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I Am An Introvert And Here Are Some Common Scenarios In My Life.

I Am An Introvert And Here Are Some Common Scenarios In My Life.

As a blogger, being an introvert can be both empowering and restrictive in equal measure. While I am often indecisive and reserved when it comes to selecting the types of content to publish on my blog, for example, the medium enables me to talk openly about the issues I experience in everyday life. More specifically, I can use my blog as a platform to connect with other introverts and hopefully help them to effectively manage a number of social scenarios.

With this in mind, here are eight typical scenarios that all introverts should be able to relate to. Hopefully, you will be able to recognize the situations and find solace in the fact that you are not alone.

1. Introverts feel lonelier at social events than they do when they are by themselves.

While we must all become accustomed to our own company at times, introverts are often at their loneliest during social gatherings. From informal, after-work meetings to impromptu interactions with long-lost friends, those of us with an introverted mind-set often become lost amid small talk and gradually become isolated from the rest of the room. The main reason for this is that we introverts tend to crave deep, one-on-one conversations, rather than trying to compete for center stage amid a gaggle of shouting voices!

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2. Introverts make for the most inept party hosts.

Similarly, you would be hard-pushed to find a more unsuitable party host than an introvert. This instantly throws introverts under the glare of the spotlight, where they are required to meet guests and socialize with people outside of their immediate, trusted network. Such discomfort can quickly turn into panic, especially as unexpected guests turn up and you resort to spend your time anxiously policing the behavior of others rather than socializing.

3. Introverts magically disappear in group conversations.

If you belong to the band of introverts who constantly try to immerse themselves in group interactions, you will be accustomed to a brief period of promise followed by sudden disappointment. While you may enter a social setting and quickly try to socialize with others, for example, your inability of engage in small talk will ultimately cause you to lose the attention of others and gradually fade into the background. Cue a period of harsh introspection, as you magically disappear from the group’s conscience and become a peripheral figure.

4. Introverts either struggle to think or over-think in social situations.

Life as an introvert is one of extremes, as you fluctuate between being unable to think in social scenarios and over-analyzing every chosen word or topic for conversation. In terms of the former, introverts will know that it is almost impossible to think within a group, as endless small talk and chatter disrupts their thought processes and prevents them from processing topics of conversation. As they become anxious and even keener to make an impression, however, they visit the other extreme and over analyse every potential contribution to the conversation.

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This filter ultimately creates doubt and confusion, meaning that introverts sit silently on the sidelines while the world passes them by.

5. Introverts dread a ringing phone.

I myself am not a huge fan of phone calls, usually because they are either made by customer service reps or family members wanting to engage in idle chit-chat. Either way the sound of a ringing phone usually triggers a sense of dread or apprehension, which will probably strike a chord with all introverts out there. This will usually force me to ignore repeated calls, until I summon the will to return them (at least to numbers that I recognize). The irony of this is that I also hate making calls too, so this creates an all too familiar cycle of anxiety and procrastination!

6. Introverts are often under-appreciated and under-estimated in the workplace.

As introverts we are often under-appreciated in the workplace, primarily because we are misunderstood by employers. An often overlooked characteristic of introverts is that they are motivated and energized by internal thoughts, as opposed to extroverts who thrive on the energy of others. This type of introspective approach can often be confused with apathy or a lack of confidence by employers, forcing them to constantly overlook introverts for promotion and advancement.

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I can identify with this only too well, and this is the primary reason why I decided to work independently as a blogger and writer.

7. Introverts often wish they were extroverted.

In many ways, you cannot blame employees for misunderstanding introverts. After all, I have met many introverts who misunderstand their own condition and crave the energy and social prowess showcased by those with an extroverted personality. This can occasionally serve as the inspiration for introverts to enter into group conversations, as a part of them longs to hold court and interact with others simultaneously. Such envy can hinder introverts, however, as they waste time longing to be something they are not rather than embracing their nature and making the most of their lives.

8. Introverts struggle to build romantic relationships.

While their ability to listen and pursue paths of personal development makes introvert excellent romantic companions, building such liaisons in the first instance can be painstaking, time consuming and the very definition of awkward. All introverts will associate with the familiar feeling of dread when meeting someone that they like for the very first time, as they become flustered and struggle to muster the words required to engage them.

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I would urge all introverts to persist, however, as we have the capability to enjoy harmonious and genuinely peaceful relationships.

Featured photo credit: Send me Adrift / Flickr via flickr.com

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Last Updated on December 3, 2019

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

10 Life Lessons You’d Better Learn Early on in Life

There are so many lessons I wish I had learned while I was young enough to appreciate and apply them. The thing with wisdom, and often with life lessons in general, is that they’re learned in retrospect, long after we needed them. The good news is that other people can benefit from our experiences and the lessons we’ve learned.

Here’re 10 important life lessons you should learn early on:

1. Money Will Never Solve Your Real Problems

Money is a tool; a commodity that buys you necessities and some nice “wants,” but it is not the panacea to your problems.

There are a great many people who are living on very little, yet have wonderfully full and happy lives… and there are sadly a great many people are living on quite a lot, yet have terribly miserable lives.

Money can buy a nice home, a great car, fabulous shoes, even a bit of security and some creature comforts, but it cannot fix a broken relationship, or cure loneliness, and the “happiness” it brings is only fleeting and not the kind that really and truly matters. Happiness is not for sale. If you’re expecting the “stuff” you can buy to “make it better,” you will never be happy.

2. Pace Yourself

Often when we’re young, just beginning our adult journey we feel as though we have to do everything at once. We need to decide everything, plan out our lives, experience everything, get to the top, find true love, figure out our life’s purpose, and do it all at the same time.

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Slow down—don’t rush into things. Let your life unfold. Wait a bit to see where it takes you, and take time to weigh your options. Enjoy every bite of food, take time to look around you, let the other person finish their side of the conversation. Allow yourself time to think, to mull a bit.

Taking action is critical. Working towards your goals and making plans for the future is commendable and often very useful, but rushing full-speed ahead towards anything is a one-way ticket to burnout and a good way to miss your life as it passes you by.

3. You Can’t Please Everyone

“I don’t know the secret to success, but the secret to failure is trying to please everyone” – Bill Cosby.

You don’t need everyone to agree with you or even like you. It’s human nature to want to belong, to be liked, respected and valued, but not at the expense of your integrity and happiness. Other people cannot give you the validation you seek. That has to come from inside.

Speak up, stick to your guns, assert yourself when you need to, demand respect, stay true to your values.

4. Your Health Is Your Most Valuable Asset

Health is an invaluable treasure—always appreciate, nurture, and protect it. Good health is often wasted on the young before they have a chance to appreciate it for what it’s worth.

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We tend to take our good health for granted, because it’s just there. We don’t have to worry about it, so we don’t really pay attention to it… until we have to.

Heart disease, bone density, stroke, many cancers—the list of many largely preventable diseases is long, so take care of your health now, or you’ll regret it later on.

5. You Don’t Always Get What You Want

“Life is what happens while you’re busy making other plans.” – John Lennon

No matter how carefully you plan and how hard you work, sometimes things just don’t work out the way you want them to… and that’s okay.

We have all of these expectations; predetermined visions of what our “ideal” life will look like, but all too often, that’s not the reality of the life we end up with. Sometimes our dreams fail and sometimes we just change our minds mid-course. Sometimes we have to flop to find the right course and sometimes we just have to try a few things before we find the right direction.

6. It’s Not All About You

You are not the epicenter of the universe. It’s very difficult to view the world from a perspective outside of your own, since we are always so focused on what’s happening in our own lives. What do I have to do today? What will this mean for me, for my career, for my life? What do I want?

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It’s normal to be intensely aware of everything that’s going on in your own life, but you need to pay as much attention to what’s happening around you, and how things affect other people in the world as you do to your own life. It helps to keep things in perspective.

7. There’s No Shame in Not Knowing

No one has it all figured out. Nobody has all the answers. There’s no shame in saying “I don’t know.” Pretending to be perfect doesn’t make you perfect. It just makes you neurotic to keep up the pretense of manufactured perfection.

We have this idea that there is some kind of stigma or shame in admitting our limitations or uncertainly, but we can’t possibly know everything. We all make mistakes and mess up occasionally. We learn as we go, that’s life.

Besides—nobody likes a know-it-all. A little vulnerability makes you human and oh so much more relatable.

8. Love Is More Than a Feeling; It’s a Choice

That burst of initial exhilaration, pulse quickening love and passion does not last long. But that doesn’t mean long-lasting love is not possible.

Love is not just a feeling; it’s a choice that you make every day. We have to choose to let annoyances pass, to forgive, to be kind, to respect, to support, to be faithful.

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Relationships take work. Sometimes it’s easy and sometimes it’s incredibly hard. It is up to us to choose how we want to act, think and speak in a relationship.

9. Perspective Is a Beautiful Thing

Typically, when we’re worried or upset, it’s because we’ve lost perspective. Everything that is happening in our lives seems so big, so important, so do or die, but in the grand picture, this single hiccup often means next to nothing.

The fight we’re having, the job we didn’t get, the real or imagined slight, the unexpected need to shift course, the thing we wanted, but didn’t get. Most of it won’t matter 20, 30, 40 years from now. It’s hard to see long term when all you know is short term, but unless it’s life-threatening, let it go, and move on.

10. Don’t Take Anything for Granted

We often don’t appreciate what we have until it’s gone: that includes your health, your family and friends, your job, the money you have or think you will have tomorrow.

When you’re young, it seems that your parents will always be there, but they won’t. You think you have plenty of time to get back in touch with your old friends or spend time with new ones, but you don’t. You have the money to spend, or you think you’ll have it next month, but you might not.

Nothing in your life is not guaranteed to be there tomorrow, including those you love.

This is a hard life lesson to learn, but it may be the most important of all: Life can change in an instant. Make sure you appreciate what you have, while you still have it.

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Featured photo credit: Ben Eaton via unsplash.com

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