to receive as gifts. We are certainly bombarded by the promotion of goods marketed directly at children. Children talk about what they wish for among themselves and we perpetuate those desires further to make shopping easier and to give them what they want.

Instead of filling our homes with more objects that provide instant gratification and are soon tossed aside to be replaced by the next fad, why not show children how to appreciate gifts of a less material nature. We can urge them to ask for experiences. How about tickets to a show, membership to a museum or zoo, a gift purchased in their name to an overseas charity, an outing or holiday, an adventure.

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6. Let’s eat well

Let’s face it, we all over indulge a little during the holidays. It’s time to simplify how we partake in feasting to celebrate this time. It’s a great opportunity to be examples to our children about how to make healthy and enjoyable choices. We can all afford to reduce the amount of sugar and salt we consume. We can think about how to access humanely sourced food and we can be aware of how we consume alcohol in front of children. We can also include them in the preparation of food and the cleaning up afterwards, regardless of their age or gender. It should be a time when everyone feels included and contributes.

7. Let’s spend time with loved ones

Family is one of the most important things in life whether they are blood relations or people we have chosen as our circle of kin. For children, feeling as though they belong to a group is paramount. The festive season is a time to put differences aside and promote getting together with the important people in our lives. We can include our children when we visit relatives and reconnect with people we have not seen throughout the year. This time of year is a good time to slow down. We get so busy during the year that we barely spend any quality time with our loved ones. The festive season is an opportunity to regroup; with parents, siblings, cousins, aunties and uncles, grandparents and close friends.

It’s nice to get everyone under one roof for one day, but getting everyone to be in the same place at the same time for a few days can truly center us and is worth a try. These days we can rent holiday houses, organize camping trips and even connect across continents online. Once we have touched base with our foundation and reunited with loved ones, then we can return to our busy lives. We can show our children who the important people in their lives are and why they matter.

8. Let’s be grateful

Being surrounded by loved ones and abundance this holiday season makes us the luckiest people in the world and we should point out to our children that we ought to be grateful. Making them aware of what they have and that it isn’t the situation for everyone helps us to build gratitude and empathy in children. It’s a chance to help them put things into perspective and really understand what matters. It isn’t about the objects we get as presents or all the gratification we get, but rather the love and security we experience.

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9. Let’s reflect on the year that has passed

The end of year festivities allow us to reflect on all that has happened throughout the year, whether it was positive or not. We should talk to children about their achievements and triumphs; the things that made them happy, things they learned or did for the first time. New places they visited and new friends they made. We should reminisce with them about the milestones they have reached and how they have grown and changed from the previous year.

We should also give them the courage and confidence to ponder the moments that made them sad, frightened, unhappy or confused. They need to feel safe to confront the negative experiences in their lives and together talk about what they have learned and gained from them. Reflection teaches children to contemplate their place in the world and their rights, obligations and privileges. It gives them perspective and builds trust and resilience.

10. Let’s look forward to the year ahead

The end of the year is a way for children to comprehend that as things come to an end, we make room for new beginnings. The festive season, above all else is about hope. It forces us to consider what has been and look forward to what is ahead. By learning to set goals and make plans, children discover how to put their minds to a task and determine what they will accomplish. It teaches them self determination, agency, independence and perseverance. It gives them permission and aptitude to take their lives in their own hands and own their destiny.

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Diane Koopman

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Last Updated on October 7, 2021

Why Spending Time With Your Family Is Important (And How To Do So)

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Why Spending Time With Your Family Is Important (And How To Do So)

In today’s chaotic world, having family time isn’t always easy. It can get pretty hard to coordinate schedules, especially if the family is large. Life demands that we work, attend school, nurture friendships, hobbies, etc. All of those things are extremely time-consuming and important—but so is spending time with your family.

Why is family time so important? Because we all need love and support, and a good, strong family can provide that regularly. For children, spending time with their family helps shape them into good, responsible adults, improve their mental health, and develop strong core values.

There are many positive effects of spending time with your family. My family and I, for instance (and this includes grandchildren as well), meet every Tuesday night for dinner and games. My older son and I take turns cooking. This gives all of us a chance to try some new recipes. After dinner, we play games. And without fail, they inspire competitiveness and laughter. As family night has evolved, the grandkids have invited their friends over as well, creating the need for more chairs but also expanding our circle of fun.

Aside from the obvious fun and games, there are other reasons why spending time with your family is paramount. In this article, I will provide you with multiple reasons why spending time with your family regularly is a win-win. And then, I will lay out some ways on how to do it.

Let’s get started, shall we?

Why Spending Time With Your Family Is Important

Here are six reasons why it’s important to spend time with your family.

1. Provides the Opportunity to Bond

When you spend time together as a family—talking about your day, your highs, your lows—it fosters communication. As parents, it gives you the chance to listen to your children, to hear them out, to learn about what’s going on in their world. It also provides you with the opportunity to use life situations as teaching moments.

Before our Tuesday night dinner/game nights, my family used to see each other pretty regularly but not consistently, especially the grandkids. Our family night changed all that. Now, it’s guaranteed that the grandchildren, along with some of their friends, will be there. Not only do I get to find out what’s been happening in their lives, but they also get to know us better. It’s creating memories they can treasure forever, as well as modeling the Get-Together tradition for when they eventually have families of their own.

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“Spending time partaking in everyday family leisure activities has been associated with greater emotional bonding within families.”[1]

2. Teaches the Value of Family

Taking the time to be with your family lets your children know they are valued—that spending time together is a priority. I know that in today’s world, both parents are busy as both usually working. What better way to let your children know they are loved than by carving out time each week to spend with them?

According to Marilyn Price-Mitchell, Ph.D., “words like honesty, trust, fairness, respect, responsibility, and courage are core to centuries of religious, philosophical, and family beliefs. Use them and others to express and reinforce your family values. Teach children the behaviors that flow from these principles. Use quotes to ignite meaningful dinner conversations and encourage kids to talk about these values.”[2]

3. Enhances Mental Well-Being

Spending that quality time together gives your children a safe platform in which to express themselves, ask questions about things that are bothering them, or talk about their day and things they’ve learned. I know that my 9-year old granddaughter can’t wait until it’s her turn to talk about her day. She usually goes on and on and has to be stopped to give everyone else a chance to talk about their goings-on.

“Research shows the quality of family relationships is more important than their size or composition. Whoever the family is made up of, they can build strong, positive relationships that promote wellbeing and support children and young people’s mental health.”[3]

For children, having the opportunity to seek advice from parents they trust—as well as being able to have a sounding board and help with problem-solving—is priceless. In addition, being able to voice their opinions and be heard—and to feel like what they have to say matters—is an esteem-builder. All of these can have a very impactful positive effect on their well-being.

4. Helps the Child Feel Loved

How do you think a child feels knowing their parents want to spend time with them—talking, sharing experiences, playing games, listening to them? It will make them feel as though they are important, and a child that feels important is happier and more apt to thrive. Setting aside chores or work to spend time with your children demonstrates that they’re essential—that they matter. What a gift to give your child!

“If a child has your undivided attention, it signals that they are loved and important to you. This can be further nurtured by experiencing joyful activities together, as it demonstrates that you want to spend time with your children over and above all of the daily demands.”[4]

5. Creates a Safe Environment

If you regularly spend time with your children, you are also creating an atmosphere of trust. The more trust they have, the more likely they are to share with you what’s going on in their world. As they get older, you’re going to want to know. Negative influences can show up at any time, but if you’ve always been there for your child, they are more apt to come to you and ask for your advice.

Spending time together generates familiarity and feelings of being supported. When a child feels safe and comfortable, they’re more likely to open up. This is one way to get to know your child and know what’s on their minds. Are they okay? Do they need your guidance? If so, how?

6. Reduces Stress

This is significant. We all suffer from stress at one point or another in our lives. Spending time with family helps alleviate that stress. It’s an opportunity to talk things out, get feedback, and maybe brainstorm for a solution to the problem that is causing the stress.

According to Brandy Drzymkowski, “During the holidays, your closest five people probably shifts to family and friends. You may even get to see loved ones who live far away. Good news! This can actually help lower your stress levels. Studies show ‘face-to-face interaction…counteracts the body’s defensive ‘fight-or-flight’ response.’ In other words, quality time spent with loved ones is nature’s stress reliever.”[5]

So, now that you know some of the benefits, what are some ideas for making family time happen?

How to Make Family Time Happen

Here are four things you can do to make family time happen and spend more time with them.

1. Family Dinners

This, as I said above, is a wonderful way to spend time together. While you’re having dinner, you have the chance to discuss things that are going on in your lives—the ups, the downs, and everywhere in between. It’s like having a buffer against life’s challenges.

Aside from that, eating dinner together has many additional benefits. Studies have shown that for kids who eat regularly with their families, there is less risk of substance abuse, teen pregnancy, and depression.[6]

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“Our belief in the ‘magic’ of family dinners is grounded in research on the physical, mental and emotional benefits of regular family meals.” It further states, “We recommend combining food, fun and conversation at mealtimes because those three ingredients are the recipe for a warm, positive family dinner—the type of environment that makes these scientifically proven benefits possible.”[7]

According to Parenting NI, “children and adolescents who spend more time with their parents are less likely to get involved in risky behavior. According to studies done by the National Center on Addiction and Substance Abuse via Arizona State University, teens who have infrequent family dinners are twice as likely to use tobacco, nearly twice as likely to use alcohol and one and a half times more likely to use marijuana.”[8]

As you can see, there are multiple benefits to spending time with each other routinely. You can’t go wrong with this family activity.

2.  Regular Movie Nights

This is another fun event, although, from personal experience, I have to caution that choosing a movie that everyone wants to see is not easy. So, give yourselves plenty of time so you don’t spend two hours searching for a movie, and then end up watching no movie at all because the night is practically over. Try and choose a movie before the day, if possible.

Afterward, open it up for discussion. Ask questions pertinent to the movie. What do you think of ABC? Should they have done that? Would you have done something differently? There are so many questions you can ask to spark a conversation and keep the night going.

3. Game Night

This is another occasion for great fun. If you have a competitive spirit, it makes it even more fun. There are numerous games out there—Balderdash, Pictionary, Apples to Apples, Charades, to name a few—that can create fun havoc. All I can say is, on game nights, don’t take yourself too seriously. It’s okay if you lose the game. The fun is in being together, laughing, debating, and having a good time.

In addition, “Playing board games is great for children for many reasons besides the obvious; it’s fun to play games! Age appropriate games can help children to think strategically, solve problems creatively, work on pattern recognition and build simple math skills. They also help children develop social skills such as following rules, taking turns, and graceful winning or losing. Additionally, a family game night provides an opportunity for children to bond with siblings, parents and family members as well as peers. It can promote tradition building and establish a fun routine.”[9]

So, go find your family a game and start having fun!

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4. Sharing a Hobby

If you and one of your kids like to do the same things, do it more often. For example, my oldest son and his teenage son go on long bike rides together on the weekends. Not only do they get to exercise, but they also get to talk and look at beautiful sceneries. They’ve also incorporated cooking into their routine. They plan the meal, shop, and prepare—activities that bring them closer together.

Sharing a hobby is a great way to bring family members together. It bonds people in amazing ways. According to Alison Ratner Mayer, LICSW, “One of the easiest and most important ways to build a child’s self-esteem is to spend time with them doing something not only that they enjoy but something that you also enjoy. There is a special magic that happens between a parent and a child when they share a mutually beloved activity. It sends the message to the child that their parents are having fun, true, honest, real fun, with them.”[10]

Final Thoughts

Spending time with the family is an investment. It is an investment in the happiness, well-being, and security of that system. It can also serve as a way to break out of the daily rut and the constant worldly demands, while at the same time, building a strong family unit.

Even though it isn’t always easy to find the time, finding the time is key to staying close and to providing and receiving love and support. There is no greater gift than the gift of time. That’s what we all seem to be missing nowadays. So, in giving that gift consistently, everyone feels loved and appreciated.

The family that takes the time to interact regularly is typically happy. They know they are part of a tribe, and that’s essential in today’s chaotic world. To know that there are people whom you can count on—people who will have your back in times of need—is invaluable.

Now, go and plan something plan with your family, if you haven’t already.

Featured photo credit: Jimmy Dean via unsplash.com

Reference

[1] Pittsburgh Parent: Spending Time Together—Benefits of Family Time
[2] Roots of Action: Integrity: How Families Teach and Live Their Values
[3] Beyond Blue: Healthy Families
[4] Esperance Anglican Community School: The importance of family time
[5] Brandy Drzymkowski: Spending Time With Loved Ones Reduces Stress
[6] Harvard Graduate School of Education: Harvard EdCast: The Benefit of Family Mealtime
[7] The Family Dinner Project: BENEFITS OF FAMILY DINNERS
[8] Parenting NI: The Importance of Spending Time Together
[9] WNY Children: Family Game Night- The Benefits of Game Play
[10] Child Therapy Boston: The Benefits of Sharing a Hobby With Your Child

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