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I Am An Introvert And Here Are Some Common Scenarios In My Life.

I Am An Introvert And Here Are Some Common Scenarios In My Life.

As a blogger, being an introvert can be both empowering and restrictive in equal measure. While I am often indecisive and reserved when it comes to selecting the types of content to publish on my blog, for example, the medium enables me to talk openly about the issues I experience in everyday life. More specifically, I can use my blog as a platform to connect with other introverts and hopefully help them to effectively manage a number of social scenarios.

With this in mind, here are eight typical scenarios that all introverts should be able to relate to. Hopefully, you will be able to recognize the situations and find solace in the fact that you are not alone.

1. Introverts feel lonelier at social events than they do when they are by themselves.

While we must all become accustomed to our own company at times, introverts are often at their loneliest during social gatherings. From informal, after-work meetings to impromptu interactions with long-lost friends, those of us with an introverted mind-set often become lost amid small talk and gradually become isolated from the rest of the room. The main reason for this is that we introverts tend to crave deep, one-on-one conversations, rather than trying to compete for center stage amid a gaggle of shouting voices!

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2. Introverts make for the most inept party hosts.

Similarly, you would be hard-pushed to find a more unsuitable party host than an introvert. This instantly throws introverts under the glare of the spotlight, where they are required to meet guests and socialize with people outside of their immediate, trusted network. Such discomfort can quickly turn into panic, especially as unexpected guests turn up and you resort to spend your time anxiously policing the behavior of others rather than socializing.

3. Introverts magically disappear in group conversations.

If you belong to the band of introverts who constantly try to immerse themselves in group interactions, you will be accustomed to a brief period of promise followed by sudden disappointment. While you may enter a social setting and quickly try to socialize with others, for example, your inability of engage in small talk will ultimately cause you to lose the attention of others and gradually fade into the background. Cue a period of harsh introspection, as you magically disappear from the group’s conscience and become a peripheral figure.

4. Introverts either struggle to think or over-think in social situations.

Life as an introvert is one of extremes, as you fluctuate between being unable to think in social scenarios and over-analyzing every chosen word or topic for conversation. In terms of the former, introverts will know that it is almost impossible to think within a group, as endless small talk and chatter disrupts their thought processes and prevents them from processing topics of conversation. As they become anxious and even keener to make an impression, however, they visit the other extreme and over analyse every potential contribution to the conversation.

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This filter ultimately creates doubt and confusion, meaning that introverts sit silently on the sidelines while the world passes them by.

5. Introverts dread a ringing phone.

I myself am not a huge fan of phone calls, usually because they are either made by customer service reps or family members wanting to engage in idle chit-chat. Either way the sound of a ringing phone usually triggers a sense of dread or apprehension, which will probably strike a chord with all introverts out there. This will usually force me to ignore repeated calls, until I summon the will to return them (at least to numbers that I recognize). The irony of this is that I also hate making calls too, so this creates an all too familiar cycle of anxiety and procrastination!

6. Introverts are often under-appreciated and under-estimated in the workplace.

As introverts we are often under-appreciated in the workplace, primarily because we are misunderstood by employers. An often overlooked characteristic of introverts is that they are motivated and energized by internal thoughts, as opposed to extroverts who thrive on the energy of others. This type of introspective approach can often be confused with apathy or a lack of confidence by employers, forcing them to constantly overlook introverts for promotion and advancement.

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I can identify with this only too well, and this is the primary reason why I decided to work independently as a blogger and writer.

7. Introverts often wish they were extroverted.

In many ways, you cannot blame employees for misunderstanding introverts. After all, I have met many introverts who misunderstand their own condition and crave the energy and social prowess showcased by those with an extroverted personality. This can occasionally serve as the inspiration for introverts to enter into group conversations, as a part of them longs to hold court and interact with others simultaneously. Such envy can hinder introverts, however, as they waste time longing to be something they are not rather than embracing their nature and making the most of their lives.

8. Introverts struggle to build romantic relationships.

While their ability to listen and pursue paths of personal development makes introvert excellent romantic companions, building such liaisons in the first instance can be painstaking, time consuming and the very definition of awkward. All introverts will associate with the familiar feeling of dread when meeting someone that they like for the very first time, as they become flustered and struggle to muster the words required to engage them.

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I would urge all introverts to persist, however, as we have the capability to enjoy harmonious and genuinely peaceful relationships.

Featured photo credit: Send me Adrift / Flickr via flickr.com

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Last Updated on April 14, 2021

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

How to Deal With Anger (The Ultimate Anger Management Guide)

We all lose our temper from time to time, and expressing anger is actually a healthy thing to do in our relationships with others. Expressing our differences in opinion allows us to have healthy conflict and many times come to an agreement or understanding that works for everyone. However, there are times when anger can become overwhelming or damaging, and during these times, it’s important to learn how to deal with anger.

Expressing anger inappropriately can be harmful to relationships, both personal and professional. You may express too much anger, too often, or at times that are only going to make things worse, not better. In this article we will look at anger management techniques that will help you better control your emotions.

Let’s take a deeper look at how to deal with anger.

Expressing Anger

Anger is a natural and normal part of almost any relationship. This includes relationships with your significant other, kids, boss, friends, family, etc. Anger provides us with valuable information if we are willing to listen to it. It clues us in to areas where we disagree with others and things that need to be changed or altered.

Unhealthy Ways to Express Anger

Here are some common yet unhealthy ways to express anger that you should avoid:

Being Passive-Aggressive

This is a term many of us are familiar with. Passive-aggressive behavior happens when someone is angry but uses indirect communication to express their anger.

Some of the more common passive-aggressive behaviors include the silent treatment, making comments about someone behind their back, being grumpy, moody, or pouting, or simply not doing tasks or assignments that they should.

This is a passive-aggressive person’s way of showing their anger. It’s not very productive but extremely common.

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Poorly-Timed

Some people get overwhelmed and express anger in a situation where it can’t really do any good.

An example would be getting angry at one person in front of a crowd of people. All that does is make people uncomfortable and shuts them down. It’s not a healthy way to express anger or disagreement with someone.

Ongoing Anger

Being angry all the time is most often a symptom of something else. It’s healthy and normal to express anger when you disagree with someone. However, if someone is angry most of the time and always seems to be expressing their anger to everyone around them, this won’t serve them well.

Over time, people will start to avoid this person and have as little contact as possible. The reason being is no one likes being around someone who is angry all the time; it’s a no-win situation.

Healthy Ways to Express Anger

What about the healthy ways[1] to adapt? When learning how to deal with anger, here are some healthy ways to get you started.

Being Honest

Express your anger or disagreement honestly. Be truthful about what it is that is making you angry. Sometimes this will entail walking away and thinking about it for a bit before you respond.

Don’t say you’re mad at something someone did or said when it’s really something else that upset you.

Being Direct

Similar to being honest, being direct is a healthy way to express anger.

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Don’t talk around something that is making you angry. Don’t say that one thing is making you angry when it’s really something else, and don’t stack items on top of each other so you can unload on someone about 10 different things 6 months from now.

Be direct and upfront about what is making you angry. Ensure you are expressing your anger to the person who upset you or you are angry at, not to someone else. This is very counterproductive.

Being Timely

When something makes you angry, it’s much better to express it in a timely manner. Don’t keep it bottled up inside of you, as that’s only going to do more harm than good.

Think of the marriages that seem to go up in flames out of nowhere when the reality is someone kept quiet for years until they hit their breaking point.

Expressing anger as it occurs is a much healthier way of using anger to help us guide our relationships in the moment.

How to Deal With Anger

If you feel angry, how should you deal with it right at that moment?

1. Slow Down

From time to time, I receive an email at work that makes me so angry that steam is probably pouring out of my ears.

In my less restrained moments, I have been known to fire off a quick response, and that typically has ended about as well as you might imagine.

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When I actually walk away from my computer and go do something else for a while, I am able to calm down and think more rationally. After that happens, I am able to respond in a more appropriate and productive manner. Doing things that helps you learn how to release anger can make an uncomfortable situation more manageable before it gets out of hand.

2. Focus on the “I”

Remember that you are the one that’s upset. Don’t accuse people of making you upset because, in the end, it’s your response to what someone did that really triggered your anger. You don’t want to place blame by saying something like “Why don’t you ever put away your dishes?” Say something more like “Having dirty dishes laying on the counter upsets me—can you work with me to come to a solution?”

When you are accusatory towards someone, all that does is increase the tension. This doesn’t usually do anything except make your anger rise higher.

3. Work out

When learning how to deal with anger, exercise is a great outlet. If something happens that angers you, see if you have the opportunity to burn off some of the anger.

Being able to hit the gym to get a hard workout in is great. If this isn’t an option, see if you can go for a run or a bike ride. If you are at work when you become angry and the weather permits, at least go outside for a brisk walk.

Besides working some of your anger out through exercise, this also helps to give your mind a chance to work through some ways to address what it is that upset you.

If you’re not sure where to start with an exercise routine, check out Lifehack’s free Simple Cardio Home Workout Plan.

4. Seek Help When Needed

There are times when we could all use some help. Life can be stressful and overwhelming. It’s perfectly fine to seek some help from a mental health professional if it will help you get back to a healthy balance.If you find that you are angry all the time, it might be a good idea to go talk to an expert about learning to control intense emotions. They can give you some sound advice and ideas on how to get your anger to a more manageable and healthy level.

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5. Practice Relaxation

We all seem to lead incredibly busy lives, and that’s a good thing if we are loving the life we are living. That being said, it is very beneficial to our physical and mental well-being to take time out for relaxation.

That can mean spending time doing things that help us calm down and relax, like being around people we enjoy, practicing deep breathing or listening to music. It could be making time for things that help bring us balance like a healthy diet and physical activity.

Many people incorporate techniques such as yoga and meditation to calm their minds and release tension when learning how to deal with anger. Whatever your choice is, ensure you take time out to relax when warning signs of anger start to bubble up.

6. Laugh

Incorporating humor and laughter on a regular basis will help keep anger in check and help you get over a bad mood and feelings of anger more quickly. This isn’t part of formal anger management techniques, but you’ll be surprised by how well it works. Remember, life is a journey that’s meant to be enjoyed fully along the way through healthy emotion. Make sure you take time to laugh and have fun.Surround yourself with people that like to laugh and enjoy life. Don’t work at a job that just causes you stress, which can lead to anger. Work at something you enjoy doing.

7. Be Grateful

It’s easy to focus on the bad in life and the things that cause us negative emotions. It’s vitally important to remind ourselves of all the wonderful things in life that bring us positive emotions, things that we easily forget because we get caught up in the whirlwind of day to day life.

Take time out each day to remind yourself of a few things you are grateful for in order to help you learn how to release anger and invite in more positive feelings.

Final Thoughts

Life can be overwhelming at times. We seem to have constant pressure to achieve more and to always be on the go. People we are around and situations we are in can cause stress, anger, and negative emotions. At times, it can seem to be too much, and we get angry and our emotions start to get out of control.

During these times, keep in mind that life is an incredible journey, full of wonder and things that bring you joy. When you find yourself angry more often than is healthy, take time out to remember the good things in life—the things that we seem to forget yet bring us so much positive energy and emotions.

Use some of the tips included here to help with how to deal with anger and better control your emotions.

More Resources on Anger Management

Featured photo credit: Andre Hunter via unsplash.com

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