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12 Things Your Significant Other Will Do If They Actually Care About You

12 Things Your Significant Other Will Do If They Actually Care About You

Some people don’t like commitment. Some are poor at communicating while others are afraid to share how they feel. It’s easy to get discouraged when you’re unsure of how your partner really feels about you. Here are 12 questions to ask yourself to tell if your significant other actually cares about you and being with you.

1. Do they touch you?

Do they hug you, hang on to you, rest their hand on you, or make skin to skin contact frequently? It’s been said that touch can calm your nerves among other things, showing genuine interest in the other person’s well-being.

2. Do they talk about the future?

By talking about the future, your partner shows full interest in being with you for a long time. Women in particular are known to jump to conclusions and talk about their wedding and kids just shortly after getting into the relationship. This is partly to make sure that her high expectations don’t scare her partner off, but if she continues to talk about it, there’s a reason.

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3. Do they smile at you instinctively?

When you stare into their eyes, do they start smiling? Are they happy? Or do they brush it off when you give them your undivided attention?

4. Do they make you feel better when you’re down?

If you’re upset, insecure or hurt by anything that happens, how do they respond? Do they yell at you, telling you to grow up? When you feel insecure, do they try to make you feel safe and secure about the situation?

5. Do they make time for you when it’s inconvenient?

Where exactly do you rank in their friday night plans? Do you have to plan to hang out, or do you just assume that you two will be together this friday, next friday and the friday after that?

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6. Do they know where there phone is with you?

Personally I’ve always found it amusing when you’ve spent the day with someone and enjoyed it so much that neither of you know where your phones are, and don’t really care who’s trying to get ahold of you. This truly shows you’re at the top of their priorities.

7. Do they tell other people how happy they are?

This one is always a winner. Do you always come up in conversation? Does your significant other tell their best friends how happy they are with you? Do they show public displays of affection (PDAs) by posting you consistently on social media? Whether you agree or not, posting pictures on social media shows that you have a long term commitment to this person because if you didn’t and were planning on breaking up, it’d be pretty embarrassing to do so.

8. Do you have to make bold plans as a reason to hang out?

Is your significant other bored when you plan nothing, or are they perfectly content with netflix and chill? This will of course also change as your relationship ages.

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9. Are you their go-to person?

When something bad or funny happens, who do they text, call or can’t wait to call? If it’s their best friend, you may have some work to do.

10. Do they care about your success?

Do they love to brag about you, and tell others what you do? Or do they get jealous and brush everything under the carpet about how great your are?

11. Do they actually mean it when they ask how your day went?

It’s common courtesy to ask someone how their day or sleep was. However, if they actually mean it and aren’t trying to use it as a conversation starter, that’s nothing but a good sign.

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12. Do they trust you?

Do they snoop through your phone? Do they give their phone to you to use or do they protect it from you? Do you know the phone password? Do they delete messages, afraid of how you might react?

No, they don’t need to buy you a brand new Mercedes or Audi to show they care about you. By asking yourself this handful of questions about your and your significant other’s relationship, you can easily tell how the other person feels about you.

Featured photo credit: Josh MacDonald via joshmacdonald.net

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Josh MacDonald

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Last Updated on August 4, 2020

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

The Gentle Art of Saying No For a Less Stressful Life

No!

It’s a simple fact that you can never be productive if you take on too many commitments — you simply spread yourself too thin and will not be able to get anything done, at least not well or on time.

But requests for your time are coming in all the time — through phone, email, IM or in person. To stay productive, and minimize stress, you have to learn the Gentle Art of Saying No — an art that many people have problems with.

What’s so hard about saying no? Well, to start with, it can hurt, anger or disappoint the person you’re saying “no” to, and that’s not usually a fun task. Second, if you hope to work with that person in the future, you’ll want to continue to have a good relationship with that person, and saying “no” in the wrong way can jeopardize that.

But it doesn’t have to be difficult or hard on your relationship. Here’s how to master the Gentle Art of Saying No:

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1. Value Your Time

Know your commitments, and how valuable your precious time is. Then, when someone asks you to dedicate some of your time to a new commitment, you’ll know that you simply cannot do it. And tell them that: “I just can’t right now … my plate is overloaded as it is.”

2. Know Your Priorities

Even if you do have some extra time (which for many of us is rare), is this new commitment really the way you want to spend that time?

For myself, I know that more commitments means less time with my wife and kids, who are more important to me than anything.

3. Practice Saying No

Practice makes perfect. Saying “no” as often as you can is a great way to get better at it and more comfortable with saying the word. And sometimes, repeating the word is the only way to get a message through to extremely persistent people. When they keep insisting, just keep saying no. Eventually, they’ll get the message.

4. Don’t Apologize

A common way to start out is “I’m sorry but …” as people think that it sounds more polite. While politeness is important, apologizing just makes it sound weaker. You need to be firm, and unapologetic about guarding your time.

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5. Stop Being Nice

Again, it’s important to be polite, but being nice by saying yes all the time only hurts you. When you make it easy for people to grab your time (or money), they will continue to do it. But if you erect a wall, they will look for easier targets.

Show them that your time is well guarded by being firm and turning down as many requests (that are not on your top priority list) as possible.

6. Say No to Your Boss

Sometimes we feel that we have to say yes to our boss — they’re our boss, right? And if we say “no,” then we look like we can’t handle the work — at least, that’s the common reasoning.

But in fact, it’s the opposite — explain to your boss that by taking on too many commitments, you are weakening your productivity and jeopardizing your existing commitments. If your boss insists that you take on the project, go over your project or task list and ask him/her to re-prioritize, explaining that there’s only so much you can take on at one time.

7. Pre-Empting

It’s often much easier to pre-empt requests than to say “no” to them after the request has been made. If you know that requests are likely to be made, perhaps in a meeting, just say to everyone as soon as you come into the meeting,

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“Look guys, just to let you know, my week is booked full with some urgent projects and I won’t be able to take on any new requests.”

8. Get Back to You

Instead of providing an answer then and there, it’s often better to tell the person you’ll give their request some thought and get back to them. This will allow you to give it some consideration, and check your commitments and priorities. Then, if you can’t take on the request, simply tell them:

“After giving this some thought, and checking my commitments, I won’t be able to accommodate the request at this time.”

At least you gave it some consideration.

9. Maybe Later

If this is an option that you’d like to keep open, instead of just shutting the door on the person, it’s often better to just say,

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“This sounds like an interesting opportunity, but I just don’t have the time at the moment. Perhaps you could check back with me in [give a time frame].”

Next time, when they check back with you, you might have some free time on your hands.

10. It’s Not You, It’s Me

This classic dating rejection can work in other situations. Don’t be insincere about it, though. Often, the person or project is a good one, but it’s just not right for you, at least not at this time.

Simply say so — you can compliment the idea, the project, the person, the organization … but say that it’s not the right fit, or it’s not what you’re looking for at this time. Only say this if it’s true — people can sense insincerity.

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Featured photo credit: Kyle Glenn via unsplash.com

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