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10 Mistakes That Guys Do When They Buy An Engagement Ring

10 Mistakes That Guys Do When They Buy An Engagement Ring

When you are in love with the woman of your dreams, and you are ready to ask her to marry you, it is important that you do it right. This means not only do you need to plan out the perfect proposal, but you also need to find the perfect engagement ring.

Many men tend to make the same mistakes when buying engagement rings. Here are 10 of the top mistakes for you to avoid making in order to impress your future bride.

1. Making a Rushed Purchase

Reading through 100 reviews on your next $2,000 laptop, but only spending 2 minutes for your $5,000 engagement ring? Don’t just go out and get any nice ring, you need to take your time to make sure that you have picked out the perfect engagement ring. Make sure that you shop around, and see what the various jewelers, both online and brick and mortar stores have to offer.

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2. Create Your Own Engagement Ring

Custom-made doesn’t necessarily mean ultra-expensive. In fact, you may be able to spend less money, and get a much nicer ring than you would find in a jewelry store. However, a custom-made ring is most likely to be non-refundable. A brief online search will allow you to uncover a large variety of styles, carats and settings so it will be special for sure.

3. Not Setting a Budget

You need to have a budget in place before you start shopping for an engagement ring. Otherwise, you could end up spending a lot more than you can afford. When you set a budget, you will only be looking at rings that are within an affordable price range.

4. Only Shopping in Chain Stores

Chain stores all seem to have the same pieces. If your future fiancée is unique, her engagement ring should be as well. Look for rings that aren’t mass produced.

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5. Not Talking to a Specialist

This is a person who can help you choose the perfect diamond for the engagement ring. This is a person who specializes in diamonds, and they know what they are talking about.

6. Falling for Biased Review Sites

You may think that you have found the perfect engagement ring from an online seller. So, you check out reviews of the ring, and the seller, and see a lot of rave reviews. How do you know if they are real? “Authentic reviews are usually long reviews with a lot of emotions,” says Goya Berg, the founder of DiamondsPeaceArmy.com, an unbiased diamond review site. Berg recommends picking a loyal forum or website and paying attention for multiple comments.

7. Only Researching Online

You don’t always get accurate information online, especially when someone is trying to sell you something. Look at engagement rings in stores and get some prices before doing any online research, so you can compare rings and prices.

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8. Not Telling Your Girlfriend’s Best Friend

Your fiancée is going to be wearing this ring for the rest of her life, so it only stands to reason that you should involve her best friend in the purchase. Simply find out what she likes, her ring size, etc. so you can find a ring that she will love. You can even get her to pick out a few different styles so you have some examples to choose from.

9. Not Researching Diamonds

You don’t need to take a course in gemology, but you should learn a bit about diamonds, such as how they are rated. That way, you will know if you are being charged too much for a ring. Learn about the four C’s: cut, color, clarity, and carat.

10. Only Shopping in Department Stores

While the bright lights in department stores can make the jewelry they sell look shiny and pretty, it is usually of inferior quality. Sure, you may get a great deal, but how great is it when the ring is just something that was mass produced, and poorly at that?

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Final Conclusion

Research, check the return policy, make a budget, don’t fall for fake reviews and beware of discounts!

Featured photo credit: Seth Lemmons via flickr.com

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Jane Hurst

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Last Updated on February 21, 2019

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

The Secret to Effective Conflict Resolution: The IBR Approach

In business, in social relationships, in family… In whatever context conflict is always inevitable, especially when you are in the leader role. This role equals “make decisions for the best of majority” and the remaining are not amused. Conflicts arise.

Conflicts arise when we want to push for a better quality work but some members want to take a break from work.

Conflicts arise when we as citizens want more recreational facilities but the Government has to balance the needs to maintain tourism growth.

Conflicts are literally everywhere.

Avoiding Conflicts a No-No and Resolving Conflicts a Win-Win

Avoiding conflicts seem to be a viable option for us. The cruel fact is, it isn’t. Conflicts won’t walk away by themselves. They will, instead, escalate and haunt you back even more when we finally realize that’s no way we can let it be.

Moreover, avoiding conflicts will eventually intensify the misunderstanding among the involved parties. And the misunderstanding severely hinders open communication which later on the parties tend to keep things secret. This is obviously detrimental to teamwork.

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Some may view conflicts as the last step before arguments. And they thus leave it aside as if they never happen. This is not true.

Conflicts are the intersect point between different individuals with different opinions. And this does not necessarily lead to argument.

Instead, proper handling of conflicts can actually result in a win-win situation – both parties are pleased and allies are gained. A better understanding between each other and future conflicts are less likely to happen.

The IBR Approach to Resolve Conflicts

Here, we introduce to you an effective approach to resolve conflicts – the Interest-Based Relational (IBR) approach. The IBR approach was developed by Roger Fisher and William Ury in their 1981 book Getting to Yes. It stresses the importance of the separation between people and their emotions from the problem. Another focus of the approach is to build mutual understanding and respect as they strengthen bonds among parties and can ultimately help resolve conflicts in a harmonious way. The approach suggests a 6-step procedure for conflict resolution:

Step 1: Prioritize Good Relationships

How? Before addressing the problem or even starting the discussion, make it clear the conflict can result in a mutual trouble and through subsequent respectful negotiation the conflict can be resolved peacefully. And that brings the best outcome to the whole team by working together.

Why? It is easy to overlook own cause of the conflict and point the finger to the members with different opinions. With such a mindset, it is likely to blame rather than to listen to the others and fail to acknowledge the problem completely. Such a discussion manner will undermine the good relationships among the members and aggravate the problem.

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Example: Before discussion, stress that the problem is never one’s complete fault. Everyone is responsible for it. Then, it is important to point out our own involvement in the problem and state clearly we are here to listen to everyone’s opinions rather than accusing others.

Step 2: People Are NOT the Cause of Problem

How? State clearly the problem is never one-sided. Collaborative effort is needed. More importantly, note the problem should not be taken personally. We are not making accusations on persons but addressing the problem itself.

Why? Once things taken personally, everything will go out of control. People will become irrational and neglect others’ opinions. We are then unable to address the problem properly because we cannot grasp a fuller and clearer picture of the problem due to presumption.

Example: In spite of the confronting opinions, we have to emphasize that the problem is not a result of the persons but probably the different perspectives to view it. So, if we try to look at the problem from the other’s perspective, we may understand why there are varied opinions.

Step 3: Listen From ALL Stances

How? Do NOT blame others. It is of utmost importance. Ask for everyone’s opinions. It is important to let everyone feel that they contribute to the discussion. Tell them their involvement is essential to solve the problem and their effort is very much appreciated.

Why? None wants to be ignored. If one feels neglected, it is very likely for he/she to be aggressive. It is definitely not what we hope to see in a discussion. Acknowledging and being acknowledged are equally important. So, make sure everyone has equal opportunity to express their views. Also, realizing their opinions are not neglected, they will be more receptive to other opinions.

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Example: A little trick can played here: Invite others to talk first. It is an easy way to let others feel involved and ,more importantly, know their voices are heard. Also, we can show that we are actively listening to them by giving direct eye-contact and nodding. One important to note is that never interrupt anyone. Always let them finish first beforeanother one begins.

Step 4: Listen Comes First, Talk Follows

How? Ensure everyone has listened to one another points of view. It can be done by taking turn to speak and leaving the discussion part at last. State once again the problem is nothing personal and no accusation should be made.

Why? By turn-taking, everyone can finish talking and voices of all sides can be heard indiscriminantly. This can promote willingness to listen to opposing opinions.

Example: We can prepare pieces of paper with different numbers written on them. Then, ask different members to pick one and talk according to the sequence of the number. After everyone’s finished, advise everyone to use “I” more than “You” in the discussion period to avoid others thinking that it is an accusation.

Step 5: Understand the Facts, Then Address the Problem

How? List out ALL the facts first. Ask everyone to tell what they know about the problems.

Why? Sometimes your facts are unknown to the others while they may know something we don’t. Missing out on these facts could possibly lead to inaccurate capture of the problem. Also, different known facts can lead to different perception of the matter. It also helps everyone better understand the problem and can eventually help reach a solution.

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Example: While everyone is expressing their own views, ask them to write down everything they know that is true to the problem. As soon as everyone has finished, all facts can be noted and everyone’s understanding of the problem is raised.

Step 6: Solve the Problem Together

How? Knowing what everyone’s thinking, it is now time to resolve the conflict. Up to this point, everyone should have understood the problem better. So, it is everyone’s time to suggest some solutions. It is important not to have one giving all the solutions.

Why? Having everyone suggesting their solutions is important as they will not feel excluded and their opinions are considered. Besides, it may also generate more solutions that can better resolve the conflicts. Everyone will more likely be satisfied with the result.

Example: After discussion, ask all members to suggest any possible solutions and stress that all solutions are welcomed. State clearly that we are looking for the best outcomes for everyone’s sake rather than battling to win over one another. Then, evaluate all the solutions and pick the one that is in favor of everyone.

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